AN- This is my second story I am working on. Updates will be every Wednesday. Tuesdays are for my Bella/Benjamin fanfic and tomorrow I'm posting a crossover of Dominion/Twilight, it will be a Michael/Bella fanfic. I hope you enjoy this and please let me know if you do. Please excuse any mistakes you have found, I have no beta and do try and correct everything but every now and again one will slip through.
When Edward had left Bella had found herself lost. She didn't even recognised herself in the mirror. It was a stranger looking back at her and it had hurt that bit more. How could she of left herself come to this? She was like a marionette with her strings cut off. Limp painted wood. That was the day she finally realised she had become something she never thought she would have. Weak, pathetically weak. She had fallen so far from the girl she used to be that she was not sure she would ever find her way back to her. After that the process of healing picked up speed.
She watched home videos of herself and her family. Watching how she used to be helped put things into perspectives. It showed her how much Edward and his family had taken over her life. Bit by bit until they had full control over her. They had then moulded her into what they wanted. It was a painful realisation. Bella started being more like her old self as the days wore on, She found herself smiling at her reflection in the morning, liking what she was seeing.
School became a big priority. She never re-gelled with Lauren or Jessica but her friendship with Angela and Jacob grew. When she wasn't studying, she was with one of them. Until Jacob just up and left. Bella thought she would of broken like she had with Edward but it only made her stronger. She didn't need people like that in her life. She was never going to be that broken girl on the forest floor so she soldiered on.
Her graduation day came by and Bella watched as Charlie stood before her, eyes glistening with prideful tears. Bella couldn't put herself back in the frame of mind her seventeen year old self held. She was so willing to give all of this up for something she could see now wasn't worth it. Edward wasn't even worth one of her glances.
Bella decide that taking a year off before college was a good idea. She needed some me time. She had to think about where she wanted her life to go but most of all she just wanted to live a little. Not worrying about Renee or Charlie. She was thinking about a road trip when she got a call from her mother. Renee sounded wheezy and snotty over the phone. It had taken nearly half an hour for Bella to find out what had happened through her broken sobs. Her and Phil were over. He had packed up his bags that very night and left after another blazing argument between the two. Phil had wanted children and Renee didn't want anymore. That was the straw that broke the camels back.
Bella could hear herself in her mother. It was like speaking to her younger self when Edward had left. After calming her mother down and much though Bella decided what she was going to do with her year off. Renee was moving back to her childhood home and Bella could use some sun. Her mother original denied Bella coming with her but finally caved in when she realised how stubborn her daughter was. That was how Bella found herself packing and getting ready to move to Charming, California.
_
Bella sat on the old wooden floor with a yellowing piece of paper crumpled in her tight fist. The tears that refused to fall made her vision blurry. Her time in forks was nearly up and she was heading of to their new house tomorrow. It was pointless to say she wasn't looking forward too the long drive. Her mother was already there and so all she had to do was drive up. Renee had rang her an hour ago asking if Bella could bring up some photos from her childhood. Charlie had told her that the box she was looking for was up in the attic. So Bella had made her climb up to the dank room and shuffled around in the dark.
She had found the box she was looking for when she sneezed and nocked over another box behind her. The movement had mad a flurry of paper come spilling out and spread across the floor. Grunting in frustration, she bent over and scrambled around, picking up as many as she could. Bella picked up another one when the logo caught her eye. Dropping the stack neck to her, she opened the piece of paper and scanned through it. She re-read it over and over again. She just couldn't grasp what the letter was saying. It was from a fertility clinic. It wrote on and on but the message was clear as day. Charlie was infertile. Had been his whole life. It was dated a few years before her birth.
How the hell was he her father then? Was it the clinics fault? Bella wobbled, un-steadily onto her two feet. She picked up the photo box and on auto pilot she descended the stairs in a daze. She was incredibly lucky she hadn't fallen down and broke her neck. Bella placed the box near the door frame and stumbled into the living room. Charlie was sitting in his trusted recliner, beer in hand. The TV was on some football channel and Charlie was glued to the glowing screen. Charlie smiled at her when she came into view but it faltered when he noticed the dire look on her face. Reaching over and placing his beer down, Charlie switched of the TV and waited for what was to come.
She couldn't speak. She wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. It was an od mix and left her feeling even more unsettled. Her mind kept switching from this is a joke, to Charlie isn't my father. When she thought he was finally settled on one reaction the other swept through her with so much force, she couldn't breath. Walking over, Bella did the only thing she was capable of at that moment. She dropped the letter on his lap and watched as he picked it up, reading through it. Second by second his face became more stretched and grim.
"Bella, why don't you sit down. We need to talk about this." The joking sensation flew from her and dread settled in on her. She felt claustrophobic. She tried to keep her breathing regular as she backed up to the coach and fell into the seat. The coach squawked under her treatment of it. Bella pushed her hair from her face and waited for Charlie to begin. He looked like he was trying to choose his words carefully.
"Bella. There's no easy way to say this so I'm just going to come out with it. I'm not your biological father. Just, let me finish. Renee is your mother, you're not adopted. We got together when she was already pregnant with you. She had just moved here from charming and to be honest, I was young and in love. I couldn't of asked for a better daughter then you. I love you. Just because I didn't help make you doesn't mean I love you any less or you're any less my daughter okay? She never told me who your father was, just that he wasn't a ... model citizen." Bella took in a broken breathe as she rapidly wiped away the tears in her eyes.
Memories of Charlie helping her brush her hair and reading to her galloped through her mind. This didn't change anything. Charlie was the one who tucked her into bed and taught her to ride a bike. Not this unknown figure. Bella pushed up from the coach and practically charged at the man. She wrapped her arms around him and squeezed for all she was worth. "I love you dad."
Bella could feel Charlies arms creep up around her as he returned her embrace. Charlie soothingly rubbed little circles on her back, like he used to when she was little and had a nightmare in the dead of the night. Even if he had an early shift that morning. "I love you too, kiddo. Those photos you brought down have some photos of Renee back in her younger days in Charming. You should take a look before you leave."
Bella realised her father and scooped up the big box. With one last look at her father she headed to the kitchen. The dining table would be perfect to spread the photos around when she was looking through them. A quick thought made her loose her footing a little. Would she see her biological father in one of the photos? Bella pushed that back. It was unlikely and even if she did she wouldn't recognise them. This wasn't one of those silly Hollywood movies.
The next hour Bella spent rummaging through the books. Most of them were ones she had already seen. At the bottom of the box was a medium sized book. It was nothing extraordinary. Plain black with no writing or decoration. Bella reached in and picked it up. Opening it she found her younger mother staring back at her. This was the book she was looking for. Bella flicked through the pages but stopped at one. In bold lettering at the top it said 'CHARMING SOA". There was only three photos on the page. One was her mother standing next to a buxom brunette. They were both laughing and drinking in it. Bella had never seen her mother smile like that before.
The other one had her mother, around the age Bella was now, leaning on a motorcycle. The sun made her hair look like a golden halo. That came as a shock. Bella never knew her mother could ride one of them. It looked like she was learning a lot about how her mother really was today.
The last one was a group photo. It was the biggest out of the three. Bella peeled it from the book to get a better look. The rag tag group mainly consisted of men in cut off leather jackets. They made an intimidating sight. The Brunette from the earlier photo was standing next to a blonde man, both wrapped up in each others arms. Renee was at the other end of the line up. She had her hand resting on a guys chest with her head laying on his shoulder. Renee was smiling from ear to ear. The man was too. He had his arm around her back, holding Renees hip. They looked very happy with each other. Bella deliberated who he was too her mother. Bella flipped the photo over but found it blank. Just like her mother not to write the names on the back.
Bella bundled up all three photos and shoved them into her wallet. She mused on ringing her mother up but gave that idea up as soon as it came. This discussion was best saved for face to face. Bella gathered up the books and placed them back into the box she found them in. She needed an early night. After all she had a long drive and long talk with her mother tomorrow .
Bella made it past the borders of charming before her beast of a truck clonked out on her. It had been rattling and groaning the last hour of the drive before finally spewing its last breaths and dramatically dying on the edge of the road. Bella hit the steering wheel a few times while sending up silent prayers that it would come back to life. She had nearly made it. She should of known this was too long of a trip for her car. The poor thing hardly managed forks. Bella clambered out of the truck and sauntered up to the front. Little pillars of steam were creeping out of the engine and fading off into the humid air. She unhooked and lifted up the hood. Bella had to wave her hand in front of her face to dissipate the thick smoke that escaped. Once it was cleared Bella prodded and poked the engine. She was no mechanic and had no fucking clue what the hell to look for. She knew she should of gotten her mother to come and pick her up but she couldn't leave her beloved truck behind. No matter its faults. Buggar it wall to hell.
Bella jumped as she felt a hand grasp her shoulder. Spinning around Bella punched the guy in the ribs before she could stop her self. The blonde leg go, stumbling back a bit as he let out and undignified humph. "Oh god, sorry! I didn't hear you." The man straightened out and pushed his somewhat long blonde hair behind his ear.
"Its alright. No harm done. Do you need any help? There's a mechanic's just down the road from here. Although with a truck like that I don't know if it would do it any good. Is it even legal to ride that thing?" Any thought of this guy being extremely handsome flew straight from her head. NO ONE picked on her truck.
"You know what? I take it back. I'm not sorry for hitting you. No one takes the mickey out of big Betty and gets away with it." She was deadly serious but Bella found herself smiling along with the big guy.
"Big Betty? Huh, got to say it does fit the...beast. Come on, I'll take you to the mechanics and get one of the lackeys to toe big Betty. Its just down this road and to the left. I'm Jax" Jax started walking of to the side of her truck, towards the back and Bella followed. Every one of his steps Bella had to take two to keep up. Then she spotted what he was planning on taking her on.
"we're going on that? No. The last time I was on one of them, I jack hammered it and flew face first into a rock. I'm Bella by the way." Jax stopped and turned to face her once he was near his bike, Laughing loudly.
"Well Bella I promise I wont let you try and take flight while on my bike. And just in case you cant help yourself." Jax snatched the helmet of the handles of his bike and placed it on her head, tightening the straps. He straddled his bike and motioned for Bella to climb onto the back. Bella shook her head, she couldn't believe she was doing this again. You only live once she thought. When she was settled and had her arms around his stomach, the two set off.
The ride was short but sweet. She would really enjoy having a bike if she could ever learn how to ride it without trying to become air born. When they pulled to a stop Bella reached up and unlatched the helmet handing it back to Jax. Jax had walked off to a skinny man, most likely telling him about her car, after pointing out the office telling her he would be there in a second. Bella strode into the office while looking around.
"Hello can I help you?" Bella jerked at the noise and then laughed. These people knew how to sneak up on you, that was for sure.
"Yeah my car broke down, a guy called Jax gave me a lift here saying that you guys could fix it?" The lady had a face that made Bella think she knew her. She couldn't pin point it though and shrugged it off. If it was important she would of remembered. "Well you came to the right place sweetheart. Take a seat and we'll fill out the paperwork. Bella plonked herself down on the small chair opposite the desk. They spent the next twenty minutes going through paperwork when the lady asked too see some ID.
Bella pulled her wallet out and started pulling things out to find her Id card. She always lost the damn thing. Without thinking Bella just put the stuff she had pulled out onto the desk. The lady reached over and picked up the photos Bella had stored in her wallet and flicked through them. "Where did you get these?" Bella looked up from her rummaging and saw what the lady was asking about.
"Oh, them? They were my mothers. She grew up here and we're moving back. She's the blonde next to the brunette women." The lady flickered between looking at Bella and the photos. Bella could of sworn she heard her whisper 'I'll be damned'.
"That other brunette is me, Gemma darling. Never thought I would see Renee again after she left... How old are you?" Bella took the photos back after Gemma had offered her them and cleared the desk of her cluttered things.
"I'm twenty one, Twenty two in three months." Gemma stayed quite for a few moments before a wicked gleam shone in her eyes.
" Wow. so are BOTH your parents coming?" Gemma looked like she was fishing for something but Bella had no idea what the older woman could be getting at. Bella shoved her wallet back into her bag before fiddling with her loose hair. She left the photos out.
"No. Its a pretty long story." Gemma rose one shaped eyebrow. Bella felt like she would spill her guts before she ever got to leave this office.
"I think I can handle it." Bella coughed and run a hand through her hair nervously.
"Uh, my mum and dad divorced when I was little. I only just found out he wasn't my father. Charlie, my dad, told me my mum was already pregnant when she went to live in forks. So... yeah"
Gemma folded her arms over her chest and lent back in her chair. She reminded Bella of a queen sitting on her throne. "you going to try and find your real dad?"
Bella didn't bother to try and stop the laugh that bubbled up. Copying Gemma she lent back in her chair, relaxing. "No. He obviously didn't want me for this or that reason."
Gemma stood up and ran her hand around the desk as she walked over to Bella."Well maybe, or maybe he doesn't even know about you. Renee could of ran off before telling anyone. I knew your mother very well when she was living here." Bella didn't like how it sounded. Gemma had made it sound like she wasn't offering an alternative but a statement. As if that had really happened. Did she know anything about her real dad?
"Can I borrow those photos doll? I just want to let my husband know that our friend is moving back. he'll be glad to hear it." Bella handed over the photos, still bewildered with the way the conversation was going. Gemma walked outside the office and over to the garage bit, off to the side. Bella could see her out of the window. She was talking to a grey haired man in the same leather jacket Jax was in. Gemma pointed over to her and Bella gave a nervous wave. The guy, though old, looked like a tank. Gemma waved her hand motioning her to come over.
Bella stepped out into the bright light and over to the pair. She had never felt so small before. "err hi." this time she did hear the I'll be damned that was whispered. "Clayton. You must be Bella, well your... car is going to take awhile. Why don't you head into the bar with Gemma."
Bella took of with Gemma into the bar as clayton left to talk to another person. He was shorter then clayton. His hair was curly and wild. She heard a name and something about stalling until someone called Tigs could get here. The last thing she saw before entering the bar was the other man glancing her way. He looked shocked.
_
The bar was nice but true to a bikers wet dream. Bella gave a rather loud chuckle at the wall covered in mug shots. It was definitely unique. Gemma lead her over to a bar stall and Bella sat herself down. Bella and Gemma spent the next three hours talking and laughing. When things started to get a bit busy, Gemma asked Bella to help her behind the bar. It was a learning curve but Bella really enjoyed it and Gemma told her she was doing a great job. If the customers got too friendly with her Gemma would send them this look that would of sent the devil scurrying. "I'm just going to give my mother a quick ring, she's waiting at the house for me." Gemma nodded but then held out her hand for Bellas phone. Flexing her fingers as she did so.
"Why don't I give her a quick ring. Let her know your with someone she knows. I haven't spoken to her in a long time." Bella didn't see the problem and smiled as she handed the phone over. Maybe re-connecting to some old friends would help get her mother out of her funk.
Gemma lent over the bar, leaning on her elbows as she held the phone up to her ear waiting for Renee to pick up. "Hello Renee, Its Gemma. Bellas with me at the garage her car broke down... Don't worry she's fine, I've been telling her old stories about...us... Oh, I know... It was lovely getting to know her, Some of the others would LOVE to know her two. In fact they should be here in the next ten minutes... Yeah, she's a dead ringer that one... I wouldn't bother Renee, they will be here soon... Bye bye."
"what was that about?" Bella asked as Gemma handed her back her phone. Bella shoved it back into her back pocket.
"She was just asking if you had met any of her other old friends, I let her know they were on there way. She's on her way here to puck you up, I don't think your car is going to be ready by tonight sweetheart." Bella went to speak again but the big doors wacked open and in cam a goup of men dressed all in the same jacket. The big and quite intimidating crowd congregated around the bar. Not for the first time Bella wished she was bigger then five three.
"Well what do we have here." Bella looked over to the man speaking to her and took him in. He had dark curly hair and a moustache and goatee combo. What caught her though was his eyes. They were incredibly blue.
Gemma lent over Bella towards the man. "Tigs, this is Renee Dwyer's daughter, Bella." Tigs looked confused, glancing between Gemma and Bella.
"Renee ? As in Renee, Renee? She seems too... old." Bella scoffed and wrapped her arms around her chest and tried to look as bad ass as she could.
"Old? I'm twenty one, not seventy." Tigs hands tightened on the bar he was holding and stumbled back into an open chair. "Twenty one?" Gemma reached over and patted his arm.
"Yeah. Why don't I get you a beer. You need it."
Bella had never before felt so puzzled. What was the big deal with her being twenty one? Bella didn't know what she should do and thought about wondering off. Just as she was about to, Tigs lent over and grasped her arm.
"Twenty one hey? Well I'm Tigs. why don't you sit down and we'll tal-" For a second time that night the door slammed open and her mother came storming into the room in a blazing glory. Renee spotted Bella quickly. She looked dishevelled and on the verge of a break down. Renee stomped behind the bar and grabbed Bellas other arm, pulling her from Tigs grasp with a bruising yank.
"Come on Bella were going home now." They had nearly made it to the door when they were intercepted by Tigs. He looked incredibly pissed and Bella swallowed down the lump in her throat.
"When the hell were you going to tell me Renee?!" Renee still carried on and shoved him out of the way. For someone Bellas height she had amazing strength
"Not here and not know Tigs. come on Bella." Tigs grabbed her mother by the shoulders and looked her squarely in the face.
"No. You don't get to dictate that. We're going to talk about this now. You've already ruined the last twenty one years. I'm not going to let you pull a vanishing act again. At least I know why you did it last time now."
Bella opened her mouth when Renee turned around and shoved her in the direction of the door. "Go wait by the car. I'll be there in a second." Bella started to argue when she felt a hand on her shoulder. Turning around she saw Jax standing behind her and he lead her out of the door. The noon sun had gone down somewhat and a chill was settling in to the atmosphere.
"Its best to leave them when they start arguing like that. your only tiny, you would get squished. Cant have that now can we?" Bella laughed despite herself. She was confused and tired from the long day of travelling.
All she wanted to do was curl up in bed with a good mind numbing action film. That sounded like bliss right now. "So, do you know when big betty will be able to hit the road again?" Jax shoved his hands into his pockets and lent back on the motorcycle he was standing in front of.
"Not sure. It will be a few days least. Big Bettys old and needs a lot done to her. You can still pop into tomorrow though, My mum, Gemma seemed to like your company." Bella chocked on the saliva in her mouth. "Gemma's your mother?" Jax laughed and kicked of from the motorcycle, he came standing before her, a few inches apart. Bella had to crank her neck back to look at his face. He was a giant compared to her.
"She never said?" The doors to the bar opened and her mother came screaming and storming out. Her face was red and she was followed by Tigs, just as red in the face as she was. Gemma came tumbling out with clayton next. "STAY FUCK AWAY FROM MY DAUGHTER." Renee stormed over and yanked Bella away from Jax, half dragging her to the car. "YOU TOO!" She shouted at Jax after manhandling Bella into the car. Renee slammed the door to her side and pulled away with a screech, she drove like hell was on there heels, out of the parking lot. Bella looked worriedly over to her mother. This was going to be a long night. She didn't think the situation was going to get any clearer either.
Her mother still hadn't calmed down even after getting into their new house. Bella was about up too here with what was going on. "Mom STOP! what the hell was that back there? They weren't that bad." Her mother stopped her pacing and span to face Bella, she looked ready to ponce and tear her face off.
"not bad? NOT BAD?! you do not know the first thing about those people Bella. If you were as smart as you think you are, you would stay they hell away from them. I Promise I'll tell you everything later." Bella braced her self. She kept trying to remind herself that if she got angry it wouldn't help. the chant didn't help any as her blood boiled away. Bella puffed her chest out.
"Oh later? Yeah of course. Just like you were planning to tell me that Charlie wasn't my dad later? Or did you think you could of gotten away with that one." He mother went completely still and slack jawed. She looked reminiscent of a guppy fish that Bella used to have as a child.
"Did Gemma tell you that? I.." Bella cut her off before she could continue. "No It wasn't Gemma. I found the infertility letter Charlie had in his attic. He sat me down and talked to me like a grown adult. WHICH I AM. Why did you never tell me? Why the hell do you have a problem with me being around... OH... I see it now. One of the people from the club is my father isn't he. God did you think I would of never found out? we're moving here mum! Its... its that Tigs guy isn't it?"
Her mothers face had softened and she took a step towards Bella but Bella batted her reaching hands away from her self. She wasn't in the mood for this. Bella stormed past her mother and towards the stairs. "I'm not dealing with this tonight. I'm off to bed. We'll talk sometime tomorrow. Its too much for one day." Bella left her mother standing in the living room as she made her way to her bed.
The morning was full of sunshine and blue sky's. Her mother wasn't in the house. She must of been out somewhere brooding or avoiding her. Bella didn't really care, They both needed sometime out before they tried to talk this through. Bella scavenged through the cupboards but found them bare. Sighing and picking up her wallet, she left to go the grocery store. It was only a few blocks away, she had seen it on her drive here yesterday. Shrugging on her thin, summer jacket Bella set off. the walk didn't take too long and Bella found herself stepping through the automatic doors. It was cooler inside the shop.
Bella took a trolley and started her circuit around the isles. The shop was playing cheesy eighties music faintly and it was starting to grate on her nerves. If she had to listen to one more song she was going to blow her brains out all over the tacky, yellow lino.
Bella was at the fresh produce isle when she herd her name being called. Turning around Bella faced a cheery Gemma. Gemma came too stand next to her also looking through the variety even though she didn't have a trolley or a basket. "I was wondering if you wanted to come back over to the club today and help out behind the bar again?" Bella looked quizzically at her.
"Do you really think that's a good idea with the way my mum was acting yesterday? She's adamant I stay away from you lot, why is that?" Gemma smiled and patted Bella on the back good naturedly. Bella wanted to see if Gemma told her the truth. She had obviously clocked on when she was asking all those questions yesterday.
"She'll calm down. It is your choice. It was just old disagreements yesterday." Bella scoffed and shoved the pack of apples she was holding back in its place.
"Please Gemma, don't treat me like an idiot. I'm guessing that my biological father is either part of the garage or the people in the garage now him. after the arguments yesterday, I'm putting my money on that Tigs guy. Its not that hard to put together." Bella pushed her trolley out and moved up the isle. The wheels made an annoying squeak.
"Well, Tigs wanted to talk to you today anyway and seen as you've already figured everything out I don't see the problem. Tigs, the guy you served last night? Well, yes, he's your father sweetheart. He wanted to speak to you today, if you could get away from your mother. And well, I don't mind your company, plus I could always use the extra hands behind the bar or in the garage office. what do you say? Leave the shopping you can do it later. We can order a bite to eat at the garage. Come on?" Bella griped the handle bars of the trolley tightly, contemplating. Her mother seemed distress with her being around them but that might of just been her afraid of Bella finding her father. She was twenty one and it was about time she made a choice for her self and no one else.
"Oh, what the hell, okay." Gemma took her trolley and just pushed it to the side and left it there. The two women made there way out and as the sun momentarily blinded Bella, She had a strange feeling that she was getting into something she shouldn't and that life would never be the same.