Summary: She watches him from afar, afraid and not afraid. She wants to touch him, but her touch is cold and burning. So she stays away, with each adding second, her heart breaks further. But it is he who will heal her. It is he who will break. [YohXAnna angstfic]

Notes: Revamped. [July 23, 2004]

Disclaimer: Blah, blah, blah. Don't steal.

For Wusai darling [Wusai, the Dark Phantasy], even though she is a yaoi fangirl. I can't write yaoi, and I lurve Yoh/Anna so too bad. XP

Fleeting

Chapter 2

The rays of sunlight are dancing full on her face, urging her to awake from her sleep. One eye opens slowly, reluctantly, to blink at the bright light.

She props herself on her elbows with much difficulty, scratching on the tatami mats. Next to her, he is still sleeping, buried deep within the blankets. Some of his unruly black is uncovered and she stares and remembers the events of yesterday, shaking her head. She is so foolish, to allow her emotions to control her like they did yesterday.

Getting up, she moves to go to the kitchen, but instead, leans on the wall to glance back.

[]

She is sipping her tea when he comes in, rubbing his half-lidded eyes groggily. He is shirtless, but his headphones around his neck, but he smiles at her.

Her face is void of emotion and she says sternly, "Why weren't you up yet?"

Strangely, he doesn't seem upset, merely answers, "Because you didn't wake me up."

"Am I supposed to do everything for you?" she shoots quietly back with more vehemence than she intends.

It works though, for his confused expression slides back, and he gazes at her a bit thoughtfully, before turning and walking towards their room.

"Where are you going?" her words slice through the air, soft, but sharp.

He pauses, and she sees his back muscles tensing, before he turns around, smile in hand. "I forgot my shirt."

She never looks at him, but she nods, and he doesn't miss her somber, almost melancholy expression.

[]

She hears the door slide open, grating on the wood, but her head lays still on the arm of the couch, listening to the noise of running water as he washes the dishes.

"Yooohhhhhh…"

It's that voice again that she despises, but she can hear Yoh's cheerful reply. Then it's subdued, but her keen ears still hear, "Is Anna here?"

Yoh is apparently smarter than he looks, for the intense sound of rushing water muted his reply. It doesn't matter, for the spirits hovers around her, kissing, whispering in her ear. "She's here." A pause. "I don't know, but she's acting strange lately." Another pause.

She waits, but the spirits around her have vanished, and she sees Amidamarou floating in front of her, smiling in that same way Yoh always does. She understands then; Yoh knows she's listening.

She loves and hates him for it.

Amidamarou speaks, and though his smile is bright, his tone is sad, "It's not that Master Yoh doesn't want you to hear. It's more of a precaution. He cares for you, even though it seems as if he has no worries."

She doesn't reply, just closes her eyes, until she feels his presence withdraw.

She opens her eyes slightly, glistening with unshed tears.

[]

"Anna, I'm going out with Manta and them!" the shout rings through the house, and she looks up. "Anna?" his head pokes through the door, where she is sitting.

She can't bring herself to look at him. "Go ahead." There is a tremor in her voice.

As if on impulse, he goes to her side to give her a quick hug. "I'll be back soon."

She is too shocked to say anything, and sits gaping at the empty doorway. She quickly recovers though, and stands resolutely, but doesn't follow.

[]

She's reading the newspaper when he comes back, panting and of course, smiling. "Anna?" he spots her and adds, "Oh, there you are."

She inclines her head just enough so that he knows she's listening.

"Anna…?"

Now she looks up, eyes flinty.

"Can we talk?"

She congratulates herself on hiding her surprise completely, and bends her head back to the newspaper. The paper is suddenly gone from her hands, and his black eyes are staring into hers. "Please?"

She wonders what brings this sudden interest in her, why his usually laid back nature is gone, but she doesn't comment about it, just stares back, seemingly unmoved.

"I don't understand why you put up this façade," he sits next to her, gaze burning into her eyes, and she dares not look away.

She will not break, because she is Anna, because she is strong.

There is no such thing as strength…

Over and over, echoing in her head.

There is only weakness and those who can hide it.

Then what is Yoh?

He is startled; by what? She does not know, does not want to know.

There is only one thing for her to do. She stands and leaves and does not look back.

[]

The door is locked, and she can hear his frustration beyond the door. "Anna," he says, desperately, pleadingly. "Anna, please."

I can only do this for you. Only this, and nothing else.

She looks at her reflection, contemplating. Please. His voice haunts her ear, even when he isn't speaking. He sounds so desperate, so lost.

I cannot heal you. "Leave," she finally opens the door, only enough to fit her small, delicate frame. Go find someone who can give. I cannot.

To her surprise, he lunges at her, pushing them both into the room, landing on the neatly folded blankets. "What the hell…?" she mutters, reminded of the morning, when she is propping herself on the tatami mats. Instead, he is propped on his elbows on top of her, gazing earnestly at her.

"Anna, what is the matter with you?" he demands. "Why are you acting like this?"

She knows him, how to infuriate him, so she stays mute.

He sighs in exasperation, his breath blowing stray strands of hair out of her face. His breath is warm, and suddenly she is aware of his hips on top of hers, his warm smooth stomach pressed against hers. She notices that he is too, conscious of their closeness, and unbidden, her heart beats faster.

She is all too aware of his breath quickening, his eyes aglow with an emotion she did not want to take. An emotion she could not give. She tries to move, but she can't, she is frozen.

"Yoh," his name on her lips comes out as almost a sigh, and she can't say anymore, for his lips have captured her lips in his, gentle and hungry.

She presses back, her eyes fluttering close, forgetting for a moment the sacrifice she has made. It comes back to her though, in a flash as cold as ice, and she pulls back, "No."

He looks so confused, his voice cracking, "No?" He is startled to see the tears that spill from her eyes, the absolute despair in her expression. "Anna," he strokes her hair softly, carefully. "I'm sorry."

No, no, you don't understand, she wants to cry out. The words on her lips die, and she knows—it is too late. He is damned. They are all damned.

I wanted to save you, but I was too weak. So now, we're both broken.

The water that falls from her eyes doesn't stop. She cries for him, for her lost cause, and mostly for herself. She gives all she has left to him.

He touches her lips once more. "What's wrong?"

Everything. She is mute, though, and merely rests her head on his chest to feel his heartbeat.

[/tsuzuku]