A/N: Felt like trying my hand at writing some sasusaku "fluff" without all the introspection and self-reflection that I tend to get into with my fics. I wrote the previous sentence before I started the fic and I can now say with confidence that this fic is chock-full of introspection. I'm still working on the Sasuke companion piece to "She Bleeds" so…eventually that'll be done. Anyway, please read and review!

Summary: They say wisdom comes with age. Sakura is older, perhaps wiser, but unfortunately, also lonelier. "Time continues to flow – relentlessly and almost cruelly. She feels the breath rush out of her lungs and the sting of the cold night air is sharp against her skin." "I want to see you smile again, Sakura." [post-699/pre-700] [sasusaku] [oneshot]

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, Masashi Kishimoto does. Also the lyrics at the beginning and end of the fic are translated lyrics for "I could love you again" by Yim Jae Bum but I listened to ALi's cover of the song.


~x~

Years have passed

But my love for you has not changed

When I miss you

Everything I look at seems to be filled in your sadness

~x~


Sakura watches as her best friend takes on the responsibility of becoming the next head of the Yamanaka clan. Ino throws herself headlong into training and mastering her clan's traditional techniques and as she follows firmly in her father's footsteps, Sakura muses that Ino is blooming into the beautiful cosmos her father had always known she was.

And so Sakura can't find it within herself to call her "Ino-pig" the next time she excitedly invites her best friend to the newly opened bakery.

"Sorry Sakura," Ino promptly apologizes, pressing her palms together as she asks for forgiveness, "I've got more practice tonight but I promise next time! Yeah?"

"Sorry Sakura-chan!" Naruto responds one day in his usual boisterous voice when Sakura invites him for a round of sparring. He scratches awkwardly at the back of his head, a blush growing on his cheeks, "I promised Hinata that we'd go on a…date tonight." He follows this with an embarrassed chuckle, words like "date" still foreign to his tongue but his bright smile is evidence that it's a word he's happy to say more often. "But next time, yeah?"

"Shizune's got everything covered," Kakashi answers offhandedly when Sakura offers to help him with Hokage paperwork but he looks away from his work and up at her when she responds with silence, eyes softening when he recognizes the dimmed look in his former student's eyes. It's a look he sees in his reflection every day and he thinks to himself that it did not suit her beautiful green eyes. He speaks again, this time his voice gentle and understanding, "but maybe another time, ok?"

Disappointment twinges in her heart each time at these responses but Sakura is quick to paste on the "false smile" that Sai had coined for her.

"Yeah!" her voice is chipper and her smile equally bright and like Sai she's honed this fake smile to an art, "definitely next time!"


She remembers her own promise to herself to get stronger and resolves to get busy as well.

Time continues to flow – relentlessly and almost cruelly. She becomes an admirable jounin but the days turn into weeks and the weeks turn into months in the confines of the sterile white halls of the hospital and she finds that her eyes reflect only the green healing glow of her chakra and the crimson blood of her patients. She loves her work but when sleep is lost to her and she is left lying awake in bed while the night sky sits on the cusp of breaking into dawn, she sometimes wonders if white halls, green chakra and red blood will be the rest of her life.

She surmises bitterly that while her fists can smash boulders into dust, she does not have the strength to crush the lonely emptiness rattling in her hollow bones. Her friends were busy moving onto the next stage of their lives and she is stuck contemplating if perhaps the best days of her life – days filled with young peals of laughter, adolescent swooning, pointless arguing and memories painted in bold streaks of orange, blue, pink and silver – were behind her.

She wishes she could be more like Lee and Gai-sensei – "the springtime of youth never ends!" – but when it is 4 at night and the heavy darkness of the night threatens to gag and choke her, she thinks to herself that despite her name, her springtime may have indeed already ended. Her heart thunders desperately with the desire to share her lonely thoughts with someone – anyone – but instead the loneliness seeps deep and settles in the marrow of her bones, stinging like alcohol against an open wound.

She closes her eyes, willing herself to stop thinking and to just sleep, but where she wishes to see the familiar bold colors of her youth, instead her dreams are dyed in hues of green and crimson.


She looks up from her steaming bowl of ramen and watches as Sasuke scowls – albeit affectionately – and Naruto jabbers loudly and with a gusto at his frowning best friend in between hearty slurps of his noodles.

"Disgusting. You're getting the soup everywhere, dobe," Sasuke chastises, thumbing away a droplet off his face and narrowing his eyes in disgust, but there is a hidden softness in his gaze reserved only for Naruto.

"That's not the point, teme!"

"What is the point?"

Sakura smiles softly, her heart brimming with happiness at her former teammate's nostalgic antics yet she still feels the ever-present poison of loneliness swirl in her veins. She turns back to her food, pressing down the negative thoughts as she resolves to enjoy this rare occasion with both Naruto and Sasuke and breaks apart a pair of chopsticks as she prepares to dig into her ramen.

"Sakura-chan, you know I'm right! Right?!" Naruto whines, whirling in his seat to seek her confirmation. Unfortunately, she had missed the entire conversation and hadn't the faintest idea of what he wanted to be right about.

"I think that I'm going to finish my food before it gets cold," she teases instead, pulling the bowl closer to her.

"Sakura-chan!"

She sticks out her tongue playfully and giggles at her teammate, but her laughter rings hollow in her chest.

She does not notice the pair of mismatched eyes that quietly observe her from two seats down.


One night, she returns home to find Sasuke waiting at the stoop of her front door. The question of "why" sits on her lips as she approaches him but is silenced as he suddenly pulls his arm out of the confines of his tattered cloak and extends it toward her.

A small gift bag dangles in front of her eyes.

"Here," his word is blunt, but his usual roughness is absent and the tips of her ears pink as she thinks to herself that instead, his voice sounds uncharacteristically warm and soft. She notices the tiny blush of pink staining his cheeks as she gingerly takes the gift bag by the handles and out of his hand, the gears in her head winding maddeningly as she tries to process the current situation of Sasuke blushing and giving her a gift in the middle of the cold winter night.

"I brought it from Suna," is his curt explanation and words continue to escape her so instead she pries the bag open to peer inside and lets out a small gasp as her eyes widen at the sight of Suna's famed sweet rice cakes packaged in a beautiful cream-colored box with a transparent film on top to peer through.

"You like sweets," he reasons, shifting uncomfortably at her shocked silence and tries to structure his sudden gift-giving around logic to lessen the embarrassment, "something seemed to be bothering you lately and I know sweets make you happy, so…"

He noticed, is all she thinks, her eyes blinking rapidly as she tries to hold back the sudden welling of tears in her eyes.

His words trails off, Adam's apple bobbing as he tries to swallow the lump in his throat and instead realizes that his mouth has suddenly gone dry and his tongue is a useless lead weight sitting in his mouth.

His voice hitches in his throat and he is silent but soon relaxes as Sakura's green eyes, wide with astonishment and wonder, look up to meet his mismatched ones. His embarrassment dissipates like a mist in the night as her bright unshed tears coax him to finish.

He lifts his hand up, index and middle finger poised to tap her on her forehead but there is hesitation in his eyes and before Sakura's mouth can form the syllables of his name he swoops down and presses his moist lips to hers. The kiss is gentle and sweet, sending liquid fire coursing through her veins as the blood rushes from the tip of her ears and down to her toes. She tastes the night and stars in his kiss, inhales his scent - the freshness of familiar Konoha pine stained with a hint of arid Suna desert - and in the moment her heart jolts and jumpstarts back to life she winds her arms around his neck, boldly pulling his body flush against hers as she returns his kiss. His hand settles at her waist and her eyelids flutter shut as she melts into the chaste kiss, memorizes the tingling sensation of his lips on hers, and greedily takes in the scent of him, breathing in deeper than she ever thought she could.

He pulls away too fast and too soon and his lips pull into the slightest of smiles as he presses his forehead against hers, mismatched eyes locking with her green orbs glazed over and hungry for more of him.

"So," he restarts, his voice low and gentle as his warm breath caresses her blushing cheeks, "I want to see you smile again, Sakura."

She feels the breath rush out of her lungs as he finishes with a quick promise of "I'll see you next time" and the sting of the cold night air is sharp against her skin as he brushes past her and leaves.

Memories of a night long past play in her mind like a film without sound, and she sees herself, a young girl – naïve and hopelessly in love – trembling as he – equally young, naïve and hopelessly lost – whispers words of gratitude against the back of her neck.

She wheels around to face his retreating back.

"Sasuke-kun!"

He stops at her call but doesn't turn back. Even so, she feels the life rush back into her, feels the courage well up inside her and the boundless love she has for him pounds in tune with the blood in her veins.

Without her saying a word, he saw and heard the groaning of her heart – her heart that had felt so hopelessly isolated and alone, yearning for a warm touch. And he had noticed – the gift, his kiss, was proof of that – and despite the chilly winter air, she mused that perhaps she had been wrong and her springtime was just beginning.

Fresh tears cascade down the slope of her reddening cheeks but the wide smile on her face is bright and real.

"Sasuke-kun," his name tastes sweet on her tongue, and the ghost of his kiss lingers on her rosy lips, "thank you!"

That night she doesn't struggle to fall asleep and when she sleeps her dreams are tinted with mingling shades of blushing pink and bold blue.


~x~

Do not be sad my love

It makes my heart ache

I could love you again

Although this endless waiting is sorrowful

I love you from then and now

Until forever

~x~


A/N: Was that even fluff? I have no idea. The introspection happened anyway…I'm 22 but I feel like 20's are really tough. I think it's when you feel the loneliest, lost…est, and the most confused so I wanted Sakura to grapple with that as well. Writing sasusaku fluff is pretty difficult…I tried to keep Sasuke in character and still keep it "fluffy" but…I dunno? But he had noticed when she was feeling down before the chuunin exam, which was what I was trying to allude to so…maybe it's not too OOC? Or maybe the gift giving was OOC? Argh. Anyway, please read and review, I'd appreciate any feedback.