Hey there everyone! My name is Wallflower95. You may know me from my Fault in Our Stars fanfics (Their Little Infinity, Anna's Infinity, The Fault in His Stars, All I Want is You: Holiday Special) or from my other stories Here I Lie (Hunger Games), Convergent (Divergent Trilogy), The Beauty That Remains (Doctor Who) or Merry Murder (Sherlock Holiday Special).

Anyway, I've been working on this one for quite a bit (since mid Anna's Infinity). This will be my 5th tfios story. unlike my other fault in our stars stories, this one does not feature our favorite duos. No, this is kind of an origin story for Peter Van Houten. The rise and fall of the author of 'An Imperial Affliction. How he became a reclusive drunk in Amsterdam. How he dealt with his pain. I hope you all enjoy it! I hope to reach 10 chapters (at the most)

Leave a comment or review and let me know what you think. I appreciate all feedback!:)

~Wallflower95

1

Diagnosis

They say that when a child becomes ill it makes tremendous change in your life. I don't disagree with that assumption. I just wish it weren't true. I often wonder why good people in life suffer such terrible tragedies and then bad people get all the luxuries in the world. Why is that? Did I do something wrong in life that I now have to pay for? And why make her suffer? Why her?

Life was fine before my own little tragedy came along. I was happily married to the love of my life, Candice. We had a beautiful daughter, Anna. She was the greatest joy of my life. An emphasis on was. You see, I wasn't always a bad person. I was happy once. I had loved people once. They were my everything. And then they disappeared, like smoke.

One week before she got sick, we took her to the zoo in our beautiful city. New York City zoo. She stood in between us, holding each of our hands with a smile on her face. She had just turned eight. She was wearing blue dress with mary janes on her feet and white socks. Her blonde hair was tied with colorful ribbons. Her blue eyes glowed with curiosity and excitement. She pointed to each animal. Candice smiled down at her. Candice wore a red shirt with green pants. Her dark brown hair was tied in a loose bun. Her green eyes glowed with love. She had a hair hanging loosed from her bun. I smile and kissed her on the cheek, tucking that loose hair behind her ear.

That was the last good day before our own little tragedy. I wish time had frozen there. On that very moment. I wished I could have stopped and appreciated that moment. I wished I had known.

The next day, Anna complained about about feeling hot. We had taken her temperature and assumed it was just a fever, that bed rest would help her feel better. The day after she threw up everything she ate. She stopped eating. She couldn't get up from the living room couch. We only thought it was the flu. And then bruising and bleeding came along. We found bruises all along her arms and legs and she kept getting these terrible nose bleeds. She was crying an in pain. We took her in. It took hours and hours of running tests.

Candice and I never left her side. We were both sleeping next to her. She was lying on a hospital bed, asleep and drugged. I felt a hand resting on my back. The Doctor gestured for me to come outside the room. Without waking Anna or Candice up, I stepped outside.

"What is the news Doctor?" I asked, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes.

It is a parent's worst nightmare to hear that your child is suffering and there's nothing you can do about it. The Doctor's words were muffled. All I could see was my little girl, my Anna, lying there. In pain. Suffering.

Leukemia is what they said she had. They think they can control it but it would be a lot of work.

"Mr. Van Houten?" I looked at the Doctor.

"We want to start radiation and chemo tomorrow. The sooner the better." She said to me. I looked back through the glass window that separated me from my daughter and wife. How could I possibly break the news to them? What a burden that is. I nodded slowly. The Doctor left me in the hall as I stared at my loved ones from behind glass.

I took some time off work to be with them. When I told Candice the news she sobbed in my arms. We then entered Anna's room and we both sat on either side of her. She smiled at us. Candice smiled weakly. Her eyes were still red from crying. I took Anna's small hand and held it in my own.

"Hi monkey." I whispered. She smiled. She has gotten so thin and pale. But her eyes were still blue and full of life.

"When can we go home daddy?" I sighed and stroked her hand with mine.

"I'm afraid we have to stay here a while longer Anna." I said.

"Why daddy?"

"You are sick and these Doctors can help you get better. You will feel better very soon." Anna nodded.

"And then we can go get ice cream." I nodded and smiled at her.

"And then we can go get ice cream." She was only eight. How do you tell an eight year old that she has leukemia and that she may or may not be dying. How?

We woke the next morning just as a team of Doctors came in. They all bustled around and smiled at Anna. She thought they were all nice. Soon the chemical torture came along and our journey began.