I hate that it's taken me so long to update this. Like no matter what I wrote it wouldn't ever be worthy of such a long hiatus like good lord why did this take me so long to write.

FINALLY THE SONG THE SONG THAT THIS WHOLE DAMN STORY HAS BEEN BASED ON

YOU GOTTA GET ON YOUTUBE AND LOOK IT UP

I'm sorry it took so long to update but damn life happens and I just wasn't feeling like writing for a long time so I'm sorry

Hikaru head was killing him as he tried to sit up. He gave up after the first attempt, deciding to return back to the warmth that was his bed.

"Headache?" He heard a voice ask and his eyes snapped open to see Xavier leaning over him. His hair was messy and he looked like he had just woken up too. Hikaru nodded his head slowly and ignored Xavier's small smirk as the blond got out of bed and left the room. Hikaru pulled the covers over his head, wondering what happened last night.

He and Xavier still had their clothes, so obviously nothing of that nature happened. He remembered arguing with Garrett but over what, he wasn't sure of. His head hurt far too much to try and figure it all out now.

"Come on now," he heard Xavier say and pull the comforter off of Hikaru's face. He whined but took the water and pill that was handed to him and swallowed both swiftly before pulling up the covers again. "Fine fine, go back to bed if you must."

"Urgggggggggggg," Hikaru groaned once he woke up again, a few hours later. His headache was dull at this point, but he still didn't feel all that great.

"Mornin, sunshine," Xavier greeted him, sitting upright on the bed next to him, messing with his phone.

"You stayed?" Hikaru questioned, parts of the night before flooding back into his memory. He was embarrassed that he practically begged Xavier to be there when he woke up, but he was happy that he did. "Thanks…I didn't make a fool of myself last night, right?"

"No no, you definitely did not. You had a good time," Xavier replied, putting his phone in his pocket. "C'mon, you need to get up and eat something." Hikaru made no effort to move, making Xavier sigh. "Such a lazy bum, yeah?"

"No no no!" Hikaru exclaimed as Xavier pulled him off the bed and picked him up, holding him over his shoulder. "God I think I'm going to puke, Zav," he was set down on the living room couch and immediately laid down on it, groaning.

"Prince Hikaru is finally awake?" Yuukio questioned from the kitchen and Hikaru weakly flipped her off and sat up to glare at her. Xavier leaned against the kitchen island, amused by this. "You had a long night last night."

"I guess? I don't remember a big chunk of it?" Hikaru questioned and Yuukio looked at Xavier worriedly and sipped her tea. He heard Kaoru get out of the shower and stretched, realizing he probably needed to shower as well. "Why? Did something happen?"

"Well—" Yuukio started before a knock at the door interrupted her. She went to answer it and Hikaru looked to Xavier for an explanation of last night's events.

"I fought with Garrett, didn't I?" He asked and Xavier nodded his head and was going to say more when Garrett entered the apartment. "Garrett?"

"Hikaru!" Garrett exclaimed and hurried over to the couch, momentarily glaring at Xavier before turning his full attention on Hikaru. "I'm sorry about the things I said last night, I didn't mean any of them."

"Then why did you say them in the first place?" Xavier asked, not pleased with his presence. "Why are you here?"

"To speak to my boyfriend, and I'm not sorry for the things I said to you," Garrett told him harshly.

"What did you say to him? What did you say to me?" Hikaru felt lost in this. He only remembered pieces but he remembered them fighting and Garrett grinding his nerves. He saw flashes of anger across Yuukio's face and full on anger on Xavier's. He couldn't remember the last time he saw Xavier so angry.

"He said vile things to Xavier!" Yuukio almost shouted, refusing to let Garrett try to smooth things over with Hikaru.

"He deserved it!" Garrett replied, not bothering to hide his hatred of Xavier. "He's always getting in the way of our relationship," he turned to Hikaru as he said this.

"Xavier is never like that," Hikaru told Garrett, only further frustrating the male.

"Yes he is! It's because he's in love with you and I'm in the way," Garrett ranted and it went silent. Kaoru came out of his room dressed, pausing as he took in the scene before him. Hikaru paused as well, his heart was starting to race.

Xavier was in love with him?

After all this time?

Hikaru looked to Xavier, who was staring at his phone on the counter, biting his lip. He looked back to Garrett and shook his head, no way was Xavier in love with him. "Garrett, you're wrong, he—"

"Hikaru," Xavier interrupted him, now looking up. His jaw was tight and he looked like he might break his phone in half. "He's right," Xavier sighed deeply, not wanting it to go this way. "I do love you."

"Oh my," Yuukio said under her breath, looking back and forth from Hikaru who wore a shocked expression, and Xavier who looked exhausted.

"However, I am not trying to push him out of the picture, even though he's quite the ass and you deserve far better. I want you happy, even if it means you're happy with somebody else. You're my best friend above everything and I refuse to let my selfishness ruin your chance at happiness." Xavier said as he slid his phone into his jacket pocket. "I'm sorry, I know the timing is utter shit, but you don't have to say anything. I'm not doing this for a response, I'm doing it to be honest with my feelings for once," he looked away, averting his eyes from Hikaru's stare. "I should probably go. I've got a plane to catch and you've got him to deal with…I'll talk to you later." With that, he nodded and left in a rush.

"Xavier?" Yuukio questioned and hurried after him, knowing Hikaru couldn't do it himself.

Xavier took the stairs because waiting for the elevator would take too long and Yuukio would catch up to him. He made it into the lobby right as the elevator dinged and Yuukio stepped out, right on his heels.

"Xavier!" She shouted and he sighed, slowing down to let her catch up to him as they made it out of the building and onto the busy sidewalk. She grabbed a hold of his arm tightly, making sure he couldn't get away. "What the hell? Why did you leave?"

"How could I have stayed?" He asked, running his fingers through his hair. "I had to be honest with him Yuukio, it was eating me up and Dove said he still loves me and I had to take a chance with it. I was going to tell him in private but then Garrett showed up and I couldn't let him get Hikaru back, I just couldn't." He rambled, feeling panicked. "I know it wasn't a good call but I had a burst of energy and I had to do it before I chickened out. Again. I have to give him space and time to think, I won't sit there and demand an answer. He needs to figure out what to do about Garrett and think about what it's going to be like to date me. I'm ready but is he?"

"Of course he is!"

"Being long distance friends is hard enough, but can you imagine a relationship? Hikaru is a physical person and sometimes I won't be able to fulfill that role because I'm touring or in California working on music. It's not easy and I'm not expecting him to want to do it. I had to be honest with him and myself, even if the feelings aren't returned," he looked at the street as a black SUV pulled up. The door opened to reveal Vinny leaning over the seats

"We're goin' miss our flight if you don't get in now!" He called and Xavier gave Yuukio a quick peck on the cheek.

"I've got to go, be good, crumpet," Yuukio watched Xavier get into the car and it pull out, mixing with all the other cars on the street.

Yuukio re-entered the apartment. Hikaru's eyes went to the door, frowning when he only say Yuukio. He sighed, headache returning full force.

"You don't love him back, do you?" Garrett questioned, eyes on Hikaru. Hikaru had no clue how to reply to this. For so long he had been trying to fight off his feelings towards Xavier and here he was making a big mess with Garrett.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled, feeling guilty all over. "I did love him, I don't know if I still do." He saw Yuukio hurry into Kaoru's room and shut the door, trying to give them some privacy.

"So you were just using me?" Garrett asked, raising his voice as he thought about the last months of their relationship. "You never had feelings for me?"

"No! No, Garrett I do have feelings for you!" Hikaru exclaimed, looking at the male. "But Xavier…"

"Has more of your heart than I do," Garrett finished for him, lowering his voice now. "At first I just thought it was the distance that made you cling to him and talk about him all the time, but then when I met him…" Hikaru heard Garret sigh. "I knew that wasn't the case. He looks at you like you're his whole world and you look at him like he's the most amazing thing. I thought I could beat him, that I could get you to pick me, but obviously that's not going to happen."

"I'm sorry. I did want to choose you," Hikaru told him with slumped shoulders. "It was wrong of me to do this to you."

"Yeah, and it was wrong of me to say the stuff that I did last night, but we can't take it back now." Garrett stood, heading to the front door. He mumbled out a 'bye' and left, leaving Hikaru alone in the living room.

"Hey?" Kaoru popped his head out of his room, worried about his twin.

"I'll be fine. I just need time to think about it all," he looked up at Kaoru, who was now walking over to him. "Least I know where Xavier stands." He had no clue where he stood, though.

"Sure about this?" Xavier nodded his head at the stylist who was stirring up a color in a bowl. "I think it'll be nice, a good change."

"I've been blond my whole life, it'll be cool to try a new color," Xavier told her, cracking his neck as he waited for her to start.

"Fans will flip," Vinny said, sitting in the chair besides him, taking a quick snap of Xavier in the salon chair with the cape around him. "Should I do a color too? I like my hair too much to change it though."

"Do red," Xavier grinned as Vinny rolled his eyes at the suggestion. "Don't wanna look like a firetruck, mate?"

"No thanks, that might be a bit too much for me, mate." Vinny replied in a teasing manner before his face got serious. "You haven't spoken to Hikaru in a while, have you?"

"We texted a few days ago, but he's distanced himself," Xavier looked down at the phone in his lap as he felt the cold dye touch his head as the stylist started the process. "Not that I blame him, he's figuring it all out. I'd rather him be distant and seriously thinking about it rather than rushing into it and ruining it all…" he trailed off, moving his head the way the stylist asked him to. "I don't want to think about it too much. It's only been a couple of weeks and we're going to be leaving for Europe soon."

Vinny nodded his head and let the topic die, not wanting to upset Xavier. The past few weeks hadn't been easy ones. He understood why Hikaru was taking his time to figure it all out, dating Xavier was a lot to take on, but he wished he would decide soon. Xavier wasn't showing it, but he was on the edge about it. He was trying to remain calm, but he was jittery and anxious. The whole reason they were here was Xavier call for a change. He claimed the blonde was boring to him and that he wanted to do something different, hopefully it would calm him.

"Blue suits him," Yuukio smiled as Hikaru looked at pictures of Xavier's new hair on his laptop. He jumped, startled by her, before closing out of the tab with red cheeks.

"Yeah, it does," Hikaru mumbled. He had been surprised when he saw it, but it did suit him. He glanced at Yuukio to see her smiling at him and he groaned. "What?"

"Have you talk to him about it yet?" Yuukio questioned, quickly taking a seat next to him. "I know you said you didn't want to discuss it anymore, but that was weeks ago! You must have an answer by now?"

"It's a lot to think about, you know that. What if I can't take the distance? What if I can't handle the fans?" Hikaru questioned, letting out his frustrations. "Especially the fans that cling to him and say that they're going to marry him and—"

"Hikaru, you know that the only person Xavier would want to marry is you." Yuukio patted his shoulder, wishing Kaoru was here to say these things to his brother. They would mean more coming from him. She begin to rub his shoulder as he bit his lip, thinking about what she said. "We've discussed the pros and the cons and you've given it so much thought. It's time to stop denying it to yourself, you still love him."

"I do! But what if that's not enough? What if we don't make it because of all these factors? Fans? The band? The constant touring?" He stayed up so many nights driving himself up the wall just thinking about it. Yuukio had sat him down with Kaoru after everything happened and told him about Xavier's worries. At least he knew Xavier was prepared for distance and some silence from him, but he also knew that Xavier had some doubts.

"Hikaru, you'll never know until you try. Aren't you the risk taker in this group?" She questioned, trying to egg him on.

"This is Xavier we're talking about, Yuukio. I can't screw this up," he watched Yuukio sigh as he nodded his head. "So I'm going to need some help,"

"At your service!"

Xavier stretched his back, getting ready for the show. He glanced at Stella, who begin giggling and turned away from him and Isaac elbowed her, making her stop giggling.

"What's been goin' on lately?" Xavier questioned, sensing that his bandmates might be hiding something from him. He wouldn't know what they would be hiding, they told each other everything. Vinny had even been acting a little odd the past week and it made Xavier anxious. There weren't any special dates anytime soon, so what was it?

"Relax, you're imagining things," Jackal patted his back, settling his nephew's nerves. "We need to be at our best for tonight's show, it's one of the most important stops!"

"Yes sir!" Stella saluted him in a joking manner as they heard the crowd cheer as their opening act finished. "It's time to rock this!"

They all went in for a quick pep talk and moved to their positions, yet Xavier couldn't shake the feeling that something was off. Maybe it was just because this was Paris? He was thrown off by the familiarity of his home town and how it didn't feel quite as homey as California did? That couldn't be it, he performed here before and never felt like this. Maybe he was realizing that he had waited too long to be honest with Hikaru? He went about it the wrong way and any chance they had was gone. He pushed it away to the back of his mind, he didn't have time to think about this!

He heard Stella banging on the drums and he shook his head, getting in the zone.

"Alright, Alright…"

"How is everyone doing out there?" Xavier questioned, looking at all the faces staring up at them. They screamed and he smiled. "Lovely, just what I wanted to hear," he traded his guitar for an acoustic one as Stella, Vinny, and Isaac left for their small break. He looked over the crowd again and he swore he saw Hikaru. When he looked back, he was gone, but he knew he had seen him. Hikaru had been right next to Jackal and his mother.

He glanced to William on the side of the stage who was mouthing 'are you okay?' to him, noticing the change in Xavier's demeanor. He nodded his head, strumming the guitar once to get the crowd's attention once more, not like they had stopped paying him any attention in the first place.

"It's so amazing to be playing in my hometown. Every time I return, I'm always surprised at how at peace I feel here. Paris used to be such a constraining place for me, some place I could never breathe in. Not anymore, obviously. I can always breathe when I'm up here on stage, playing for you all. That's why I'm going to change it up a bit and play a different song for you, if that's alright?" He questioned, getting screams for answers. "This is one of the first 'love' songs I wrote, though it felt like unrequited love or a love I missed out on. I'm not a person to wear my heart on my sleeve, expressing my personal feelings was never something that came easily to me, so the thought of performing this song always made me cringe, so I never did."

A girl in the audience screamed and he chuckled, eyeing her. "Seems like someone knows the song. Keep it hush, dear, don't ruin the surprise for everyone," he told her, making her blush. He hoped Hikaru was actually here, that he didn't just imagine him out in the crowd. "A lot of things have changed this past couple of years, thank god, but this song never did. My feelings that I poured into it still remain and I don't know if they'll ever go away." He situated the guitar, taking a deep breath.

"This song is called 102."

"Do you think he saw me?" Hikaru questioned after Yuukio had pulled him back, out of Xavier's view. He had gotten too eager and wanted to see Xavier better, but he almost ruined the whole surprise.

"No? I think you might be okay," Monique replied, looking towards Xavier on stage. They were with the light and technology crew, a perfect spot to be if you were trying not to be seen by the act on stage. Unfortunately, the light moved and Xavier was able to see who was standing there, if only for a brief second. "Woah, he's never done this song before."

"What song is it?" Hikaru asked as Jackie flashed him a small smile.

"It's this one he wrote way back at the start, they never officially released it," Monique answered, now gripping Hikaru's hand. "You need to listen to this!"

"This song is called 102." Xavier said, nodding his head at the few screams that came from the crowd as he begin to play.

"Well we're here. We're at the common again. Smoked six of the ten fags that I only bought an hour ago. Said well I, I like the look of your shoes. I like the way that your face looks when I'm arguing with you. And so when, when we all grow old. I hope this song will remind you that I'm not half as bad as what you've been told," Xavier sang and looked directly at where Hikaru was. He kept his eyes there as he continued to play, as if he was telling Hikaru that this song was for him.

"Is this?" He questioned, only feeling Monique's hand give a soft squeeze as a response.

"And when I knock at one hundred and two and I see your pajamas, I can't stop smiling at you. And that's why we're here. We're at the common again. I've been pouring my heart out towards your optimistic grin," Hikaru held Monique's hand back, feeling like he was going to cry. Xavier sounded so raw and emotional.

"Said well I, I, I like the cut of your jib. I like the way that your face looks when you're yapping on about him. But on this shirt I found your smell and I just sat there for ages contemplating what to do with myself. I called you up at one hundred and two. We just sat there for ages talking about that boy. What was getting onto you. You," Xavier finished, slowly finishing the song and pulling his eyes from Hikaru to look at the rest of the crowd.

"Shucks, you're making me blush," he grinned as they applauded, looking embarrassed.

"Oh my god," Hikaru said, overwhelmed with feelings from the song. "Oh my god."

Xavier walked to the bus alone, everyone else apparently had something else to do before turning in for the night. He hadn't argued much, he was tired and ready for bed. The song made him happy to play, but it emotionally drained him when he remembered the state of him and Hikaru's relationship.

He unlocked the door and stepped on, stopping when he saw Hikaru sitting on the couch. Once the moment of shock set in, he reacted. "I knew I saw you out in the crowd, what the hell are ya doing here?" He questioned, the realization that Hikaru had heard him sing that song, had heard him poor out his feelings to a stadium filled with people, embarrassed him and scared him a bit. They stared at each other until Hikaru jumped into motion.

Hikaru hugged him, tightly, throwing Xavier off for a second. He hugged Hikaru back, feeling all the built up stress from the past few weeks melt away.

"I'm sorry for distancing myself for so long," Hikaru said into his shoulder, not letting Xavier go. "I had to figure it all out, I didn't want to mess this up. I missed you so much though."

"I missed you too," Xavier rubbed his back, not mad at Hikaru. "I understand why you distanced yourself, you don't have to apologize."

"I do! I worried over what could go wrong instead of what could go right. I made myself so miserable by not talking to you, all so I could protect our relationship? It took me too long to realize that I love you and I'm willing to do anything to be with you."

Xavier pulled away and stared at Hikaru, who looked to be on the verge of tears.

"I love you so much, I always have, even when you told me not to," Hikaru admitted and Xavier smiled at him, cupping his face with his hands.

"Love, when have you ever listened to what I told you?" Xavier questioned with a smirk, pleased with the small pout on Hikaru's face. "But it's not like I listened to myself, either, because I am quite in love with you still." He watched Hikaru start to cry and he quickly used his thumbs to wipe away his tears, even though he was tearing up himself. "We're a mess, yeah?" He pressed his forehead to Hikaru's, unbelievably happy.

"Yeah, the best mess," Hikaru murmured, putting his hands on Xavier's. "Kiss me?"

"God, I've been wanting to hear that for years," Xavier said before kissing him eagerly. It was better than before, all because he knew he had Hikaru all to himself.

A loud whistle behind them pulled them apart and Xavier quickly turned to see Vinny standing there, a smirk on his lips and the others behind him laughing.

"Hey! Privacy!" Hikaru exclaimed, his entire face red as he caught Kaoru in the back laughing at him.

"You won't be gettin' much of that on a bus like this," Vinny teased, stepping onto the bus. "We came to congratulate ya'll, it only took what? Three years?"

"Longer than that," Monique added, making Xavier roll his eyes. "So much pining and miscommunication."

"We're together now, so it doesn't matter, yeah?" Xavier questioned, keeping Hikaru close to him with an arm around his waist.

"Although now we'll have to listen to them talk about each other even more," Isaac said and Xavier grinned.

"Oh yes, I'm never going to shut up about you," Xavier said and blew a raspberry against Hikaru's neck, making him squeal and squirm. The others laughed as Hikaru lightly hit Xavier's arm, pouting at his new boyfriend.

"Why are you such a dick?" Hikaru questioned while the others broke off into conversation, not paying them any attention. "And why do I love you despite that? I think it's because I'm such a kind hearted person."

"Oh yes, love, you are the sweetest and most kind hearted person I have ever laid eyes on," Xavier teased, pressing a kiss to Hikaru's temple. "I'm so lucky to have someone like you by my side,"

"You're so affectionate now," Hikaru grinned at the attention, loving it. "So embarrassing, geez what will I do with you?"

"Seems like the roles are switched, but I'm sure the roles in the bedroom are the same, love," Hikaru paused as Xavier murmured it into his ear, sending shivers down his spine.

"Guess you'll just have to find out, won't you?" Hikaru replied back with a smirk, then pulled away to go talk to Kaoru.

"Love! You can't leave me hanging like that," Xavier called after him, following him quickly.