Legend: how do you politely tell someone you want to hit them with a brick

Katana: one wishes to acquaint your facial features with a fundamental item used in building walls. Repeatedly.

Legend: that's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard.

Nunchuck: I love knitting needles. I can make a scarf. I can make a hat. I can stab your eyes out. I can make mittens.

Rufus: what was that middle part?

Nunchuck: I can make a hat

Veld: What's this?

Vincent: My to-do list.

Veld: It's just a post-it note with my name on it.

Vincent: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Elena: ok guys, how do I ask someone out?

Reno: roses are red

violets are blue

guess what, my bed

has room for two

Elena: OH MY GOD NO

Reno: twinkle twinkle little star

we can do it in a car

Elena: STOP IT

Reno: row, row, row your boat

gently down the stream

merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily

I can make you scream

Tseng: I feel like that's verging dangerously close into serial killer territory

Veld: How are you holding up?

Reno: Like a good Catholic girl.

Veld: That bad, huh?

Katana: have you ever accidentally befriended someone who is very irritating

TG: I thought you said beheaded

Katana: that would not be an accident

Rod: once a gecko fell into my shirt and I screamed like a girl

Reno: once a girl fell into my shirt and I screamed like a gecko

Rude: once a shirt fell into my girl and I geckoed like a scream

TwoGuns: once a scream fell into my gecko and I girled like a shirt

Legend: once a shirt screamed into my girl and I fell like a gecko

Katana: once a girl screamed into my gecko and I fell like a shirt

Reno: Want me to give your number to a army recruiter

Legend: I don't know…do you want me to use your number to sell Gay porn on Craigslist

Reno: I sense the beginnings of a prank war that will end badly for both of us.

Reno: Anyway, why are we always talking about MY love life? What's going on between you and Elena?

Tseng: Nothing. She's a respected teammate.

Reno: Uh-huh.

Tseng: I don't have time to pursue a relationship, my work is too important to allow any distractions. Elena's a remarkable woman. She's a valued friend. She's… standing right behind me, isn't she?

Elena: Don't let that stop you. Keep digging.

"Don't ever talk to me or my 20 children ever again!"

— Veld probably

Elfe: I'm having problems with this guy.

Veld: like his dead body won't fit in this bag kind of problems or you like him problems?

Elena: Just be yourself. Say something nice.

Reno: Which one? I can't do both.

Aerith: I know you want to keep me safe, but the only way to do that is to wrap me in bubble wrap and hide me in a cave.

Tseng: Believe me, I've thought about it.

Reno: Hey, pops here comes your boyfriend.

Veld: He's not my…

Vincent: [slaps his ass, walks off]

Turks:

Veld:

Veld: Not a word