Disclaimer: Not mine. And neither is any joke you could conceive for this disclaimer.

Warnings: moderate language, yet more retrospective text, many S3 spoilers.

Number: 7/7

Timeline: as per last chapter.

A/N: If anything, this sucks more fairy-floss than the last one. But at least it's done.
While I'm here, much thanks to Starway Man (B/X? You'd think so, wouldn't you?), and 'Guest' for their reviews. Pre-emptive thanks extended also to anyone kind enough to leave reviews/concrit for this, the last chapter of DD&D.

Defaced, Derailed and Divergent

Epilogue, pt.2: The Crimp

or,

The One With No Reference To Idiots Or The Phrase 'Meh' In The Title
(…y'know, apart from this one.)

—ox-oxo-xo—

Xander did notice the looks Buffy threw at him every so often on the drive home. And he did appreciate the gesture. He wasn't in the habit of cringing over that sort of disclosure nowadays, apart from the vague flicker of unease that bobbed up from the mire every so often and sunk with just as little notice. He didn't exactly advertise either, but that was mostly because Xander simply didn't see why he had to do it. Everyone had their issues, why bombard them with his for no good reason?

Faith had a decent enough reason to hear it, even if he couldn't be bothered up till now scratching up enough initiative to spill the beans. But more importantly, Buffy had a pretty good reason to tell it to Faith – he knew perfectly well, because Buffy had outright told him, what her main problem interacting with the newest Slayer was. This was an exercise in trust, and one that… honestly, it should have happened a while ago. Yet more over-protectiveness in action from his friends.

Probably he should have made more than an effort. (Though with Faith's general views on teenage guys, he'd had doubts about whether it would do any good.) But oh well, Buffy knew him well enough to make the picture clear for Faith to see. Even if what Faith saw boiled down to 'oh, so he's mostly nuts – yeah, I knew that already', Xander was fairly sure that would do the job. Trust had to be earned, but you had to start somewhere – and if nothing else, knowing Buffy so much better than he had even a year ago, he knew he could trust Buffy to do her best with this.

So Xander tried to drop a tinge of 'friendly' in his standard not-face (Buffy would pick it up, even if Faith didn't, and come to the correct conclusion that he more-or-less supported her in her tale – and also, wouldn't lay into him later for trying a Face, something she tended to get huffy about now), drove and made no comment. Court was in session, and he wasn't in the mood to mess with the verdict.

There was indeed a next talk, a little over a week later – this one timed for Xander's schedule. That time covered more recent Angel-feelings (ironically the reason she'd initially approached him in the first place), the mental and emotional differences between the Soldier and Hyena possessions, Buffy's cousin Celia, the mummy 'Ampata', and touched lightly on a few more sensitive areas.

The third one was the really big one… and honestly, it should've been a lot more awkward than it turned out in the end. After the second time, it occurred to Buffy that for some of the first round and most of the second round, she'd been sitting next to him on his bed… which felt wrong to her when she thought about it later, but had seemed perfectly natural and even beneath notice at the time. And so far they hadn't really covered anything about romantic feelings (or non-feelings, for that matter) between each other. So the third one was held on the back patio, the pair side by side but in separate chairs with a little table dividing them. And in that one they finally had The Talk.

Well, kinda.

…Good thing: the previous two D&M's had set the tone. Mom or Giles would've called it 'talking it out like rational adults'. Buffy thought the key to it was that they weren't really asking questions so much as sharing secrets – and the trick was, they'd started with sharing some big painful ones, and already got some of the awkwardness over with. That, and they either told the truth or they didn't say anything – though, if one of them needed to take a couple minutes to find the words or actually reason out where they were going, then they were free to do it and the other one had to wait. (Granted, Xander was far better at that than she was. But he'd already proven himself willing to do it, and the mood did help her with that.) This time, like the first time, Xander had figured the topic on Buffy's mind – about the time she led him over to the chairs, if she had to guess – and opened first.

"I said it once before – you either feel something, or you don't. Then again… well, Cordelia. So just 'cause you don't, doesn't mean you won't. But, just 'cause you do, doesn't mean you will."

"…Did…that actually mean anything?" Buffy gave him an old-fashioned look. "Like, at all?"

Xander snorted. "Okay, how about this? Not Under Your Mom's Roof."

Buffy considered that… and had to chuckle – and then smile with relief.

Xander had a point. In fact he had two. The first was, things might change between them later (though she wasn't about to contemplate even the possibility of that, she was still with Angel and would be for as long as she could manage it) – but that was for later. And the second was just common-sense. Taken together, it was a clear statement: Any questions about him still feeling that way about her? No point even asking for the next year, at least. The topic was On Hold until further notice.

…Which still left the early days to go over, since she'd gone to all the trouble to gee herself up to go there at least once. So they did, in the by-now traditional fashion…mostly. Though Buffy did find out that even if he didn't react otherwise, she could still make him blush hard enough to practically do away with the porch-light. It wasn't something that she could just do to him whenever she felt like it, not with the…personal nature of what she'd had to spill to get that reaction, but the victory was hers nonetheless – and more importantly: while it wasn't something they'd be bringing up again (even at the best of times they weren't that comfortable round each other), it hadn't caused the D&M to go off the rails either.

No, she honestly hadn't considered him initially, at least not in any serious sense – first impressions tended to last, and by the time it started looking like she'd be hanging around him on a frequent basis, Willow had already planted the "No Trespassing!" signs in plain sight anyway. No way she was going to blow off her first Sunnydale friend worth the title by poaching her territory, even if she was interested…which she wasn't. Though conversely, it couldn't be said that there had never been attraction there… as Xander's opener had demonstrated (one word: Hyena), which led to the aforementioned round of blushing.

That embarrassing and uncomfortable trade of dirty secrets aside, they got back down to the serious stuff. For Buffy, she mostly concentrated on Angel: the early days. The showstopper on Xander's end was that when he'd asked her out in junior year, he hadn't been all that worried about losing her friendship, because – and this was the shocking bit – he'd honestly thought she didn't think of him as a friend!

Buffy stared at him with mounting horror as her best male friend laid out the way he'd seen it. The emotional distance kept at all times. The casual yet firm way she'd designated him as 'one of the girls'. And, most importantly, the way she constantly encouraged Willow to try her luck, and tried to get Xander interested in Willow in return. From what Xander had seen, boys in Buffy's world came in three— no, four flavours: those she was interested in, those who were already claimed, those who were bad and/or Slayer-specific news, and all the rest. His argument of the time was, simply, that Buffy had no real idea how to be actual friends with a guy who wasn't already in one of the first two categories – three if you included Angel back when he was just Random Mystery Guy.

Xander then paused, gauged the look on her face, and added that all this wasn't anything unusual. As a general rule, girls and boys just weren't friends once they started hitting puberty – if they weren't 'interested', then they weren't interested. Xander had lucked out that way, because he had Willow as a best friend and she had two boys as best friends – and even Willow, he just classified into her own special category, which could be called something like 'favourite (honorary) family member'… By this time Xander's (slightly hurried) flow of words had given Buffy the mental space to stop, catch her cool and actually think about what Xander was saying.

That was her next secret, then: that if she went by the definition that Xander was using, she'd never had any friends at all.

By her definition, Buffy had plenty of friends back in elementary, in junior high, at Hemery High… granted, not particularly close friends, but still friends. By her definition, Xander had been a friend back then, even a fairly close one. Okay, an annoying, awkward boy with mild stalker tendencies. But still, a good and refreshingly trustworthy friend. Though it was hard being close friends with boys without getting that kind of close, she'd give him that much.

What Xander called 'friend'… when Buffy thought of that, what she'd call it was 'family'. Which explained a lot about why Xander was willing to go to such reckless lengths for his friends. There was a good reason Angelus had never directly threatened Mom – if he had, she was pretty sure the gloves would've come off right about then.

On a related topic: Xander, Willow, Giles? Family. No doubt. And the look on his face when she told him that? The real, bright smile when he believed her, maybe the first one she'd ever seen from him? The memory of that smile had her grinning like an idiot for days.

The Talk: sweet, satisfying success.

—ox-oxo-xo—

The fourth talk came as senior year started, and also after an argument with Willow that she probably should've seen coming. Having thrice had very good 'getting to actually know you' talks with Xander, and maybe got a bit carried away with the resunding victory of the latest one, Buffy mentioned the talks to the others. Not the details, never the details – they were private, as private to her as they were to him, and it could not be a good idea to hack off the guy she'd just given all those emotional knives to. But still, Xander had shown that he was willing to talk like that. So if the others wanted to try their luck, didn't they have the right?

It actually turned out, Mom was way ahead of her – after the head start she'd gained in the hospital, Mom had spent months getting him to open up and talk things over. And more, once the holidays started Xander had begun returning the favour, getting her to tell him things about her marriage that Buffy had never even contemplated. There was a reason why Xander was so good at this, and it wasn't just because the new Xander was naturally inclined to be that skilled in that kind of conversation.

Meanwhile, Giles had been performing a more understated version, which was probably the best he could be expected to do what with being Repressed English Guy and all. The school librarian had compared it to something about Shakespeare, and how if his characters had just sat down and hammered everything straight then his scripts would have been much shorter. Oz wished her the best of luck, but explained that he and Xander weren't particularly close and didn't really want to be. (Actually, what Oz said was more like 'we fit best in the pauses', which she took to mean the amused/disbelieving looks they would occasionally trade when everyone else was excited and they thought no-one was watching.) Jon and Amy, on the other hand, preferred the light-hearted nerd-banter they'd had with Xander and Willow back before all this – less potential for embarrassment.

Willow, though… Yeah, she got offended. Way offended. As far as Willow was concerned, there was just no way that a handful of hours, three short evenings could match up against knowing Xander for over a decade. So the fourth Deep and Meaningful Conversation was about Willow. After all – Willow was lodged so deep into Xander's heart that she had to be covered in juicy detail at some point anyway.

This one was mostly Xander's show. First off, he had to explain the whole Faces thing again – needless to say, not being high on pain meds this time helped of the total variety. Then, after listening to her retelling of Willow's reaction, Xander sighed.

According to him, part of the problem with Willow was that even though she might remember the Faces game now, she'd still had it trained into her for the past decade never to ask, because he didn't want to talk about it. It was a boy-thing, apparently, to which he'd decided D&M's were a recent exception because it wasn't so much about trying to fix stuff now as saving up to actually fix stuff later…or something incomprehensibly boyish – 'don't whine about your problems unless you're looking for solutions', he said like it was a quote. He even mentioned something about it being in the Guy Code, or possibly the Man Code (she didn't really get the difference, and hadn't asked).

Another part of the problem with Willow was…well, simply that Will was smarter than everyone she knew – which translated to her almost always being right, unless she hadn't yet learned enough about whatever it was.

"Great in the classroom, where there's always a right answer…" he trailed off.

"…Not so much the social," she finished. Nowhere near being a natural klutz when it came to this kind of thing, Buffy caught the rest very quickly. "But once she's sure of where to go…"

Case in point: Xander. Willow was the card-carrying expert on all things Xander, Xander was her territory, trespassers would be pitied and/or ridiculed. Challenging Willow on just about anything Xander was like challenging Cordelia on her fashion sense: you might well be right – didn't mean she'd ever admit it. And if she ever broke out the Resolve Face, it was like trying to change a wall's mind.

The other part of the problem was much less obvious until Xander explained it, and went back to the Faces: Willow had seen all his Faces, or at least all the ones in their games or in public. She'd seen his Serious-Face, she'd seen his Angry-Face, she'd even seen his Brood-Face. (At which point Buffy just had to ask him to do his Brood-Face. And then just had to fall over laughing at the pout Xander pointed at her, and re-dub it 'Pouty-Face'…until Xander actually showed her his Pouty-Face and she fell off the bed again.) Put together all the Faces, add the little boy from back before he started wearing the Faces, throw in what she knew or could guess about his home life, sync it all up with her exhaustively compiled list of Xander's body-cues… and what she got was what she thought Xander was.

Which it was…except the bits she'd missed because a Face was never used in public. Or the bits he'd projected louder and more insistently than others. Or the bits she'd got used to repressing because they didn't fit her preconceptions – especially the bit where he was only oblivious most of the time, and had a functioning memory even when he chose not to show it off. Or the bits where her projections were off simply because they were outside of her Face-minus experience.

In summary: Willow assumed that with everything she knew, and with everything she could work out from that, she basically knew Xander better than he did – because it wasn't like he was ever denying it, right? Cue the absolute blindsiding when he went and did something completely different – like Cordelia.

Buffy blinked. "Did you…?"

"No," he said flatly.

She smirked, awarding two points to the way he'd set her up, but taking one away for her spotting it. Xander's sense of humour was still there, just less obvious.

It just never occurred to Willow any more that there were things he needed to tell her about him for her to know them. Like the fact that he had got just a little jealous when Willow had started going out with Oz. Like the fact that he was fully aware that Willow was a girl, and had been for years. What was stopping him was that… (Xander had to stop and think to find the right words, for nearly five minutes this time.) …compared to how he'd always felt about Willow, romance on top of that just felt…trivial. And applying Xander's standard-type teenage male views on sex to Willow was only ever going to cheapen her in his eyes – which was why he took care never to do it.

Nearly a year back, Xander had told Buffy that he didn't think of his best friend like that – and back then, she'd been more than a little sceptical. Now though, hearing the totality of he'd actually meant with that cliché-like phrase…? Now she believed it. It was 'not wanting to ruin the friendship', only squared.

When Buffy had first started talking with Xander like this, it took a few things to make it all work. One was to really listen to what Xander was saying (which was pretty hard for someone used to half-listening to prune out the random stuff that popped up). Another was to mean exactly what she said in return (which was also hard, simply because she wasn't used to doing that with anybody). It helped a lot at first that Xander was constantly surprising her with just how good he was at picking the right words; it helped even more that he had a great sense of how far (or sometimes, how recent) she was willing to go. Buffy had picked up the routine for this pretty quick – which was no shock, she hadn't been Queen Bitch at Hemery for being slow on the uptake when it came to trading words. As such, keeping pace and directing the flow of things where she wanted them was easy – and the effort she'd had to go through sometimes to keep quiet and let him finish had paid off beyond her wildest expectations.

There hadn't been any big mix-ups, and the medium-sized ones had been straightened out with a bit of patient translating (at least after the reflexive stammering and/or backpedalling was gotten over with). There hadn't been any blow-ups either, which was amazing considering the sheer scale of what they'd gone over. She now felt more comfortable around Xander after four good talks than she'd felt around anyone except her parents, which was really amazing after the third talk. And it was all based on mutual trust in what the other one was saying being the truth as they saw it, with all the hurtful little barbs and sweet misdirections left to the side, and a willingness to hear it out and at least try to understand it.

And it was tragic, because for the life of her she just didn't see how Willow could do that with Xander. There was just too much history, too many unquestioned assumptions, too many implicit rules that Willow wouldn't get if they weren't stated outright (and never mind that listing what rules there were made it sound like a party game more than sometime so profound as it could be). Willow would try to guess each secret, and fill the silences with nervous babble, and get frustrated when she heard something that didn't fit her mental picture of him, and take things the wrong way and there was just no way she wouldn't explode at him or outright flee sooner or later. And expecting Xander to accommodate her any further than he already was, was like asking him to put the Face back on and keep it there. Inevitably, something would give and it would all fall down.

At first almost by accident and then with increasing confidence, Buffy had made the choice to get to truly know Xander. Whatever happened now, however long it took to get Xander better, Buffy could at least bask in the assurance that she'd made the right choice and found a guy who had earned the 'best friend' position hands-down even if he was a guy. Not to mention, a friend who had left her valuing his brand of friendship in a way that her pre-Slayer self could never have even begun to comprehend, let alone appreciate.

Willow had the same choice when it came to helping Xander get better: try to bring back the Xander she knew, or try to explore and develop the Xander he was now. And Xander's most long-standing, most revered friend – had picked the Face in every way but the official. Now while Willow could definitely be counted on to support the 'get Xander better' theme, it was going to be almost impossible for Willow to actually help do that.

And worst of all: Xander knew it.

Not that he was particularly worried, from what Buffy could tell. Xander knew Willow much the same way Willow knew Xander, and spoke of it in terms of obsessions – and Willow had two new ones now, Oz and magic. He figured Willow would wise up eventually, once the shiny newness had worn away a bit and she resurfaced to see what she'd missed. And anyway, they'd been friends since they were little kids – he could wait till that happened.

Then a few days later, that whole thing with the mask from the gallery happened, and Faith turned up with Kakistos following behind. The Slay was back in session, and Buffy buried her private, unnamed misgivings over just how Willow would actually react between the 'catching up' and the 'wising up' parts, and got back to work.

—ox-oxo-xo—

From then on, the long and involved talks she'd had with Xander hit a different gear. Simply put, they'd spilled most of the big secrets they could think of off the top of their heads – and now, much more secure with her position re. Xander, Buffy had come up with a mental list of questions she wanted some deeper answers to out of her new and honest Xander-friend. Besides, there was less time for long and drawn-out D&M's now. The quid pro quo was kept, though – if she wanted those answers, she had to be prepared to cough up some herself.

And Xander did have questions of his own – so answers she got, and answers she gave, though they both still carefully sidestepped the whole 'Buffy and Xander' possible future Thing. And their friendship grew even stronger. Ever since they'd first started really talking, the atmosphere of their private D&M's had really stood out against the light, kinda-distant way they acted with each other normally and in public. Now, though? Now they might be doing homework or eating and a question might come up, so a middle ground between the two contrasts had to be found that they could use more often.

So, not only did their friendship grow stronger, but it quickly grew more obvious to the others.

Not that it was a bad thing, mostly. No, there were actually some pretty big benefits.

For starters, there was Angel. No surprise, her boyfriend got jealous when he visited (and also investigated for real, in the wake of Kakistos' demise and Trick's escape). But if anything the double-centenarian could be patient when he knew he had to be, so when she hit upon the idea of taking a few minutes to stop and really think about how to explain her new closeness to Xander, Angel did (uncomfortably) wait, and then listen… and understand, or close enough. Close enough, at least, to be convinced to try the same thing with her. It was a work in progress and would be for a long time (Angel, after all, had a great many skeletons in his closet), but soon Angel was a closer friend than he'd ever been.

And that was a very good thing, in Buffy's opinion. If they didn't work out in the end, then she really did still want to be friends with Angel – and now she had a much better grip on what 'friend' really meant when it came to the kind of friendship that would survive the fallout of a break-up.

This was her first really serious romance, after all. And Buffy didn't want to face the possibility of being left with nothing but pain, regrets and the loss of her virginity afterwards.

Then there was her mom. A couple days after her first fledgling Talk with Angel, Buffy had slipped and asked Xander an embarrassingly personal question (though, thank god, not that kind of embarrassingly personal) as Mom was walking in to call them to dinner – only for Xander to answer without a trace of hesitation or even a cursory glance at Mom. And then fire off a return question at Buffy only minutes later as the three of them ate. And, while Buffy blushed and stuttered and Mom did her level best not to gape at the pair of them, simply sit there waiting with every sign of confidence in expecting a straight answer like the one he'd just given her.

Later, Buffy was just glad she somehow hadn't got defensive, or suspicious that Xander had been spilling her secrets to Mom behind her back. Because in the end, with a few moments to stop and collect herself and start again, she looked up, and saw the hidden entreaty in Xander's patient gaze to trust him, and answered the question. The result was Mom asking a couple more questions – general ones, about why they were asking each other those sorts of things, which Xander fielded at the start but Buffy joined in explaining as she recognised the emotions that Joyce Summers was exhibiting more and more as they went on.

Buffy saw approval, and pride – and something that she craved more than that from her mother: a air of equality. An understanding that they were all grown-ups here, talking about things and exploring their friendships and differences like grown-ups did. Trust given for trust received, and Mom was showing that she was more and more willing to trust her to act like a grown-up, to think things through and make the right calls.

Needless to say, the seventeen-year-old Buffy was very pleased with that outcome, and made a point of talking things over more often with Xander and Mom at the same time as a way to keep that trend rolling. Though, not the parent-sex thing, or the Buffy-sex thing. Her 'oh god kill me now' tolerance levels of embarrassment did have their limits, and she treasured those limits.

As well as Angel and Mom, having hit on what looked to be a versatile conversational tool – kinda like lockpicks, actually – Buffy also started talking in more depth with Giles and Ms. Calender – and on one memorable occasion, with Cordelia of all people (though the assassin squads courtesy of Trick probably had something to do with that happening, not to mention being trapped in a limo with her). She wasn't game to try it on everyone, though. Oz wasn't a guy to talk about that kind of thing, Amy was Willow's friend more than hers, Jonathan was too nervous around girls. And Scott Hope – another one roped into the supernatural grapevine by Xander, after Buffy saved him from his best friend Pete, a.k.a. Jekyll-and-Hyde – was too new, too far from the business end of the Slaying (being smart enough to go the Cordelia-route and stick to strictly reporting possible evil shenanigans as he happened to spot them, as opposed to researching like Jonathan or, occasionally, Amy's magic-using friend Michael Czajak), and…honestly, too hunky for Buffy's own good while she was involved with someone else.

With Willow… Being a little more observant about her best female friend, and a little more willing to acknowledge her friend's flaws (in private, at least), Buffy found that it didn't work that well. Willow was prone to motormouth and information overload and shyness, this they all knew – but Buffy quickly realised that Willow was just as prone to using those things to protect her emotional flanks, the same way that Xander had used his Faces, or Giles used his Britishness, or Oz his Zen, or Cordelia her bitchiness, or Angel his reserve. The problem was, while Willow would eagerly listen to what Buffy said, and even get a thrill out of being regarded as such a close confidant, those little habits constantly cropped up and derailed the whole flow of what Buffy was trying to manage. Worse, Willow was tightly-strung, surprisingly secretive sometimes, and generally unwilling to trade secrets or answers in kind unless she wanted to tell Buffy for whatever reason.

Telling her what she did with Oz, or even what she fantasised about doing with Oz? Part wanting to brag, part wanting advice. (For that matter, telling her about her thing for Xander, back when they first met? Part damage control after Buffy twigged first, part staking of territory, part wanting advice.) Telling her about her parents? Well, at least that proved Willow was actually trying.

But. Talking about Jesse? That just made her sad, and she'd really rather sit there looking like a kicked puppy until Buffy gave up and moved on. Talking about Xander, and any crushy feelings that might remain? Cue the panicked denials! Buffy would keep trying, but like Angel, Willow was going to be a long-term project.

Faith…Faith was the tricky one. Tricky enough that her next actual Talk with Xander mostly involved her.

Faith was fun and all, but the fact remained that she and Faith were very different people on the social side of things and they'd probably have nothing at all to do with each other if they weren't both Slayers. This wasn't like Kendra either – with the benefit of hindsight and wisdom, Kendra was just really, really closeted. If Kendra had hung around, she would have become one of Buffy's pet projects. For that matter, if Buffy was normal and acted like she was still at Hemery, and Kendra had saved her from a vampire, Buffy liked to imagine that she'd do the same thing as a sign of gratitude. (Assuming that she didn't fall prey to Sunnydale Syndrome first, anyway…) Fashion emergency, acting out the makeover trope, it was the sort of thing that would've appealed to her back then.

Faith, though? All her social queen senses screamed 'Massive skanky slut! Social plague walking! Keep away! and keep your man away too! …But maybe put your enemies' boyfriends in her path and enjoy the carnage!' and it was pretty hard to put that aside when Faith didn't go to school or have much to do with the others apart from patrols. Faith acted like she was what Shelley from the parent-teacher interviews last year wanted to be, she was the stereotypical badass bad girl.

In short: Buffy simply had no idea where to begin, and had problems trusting her a lot of the time. And where Buffy went, the others followed, or at least went in the same general direction.

Giles basically did the best he could and held out for a replacement Watcher to get there. Though after Gwendolyn Post, he was now holding out for a non-evil replacement Watcher, one who was hopefully not incompetent. One of Giles' problems, her Watcher confided to her, was that he was set up in a highly advantageous position to be a Watcher to a student Slayer; obviously, that didn't work out so well with one who wasn't.

Willow's first impression of Faith was…unhelpful, especially with what she said about Faith before even speaking a word to her – and from there it got worse. Faith and Willow were at odds from the start, for straightforward reasons – interest in Buffy as the more experienced Slayer, interest in Xander because she'd heard a lot about him from her first Watcher, and potential interest in Oz as the one who had most in common with her socially apart from Buffy. Which was ironic, because Oz had almost nothing to do with her, knowing exactly which side of the fence he was supposed to be on.

Neither did Amy, just for lack of common ground, though Ms. Calender got on with her fairly well the rare times they did run into each other. Faith and Cordelia had a straight hate-hate relationship. Jonathan, Scott and Michael had only been pointed out to her in passing. Angel avoided her on general principle, having had bad experiences with gung-ho Slayers.

And Xander? Well, he just treated her like he did everyone else – in other words, he left it alone unless and until she made the first move. Which…she did, but as it turned out, Faith didn't have much of an idea of how to interact with guys she wasn't making moves on either. The old Xander would probably have funned along and let his teenage hormones out to play – with the new Xander, Faith mainly traded speculation about weapons and tactics and if/when they might work. About the most Xander had done was convince Giles to shell out for a cellphone, and that was mostly so she could call in or be called in when the need was there.

The biggest problem with Faith, though? Over-protective instincts. Oz and Xander didn't say much, Amy and the newbies didn't know much, and everyone else basically closed ranks whenever one of the others was asked about and things got too personal. It wasn't even a conscious thing a lot of the time, it was just…well, not her business. Before her time. Too complicated to explain. And Faith herself was not big on talking about her own past, if it didn't involve things like wrestling naked with alligators or whatever.

It wasn't that Buffy didn't try. She'd tried talking about Angel – Faith had been unimpressed, but willing to live and let 'live'…or whatever the word was. She'd tried talking about Merrick – which was a start, if nothing else. But it was too soon for Faith to talk about Linda, and when she wasn't embroiled in the others' everyday lives, everything else just seemed to leave her cold. She hoped Mom was a little luckier, Faith and Mom did have the opportunity for some privacy sometimes – but like Willow and Angel, Faith was most definitely a long-term project.

Besides – Slaying season was back in, and so was senior year of high school, and all the headaches that came with the Hellmouth brand of 'business as usual'.

There was Trick, who was seemingly doing his best to take over the town – though sometimes it almost seemed like he'd found someone else to work for – and sending to his old pals in the East for a string of reinforcements. There was Ethan Rayne, who popped back up with mind-altering drugs of the chocolate kind…and wasn't that all kinds of sacrilege? If there was a god in heaven, Ethan would be burning in hell for making Giles and Ms. Calender have a threesome with her mother on the hood of a patrol car – and that didn't even take Teen Snyder into account, or the…odd way that Xander had acted for days after that episode.

(That turned out to be the chocolate too – it wasn't that the immaturity-causing additive didn't work on teenagers, it was just less obvious on most of them. Buffy had kinda-sorta tried to scold him about that…except, it was chocolate, so she could definitely relate.

Afterwards, he still kinda acted odd – but that was more 'cause he hit on the idea of pulling his Faces of old for just long enough to reassure Willow and give clues to everyone else about his reactions. It was sort of like the way Oz acted if he kept slipping in the first couple of seconds.)

There were the Gorches, who made themselves a nuisance for a while. There was Angel dropping in on occasion, and their increasingly futile efforts at keeping their relationship going.

Meanwhile Angel had his own things in L.A. to deal with. Angel Investigations had got off the ground with little fuss at first, and had even hired a certain ex-Sunnydale ex-goth by the name of Lily (or as Buffy first met her, 'Chanterelle') in a secretarial role. But of course the headaches soon rolled in, which was fair enough given that Angel was now being paid to solve said headaches. Apparently Doyle was sounding out his ex-wife about being a dedicated researcher; if she wouldn't do it, then Angel was planning to sound out Ms. Calender next.

There was Willow and Amy and sometimes Michael tucking themselves away to talk magic shop (or Magic Shoppe – apparently Sunnydale actually had one of those), and Giles and Ms. Calender trying to keep track of what they were doing while working through the teething problems created by Jonathan and Willow's compiled list of dead-and/or-missing persons. There was Xander's birthday – and seriously, how the hell had everybody managed to nearly miss that? If Mom hadn't passed the word on a few days beforehand, would anyone have even noticed? There was a freak snowstorm on Christmas morning, which was being logged as a portent for some not-quite-random apocalypse. There was some two-in-one demon that almost got her, Willow, Amy and Ms. Calender burnt at the stake. (And boy, did Faith enjoy that one…not to mention Michael, who got to save the day that time.)

There was that backstabbing Council bitch Post. Not that she was all that much worse than the actual Council control-freaks, dropping in to ruin Buffy's birthday by attempting to kidnap her mother. (Though brownie-points to Giles, for at least quietly tipping off Xander and Jonathan as to what he was being forced to do beforehand. Pity about him being fired…) There was Xander, chafing more than was immediately obvious from being sequestered from the violence after saving Mom, and Mom hovering protectively and not helping at all. Maybe inevitably, there was the Break-Up with Angel in the new year, after an…interesting conversation with Scott at the New Years' party that Angel had been too busy with L.A. business to get to. And most recently there was the Sisterhood of Jhe coming out of nowhere, and trying to force the Hellmouth open.

So, yeah… There was only so much time she could spare to worry about Faith and her refusal to open up to her and the others. It wouldn't do any harm, waiting for things to calm down before reading her into things properly. She was strong, she'd be fine till then.

Right…?

—ox-oxo-xo—

…On second thoughts, one nearly-apocalyptic night later, maybe that wasn't fair to her. Trust given for trust received, sure – but first, trust for truth. And someone had to make the first move…

They finally got to the Summers' place, where a tired Mrs. Summers actually did freak a little between smothering them all with hugs and berating her daughter about not saying enough about the danger they'd put themselves in. (Though not Xander, strangely enough – heh, seemed Xander had just gone ahead and told her anyway…) And then sat down with them as they sprawled out on the couch, pausing only long enough to break out a big pile of snack foods. Damn B's mom was awesome…and not just for the food, either – getting up the nerve to explain the Hungry'n'Horny to her hadn't been easy, but at least she could always count on Joyce Summers to satisfy one H if she ever needed it. And even if the Big H had mostly done the job (that H being the Hard Win – hell yeah!), she sure as hell wouldn't be turning down the chance to take care of another H when it was dropped on the coffee table in front of her.

But Buffy… It was like the floodgates had been let loose earlier, because there she was now running over just about everything that had happened before Faith got there, with no punches pulled and a severe shortage of tact. And her mom chiming in with some of the more embarrassing stories, just to top it off.

There was some interesting shit in there, make no mistake. B staying two months in a psych ward – yeah, that was a bit of a shocker. Red being seduced by a demon trapped in a robot was hysterical, at least until Mrs. S mentioned being seduced by a drug-happy android serial killer – though if anything that made Xander being seduced by an eight-foot-long preying mantis even funnier. (And it was weird watching his face when that came up, too – especially the way he looked mortified for all of two seconds until an inner switch flipped and his face twitched back to factory standard. And the same reaction happened when the thing with the hyena possession and the desk came up. And the thing with the Incan mummy. And the thing with Cordelia. And okay, ouch – with all that shit, it was no wonder it was looking like he'd decided to opt out of getting any…well, any.) And there was some cool stuff in there – robots and rocket launchers and invisible girls and body-switching mothers and mutant-making coaches and little comatose boys warping reality and Frankenstein-wannabes chop-shopping dead chicks for their zombie bro's and demon-hunters that could pass for Pinocchio. Hearing it, it was like comic books and horror movies coming to life and trying to kill you every other week.

That said, a lot of it was just stupid high-school drama, just with the supernatural to make it dangerous. Not that some of what Buffy came out with wasn't good to know. That Ms. Calender was basically Angel's Highlander-style Watcher and Giles had played with demon-summoning as a young hood was at least interesting, and she guessed it was kinda nice how they'd got past that with working over Angel's soul curse – but really, those two had the right idea: none of your damn business.

(At least, not until what you left out came back to bite everyone in the ass – Giles with Eyghon, Ms. C with the curse, hell, Faith with Kakistos… Which, really, was what Buffy was driving at with this whole thing. Which in turn was part of why Faith didn't cut her off.

…And also, watching Buffy's face when Mrs. Summers mentioned having chocolatey threeway fun with Giles and Ms. Calender on the hood of a cop-car? Fuckin' priceless.)

The fact that a lot of Angel and Buffy getting together from the start had to do with Willow egging them on and giving Angel the odd bit of advice, meant nothing to her. Nor did the thing about Willow mostly doing that to make sure that Buffy didn't hook up with Xander, despite the lack of interest she'd shown him from pretty much the beginning – though it did help to explain why Willow was still sighing over the star-crossed romance of it all, even weeks after B'd broken it off with her room-temperature boytoy.

Personally, Faith thought it was mainly that she didn't want to admit she'd been wrong to hook them up in the first place… Until Buffy explained that Willow's call of 'dibs' – the one that she'd nursed for years, and never tried to actually exercise – was also a lot of the reason why Willow was so hostile to Faith.

As far as Willow was concerned, and as much as she refused to admit it even to herself let alone anyone else, the 'dibs' was still being held in reserve. Faith had been interested in meeting both X and B. Willow had picked up on that, and had got her hackles up over the interloper's invasion of her turf. Random chick comes in, gunning for info about the three people closest to her? Yeah, her and Red were doomed from the start.

Throw a couple more friends and a bunch of magic books on top of that? Bad news in the offing – if it wasn't here already. Giles had told Buffy and Mrs. S round the time of that Hansel'n'Gretel ripoff rearing its ugly head about having to have Words with Red and Amy, give them the warning about playing with mind magics, especially when it came to their friends.

As Buffy finally showed signs of running to a fuckin' stop, Faith tallied up the lessons she'd just learned.

Lesson One: screw Willow Rosenberg. Or maybe have Oz screw Willow, Red could use it. At least she could count on B, X and the oldies keeping their eyes peeled on her – nobody sane wanted Slayers being screwed in the head even worse than what came naturally with the territory. (And maybe chat with Amy Madison sometime – no bad blood or anything between them, and she could use someone who didn't mind screwing over authority-types…and maybe keeping an eye on Red.)
Lesson One-A: don't screw Daniel Osbourne. He was cool, and she didn't have much to do with him anyway.

Lesson Two: screw Jonathan Levinson…maybe literally, the poor bastard could definitely use it. Faith didn't have much use for researchers personally, but she'd had to do enough of it to respect the fact that Slayers needed Watchers for that kinda thing – and more eyes on the books was a good thing, as long as they had their heads in the game. ('Sides, she'd heard good things about imaginative geeks in the sack. Why not test that out? And hey, she'd just heard about that she-mantis – didn't bad shit happen to virgins?)

Lesson Three: screw Scott Hope – or at least pretend to, B was pretty sure he was a closet gay guy. Faith didn't mind gay guys, that just meant more for her and she could screw and/or string along his buddies and she could point guys who didn't swing her way in his direction (and maybe vice versa, if she was in the mood). Though he was in on her other brand of night-life too, so best talk it out with the guy first rather than alienate one of the people feeding her info on where her job was at.

Lesson Four: screw Cordelia Chase. Not that she hadn't got the memo already.

Lesson Five: screw Rupert Giles, he was always going to be on Buffy's side. She'd just have to break her next Watcher in, make sure they were hers. Neither Faith or Buffy were under any illusion as to who B's Watcher still was, even if he wasn't getting paid for it. That and… Faith was pretty sure G still didn't know where she was crashing.
Lesson Five-A: don't ever screw Ms. Calender or Angel. Ms. C had a job to do, and she could respect that. And so long as Buffy wasn't chilling the fuck out with a cold one (heh, more punny!), screwing with the extra heavy-hitter was just stupid.

Lesson Six: B's cool, remember that – however ditzy she is or who she's friends with. It was too damn easy to underestimate Buffy Summers, the airheaded bottle-blonde Valley Girl who spent over a year making time with her mortal enemy and still spent just as much time angsting over high-school as following her calling. Times like this, though? Yeah, it was pretty naïve of her to spill this much dirt – but it was for the mission, and she could definitely respect that. And…

Honestly, okay – she'd had a picture in her mind of what it'd be like, hanging with the Big Slayer Sister, the chick who'd taken out some of the biggest demonic names on the West Coast. Reality was nothing on that, B was nothing like she'd imagined, but – and here was the important bit – at least the ditz was trying. And, actually, doing a pretty good job at it. Coming out with that much dirt? Little late, woulda been nice to have it from the get-go, but all that was still worth a lot of bank for the new girl who had to work with these chuckleheads. It was nice to finally see some trust round here.

And on that topic, Lesson Six-A: B's mom, as previously stated many times, is fuckin' awesome. It was worth not antagonising Buffy too much just to keep having an in with Joyce Summers. Free meal, free ear – what wasn't to like?

And wrapping up the tally, Lesson Seven: Alexander Harris… The jury was still out on that one, he hadn't said much either way – except when it came to the mission, 'cause him and Mrs. S were the hardcore believers. If they had their way, Buffy and Faith would be kicking back sixty years later watching their great-grandkids paint the nursing home red, then beating the crap out of the orderlies when they tried reining the little hellions back in line…

Faith blinked. For some reason, she could almost see it actually happening… Hang on, Xander was saying something for once, and staring at her as he said it.

"…Faith. You ever try leech-proofing an abandoned house?"

"Huh?" Okay, where the hell was this coming from?

"That's a no, right? Your… Linda, never told you? We know about de-invitation rituals, but Giles never said anything either." Xander thought for a moment. "We'll ask him today, then."

"Er, what's up Xand?" Buffy asked, glancing sidelong at him. Seemed B was just as lost as she was.

"Well…you've only lived here a couple years. What do you know about the Sunnydale Motor Lodge?"

'…And there it is,' Faith thought. Only Buffy and Angel had actually seen where she was crashing, until Xander had dropped her off there.

Buffy rattled off the general area, then added, "Looked pretty basic, I guess." She paused. "Why, what's wrong with it?"

"Apart from, it's the cheapest, grungiest flophouse on the motel strip? How about the disappearances?"

"What?" Faith, Buffy and Joyce chorused.

"Yeah. It's not exactly a hotspot per se, but that whole strip's a pretty popular hunting ground for vamps. It pops up a lot in Jonno and Will's dead-and/or-missing program." He snorted. "Though, not so much since Faith moved in there, I bet. How many times have you had vamps getting in your room?"

"Few times, early on. They know better now," Faith told him with a nonchalant shrug. Buffy and Joyce stared at her, horrified. "What? It's close to work."

Xander snorted again at her sally, followed a moment by Buffy. "Close to work? It is work. You're sleeping on your jobsite." Xander continued for the others' benefit, "Look, it's simple: vampires can't enter homes uninvited – but motel rooms aren't homes. Giles told me that one when I asked about all the disappearances round there."

"Hey, not like I spend much time there. I mostly crash there in daytime anyway," Faith protested.

"Okay. Still though – why shell out your hard-earned dough when you can clean out a lair, vamp-proof the place and squat there? Or… wait a minute. Angel had an apartment. Is he still using it?"

Faith perked up. Now there was a thought— a thought that Buffy interrupted as she sat up from her slouch on the couch. "Mom, could we…?"

Joyce hmm'ed. "I think we'll need to speak with Mr. Giles' lawyer first. We've only just finished dealing with Child Services after all, and I can't imagine Faith had written permission to go haring across the country."

"Actually—" She kinda did, it was one more of Linda's back-up plans. The slip was actually still in her wallet, which was one of the few things she'd managed to keep a hold of from Boston. Not that the others let her get a word in.

"My eighteenth birthday's come and gone," Xander noted. He sent Faith a wry, apologetic glance over Buffy's head before turning back to B's mom. "And I've saved up enough to start out. If you need the space, I can move out…"

"Don't you dare," Buffy snapped, giving him a glare. "You said Graduation, you're staying till Graduation."

Faith stared at the back of Buffy's head, brows raised. Even with all the great things she'd just heard about Xander, that was not the response she'd have expected out of a girl unless she was boning the guy…under her mom's nose, no less, so that probably wasn't it. B didn't seem the type to screw around on her boytoy – not on Angel at least, that one had been pretty serious. X…well maybe – the fact that Faith hadn't driven him into the motel mattress spoke volumes about him being frigid, gay or interested in someone else, and that someone else could be Buffy. But he did seem the type to do the smart thing and not piss off B's mom. And she saw the amused look in Mrs. Summers' eye at what Buffy'd just said – if they even looked like boning, she wouldn't be finding this funny.

"If you say so, Buff." Xander lightly shoulder-nudged her with a little smirk that said he'd not missed the byplay. "I ain't going anywhere."

Buffy nodded and turned back around, only to blush a little as she finally clicked to what that just sounded like.

All right, Lesson Seven: don't screw Xander Harris…or screw him A.S.A.P., before B pulled her finger out, said 'Screw Willow' and called dibs. It probably wasn't a good idea anyway. Lady Linda had been right the first time, the guy was a key asset. 'Sides, from everything Faith had just heard, the guy could be a pretty awesome friend if she went to the effort – and blowing him off afterwards didn't strike her as the smart thing to do, what with Lessons Six and Six-A…

"I didn't," Buffy started—

(Ironically, Buffy actually hadn't meant it that way. It was just that there was a chance at getting Mom and Xander and her all getting to know Faith better all at once, for the best odds at getting her to open up some so Buffy could have an easier time tuning out the Hemery High bitch-queen's voice in her head and trust Faith more. And Xander had just had another close call with the supernatural nightlife, and yet again displayed possible suicidal tendencies in the process of pulling out the win. He hadn't said it outright, but 'convinced Jack blowing himself up wasn't healthy' sounded a lot like 'go ahead, I dare you' when she thought about it.

…That, and if Xander moved out, then that Talk about whether certain people felt something or didn't now couldn't be far off – and having broken up with Angel just a few weeks back, Buffy was not in a hurry to have to answer that question. For starters, she'd have to figure out what the honest answer to the question even was. Hence the blush…)

—then stopped, shook her head and got back on topic. "We can clean out the spare room upstairs – or she can sleep in my room, I won't mind. Angel let go of his place when he went to L.A., so that's out."

"Though, how'd Deadboy get that place anyway? Did he have I.D. back then?"

"I doubt that would work for Faith anyway," Mrs. S told them. "She'd need to pay rent, and… Faith, how do you pay for that motel room?"

Faith had been gearing up to argue about staying, but the concerned look in Mrs. S's eye threw her off. "I mug vamps. Shank 'em in the spine, that gives a few minutes if you leave it in." Linda's emergency funds had only stretched so far, after all. Buffy had been squicked when Xander suggested it months back, but Faith was already ahead of him when he mentioned it to her.

Mrs. S didn't exactly look happy to hear that, but, "Well, personally I think rescuing people from vampires – and saving the world like you all did tonight – would do for rent if you stay here. Though, if you want spending money it's either keep doing what you're doing or find a job… Actually, perhaps you should find a job anyway. What would you like to do, once you've got your G.E.D.?"

"There's a auto mechanic I've done some work experience with who's looking for an apprentice," Xander suggested. "I can put a good word in, if you don't mind using that Slayer strength to throw engine blocks round for fun and profit."

"Ooh! Maybe you could find some biker-vamps, dust them and keep their bikes," Buffy added. "Fix them up, and we can all have bikes! It can't be that hard to learn how to ride one, right?"

Faith's explosion was thrown off again when a cold shiver went up and down her spine – Buffy's driving skills were something she'd heard not much good about. She sucked in a quick breath as B added an indignant, "What?" to their collective reaction and tried again, a little calmer.

"Look, I appreciate the offer…" She did, too. Mrs. Summers hadn't known about where she was staying, and Buffy hadn't known about the motel thing – and the moment they found out, the offer came up. That didn't mean she wanted her current lifestyle screwed to hell-and-gone. She was great doing what she did! Well, she was fine doing what she did, and this was too much, all at once! "But…"

She stopped again. Took in the look in Mrs. Summers' eye.

"…Do I even get a say in this?"

"Of course you do," Mrs. S protested, her gaze softening. "As much as Xander did. It's your life, Faith – I just want to see you live it as best you can. If I can help with that, then I would like to, that's all."

Well, that was fine as far as it went. Faith could tell she wasn't lying. The problem was… well, the problem was Lesson Six-A. She'd known Joyce Summers pretty good before tonight, talked to her as much as she had anyone else. Tonight just underlined the lesson, which bore repeating: B's mom was fuckin' awesome…and pretty sneaky when she had to be. And more to the point now that the pressure had eased off, she probably knew what she was talking about when she made the offer. As much as Faith hated the idea at first glance…

"Joy," she muttered.

"That's Joyce to you, Faith," she retorted with a triumphant little twitch of the mouth. "Look, you don't have to answer right away – why don't you sleep on it? It's pretty late, so feel free to stay the night…"

…Well, maybe that lawyer would tell Joyce it was a bad idea, and she wouldn't have to make the call. That 'clear out a lair' idea had some promise, at least…

Willow metaphysically pulled back the focus a little, wondering about the…fuzzy, slightly spongy feel her most recent observations had left her with. A more distant examination revealed the most likely reason for that, and she noted it with some surprise as one more general mechanic for future observation.

The immortal Other had run nearly forty such sidereal experiments in applied causality so far, though at least two-thirds of them had fizzled due to a poor choice of catalyst or target. Anything involving Buffy, Angel or Cordelia would almost certainly fail as a matter of course, for instance. They were just managed too closely for Willow, at least, to interfere – though free will (read: sloth) did seem to have a factor when it came to indirect changes… Xander was her usual (successful) vector of choice, simply because he usually wasn't watched much – so many Others just counted on him to act in a known fashion and shaped their plans around that, or just nudged him into place to steer their Champions into place, that disguising her moves was easy. Who knew? maybe Xander's multiversal reputation for chaos was because of her and a bunch of other Willows like her playing round with things.

The interesting thing about this run-through, she was pretty sure, came down to the fact that several mid-level Others had actually endorsed the alteration. The standard pattern for the few realities that Willow had substantively changed through stealth, was for the single derivative reality to tangentially diverge from its portion of the central cluster and spin off on its own to somewhere else entirely, eventually winding around a more peripheral cluster of similar derivations. That much she'd gathered, though even after three dozen-odd completed experiments Willow found that initially connecting to any given reality was still very much a hit or miss proposition – especially in the central cluster where she did most of her experiments.

Whether the new reality in itself threw up any derivations of its own depended a lot on the Others who governed it. Usually, as seemed to happen when the Others let the changes stand by proxy simply because they weren't too worried about them, the reality would find a related cluster relatively quickly – almost as if it was attracted to that cluster, or was being directed there. As such, though it might spin off a couple associated proto-derivations, it was unlikely to have…momentum for lack of a better word, until another cluster was found and it didn't matter so much. (And not to mention, it was harder to tell – finding almost anything even in a peripheral cluster was a lot like trying to pick out a single specific fiber in a clump of shorn wool; even with the equivalent of a microscope, it could be seriously tricky.) For all her inhuman range of experience, Willow wasn't knowledgeable enough (yet) to know whether one or both scenarios were the case.

Contrast that to the really odd 'Legion of Xander' one she'd spawned off five goes back – that one was seemingly twirling away in the middle of nowhere by itself. She'd tentatively figured that the way the Others of that reality had been unceremoniously shut out just months after the change was the most likely factor for responsibility. That or their 'Xander Prime' (and/or Willow) was planning something and wanted the 'space'.

This reality, on the other hand? This one had at least half-a-dozen derivations already, all close together, all split off practically from the start of the divergence, and all crimped at the Jhe-sequence. It wasn't its own cluster, and it was slowly heading in the general direction of another cluster, but she could definitely call it a yarn like the natural ones out on the Verge. Willow could only guess that the four entities she'd negotiated with had somehow enforced the sequence, causing Xander to succeed in his self-imposed mission far more often in that reality's mirrors than should have happened otherwise.

Since there weren't too many more derivations in the yarn, much less than in a normal cluster (Willow paused to make a mental note about coming up with better mixed metaphors than a jumble of stars, wool, cameras and high-school physics at some future point), the Other panned out and skimmed lightly over what she could gather from the others. It turned out to be more like twenty, but still enough to peek at with only a handful of misses and false hits.

There were a few common crimps among the more substantial threads. Only the one major reality-shift (Dawn's transmutation) in the standard place, the others (Anyanka's Wish, Connor's obscuration and the Black Thorn rewind) being absent – though there was one where one of D'Hoffryn's operatives had pulled off another major one elsewhere, and one where Cyvus Vail did something similar. Jasmine uniformly ended up being edged out before she could even make her play; about half the time it was due to Cordelia quietly committing suicide when her family lost their money, half the time it was her and Angel (and Doyle, where he lived to see the new millenium) playing it far smarter in L.A., and one time because she actually flipped and worked for the Mayor, dying at the fangs of some of his more opportunistic minions during Graduation. While Glory always managed to open her portal, Buffy never threw herself into it (though in at least three derivations, Faith had picked up Doc's scalpel or smeared her hand on Dawn and taken the dive instead – notably, in all those she'd witnessed Faith working for the Mayor). 'Anya' never reappeared in Sunnydale, and Halfrek never bothered them either. And Xander always, at some point in the next four or so years after graduation, formally became an acolyte of Aphrodite…and quite often, her Champion.

Suspicious about that last one, she skimmed the yarn again – this time, on Xander's love life and how the hell it came to that point. And yeah, she was right. His faith might be pre-ordained, but reality-wise his choice in partners was all over the shop… and that didn't count the rituals, a particularly…well-attended one being responsible for peacefully closing the Sunnydale Hellmouth within the decade in at least seven derivations that she could count.

…Willow shrugged and pulled back. After the Legion of Xander, and all the ridiculously diverse pairings-off of that 'verse, she just wasn't that interested. Just mere mortal drama over hormones, she'd only looked to confirm the standard pattern of behaviour among Aphrodite's lot. Pretty much the only interesting thing about that was the fact that Aphrodite had cadged herself a pretty hefty boost in influence from endorsing Willow's interference, as well as an ongoing one from Xander's patronage.

As far as the bedevilled details… About two-thirds of the time, someone worked for the Mayor – usually Faith (though sometimes as a double agent), but also Willow and Amy a couple times each, Scott Hope once in addition to Cordelia's solitary betrayal, and Xander four times as a double agent spying on the Mayor. Faith moved in with Buffy about a third of the time, usually later. The gang's relations with the Initiative tended (though not always) to be more professional, with several of its former troops hanging around in Sunnydale to run their own ops afterwards. The Trio never got off the ground, though Warren often got recruited by Wolfram and Hart's science division and more than once got turned into Illyria's new vessel. The First never really got a look-in, and neither did Wolfram and Hart with their plans for Angel.

(Oh, and virtually all the Willows had a pretty horrendous run when it came to love in their lives, at least at first. Their 'luck' tended to change (though not always) as they matured emotionally, or as their magics advanced far enough to run some of the more advanced diagnostics on themselves, realise that they'd somehow cheesed off a love goddess and set about fixing it with Xander's guidance.

Yep. Aphrodite's attention, square on you? Usually NOT a good thing.)

One last thing, the most important as far as Willow was concerned, was common everywhere she looked within the yarn: there was no analogue of her. In fact, six or seven decades down the collective track, it was surprisingly common (as in, at least six times over) to see of all things Buffy, Faith, Xander and Willow all in the same nursing home, watching and chuckling as their assorted great-grandchildren of assorted parentage did their level best to give the assorted orderlies as many grey hairs as the assorted elderly they were caring for.

An entire yarn, where she had succeeded and everything was mostly okay. And it meant nothing for her.

Willow huffed again. It wasn't a total loss, she reminded herself.

"That's it. Time to see about a chat with some Others…" she muttered…

…Then reconsidered, gauging her temper.

"Actually – no. First, kill Xander off with a Y.A.H.F.. That'll calm me down. Then collate the rest of the data from this try. Then chat."

If nothing else, at least there was no harm done killing off a Xander by initiating a Y.A.H.F. (Yet Another Halloween Flub) 'experiment'. Well, apart from the dead Xander, and maybe his reality. And her mopy disposition, which always improved when she managed to kill off a Xander in a funny or original way. Not quite as satisfying as killing off Buffy or one of her own analogues, but far less effort.

Hey, it passed the time.

Ending A/N: *sigh* And I'm finally done with this.
Or… Am I?

"…Or maybe turn him into a tentacle-demon again? Hmm… Maybe later."

Yep, done.

Lessee… might as well try to guess any questions.
Faith's POV: if you were thinking her POV seemed kinda shallow, that's because in a way it was. To be fair, she'd had a hard night, endorphins and adrenaline and etc., complete with a Hard Win. It's not that she can't think deep thinky-thoughts – it's that right then, she's not in much of a condition to be all philosophical, doesn't actually care all that much, and in fact actively tries to avoid thinking too deeply anyway because brooding about how much her life sucks tends to be the result. Kinda like Xander, back before this fic started.
(Present) Willow-bashing?: …maybe. There's an often-seen fandom theory that the Fluke was caused by Willow casting something. I can take it or leave it, but in this fic she at least thought about doing it very seriously, probably with research. As far as her characterisation re. Xander, I aimed to have it in line with her character here and fit pretty close to canon!Willow at that age.
Cordelia's Fate: left up in the air on purpose. My initial impulse was to kill her off as per Starway Man's line of conjecture, simply to cut out a future complication – that impulse was buried simply by reminding myself that I'm not continuing this any further, though not being connected to Xander from far earlier on does naturally leave her more distant from the central plot here...at least for now.
In the end it was more satisfying to leave it up to the reader anyway. Maybe she got along with Buffy better, and that saved her. Maybe she got Jonathan to illicitly squirrel away some of her family's dough as a nest-egg after deciding sooner to move away from Sunnydale. And hey, maybe she grew up a little and decided a more obviously mature Xander was worth another try. Your call.

And… (rant ho!)
Buffy/Xander?: not a word, yea or nay.

A pretty big aim of the epilogue was to portray a Season 3 where Buffy and Xander are actually close friends – and more, by Xander's definition rather than Buffy's (definitions as per the Talk above, which might as well be canon – especially if Ford the 6th-grade crush was seriously counted as a friend). There's a saying about strange bedfellows which sums up most of the relationships romantic or otherwise in Buffy/Angel. Season 3, as far as Xander vis-a-vis the others, clearly demonstrates that; apart from the good fight, there was very little keeping Xander connected to any of them.
"The Zeppo", at its base, is all about isolating Xander from the others and letting him stand up or fall down on his own merits, with the lives of all his unsuspecting friends on the line – and it's set up that way for a damn good reason. All the others have their own supernatural motivations or entrapments – destiny/duty, curses, magic. Even Cordelia has the obvious motivation of climbing back up the social ladder, or at least limiting the damage, with the long-term goal of escaping Sunnydale; sure it leads her away from the fight, but it's a concrete personal motivation nonetheless. Xander's? All bound up in the others – canon!Xander needed the test, to prove to himself that the fight in itself was enough to pull out the win regardless even if everyone else did cut him out and he lost his 'motivation' that way.
Compared to all that? B/X: trivial. Might happen, might not. (Though if it did happen, it wouldn't be for a while – Xander's still too damaged, neither of them are quite mature enough for it to work long-term, and both of them recognise that.) Much like Cordelia's fate, a goodly part of the Dark Willow POV at the end was a convenient vehicle to dodge that very question. Same with any other future relationships you could care to name.

…Ahem.

Anyway. A final thanks to everyone who's taken the time and patience to read this fic, especially those who've also taken the effort to leave some measure of acknowledgement. Reviews/concrit are greatly appreciated in the name of future improvement. Until next time.