DISCLAIMER: I do not own The Lord of the Rings or the Hobbit; all rights to J.R.R. Tolkien!

Silenthunder asked, "Did you ever realize that your pick-up line with Tauriel is kinda inappropriate?"

KILI: *wink* Why do you think I said it?
"Fili, what's your favorite food?"
FILI: Well, let's see *starts to count on fingers* There's rabbit stew, that really good drink Kili gave me that one time *turns to Kili* What was it again? Oh yes, beer. And then that McDonald's down the street has really great happy meals, even if Kili always steals the toy.

NICO: I know, right? What's it with people and McDonald's toys?
ME: Thank you Silenthunder for your time and questions! :D (PS. If you don't know who Nico is, he's from Percy Jackson ;)

Lily Lindsey-Aubrey asked, "You're my favorite dwarf. I love you tons. Do you always carry around so many weapons?"
FILI: *tosses hair* Why, thank you loyal fan! And yes, I always carry around lots of weapons. Why, you ask? Because it adds 10 points to my fabulous factor!
"Did your mother make you promise that you'd bring Kili back?"
FILI: Haha, actually mother made Kili promise to bring me back. :D
"Is it hard to be as majestic as Thorin?"
FILI: Is that an insult? *sniffs air* I smell an insult.
"Kili, are you sure you should like Tauriel so much? You'll disappoint your uncle."
KILI: *looks around furtively* Who cares what uncle thinks.
THORIN: KILI!
KILI: Quick, ask your last question before he kills me!
"Do you miss your mother?"
KILI: *sniffle sniffle* Of course I do. Being dead really brings back memories, ya' know? *sees Thorin behind him* ACK! *runs away*
"You two give me all the feels (not to mention Thorin). :'( Come back to life!"
FILI: *watches as Kili runs away with Thorin chasing him with a sword* Believe me, Lily. We would if we could. It is NOT fun being dead with Thorin around. Ugh.
ME: Thank you Lily for your time and questions! :D

Thalion Estel asked, "Kili, what do you think of Peter Jackson's ridiculous romance involving you and a certain nonexistent elf?"
KILI: *wiggles eyebrows* I don't think it was such a bad move…
FILI: *glares*
THORIN: *glares*
EVERYONE: *glares*
KILI: …
KILI: …
KILI: Okay, so maybe no one else thinks so.
"Are you really close to your brother, or does he annoy the heck out of you, or both?"
KILI: I think a little of both. Ya' know, typical siblings.
ME: Thank you Estel for your time and questions! :D

EchoSentient asked, "Who the hell named you two?"
KILI & FILI: My mother. *looks at each other* Our mother.
FILI: Kili, stop saying everything at the exact same time as me!
KILI: No, you stop saying everything at the exact same time as me!
FILI: No, you—
ME: Okay, enough boys. *glares* Thank you Echo for your time and question! :D

Pip the Dark Lord of All asked, "Fili, hat did you think of the way Peter Jackson portrayed your death in the movie? Were you mad because he didn't let you die with Thorin?"
FILI: First of all, I felt totally wronged. I mean, if I'm gonna die, kill me decently. Not just stab me in the back and toss me off a cliff. That's just…wrong. Was I mad because I didn't get to die with Thorin? Actually, not really. The main reason is probably because I'm gonna have to live with him for the rest of my dead life now, so I might as well have some Me Time, even if it is while I die. The other reason is because Thorin blames the oldest for everything, you know? *talks in falsetto voice* Fili, why did you break that glass? Fili, why did you let me die? Fili, Fili Fili!
ME: Calm down, Fili.
"Kili, did you have any hidden weapons the elves never found?"
KILI: *looks around* Actually, there was one. I hid it down my pants. See, I wasn't actually lying to Tauriel when I told her I could have anything down my trousers. ;)
"We're you mad when you found out there was a made up elf in the movie who you love?"
KILI: *winks* Not as much as Kili and Thorin.
"Do you realize a lot of the dwarfish weapons in the movies would not work well in a real battle?"
KILI: Huh, really? Never thought of it.
FILI: *shoves Kili out of the way* I did. See, I'm the weapons expert, and I IMMEDIATELY knew that those weapons were a no-no. *looks smug*
"When you first met Bilbo, did you think he would make a good burglar?"
FILI: Hmm…when we first met Bilbo? You know, I don't think I really thought anything. I was kind of…uh…preoccupied. With my drink.
KILI: Yes. I had COMPLETE confidence in Bilbo as a burglar!
FILI: Yeah, right. *rolls eyes sarcastically*
"What did you think when you found out the ponies were missing?"
KILI: Well, you know that sinking feeling you get when you realize you're in trouble? Well, first it was that, then this weird feeling that said I should have been paying more attention to them—
FILI: That was me saying that, Kili.
KILI: But it was you who suggested we thumb wrestle!
FILI: Humph.
KILI: Anyways, then we devised this totally awesome plant to have Bilbo run in and risk his butt for us and save the day!
BILBO: Thanks a lot.
FILI & KILI: You're welcome!
"What did you think of Thranduil? Did you like his swords? Or his elk?"
KILI: Elf scum. Buttkick awesome. No.
FILI: I think what he means to say is, no he strongly detested Thranduil—your girlfriend's father I might add *glares at Kili*—He thinks his swords could kick some butt and they're totally cool and he wants some, and he's allergic to elk.
KILI: Fili! I didn't want anyone to know I was allergic!
"Did you think Bard had the real Arkenstone?"
KILI: No, he didn't! See, it was actually a fake that Bilbo secretly forged, and when he sneaked out that night he gave it to Gandalf, who used his magical power stuff to make it glow, then Bard tried to pass it off as the real one. And then when Thorin found out, he—
FILI: Yes, we think it's real.
"Where did those goats come from in the movie?"
FILI: The goats? Oh yeah, the goats. Umm…we borrowed them from Old MacDonald.
KILI: Oh, he's the one with the happy meals!
"Do you realize they look a lot like tauntauns?"
KILI: Space, the final frontier. These are the voyages of the Star Trek Enterprise. It's continuing mission: to seek out new life on new civilizations, to boldly—"
FILI: That's Star Trek, Kili. Not Star Wars.
KILI: Oh.
"Do you want a battle pig?"
FILI: I've already got one. *points at Kili*
KILI: Hey!
"Is this your ghosts getting interviewed? Because you're both dead."
FILI: Yes, this is.
KILI: I'm offended.
ME: Thank you Pip for your time and questions! :D

Jessicaelvenprincess asked, "Which of you would win in a fight?"
KILI: Me.
FILI: Me.
KILI & FILI: *glares*
"Who can do a better impression of Thorin?"
FILI: Kili does it best. He's got the dark hair and snooty attitude and all.
KILI: Hey!
FILI: What? The truth hurts.
KILI: *pouts*
"What do you think of your fangirls?"
FILI: *grins* Well, I think they're absolutely charming. *flexes muscles and shows sparkling teeth*
KILI: My fangirls are—"
FILI: Pfft. What fangirls?
KILI: I have fangirls too, you know!
FILI: Do not.
KILI: Do too!
FILI: Do not!
ME: Both of you, just shut your pie holes!
KILI: Fili doesn't put pie down—"
ME: Kili! That is a rude thing to say!
KILI: It's true.
"What did you first think of Bilbo?"
FILI: Well, I thought he was the coolest dude ever!
KILI: *sees Bilbo* Yeah, so did I!
BILBO: *rolls eyes*
"Did you think Thorin was ever going to respect Bilbo?"
FILI: Woah. Did you just put the words "Thorin" and "respect" in the same sentence?
KILI: I think she did.
"Are you jealous of Kili and Tauriel?"
FILI: Pfft. No way. Who needs elf scum?
"Do you admire the elves like Kili does?"
FILI: Actually, Kili's been brainwashed by his girlfriend the witch, and—
KILI: DID NOT!
FILI: Haha you sound like a girl!
KILI: *steam comes out ears*
FILI: Kili screams like a girl! Kili screams like a girl!
"Do you always style your hair the same way?"
FILI: Well, I would change it, but I can't. You see, I've been doing it so long like this it's permanently stuck. Oh well.
"When you were younger, what did you think of the elves?"
KILI: I thought they were amazing!
FILI: Yeah, 'cause he was weird. Actually, he still is.
KILI: *starts singing* Hater's gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate!
"Did you ever think of straightening your hair to look like an elf?"
KILI: Yeah, I did once. Thorin was so mad…hehehe…
"Why don't you put any braids in your hair?"
KILI: I'm not allowed to since I tried to braid my hair like an elf after straightening it.
"Are you jealous of Fili because he has a better beard?"
KILI: Actually, I think he's jealous of me. See, I'm still young and youthful, but he's getting old and wrinkly. *winks*
ME: Thank you Jessica for your time and questions! :D

Guest asked, "What was it like to meet a Hobbit for the first time?"
KILI: Well, first it was kind of weird, 'cause he didn't want me to scrape my shoes on his mother's box thing.
FILI: Then he wanted us so stop singing and throwing the dishes around!
KILI: I know, it was weird…
FILI: Hobbits do have some strange customs, don't they?
"What were some of the things you did to?"
FILI: To who? To who?!
KILI: *facepalm* Oh great, don't get Fili excited about something and never tell him what it was…*groans*
FILI: Whhooooo!? Who? Who? Who? Who—
KILI: Doctor!
FILI: Who?!
FILI: …
FILI: …
FILI: What did you say?
KILI: Hehehe…
ME: Thank you for your time and questions Guest! :D

ME: Oh! Look Fili! It looks like you'll find out what she meant after all. It was Greenleaf asking, "What were some of the things you did to pass the time on your journey?"
FILI: Well, Kili and I thumb wrestled a lot.
KILI: Yeah…that didn't end up so great.
FILI: Yeah, I don't think Bilbo appreciated having to rescue the ponies for us.
"Did you ever meet Aragorn in Rivendell?"
KILI: Nah, we never met the dude. But we did see him kissing this elf chick.
FILI: Kili! I told you to cover your eyes!
KILI: I did. But you never said I couldn't peek through my fingers.
FILI: *facepalm*
"What was the most fun part about crashing the dinner in Rivendell with your songs?"
KILI: Oh, that wasn't the best part. You ever seen the extended edition fountain scene? Yeah. That was the best.
FILI: Leave it to Kili…
ME: Thank you Greenleaf for your time and questions! :D

E. Peterson asked, "Do you ever wonder when you will be as majestic as Uncle Thorin?"
FILI: I already am.
THORIN: FILI DURIN YOU GET YOUR SCRAWNY BEHIND OVER HERE RIGHT NOW!
KILI: Run, Fili, run!
"What do you think of this fake Kili/NonexistentelfwomanthatPeterJacksonmadeup ship?"
KILI: What do I think of dating a super—
ME: Language.
KILI: —Uuhhh I was going to say super hot elf chick?
"Why in Arda did you give your mother's precious stone to that same NonexistentelfwomanthatPeterJacksonmadeup? What would Dis think of that? Unless of course you agree with me that it never happened?"
KILI: Yeah. Mom wasn't too happy.
FILI: Yeah, Kili was in SOOOO much trouble! First she made him do all my chores, then he had to—
KILI: All right! All right! Shut up already!
"Do you brothers get along well?"
FILI: Yes.
KILI: No.
BOTH: *glares at each other*
FILI: Yes, we do.
KILI: No, we don't. Remember last week when I stole your hairbrush? We didn't get along well then.
FILI: So that WAS you!
"How does it feel having your uncle act like your daddy, in that he always tells you what to do?"
KILI: Haha. I actually pulled that card a couple times.
FILI: Yes, and every time uncle had a good comeback for it.
"How do you feel knowing that you might be king under the mountain one day?"
FILI: Here's what I always wanted to know: Why be king under the mountain when you can be king on top of the mountain?
"Why are you so reckless?"
KILI: I'm not reckless. That's what I told Tauriel.
FILI: The witch.
KILI: *glares*
"Are you Dis's only kids?"
FILI: Well we weren't until Thorin got mad at Bob…
"Do you ever feel like your uncle is being too hard on you?"
FILI: Ha. We think he's being hard on us, but he was even worse to Bob…
ME: Thank you E. Peterson for your time and questions! :D (And I hope you realized that Fili was joking about Bob)
FILI: Was not!

horseyyay asked, "If I told you that you were an awesomely hot vampire (Being Human UK reference) in a past life, what is your reaction?"
KILI: Ummm…excuse me?
FILI: What did you do, burp?
ME: Fili stop being so immature.
"Will you marry me?"
KILI: No.
FILI: *whines* How come you didn't ask me?
"And if you won't marry me will you at least kiss me so I have something to tell my friends about? Like a proper kiss, not some random little peck thing."
KILI: I only do random pecks.
FILI: *raises hand excitedly* Ooh! Ooh! I do proper kisses!
"Will you teach me to use a bow?"
KILI: No.
ME: Kili, would you stop being so rude?
FILI: That's kinda hard for him, since he was born that way.
KILI: *glares*
"Who would win in a fight. You, Fili or Thorin?"
FILI: I don't care if this is Kili's question. I'm answering.
KILI: Hey!
FILI: Shut your pie hole.
KILI: Haha Fili you don't—
ME: Kili, don't go there again.
KILI: Humph.
ME: Now answer the question.
FILI: I will!
KILI: No, me! I would totally win!
FILI: Nuh uh!
"Who's better with a bow? You or Legolas?"
KILI: Well, you see, that's not really a fair question. 'Cause Leggy's had, like, five thousand years to practice, and I've had about twenty five.
"Ummm... Will you marry me?"
KILI: What is with you and the marrying thing?
"Ummmm... Does it ever upset you that your brother is generally regarded as being hotter than you?"
FILI: What are you talking about? Mommy always said people regarded ME as being hotter! MOMMY! Aren't I right? I'm way hotter than Kili.
DIS: Yes, honey, of course.
KILI *whispers* She only says that to keep his self-esteem up.
"Do you find it weird that the three hot dwarves in your family all die? In the same battle. At the same time."
FILI: Wait a second. Three hottest? Let's see, there's me, and Kili (even though I don't think he's hot at all. I'm way better than him.) Who's the third?
KILI: She means Thorin, idiot.
FILI: *gags* Thorin being HOT?!
ME: Thank you horseyyay for your time and questions! :D

Okay, so I divided the Kili/Fili questions into two chapters, since there were A. LOT. Anyways, if yours wasn't on here, they will be in the next chapter. And please no more Kili/Fili questions. I've given you guys plenty of time to submit and I don't think I can do any more. Thank you!

Arrow :D