A/N:

I'm very, very sorry that it took so long for the second chapter, I told you I'm a slow writer. Well I also have many matters to deal with-just kidding, I got none, I was procrastinating I'msorryI'msorry.

Welp, now you can enjoy!

Loud noises, loud laughter.

It was all my ears could hear. As if there were no other noises in this world.

But it felt like the reality to me, only being able to hear these annoying laughters coming from a certain group of people and nothing else. They sounded rough, they cursed a lot, and they all kept on laughing at yet another inappropriate joke.

I stood still, unable to stay away from the source of annoyance. Their voices trapped me into a trance, and I felt something was building up very quickly.

These kind of people were able to laugh.

These trashes of society were able to laugh.

And I couldn't.

I lived within a clean, and pretty wealthy family. I've lived my life clean, perfect, as if I was a blank sheet of paper. I was smart, I had good looks, and I was able to do something most people can't; Ballet Dancing.

...And I couldn't laugh as loud as them.

As if they didn't have anything to worry about, and they actually sounded happier than I could ever be.

The night darkened, and I was still standing there like a fool with a plastic bag in hand, eyes locked into a dark alley where the voices came.

The more I listened to them, the more I felt my chest became heavier and heavier, my body started to tremble, and I felt my blood was boiling. My vision was blurry, and I still couldn't hear anything but those dreaded laughter.

I hate it. Hate it.

My mind felt like an empty shell, but somehow my body was able to make a small move towards that alley, as if it had mind of its own. I could hear the snarky laughter getting louder the closer I got to them.

Shut up.

My footsteps echoed back to my ear when I stepped into the dark alley. For some reason, I could hear my own footsteps got louder and louder until it was as loud and as intense as their laughter.

Was I running?

Not long after, I could feel my right knuckle making a contact with a face. I wasn't able to register what I just did, in my mind it felt like a blank, nothing. There was a stinging pain from my knuckle, but my brain still couldn't grasp what just happened.

Seconds after, there were a lot of yelling, I couldn't comprehend what they said. All I could hear were loud noises, screams, thumping, so many mixed noises that it irritated me, and I just wanted them to shut up and disappear.

Then, I felt an agony upon my own face. I was thrown to the ground rather harshly and some dirt got into my mouth when I fell, I spat to get rid of it.

It hurts.

But I couldn't let out any noise, just silence.

Another yelling, and that was where I felt a switch turned within me.

"Shut up."

No, It couldn't be my voice, I never use a voice that low and intimidating. I was a soft, and a kind girl, who always had an unfaltering smile even though I always got hit by the harsh reality, it couldn't stop me from smiling.

A punch came, then another.

"Shut, the fuck, up."

No, it definitely couldn't have had come out of my innocent lips, I've had never swore, I've had never stoop so low that I would swear to someone else, I was the cute and clever Elichika. I was perfect, every words I said would always be something elegant, and sweet.

A kick created an impact, a voice escaped me at last. I could feel the back of my throat vibrating roughly, my brain recognized it as a groan.

After awhile, I stood up with eyes half-lidded, and shoulders shaking. I took a deep, shaky breath and held it in.

If that perfect girl was Ayase Eli, then who am I?

Who was this girl that was sending a punch after punch for every hit she took?

Who was this girl that was screaming so loud until her voice became hoarse and croaked?

Who was this girl that was bathing in blood, and loving every seconds of agony she felt upon her body?

"Eli...chika." Came a mumble as I exhaled slowly.

I snickered lowly, realizing that what I was doing felt like a bliss. The pain felt like a drug that was able to let you off from the cruel reality, even though it was only for a split second. The agony upon my pale skin was replaced by a sense of bliss seeping in my entire body, an odd feeling, but addictive.

I wanted to get away, away from reality.

And I might have found my exit door.

I felt another hit, and my vision blacked out.

Before I lost my consciousness, I heard a contented sigh in the back of my head.

I gasped and sat straight on my bed. I was panting, and my hands were shaking and sweaty. I whimpered as I buried my face onto my palm, trying to get a hold of myself. The visions of the past I had was so vivid that it felt like it happened just now instead of years ago.

What happened yesterday made me dream of my worst mistake in the past. That one fatal mistake that completely ruined my entire life. That was when the perfect blank sheet of Ayase Eli got drenched in dirty blood. I shouldn't have lost it like that back then, I shouldn't have stepped in into that dark alley.

It was all me, everything started because I...

"Elicchi."

A warm embrace enveloped my body from behind, I gasped softly and snapped my head to the figure behind me. I stared at the figure who was wearing a simple t-shirt and shorts, which were mine.

"I'm here, Elicchi." She whispered as she buried her face on my shoulder

We were both on my bed. Yesterday after our little...session, I finally told her everything. I couldn't hide anything from her anymore, I didn't want to hurt her, and I wanted her to help me.

I was tired of doing everything alone, I was tired of hurting someone I love, I wanted to go back to a normal life, back to the happy-go-lucky school idol group that we were in.

Back to normal, that words felt very heavy. Was it even possible for someone like me to 'go back to normal'?

All the sins I had done in the past was too big and too deep. I left my past in a big, complicated mess, and now it was trying to pull me back, it was trying to eat all my current happiness and turn it into dread.

"I can't...I just...can't..." I whimpered as I turned around and buried my face on Nozomi's shoulder. I held her tightly, my hands clutching strands of her hair and pulling it slightly. I wanted all her warmth to enveloped me, to calm me down.

I breathe in, a waft of her unique scent filled my nose. For some reason, her scent reminded me of lilies, and it was very soothing. Wanting to get calmer, I took in more and more of her scent, and soon found it very addicting.

Unbeknownst to me, the shaking of my hands have stopped, and at the moment I already forgot the reason why I was like that in the first place. Instead, I wanted to enjoy and wanted more of the new experience I was having.

A hand was rubbing my back, and another hand was stroking my hair gently. This action made me sigh in content, feeling unbelievably comfortable despite my break down just now.

Feeling oddly happy now, I playfully kissed her shoulder, making her shuddered in surprise.

"Elicchi..!" She spoke of my name in a low, hushed voice which almost sounded like a moan. Her unexpected reaction made my heart leapt, I could feel blood rushing to my cheeks.

I pulled back almost immediately and stared at her apologetically. Now that I could see her face, I noted that she was also blushing, and she was biting her lower lip with her eyes filled with desire, which look very seductive to me, though I knew she wasn't seducing me.

But for some unknown reason, right now she looked very...seductive and alluring. There was this odd tingly feeling in the pit of my stomach the longer I gazed at her expression. My instinct then told me that I wanted something. But what was it?

I watched Nozomi brought her face close to mine, so close that our noses touched with each other's. She glanced at me, looking unsure about something, her eyes were questioning about something.

I still couldn't grasp what was it that she wanted at first, until she tilted her head and closed in just a little bit more, our lips were barely touching. My lips turned into a smile and I closed my eyes, giving the permission that she has been asking.

The moment I felt her lips brushed very gently on mine, the tingly sensation in my stomach spread to the rest of my body.

This was what I-my instinct wanted.

She pressed her lips a little more which made me groan softly and kissed her back, wanting to feel more of her lips. Soon I started to hear the light smacking sounds that echoed around inside my room.

I just could not find this action as weird, it felt very comfortable, in fact. What she did yesterday made me realized that I've been wanting it all this time, too.

Before she conveyed her feelings in such way, I didn't even realize that the lonely feeling that I felt when she wasn't beside me, the warmth that filled my chest when she smiled, the feeling of not wanting to hurt her and lost her in any way, was Love.

Yesterday, the moment her lips was upon mine, the realization hit me hard like a truck. I was too stupid to realize my own feelings, and I had been feeling that way towards her since our first year.

Despite her confession yesterday, I still hadn't properly replied to her, I found it unnecessary.

My actions should've speak louder than words. I didn't need to say a word to tell her of my feelings, I already poured all my feelings and answer with my actions, and I could tell tha she understood my body language very well.

I snapped out of my thoughts and groaned in protest when I felt her pulling back, I couldn't get enough of her lips. I wanted more, more of her.

Nozomi stared at my disappointed look with a smile, but then her smile faltered when she touched my face with her fingertips. This caused me to remember all of the event that happened yesterday.

My eyes twitched, now I could feel the soreness of the bruises and the stings of the cuts, earlier I couldn't even feel a single pain, I felt numb. Maybe due to the breakdown and the sudden desire I felt.

"Elicchi? Are you okay?" She asked with a worried tone as she kept running her fingertips on my wounds.

"Yeah...I'm okay, just a bit sore." I said with a nervous laugh, she frowned at me. Then, her face softened and she leaned her head on my shoulder.

"Elicchi..."

"Hm?"

"You really don't want to go to school today?"

School.

Right, it was weekday, so of course there was school. I completely forgot about it.

My eyes darted to the clock on my wall, my eyes went wide in surprise when I realized that school has already started. Me being absent was fine because I was planning to do so, and I already asked my sister last night to call the school about my absence.

But the problem was, Nozomi. She was still here, at my side, also absent from school.

Nozomi stayed over because she was way too worried to leave me alone, she wanted to take care of me until I healed. And she especially became really worried after I told her everything about my past and about what happened after I went with those delinquents.

I was fine with her being here, I did need her, I wanted to be right next to her so that I could keep my sanity. But I just realized that this also made her skip school, and so I reconsider if her presence was a good idea or not, I didn't want to ruin her school life. Mine was already ruined, I didn't want hers too.

"I...you know why I can't." I answered her question.

Nozomi squinted her eyes, "You know, you shouldn't keep this matter to yourself. Or just to me in that matter, aren't the rest of µ's are your friends?"

I flinched, "They are...but, exactly because they are my friends that I don't want them to know, I don't want to ruin the dynamic we have."

"But they can also help you sort this out, Elicchi." She retorted back.

I furrowed my eyebrows, "I don't want them to get involved."

"What if, whoever was setting you up wanted to ruin µ's name? Doesn't that mean that they are already involved? We do have Love Live coming up, so it's possible."

I fell silent immediately. Nozomi had a point. Them knowing the truth about me was inevitable if the culprit who set me up wanted to ruin µ's name. But at the same time, I still wanted to keep that part of history kept inside a pandora box, not letting anyone see what was inside of it besides my sister and Nozomi.

Those girls were just too innocent and too happy to know of such dreadful past. I really didn't want to ruin their innocence. On top of it all, I didn't want them to hate me because of it, I didn't want them to feel disgusted or afraid over me.

"Nozomi...I-" My sentence was cut short when I heard my cellphone ringing. I snapped my head towards it and reached for it, wondering who was calling me around this time. It was really rare to get a phone call at this hour, because it was school time, unless it was emergency.

My heart tighten, what if this really was an emergency?

I stared at the caller's ID, my eyes went wide when I read a name that wasn't supposed to be able to call me around this time.

Minami Kotori.

Why would she call me at this hour? Wasn't she supposed to be in class?

Something was definitely wrong here.

With a really bad feeling, I brought it over my ear, "...Hello?"

"Eli-chan! Thank god you pick up! Are you okay?" Came the usual high-pitched voice of Kotori.

I cleared my throat, making sure that I don't have the morning voice, "Uhm...yes I'm okay. So, what's wrong Kotori? Why are you calling me? Aren't you supposed to be in class?"

"Well...uhm...first, sorry to disturb you. I heard from my mother that you are...busy right now and that's why you're absent, but..."

Something was definitely up. I felt a tug on my sleeve, I glanced at Nozomi to find her giving me a questioning look, probably wondering if something happened. I shook my head to answer her, not knowing what was really up yet.

"Kotori, what is it?"

"There's...something urgent going on, and my mom insisted for you to come to school immediately."

I felt my heart stopped.

"What?" I widened my eyes, I knew something was wrong.

"You...don't have to go to the class, my mother just wanted to see you." I could tell from her voice that Kotori was scared over something, her voice was shaking.

Did it have something to do with what happened yesterday? It probably was.

I understand if Principal Minami wanted to see me to ask about yesterday's ruckus, but what about the urgent thing? Did something else happened while I wasn't around? This had to be something more serious.

"Well, that's all, Eli-chan..." She paused a little, "I wanted to know the truth, too." And she hang up the phone call.

I froze, what was with her last sentence?

With my heart pumping fast in worry, I jumped from my bed and opened my wardrobe to look for something to wear, something that could cover my wounds.

"Elicchi!? What's wrong? What did Kotori-chan said?" I heard Nozomi asked.

Without looking at her, I answered, "I had to go to school, something happened and I don't know what. Principal Minami insisted to see me." I paused at whatever I was doing and glanced at her, "...Are you coming with me?"

It was supposed to be a question, but it sounded like a plea instead. I was afraid at what the Principal had in store, I was too afraid to face her alone, especially with all these wounds. I really wanted to just hide behind Nozomi's back.

Nozomi stood up from the bed and approached me, then she threw her arms around me, nodding. "Of course, I'll accompany you." She seemed to understand that I was scared to bits, scared of being alone at the moment, scared of losing my mind.

Knowing that I would have her at my side for whatever was coming, I feel a little bit stronger.

My eyes dropped down, staring at my own appearance. I smiled bitterly at the clothes that I was wearing. I was wearing a regular jeans, sneakers, a T-shirt, and a black hoodie jacket.

This style really brought up the painful memories, especially the jacket.

This hoodie jacket had seen my past self in action so many times. At first I didn't want to wear this jacket, but I needed something that had a hood and wasn't my...current style. And when I was rummaging through my wardrobe, I saw this hoodie.

I really didn't want to wear it because it was my old jacket when I was still Chika, but it's a hoodie, and I needed a hoodie to hide my face, because I was going to school. I didn't want anyone to recognize me, so I'd rather look like my old self so that nobody recognized me, as much as I hated it.

As I was still walking with my eyes on myself, from the corner of my eyes I could see Nozomi, who was wearing school's uniform, walking right next to me. She was unusually close to me, scared that I might disappear if she looked away even for just a second.

When I lifted my head back, a really familiar hallway filled my vision. I was already at school, Nozomi and I tried our best not to be seen by any students to avoid any unnecessary problem. We took a detour here and there whenever we saw a student in sight, we both were basically skipping school and I looked like hell so it was better to not let anyone see us at all.

From far away, I could see the sign of the headmaster office. I gulped and slowed my pace, so that it would take longer for me to arrive, I was still scared. Then I stopped dead when we were right in front of that door, I could feel Nozomi's gaze on me.

"Elicchi..." She grabbed my bandaged hand, and squeezed it gently, trying to calm me down. I glanced at her, giving her a look of gratitude for being there for me. Without her, I might've had run, just leave my mess behind without a care that it might cause even more trouble.

With her reassuring smile as my confidence, I took a deep breath and turned the knob, before slowly opened the door.

In front of me, Kotori stood in front of her mother's desk, eyes wide when she saw me. She scanned me up and down, clearly confused at how different I look. And when I dropped the hood of my hoodie, Kotori gasped.

When she could finally see clearly at what have become of my face, she looked terrified and bewildered. Of course, seeing your student council president and friend in a beat up look would surely make you react in that same way.

"So, it was true." Came the voice of Principal Minami, stern and serious.

I could only stay silent and wait for her to continue whatever she wanted to say to me. I watched the principal squinted her eyes at me, her eyes were scanning at my figure, most probably staring at my wounds one by one. But then, her eyes stopped at my bandaged hands, she knitted her eyebrows together at it.

Feeling so self-conscious about it, I hid it behind my back so that she wouldn't be able to observe it further.

"I heard about those delinquents, Ayase-san." She finally continued.

I knew that she was going to ask about the incident yesterday, I had to make up a story fast, "Those ill-mannered girls were trying to ruin µ's by bullying me-"

She cut me mid-sentence, "Ah-ah, That was not how it really happened, wasn't it?" She said as she shook her head.

I froze, eyes wide at her statement, then she continued, "It wasn't exactly one-sided, was it?" Her eyes turned to the laptop in front of her, then turned it towards us. I raised an eyebrow at this. I stared at the screen, she had a video streaming website up.

Then she pressed the play button, when the video played, that was when I felt like it was the end of me.

It was a video of what happened yesterday. A complete video.

It was blurry, but you could tell there was a couple of girls were surrounding a blonde-haired high school student who wore Otonokizaka's uniform. You might not be able to see the face because of the blurriness, but the hair color and the uniform kinda gave away of who it was.

In the video, one of the girls that were surrounding the blonde-haired girl sent a couple of punches to her. It looked like the blonde-haired girl was being bullied, but soon the situation turned drastic. The blonde who once looked weak and bullied, fought back with such terrifying power and speed, it only took a couple of minutes for the blonde to finish all three girls.

The blonde was bathe in blood, with the rest of the girls fall unconscious around her.

It didn't look like the blonde was a victim at all.

To see the reenactment of what I did yesterday in a video really terrified me. Seeing myself in action, bathe in blood, stood tall victorious in the end was the worst thing I've ever seen. I really did defeat them in cold blood like I used to, I didn't look hesitant at all as if I was hungry for blood. The reality hit me really hard, it completely dawned upon me how much cruel I could be when I was 'Chika'.

This wasn't something I expected at all, I thought the principal just wanted to ask about what happened yesterday, if that were the case I could've just tried to make up a story. I didn't know that there was someone filming all this. I had a feeling whoever filmed this was not just some random pedestrian, it may be the culprit who set me up.

Whoever set me up really wanted to ruin µ's name.

The principal closed her laptop, "Well? If you ask me, Ayase-san, it didn't look like you were bullied."

"But...!"

Nozomi stepped forward, "No...! It wasn't like that, Principal Minami, she...she was..." Nozomi turned around to look at me, hesitant whether she should tell the truth or not. Simply saying

I was bullied without further explanation wouldn't do, the rest of the story had to be told in order for someone to understand what really happened here.

But I didn't want anyone else to know, that'd be worse than getting beat up in the face hundreds of times. Worse, Kotori was present, looking very scared already after she seen the gruesome things in the video.

"I see that you know of something, Toujou-san, care to explain what was really going on?"

"S-She...I..." Nozomi kept stuttering and glancing back at me, she wanted me to tell her what to do and what was the best thing to say.

I shook my head, "Nozomi...don't! I'll...I'll leave, I-I'll q-quit this school if that's what you want, I've made this mess-"

Nozomi shook my shoulders, "Elicchi!"

"ELI-CHAN!" We all quieted down at Kotori's very loud yell, we saw her tearing up, about to cry any minute. Her shoulders were shaking and she was clutching the hem of her skirt tightly, making her knuckles turned white.

"Stop it...just stop it!" Tears started to trickle down from her eyes, "I...I thought you're our friend, Eli-chan..."

I could feel myself tearing up, "Kotori! That's not it..!"

"Then what is it!? You're in trouble yet you didn't talk to us!" she paused, sobbing a little, "I knew you ran yesterday, running from us while we were worried sick about you! And...and now you wanted to run again? Leaving us for good this time without telling us, your friends, anything? You're horrible!"

Her words struck me like thousands of knives. I felt a deep pain in my chest, and it made me a little hard to breathe.

I hung my head low. "I...I..."

A pair of hands grabbed me by the shoulders, I looked up a little to find Nozomi stood in front of me, her face was stern. She squeezed my shoulders a couple of times and whispered my name again and again very softly. I could only stared at her in fright, while tears threatening to fall.

"I already told you, they're your friends, I know that you wanted to hide it for our sake. But we can help you sort this out. If you won't talk, who can help you out? I alone won't be able to help you, it won't be enough." I watched her lips turned upward, "It has to be all of us, µ's is not µ's without all of us after all."

"Nozomi..."

"You're afraid that we would hate you if we know about it, right? I know, and I didn't, what makes you think that the rest won't be like that? Believe in everyone, Elicchi." She ended with her fingertips caressing my bruised cheek carefully.

I rubbed my eyes with the sleeve of my jacket, to wipe the tears that were starting to fall. They were all absolutely right. Kotori was right, if I really considered them all as friends, I would've been able to confined myself to them. And just like Nozomi said, I should've believe in them more, if they were really my friends, they wouldn't hate me just because of who I was.

In fact, real friends would've help me out.

I was too blinded on wanting to do everything on my own that I almost repeated the same mistake. Before, if I just talked to my sister about my anxieties instead of hiding with a smile, I wouldn't have lost it, I would've been able to calm down and think more clearly instead of awakening to something that I regret until now.

And I was about to run again, I was about to leave everyone behind, leave a mess untied. That would only create more problem instead of solving it, and I would really lost everything that I cared about, everything that was able to bring out my true, honest smile.

I didn't want to lose them, yet I didn't realize that my action was what could get rid of them. What I was about to do was losing them instead of protecting them, I was too blind too see something as simple as that.

"I see...I'm a fool..." I snapped my head up, staring at Nozomi as I nodded slowly, before I tilted my head to look at the principal and Kotori.

"...I will explain." I felt Nozomi let go of me with a smile on her lips and stood next to me, I looked at her and nodded confidently before I looked back at the Minamis.

I cleared my throat, "Long story short, I believe someone was setting me up, because those delinquents clearly said that I've had done something that upset them, which I clearly hadn't. Hence their actions."

Principal Minami raised an eyebrow, "And?"

I took a deep breath before continuing, "My actions after that...well, it was my fault. I have...experience in-let's just say-martial arts, and so I did self-defense. But I went overboard due to...adrenaline, I guess." I finished with a gulp, I didn't exactly lie, but I wasn't being completely honest either.

It wasn't like I still wanted to run, I just didn't want to tell the rest honestly to anyone else besides those who I really considered as friend. I've had decided that I would confessed everything, including my past, but only to my friends, all of µ's members.

Principal Minami stared at me wordlessly, eyes squinted. I watched her glanced at her daughter, she looked like she was thinking about something, before she looked back at me.

She sighed, her expression soften, "...I understand." My face lit up, then she continued, "But, you better speak of this matter with my daughter-your group, since this might cause trouble towards your group's name, and our school's name. I insist that you-including you, Toujou-san-stay put inside your clubroom, I will call the rest to come to the room."

"Principal..!" I bowed down, lower than usual to express my gratitude. It seemed that she understood that I still wanted to keep the details private, but still willing to do anything to clear this mess.

Still bowing down, I spoke again, "I deeply apologize for the mess I made, I...I will do anything to clear it."

"Good, and for your information, this video has in fact become viral and many students and people outside this school is gossiping about it already. I will help you out by trying to spread the rumor that this video is a hoax, but it won't be enough until you find the mastermind."

I stood up straight, then nodded at her. Then I glanced at Kotori, to find her smilling at me, looking pretty satisfied at my decision. She approached me and encircled her arms around me, hugging me tightly.

"I'm glad Eli-chan!" Kotori exclaimed, happy that I decided not to leave everyone behind, happy that she won't lose me. Despite having already seen that horrible video, she still wanted me to stay, she didn't want me to leave nor was she disgusted by me. In fact, she wanted to know everything about me and willing to help me sort it out.

I glanced at Nozomi and smiled at her in gratitude, she just nodded at me and smiled back, as if saying 'I told you so'.

Nozomi was absolutely right.

The three of us were sitting in the clubroom together. Kotori kept asking me if I were okay, and if my wounds felt hurt, I answered honestly that it felt hurt but I was okay nonetheless.

Then she asked whether there was something more to my story, in which I respond with a simple nod.

"I'll explain when everyone's presence is here."

Right after I said that, the clubroom's door swung open. There appeared the rest of µ's member, all shocked right at the moment they saw my wounds. All made haste to approach me and kept asking if I were okay. But I noticed that they kept a certain distance from me, despite their questions, they also looked pretty...stiff, for friends that were worried.

Probably the video, they must've had watched it. They have seen a side of me that they never thought exist, worse, I never talked to them about such thing. They were probably wondering who I really was, and which side was Ayase Eli.

And probably wondering whether I was the good girl they knew or was I a criminal.

"Stop pitying her." Came a voice filled with anger, which I recognized as Nico's. I brought my eyes towards the source of the voice, I just realized that she wasn't surrounding me like the rest, instead she stood there, far away from us and crossing her arms, glaring at me all the while.

Everyone stopped the questions abruptly and turned towards her.

Rin raised an eyebrow, "Nico-chan...?"

"Like I said, stop pitying her, don't you know she's ruining our group's name? We have Love Live coming up! And our rank dropped drastically thanks to her!" She said bitterly as she pointed at me accusingly. I flinched, but I didn't deny that at all, since she was right, µ's probably have less chance to get into Love Live now thanks to my action.

Umi stepped forward to confront her, "Nico! That's rude of you to say-"

"Am I wrong?" She gritted her teeth and glared at me once again, "Eli, am I wrong?" I was opening and closing my mouth like a fish that was having a hard time to breath.

Nozomi stood up from her seat, "Nicocchi, you don't know what she's been through! You can't just say-"

"AND YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE, ABOUT TO LOSE A GROUP YOU LOVE AGAIN!" Her yell echoed around the room, it felt like a sharp knife to me. It stabbed me right in the bullseye.

Nico was afraid, very afraid.

She had lost her school idol group once, at her first year, she had tried to recruit again so many times and failed everytime. At first she was very adamant about it, until the third year. I noticed how she shut herself away in the clubroom, seemingly had given up.

All alone, bitter, and lost to the harsh reality.

Just like me, she knew what it meant to try your hardest and fail miserably everytime. I forgot, she was actually very similar to me, the only difference was that she didn't lose it like I did, she was very strong, despite whatever that happened to her, she smiled in the end.

Just like her name, she was made to smile, even if the world was betraying her, she would still try to smile. Fake smile or not, to live up to her name.

What I did made her feel like she was about to lose something that she thought she had finally got it; her dreams. If I were to run for real, it would most definitely ruin this poor soul. If I ran for real, I wouldn't be protecting these girls at all, I would've ruined them instead, like Nico here.

µ's would be gone, and she would lose her chance at-yet again-getting her dreams to become an idol. Despite her unfathomable ability to smile at any situation, she had her limits, even Nico might become broken someday, or soon.

She might even follow my steps, which was something completely horrifying to even think about.

I blinked when I saw her approached me without saying another word, I lifted my head up when she stood by where I sat down. Then without warning, she lifted her right hand and slapped me hard right on my bruised cheek.

A surge of incredible pain could be felt as my head thrown to the right, I groaned in utter pain and held my cheek that felt like it was burning all over.

"NICO-CHAN!" Maki yelled as she threw her arms around the smaller girl and pulled her away from me. Nico thrashed around in Maki's embrace, eyes flooding in tears now, and she sobbed uncontrollably.

"That's for your actions!" Nico sobbed hardly before continuing, "And...And for not believing us to help you out, and ran like a coward yesterday...!" Nico stopped struggling in Maki's embrace, instead she just kept sobbing and crying profusely. Then afterward she eventually slide down to the floor, kneeling helplessly, Maki just looked down at her, looking worried and unsure of what to do.

I couldn't feel mad at her for hitting me at all, I understand why she was very angry. And that hit she gave me felt right somehow, I deserved that, I deserved many beatings for my recklessness, and for making a mess and cause troubles for my friends.

With my hand still rubbing my throbbing cheek, I stood from my chair and knelt down in front of Nico.

"I'm sorry, Nico..." I whispered to her as I embraced her. I could feel her hitting my back a couple of times as a resistance to my hug.

She sobbed again, and hiccuped for crying too much. She tried to break out of my arms, but I tightened the hug so she couldn't. She fought hard, hitting me here and there as she whimpered and tears started to damped my jacket.

Then not long after she finally gave up, she stopped struggling and clutched my jacket tightly instead.

"Take...responsibility!" She said with a very weak voice and a small hit on my back.

"I know...I'm going to."

She sobbed, "Eli I..." She paused, breathing in deeply, she seemed to be a bit calmer, "I'm...I'm sorry...hitting you was unnecessary." She pulled back a little bit to look at me in the face, her eyes darted to my bruised cheek, then she cringed at it, and she looked guilty.

I rubbed her back, to calm her even more, "It's okay Nico, I deserved it, and it didn't hurt as much as a real punch anyways." I laughed hesitantly, I tried to lighten the situation up even though I know the joke I just made couldn't be taken lightly. I glanced around to find the rest was stiffening so bad they look like a statue instead.

I released my arms from Nico and pulled back, then Maki knelt down behind Nico and pulled Nico to her, making Nico's back leaning on Maki. I noticed that Nico muttered her gratitude to Maki but Maki just scoffed at Nico, eyebrow frowning all the while. Maki looked angry at Nico, but I knew that she was just feeling really worried about her, but she didn't want to be honest about it.

While taking a deep breath, I stood up, I took a last glance to Nico before I stared at the rest of µ's. Then I glanced knowingly at Nozomi, she nodded slightly before she walked towards the door to close it, and leaned her back on the door.

"I wanted to explain about what really happened yesterday, and also my entire background for my...uncharacteristic action, as you all would say."

Everyone's but Nozomi's shocked faces were to be expected. I hid the real story of my past so well that it almost sounded like a fairy tale to them. They really had no idea that I used to be this really cruel of a person who loved violence. I wasn't just a fail ballerina, I was also a delinquent. I was so bad that I was pretty well known in the 'underground', as Chika.

The 'underground' didn't know who Ayase Eli was, they didn't even know that Ayase Eli and Chika was the same person. All they know was there was this lone wolf that had terrifying skill in brawling, and this crazy girl was called 'Chika'.

The more I won in a brawl, the more well known I was, and the more people or gangs wanted to defeated me, but to no avail.

I used to be able to take on a handful of people at the same time, due to my vast knowledge of human's body, I knew a couple of weak spots. It gave me a lot of advantage when I was fighting, not only I used my fist, I also used my brain. This made me able to defeat them in no time, and that was why I could take on a handful of people without losing much stamina.

Though I didn't know if at the moment those people still remember me, it was years ago, and I disappeared without a trace. Just up and gone, 'The fierce and terrifying Chika' disappeared in thin air, leaving pools of blood and a small tale behind.

Then I saw a hand shot up, I glanced at the owner of the hand; Umi, "Eli...I apologize if my question offends you in some way but...have you ever, you know, got arrested?"

I raised an eyebrow at the odd question, "Fortunately...no, I'm a fast runner."

Umi shot her hand up again, "What did your sister think? Was she...afraid of you? I mean...you were...a criminal."

"Umi-chan!" Kotori hit Umi's shoulder, then Umi shot me an apologized look and bowed down her head.

I was taken aback at the question, "Well...she was, and she didn't support it, of course. But she knew I was stubborn and she knew very well why I acted like that." I frowned a little bit before continuing, "For your information, I am not proud of what I did, I regret it until now."

"I am very sorry Eli, it was rude of me." Umi bowed down a couple of times.

I waved my hands, "No, it's okay, I did say that I will tell all of you everything, no more secrets."

"So, basically, you were just venting all your stress back then, Eli-chan?" Came a voice from the leader of µ's, Honoka. She had a shocked face a moment ago, but it was replaced by a curious one.

I nodded hesitantly, "Uhm...yes, you could say that."

"Oh, so it was only like that? Are you still stressed out Eli-chan?"

I shook my head, "No, not at all, especially ever since I joined µ's. Being in this group really has reawakened my old passion to dance, it's not ballet, but I'm having fun nonetheless."

My lips turned upward, memories of all the fun things that happened ever since I joined µ's began to replaying in my head.

"Then!" Honoka stood up from her seat, "Welcome to µ's Eli-chan! I don't care who you were, what happened in the pas was what made you into who you are today! And today, the Ayase Eli that I know is my inspiration! I wanted to be able to dance as good as you!"

Umi sighed, "Honoka, she is already in µ's..." then Umi smiled at her friend's odd action.

"Ah, right, then uhm...welcome back? I still like you despite knowing your past Eli-chan, aren't you all too?" She stared at the other expectantly, I could only able to look at her in utter disbelief.

"Agreed nyaa!" Rin stood up in enthusiasm.

The brown, short haired girl next to Rin also stood up, "To be honest I-I was kinda scared but...I still like Eli-chan!"

Maki stood from her seat slowly, "I...I don't hate you that's for sure..." She said as she twirled her hair.

Umi stood up straight, before bowing a little bit, "Again I apologize for my offensive questions, and yes, I respect you very much for being honest with us, Eli. It takes courage to be able to do so."

Kotori followed suit, "I'm glad that you didn't leave us in the dark just like that, and talked to us about it instead, you are our precious friend, Eli-chan!"

I watched Nico, expecting her to follow the rest, but she still sat down with a glare on her face, the rest stared at her expectantly. Nico's eyebrow knitted together tightly before she stood up, hitting her palm at the table while doing so.

She pointed accusingly at me, "You better work harder! Being an idol is not the same as fighting! It takes more than just physical!" Her eyes began to water, then she blinked a couple of times to not let herself cry again, "...And you better not run again whenever you have problems, don't underestimate Yazawa Nico's skill at giving a piece of my mind-I mean advice!"

Nozomi then stood from her seat, she caressed Nico's shoulder with one hand, making Nico puffed out her cheeks, and her other hand was holding a tarot card. She stared at it before she turned her head to me, a very gentle smile appeared on her face.

"I told you, Elicchi, we're with you."

Honoka clapped her hands, "C'mon everyone! One, two..."

"Welcome back, Ayase Eli!" Everyone said in union, a wide smile broke on my face, I couldn't help but feelling so many happiness seeping into me. I really did expect that they would reject me badly, until now.

I admit defeat, these girls had defeated me completely. They were always unexpected, they were the definition innocence, they brought a blinding happiness that could overwhelm the dark sorrow of my past. It was mysterious, they felt like angels of salvation at the moment.

My past was supposed to be something everyone would be afraid of, something that everyone would've hate. It may be true to other people, but not to these girls. They didn't judge my past as fast and as bad as the common people would. They would knit their eyebrows at it, but they didn't leave it just like that, they were willing to cope up with it, and helped me.

I heard Umi cleared her throat, it drew everyone's attention to her. She asked everyone to take a seat again, and her face turned serious.

"At the moment...we have a matter at hand. From what Eli told us, it is possible that there was someone who set her up, to ruin our group's name, by doing something upsetting to those delinquents yesterday, using Eli's name. Does anyone have any idea who it might be? Any rumors at all?"

Nico shot her hand up, "Right when I found that video online, I immediately search for any rumor regarding it. I found no suspicious rumor, only speculations whether the video was real or not, and some flaming on our group, but no, I didn't found anything about this 'setting up' stuff."

Hanayo brought her hand up hesitantly, "M-Maybe the one who record it and upload it is the mastermind? I mean, it feels too convenient...somehow."

I nodded at Hanayo, "That's what I thought too, now the problem is, how to know who the uploader and the person who filmed it is?"

Maki lifted her hand not too high, but obvious that she had something to say, "...Do I need to find a hacker? My dad might have a connection-"

I shook my head, "No, that's a bit too much...illegal, too, it might get us in more trouble."

Nico sighed, "Well, if you ask me, it's hard to pinpoint the mastermind, being an idol alone makes us have many enemies around automatically. Especially with Love Live coming up, and our rank used to be sky-rocketing, many would've feel jealous, and desperate." She said as she shrugged.

"But is there any particular people that hates us that much that they'd do something this dirty nyaa?" Rin tilted her head.

"Y-You know...fans are scary sometimes when it comes to their 'sacred' idol." Hanayo twiddled her index fingers.

Everyone fell silent, trying to think of who might be the mastermind. A minute later Honoka shot her hand up, everyone looked at her questioningly, anxious if she had something in mind that might give us a clue.

"I'm just wondering...won't there be anyone from Eli-chan's past that still held a grudge on her?"

I laughed bitterly, "Many-" I widen my eyes, a thought came across in my mind, "...wait..."

I just remembered, nobody in the 'underground' knew who I was, nobody knew that Ayase Eli, and Chika was of the same person. Nobody in the underground even knew that Ayase Eli exist, they only knew Chika.

Nobody except-

I heard a cellphone ringing, when I could feel a vibration in my pocket, I realized that it was my phone that was receiving a call. I shuffled my hand into my pocket to grab it. I raised an eyebrow when I saw the caller's ID.

"Arisa...?" I muttered under my breath.

This was odd, obviously it wasn't lunchtime yet, so it's impossible for her to called me at this kind of time. Maybe she excused herself to the bathroom to check how was I doing? I knew she was worried about me, wounded and all.

Still feeling confused, I pick it up, "Arisa? What's wrong? You don't have to worry about me you know, I'm fine."

After a couple of seconds, I didn't hear any reply from the other side of the line, this made me knitted my eyebrows in confusion. I waited for another couple of seconds, but there was still none.

Growing impatient, I spoke again, "Hello, Arisa?"

"Privyet, Chika. (Hello, Chika)"

I felt everything stopped for me, my heartbeat, my breathing, my mind, I felt everything stopped the second I hear that voice. It was the voice of someone I didn't want to hear again, the voice of someone I really hate.

The voice of the only one who knew Chika's identity.

"Balalaika! " I growled to the person at the other end of the line. My sudden harsh tone drew everyone's attention, they all stared at me in bewilderment. Crap, they weren't used to this side of mine yet, I should calm down.

But it was very hard, I couldn't help but feeling increasingly furious listening to the voice of the person who kidnapped my sister years ago.

"Chika, it has been a long time. How are you?" I heard her sniggered lowly and evilly, this caused me to get even more furious. Couldn't handle the unbearable flame of anger anymore,

I clenched my fist as tight as I could and I slammed my fist upon the table, this caused the others to gasp.

Everything finally clicked together, Balalaika was the leader of a gang that was responsible in Arisa's kidnapping back at Russia. She was cruel, and cold blooded, she was feared by the other gangs due to her and her underlings ability in a fist to fist fight. Not to mention, her gang was the kind that didn't hesitate to showered themselves in blood, sending people to hospital with severe wounds everyday.

Her skills were on par with me, it was not easy to get Arisa back, I had to endure the most painful torture for a long time to be able to get my sister back from her. But I was able to defeat her. Was this what this was all about? She seek for revenge?

Everything made sense now, not only she wanted to beat the crap out of me, she wanted to humiliate me, she wanted my peaceful life gone, she wanted to ruin me inside out without mercy.

And now, she took my sister again.

"You! It was you, blyad! (bitch)" I clenched so hard that I dug my nails into my palm, "Where's my sister? What did you do to her!?"

"Oh, her? I wrapped her up nicely as another...gift, from Russia with love, just like that video of yours." An intimidating laugh entered my ear, this made my whole body shook.

No, I didn't want to believe this, for the second time I actually put my little sister in danger, again?

What kind of an older sister I am?

I had to deal with this woman quick, I had to wrap up this matter once and for all so that nobody will ever get hurt again. Enough with running away, I didn't want to cause more trouble, I didn't want anyone to suffer because of my sins again.

"Where. Is. She? You fucking-"

"Watch your mouth, Chika, you want me to strip her off of her innocence?"

I widen my eyes at her statement, "Don't you fucking dare Balalaika, don't involve my sister in this bullshit of yours!"

"Listen to you, pleading like that, ti zhalobniy (you're pathetic). You used to be this terrifying lone-wolf that always bites instead of barking, and you used to dance in blood, not in spotlight, Chika."

"Zatknis' (Shut the hell up), get to the point!" I growled angrily, my whole body was shaking in anger, it was so bad that I really wanted to just threw the phone on the floor and stomped it repeatedly.

"She can't talk right now, that little runt of yours, and you only have 2 hours to save her, or else...well, she might showers in hundreds of scissors from a bucket."

I gasped, what the fuck was she doing with my sister? What did she mean she might showers in hundreds of scissors from a bucket? What kind of torture she gave to my sister!?

"Mudak...! (Asshole)"

"Hey now, I'm going to send you...a map, of sort, being the nice girl I am."

"Balalaika-"

"Shush now, enjoy the gift, my dear little Chika." And then she cut off the line before I could even say anything more.

I gritted my teeth, I put my phone down to the table harshly before I use both my fist to slam the table with all my might, grunting in the process. From the corner of my eyes I could see everyone staring at me in disbelief, not used to seeing this crude side of me, and they were also looked confused, probably because I was talking and yelling in Russian.

Then I saw Nozomi standing up and went over to my side. She slowly touch my arm, hesitant whether or not it was a good idea to speak to someone in such anger state.

"E-Elicchi...what's wrong? Was that...Arisa-chan?" She asked, her hesitant voice hinting that she felt scared to talk to me.

I fell silent for a couple of seconds, still shaking in anger. I was trying to register that this was really happening, that my old enemy held my sister captive yet again, and that my sister's life was in danger.

My phone buzzed, I snapped my head and grab my phone and opened the mail quickly. There I found a picture of a map, and there was a red dot on one place, and she also gave me a message in russian; 'This is only the first part, you still have many left. Run Chika, run'

Nozomi squeezed my arm, "Elicchi...?"

I hung my head low, grunting, I threw the phone harshly on the table again, "Nozomi..."

"Yes...?"

"It was the mastermind, she has my sister."

I heard her gasped, and soon the others too, I lifted my head and stared at them to find everyone looking terrified. I hit the table one last time before standing up, grabbing my cellphone and darted towards the door.

I was about to exit the clubroom, but a a hand grabbed me by the wrist. I grunted and pulled my hand to escape from that grip, but I couldn't, I turned my head and stared at the culprit, to find Umi was glaring at me.

"Let go Umi, I have to move immediately or else my sister will-"

"I won't, not when you are hot headed and being reckless, this might be a trap!"

"Trap or not, I have to deal with Balalaika."

"So, it appears that you recognize the mastermind, I supposed that she's an old enemy of yours?"

Again I tried to pull my wrist, "I have no time to explain, let go!" I pulled again, but then pushed me instead. I hit my back to the door behind me, and Umi had her forearm right at myneck, if she were to press that arm, she could choke me.

"Umi-chan!" Honoka yelled at her friend, she approached Umi and was about to pull her, but Umi lifted her other hand to Honoka, stopping her in her tracks.

"Eli calm down! You need to have a clear head to deal with this! And don't go alone, we can help you look for your sister!"

I gritted my teeth, "No! Bringing harm to my friends' way is the last thing I want! Let me go by myself!"

"At least bring me with you, I know real martial arts. I also experts in Kendo!"

"Wha-"

"Elicchi, I saw that the mastermind sent you a map, no? Let us help you navigate to the place from here, it's much faster since we have more heads in here, and a computer!" Nozomi said, looking at me pleadingly. I slowly calming down, Nozomi's idea was good, that much I understand.

"Eli-chan! We can help you, if you don't want us to come, we understand, but let us help!" Honoka uttered as she approached me as she gave me an assuring look.

Umi let go of my neck and stepped back, "That's what she said, but I'm still coming, it's better to have another people with you."

I really don't want to, but I couldn't stop Umi, could I? Umi was persistent, and she had a good argument, I couldn't retort back.

"Eli! I'm coming with you too!" I heard the red headed first year said, I was about to say no, but then she abruptly dashed to me.

"I...I have pepper spray and a stun gun in my back, so I don't need much skill for self-defense." She said with a determined look, I closed my mouth immediately when she said that.

"Eli, please, let us help, you're our friend and we are willing to help you with everything we got." Umi said as she touched my arm.

I groaned, giving up at their persistence, "...Fine." At this they both stared at each other and nodded.

I sighed exasperatedly, my eyes wondered to the rest of µ's, each pair of eyes have a very determined look, each wanting to help me in any way and with everything they got. I just couldn't stop these girls, they could just give up and let me do it myself, but they didn't.

For some reason my heartbeat went back to it's normal state, and I calmed down.

They really are my friends, my precious friends. And I will protect them, I will let them help me, and they had to let me protect them too, especially Umi and Maki whom coming with me to the dangerous road.

Arisa, wait for me-no...

Wait for us, we will find you and we will save you.

TO BE CONTINUED

A/N:

Yeah, it's Balalaika from Black Lagoon, I had to borrow her because she's Russian, and she's evil as frick.

And I'm really sorry for my gratuitous Russian, if you are Russian or speak Russian, please do tell me if there's a mistake.

Don't worry, I'm planning to explain more of Eli's background when she was still Chika.

See ya in the next chapter!