I really don't have much to say about this one. I guess this is the biggest crackfic I'll write (until I decide to write something worse).

I'm no Xenoblade or Awakening expert, but even I know how OOC I made Shulk and the Robins here. So yeah, I guess I should warn you about this. Oh, and this fic is also kind of gay, so I guess there's that too.

The sun was shining bright in the clear blue sky of Delfino Plaza, bathing the whole city and its inhabitants in a warm, welcoming light. Standing in the middle of the plaza, right in front of the Grand Pianta statue, stood the lovely couple completely oblivious to the people around them. The handsome fair haired man embraced the regal and beautiful blue haired lady in his strong arms, an embrace that she happily returned by wrapping her arms around his waist and resting her head on his right shoulder.

The handsome man then lifted the beautiful maiden's chin up and looked lovingly in her sky blue eyes. Yes, that moment was perfect for both of them. The lady let out an enamored sigh.

Without waiting a second longer, he brought her lips to his and the two shared a hot and steamy kiss as the fountain behind the statue begun shooting out a jet of water and…

"AH!" Shulk woke up in his dark bedroom with a startle.

The Homs boy passed his fingers through his pale blond bangs, his eyes now wide open and forehead dripping with sweat. Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out. That was all he could do at the moment in order to calm himself down. He just needed to keep breathing deeply and maybe his heart would go back to beating normally.

And then he realized something important: he was furious. Why would he want to calm himself down when he had business to deal with? He needed that anger for that and he would hold on it.

Shulk threw his covers away, got up from his bed and headed straight to his door, not even bothering in changing his clothes. His boxer shorts would do just fine. He left the room in a hurry and crossed the dark corridors of the large mansion in swift steps, his back stiff and his fists shut tightly. It seemed like forever until he reached the door that he wanted.

He wondered if he should knock gently in order to not wake everyone else up, but the owner of this particular bedroom wasn't exactly the lightest sleeper in the world, so he had to find the perfect balance of knocking: enough to wake up the room's resident, but not strong enough to wake everyone else.

"ROBIN!" he slammed the door with his fists. "Wake up, NOW! Robin!"

He continued to hit the door, not noticing the sound of footsteps in between the brutal knocks he gave until he was face to face with a very tired and annoyed Robin, who had the scariest bloodshot eyes. Shulk could almost feel his anger slowly being taken over by fear. Almost.

All he had to do was focus on the tight tank top he wore to sleep, instead of his murderous eyes.

"Are you crazy?!" he whispered furiously. "People are trying to sleep!"

"How could you do this to me?!"

"What are you even… hold on!" the mage looked to the sides and pulled the reluctant seer inside his bedroom. "What are you talking about? And why are you only wearing your boxers?"

"This is not about my boxers!" Shulk exclaimed, giving a punch to the other's shoulder. "I want to know what in Bionis' name were you doing making out with Lucina at Delfino Plaza right in front of me!"

"Making out with… Lucina? UH?!"

"Who was making out with who?" asked a sleepy female voice from the bed that was located on the other side of the room.

The two men turned their heads to the source of the voice and found Robin (who was currently having a severe case of bed hair) staring at the two with eyes almost closed. Since she was technically the same fighter as her male counterpart, Master Hand had no problems in assigning only a single bedroom for the two of them to share. Needless to say, there really wasn't much privacy and secrets between the two Robins.

"Oh, hi there, Robin," Shulk greeted the white haired mage before turning his attention back to the other mage. "No, really, how could you do this to me?!"

"Shulk, I don't even know what you're talking about. I wasn't kissing Lucina!"

"Don't lie to me, because I saw you two clashing tongues and eating each other's faces right in the middle of Delfino Plaza."

"You were cheating on Shulk?" Robin asked, now feeling a little more awake.

"No!" Rob denied, resting his hand on the blonde's left cheek. "Shulk, you were just dreaming. I have never kissed Lucina in my life."

"O-Oh…"

The blonde seer got quiet for a moment and turned around, looking like he was about to leave the room and leave the issue quiet and unresolved. Rob could feel his relief building up inside of him and his tiredness growing (he really wanted to get back to his bed), while Robin looked at the whole scene with curiosity. Unfortunately, it didn't seem like the Homs would leave things the way they were.

"But that still doesn't excuse you from being a huge cheating bastard!" he said, turning around.

"Oh, my Naga," Rob let out an exasperated sigh. "Shulk, I was NOT kissing…"

"Did it really have to be Lucina? Couldn't it have been any other Smasher? Did it really have to be Lucina, who I have to battle tomorrow and talk to every day? Who I have to say good morning to? How am I going to look her in the face now?! How am I going to talk to her normally, knowing that my boyfriend was one step from getting to second base with her?"

Rob looked at his female counterpart with pleading eyes. She, in return, just shrugged her shoulders and had a sheepish smile on her face, as if saying "He's your boyfriend. You deal with him".

"Nothing happened between us, okay?!"

"Oh, yeah? Then tell me, where were you while I was dreaming?"

"I was sleeping here! Where else?!"

"And what were you dreaming about, meanwhile?"

"I was dreaming, errr…" the tactician scratched his head. "Well, now I can't remember."

"Of course you can't remember! Because you were too occupied being in my dream, making out with Lucina at Delfino Plaza!"

"This makes no sense."

"Of course it does! If you weren't, you would have an alibi."

"Like?"

"I don't know. You'd probably be kissing Marth in Tortimer Island and would do it away from me. Why couldn't you be doing this, instead?"

"Wait, isn't that almost the same as kissing Lucina?" Robin commented, only to be ignored by the other two bickering men.

"You know what? You can do whatever you want, Rob," Shulk crossed his arms and turned his head away from him. "But, at least, do it behind my back, because I don't deserve to see my boyfriend doing some S support bullshit with one of the girls here."

Rob was starting to lose his patience. The fact that Robin continued to watch the whole scene in amusement just made matters worse. "Shulk, just go to sleep and come talk to me in the morning, yes? Preferably when you're wearing a shirt," he suggested. He tiredly put a hand on his shoulder and tried to turn him around and make him leave.

"Oh, so you can go back to kissing Lucina right in front of me, once I fall asleep again? No way, I'm staying here!"

"He's right, Rob."

"Robin, shut up!"

"Rob, I don't care about who you fantasize with, as long as you stay away from my dreams. They are my place for me to make out with people, not yours! And another thing…"

Shulk quickly shut up as he felt Rob's lips forcefully pushing against his. The tactician never thought he would enjoy those ten seconds of silence and tranquility as much as the kiss that they shared. Maybe it was because the kiss made his jealousy calm down and his mouth to stop saying the craziest assumptions that made the two things equally great.

"I'm still not going to sleep," the Homs protested. "Let's see how you'll get to kiss Lucina in my dreams if I'm wide awake."

"But I am," Rob said, lying down on his bed. "Good night, Shulk."

Robin rolled her eyes as she saw Shulk following Rob and sitting by his side. Maybe now she could have peace and sleep soundly. Even with Shulk suddenly lying down together with him and hugging him by waist. Even with Shulk suddenly sliding his hand just a little too low…

Robin suddenly woke up in a gasp, her brown eyes immediately falling upon Rob's bed. She let out a sigh as she saw her male counterpart sleeping soundly in his bed alone. However, her relief soon begun to be replaced by the anger that she had all the right to have. The tactician threw her covers away and, with her pillow in one hand, got up from her bed, not even bothering in turning on the lights of the bedroom.

"Hyia!" she swung her pillow and threw it with force at Rob's head, making him wake up immediately in a startle.

"What was that all about?!" he exclaimed.

"Next time you think better before cheating on Shulk with Lucina right in front of him in Delfino Plaza!" she replied, before scooting back to bed.

"Robin, you were just dreaming," Rob grumbled as he covered his head with his pillow. "Go back to sleep."

So this idea happened after spending some time wasting time watching videos. Brazilians who watch "Porta dos Fundos" might know what I'm talking about. Oh, and despite it being all Robin's dream, Rob and Shulk are still a couple in this fic.

The Robins are those rare characters that make it possible for me to ship them with more than one character without feeling conflicted.