'It should have been me.' The thought is stuck in Hiro's mind. 'It should have been me.' It repeats it self to Hiro again day after day. The day Tadashi Hamada died it should have Hiro Hamada not Tadashi. Tadashi was bright, caring, kind, smart, he was just a really good guy. The complete oppisite of his little brother Hiro.

Hiro what a ironic name to have. He isn't a hero, he is a failure. Tadashi was a hero, a true hero. At least to his little brother he was one. Even if he didn't deserve that. And Tadashi Hamada was going to be a hero to many others with his health care invention. But that was the past, he never got to be a hero to others just because of his little brother who failed to save him. To stop his death from happening.

Tadashi was strong. Hiro is weak. Tadashi's body was fit and big with muscles. Hiro is small, skinny, short. Short even for his age, his body is nothing like how Tadashi's was. To fat on his stomach but to skinny on his arms. No muscles at all. Tadashi also had a nice cool tan. While Hiro is getting more and more pale everyday. In short Tadashi was beautiful and Hiro is ugly.

Tadashi's hair was always neat and combed in a good looking way. Hiro's hair is a forever mess. Tadashi had a great smile to, just as bright as his personality. Hiro has a weird, ugly gap in his teeth so his smile just looks goofy and dumb. Hiro was never really that bright of a kid. He was a trouble maker.

Tadashi was very and always friendly. He had friends who he cared and loved. And they all cared and loved his back just as much. But he died leaving them behind, hurting them. Hiro never had friends who cared or loved him. He was always alone so it wouldn't matter that much if he had died.

And he bets now the team only hangs out with him is only out of pity. "His brother died and now he has no else except his aunt who is usually to busy anyway." They all probably resent him for failing to save Tadashi or just plain hate him for it. If only he had stopped Tadashi from going into the building he would still be alive. Their friend would still be alive, his brother would still be alive.

'It should have been me.'

He can't stand himself some days, when he knows Tadashi could be here where he is alive instead of him. The guilt and sorrow weigh him down everyday. And he snaps some days, he sobs to himself, crying, wishing he was dead. That he died and Tadashi was still alive. But he's never loud. He doesn't want aunt Cass to hear him and waste her worries on a pathetic kid like him.

He doesn't deserve such kindness from her, from anyone. Not Gogo, not Wasabi, not Honey Lemon and not Fred. Most of the time he wishes they would shun him. Show there hate for him. Calls him names and make him break. Maybe then he could feel a little better about it. But he doesn't deserve that either.

'It should have been ME!'

He's always very scared of the thought that they will hurt him. Leave him. He's terrified of it. Afraid they'll show him how they really feel, the anger and pain, the sadness, the hate for him, Hiro Hamada. Afraid they'll just get tired of dealing with him, tired of acting like they care and that they're his friends. But he guesses it's okay for them to hate him. Because he hates himself probably the most.

So when they actually shun and betray him he'll accept it. The hate and sorrow, all the emotions that they hide. That he hides.

He hides it behind smiles and laughs. Hides it with acting and faking. And sometimes even he starts to believe it. He starts to believe the fake smiles and laughs, he thinks he's happy again. It always crashes on him. The fake happiness he built up for himself. He remembers that they all hate him. That he hates himself.

He's so weak and useless, sure he has a big smart brain but what's the point if he can't- no doesn't use it? He feels so shameful for feeling like this. He doesn't deserve to feel bad about himself. He has a aunt who cares about him even though she shouldn't. People who are willing to fake a friendship with him, even if they all hate him.

Some people have it worse than him. But he can't stop the thoughts in his mind. Useless he can't even control his own mind. Gross, disgusting, weird, horrible. Those things he thinks to himself on a daily basis.

One time he was going to tell aunt Cass how he felt about himself, but he never did. Something stopped him. He went down stairs and saw aunt Cass crying. Crying over Tadashi's death. So he never told her how he felt about it. He never got help. He couldn't bring himself to when she too is grieving over Tadashi's death. Not only him. Gross how he was so self centered. They all lost Tadashi not only Hiro. More guilt he felt after that.

Right. The team hates him because they think it to, 'It should have been him.'

PLEASE REVIEW to me if you liked this so I can post faster. Motivation ya know. Four reviews and I'll be satisfied. I'll probably still post the something after this if I finish it, but like way later.

Next chap will be the gang confronting Hiro. What happens? Bad or good? Do they even understand what Hiro is going threw?