A/N: Hello, and welcome to Ultimate Homos! As you can see, this story is called Burdens of Ignorance. This is going to be my main focus for... I don't know, until I finish it, maybe? And I'm planning quite a number of chapters for you guys!
Remember this: Readers are friends, reviewers are best friends!
Another thing is that I am – once again – saying a big thanks to QueenofCorsica222 for my motivation! 3
Anyways, let's get reading! Shall we? *Takes your hand into the world of HikaKao and poetry*
Hikaru's POV
I'm trusting myself
To remain
Intact
But my thoughts
Say otherwise...
It's not being narcissistic when I can spot so many differences, like how he's so graceful, kind, and altogether more beautiful than I am. Then he has his side that nearly nobody knows about, where he can get a little like me. Just a little, for he has a reputation of "uke" to maintain.
I wish he was my uke for real...
I shuddered at my disturbing thoughts. Though I have accepted my feelings for Kaoru, I still can't believe that I feel this. I mean, it's forbidden for crying out loud. Who knows the dangers? The risks? But then again, the pleasure?
Ah, screw my thoughts. Love is pretty hard to control. I mean, it was pretty unbelievable that I fell in love with Haruhi before. Look at what I could have been missing out on if I started dating her!
I'm assuming too much. Look at what I could have been missing out on? Who am I to think he feels the same way? Though... I hope he does.
I'm pulled away from my thoughts when I hear that voice.
"Hikaru? Earth to Hikaru...!" Kaoru called.
"Oh! Sorry, Kaoru... what is it?" I asked.
"It's time to head to the club, Hikaru," Kaoru answered.
"Oh," I said. It's time for the Host Club? Already?
The Host Club actually used to be quite an enjoyable place for me. Because of the club, Kaoru and I started opening up to other people, while still being together. No abandonment - I would never think of it! Also, I got to get close to Haruhi, and though I don't like her that way anymore, she's still an amazing friend. But now, the Host Club kinda is a pain. Mainly because... well, I think it's obvious. The "Brotherly Love Act". It's only an act, though I wish it was way more. But, who knows if Kaoru feels the same...
The pain I get from that thought is like 20 machetes stabbing my chest simultaneously. Every. Single. Time. And I think about that a lot. I'm surprised I haven't been metaphorically killed.
I didn't say a word as Kaoru, Haruhi and I walked up to Music Room 3. That raised a bit of suspicion between the other 1st years, I could tell.
"Hikaru, why aren't you saying anything?" Kaoru asked. I could hear that he indeed sounded concerned. That made me feel good, though I know he has always cared.
"I'm just thinking about things..." I said. Wow, what a dumb reply...
"What kinds of things?" OH MY GOD, KAORU IS SO CUTE WHEN HE YEARNS FOR THINGS! Just imagine his face when he yearns for me to-
Whoa. What am I thinking?
"Hikaru? Are you gonna answer me?" Kaoru's voice brought me out of my thoughts again.
I trembled a little. "Heh, sorry..." I said. "I was just thinking about... … …"
Kaoru spoke again before I could finish. "It's okay if you don't wanna tell me about your erotic thoughts of Haruhi, Hikaru," he said.
Now that. That makes me angry. He thinks I still Haruhi in that way! "I don't like Haruhi that way!" I said, face red with anger.
Haruhi must have thought the red tint to my face was embarrassment. "I'm just gonna go ahead..." she mumbled, walking away from us.
I quickly glared at Kaoru, and we kept on walking.
Though it may be clear, I must say I now get distracted easily, starting from when I accepted my feelings...
You make it
So hard
For me to
Keep up
Kaoru...