A/N: I apologize in advance for the insanely long chapter. It feels really flawed, but I've really been wanting to do a chapter that touched on my headcanons for Death City, how its set up and how it operates. It got completely away from me and honestly isn't my favorite installment. I got so burned out on KiMa Week being almost back-to-back with DTK Week that I think I strained my writing muscles :) If anyone has ideas for improving or shortening this beast, they will be most welcome! Please review - I really need feedback on this one!

Nobody had mentioned a party yet. With less than a week left until the big day, and it had become obvious to Mrs. Hurst that a little prodding was necessary. Lord Death and his son were masters of polite, superficial interaction but when it came to emotional awareness and family involvement they were less than useless.

"Liz' sweet sixteen is coming up," she said, pausing beside Death's chair with the tea pot, "How are we planning to celebrate?"

Lord Death's head shot up, "Her what?"

"Her birthday. Her sixteenth birthday."

Apparently that was significant. Problem was, Death had no idea why. He wracked his brain for a long moment and came up empty-handed. Which was how trying to figure out how to deal with the children usually ended for him. And why did one of their confounding issues have to come up when he had Sid and a slightly illegal expeditionary force creeping across a South American border?

He rubbed a hand over tired eyes and tried to focus. His alter ego in the Death Room would have to take over completely for a bit. Hopefully it behaved itself. He made the necessary internal shift and bit back his annoyance. Being inconvenienced was no excuse for not minding one's manners, after all.

"I'm afraid I have to ask you to explain."

Mrs. Hurst clucked her tongue at him, "I thought so. It's traditional to throw a special party for a girl when she turns sixteen."

"Liz isn't exactly what I'd call traditional." Lord Death thought that was putting it lightly. He slid his saucer closer to the edge of his desk, hoping for tea.

"No, " the housekeeper agreed, "She isn't. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't offer. So what would you like to do?"

"Tell Marilyn to plan an appropriate event?" He was letting annoyance creep into his voice and did his best to contain it.

"This is a family celebration, not something you pawn off on your social secretary!"

She made no attempt to fill his cup, leading Lord Death to assume she was holding his caffeine hostage until he made a decision. Damn it, she'd asked what he wanted to do. And what he wanted to do was have Marilyn take care of it so he could drink his tea and return to quelling an insurrection. But no, he had to play guessing games with his housekeeper instead.

"Uh...then we should, um, maybe ask Liz what she wants to do?" he asked weakly. It seemed like a good response, but this could be one of those trick question situations. If he got it wrong there was every possibility he'd never get anything to drink. He felt a proud thrill when she nodded approvingly.

Yes! Nailed it!

"There you go! Why don't you go ask her about it?"

"Now?" Lord Death looked mournfully at his empty teacup.

Her voice was firm, "Yes. Before you forget. Besides, you've been sitting at that desk for about fifteen hours straight. A walk would do you good."

He got to his feet, feeling petulant and slightly tricked. Mrs. Hurst patted his arm consolingly with her free hand.

"Now, now, I'm sure your war will be just fine without you for a while. When you get back you can have a nice cup of tea. And I'll have tea sandwiches and ladyfingers ready for you, too."

Death stalked out of his office, thinking that affairs were in a sad state when a man couldn't get a hot beverage in his own house. Not to mention that he was bullied mercilessly by everyone in it. In all fairness, though, he admitted that he'd never have remembered Liz' birthday on his own. Or anybody's birthday, for that matter. Which was why he had a social secretary, for heaven's sake.

He hadn't been up to the third-floor schoolroom for a long time. It was the domain of traditional education and he left it to the professional tutors he'd hired. He conducted Kid's lessons on the development and use of Reaper skills and responsibilities in the Death Room, and Sophie had handled the practical field experience. He'd been increasingly pushing the responsibility for his son's training off onto his puppet lately, even though he wasn't sure how effective or thorough the creature was being. Something else he needed to check up on someday when he had the time.

He paused at the schoolroom entrance, taking a moment to enjoy the intoxicating smell of books and paper, and the sight of his three hellions doing their homework at the long central table. Kid had blocked off his fastidiously arranged portion of it with two large atlases, probably to hide his view of mess Liz and Patty had created on the rest of it.

"Tests tomorrow, huh?" Death asked, smiling at them. The tutors gave examinations at the end of each week, and he hoped the girls never found out that it was at his behest.

Patty looked up from a crumpled and much-erased worksheet and scowled at him, "You aren't allowed to look happy about it. I HATE this crap!"

Kid peeked over the top of his makeshift study carrel.

"Fractions." he explained.

"And Kid won't help me because he says mixed numbers make him nauseous." Patty kicked him under the table to relieve her feelings. He shrieked in pain and then demanded that she kick him in the other leg to make it even.

Liz threw her pen on the table, "I'm gonna kick both of you if you don't shut up!"

Patty obediently kicked Kid in the other leg and they retreated meekly back to their work.

Lord Death pulled up a chair beside Liz, careful not to disturb the symmetry of the seating arrangement.

"Why don't you all take a break for a minute?" he suggested.

There was an indignant snort from behind the atlases.

"They haven't done anything but take breaks. " Kid told his father, "Patty's been reading under her desk all day and Liz' entire English essay is comprised of the phrase 'fuck this shit" written in fancy letters."

"You little tattletale!" Liz hastily stuffed her page of decorative profanity into a folder, "Would you like to tell your daddy exactly how much time you spent organizing that little hideout you made for yourself over there?"

She didn't think he would, so she informed Lord Death that it had been forty-five minutes. Then she dove into her English notebook and tried to pretend she was above suspicion in the goofing off department.

"It was not! It was an hour," Kid cried, "If you're going to tell on me, make sure you use a number that can be divided in half by two!"

Patty shot him an accusing glare, "I thought you said you hated fractions!"

"Two isn't a fraction, it's a whole number, you idiot!"

Kid promptly discovered that a hardbound copy of "A Little Princess" hurt like hell when it slammed into your kidneys with the full force of Patty's rage behind it. He snatched it away from her and sat on it before she could whack him a second time.

"I want to have a party!" Lord Death blurted, hoping it would distract them before blood was drawn.

Three sets of skeptical, disbelieving eyes turned on him.

"For what?" Patty asked, temporarily ceasing her struggle to get Kid's butt off of her book.

"Liz is having a birthday next week. As I understand it, sixteen is a big one."

"You want to give me a party? A Sweet Sixteen party?" a perilous-looking scowl furrowed Liz' brow.

Lord Death had a feeling he was about to get another lesson on dated, patriarchal social structures and his failure to be hip. He backpedaled, silently damning his housekeeper for getting him into such a pickle.

"You don't have to have a party," he assured her, frantically waving his hands, "It was just an idea! No offense meant if it's out of date or anti-feminist-"

Liz cut him off.

"You mean a real birthday party?" she asked suspiciously, "Like with a cake and stuff?"

"That's usually how these things are done...isn't it?"

Her eyes lit up hopefully and he realized that her birthday had probably never been treated as an important event. The sadness that Death kept constant company with swelled profoundly and he instantly forced it back down. Pity hurt Liz more that sharp words ever could. And when Liz was feeling hurt, well, it usually wasn't pretty.

"Cake, balloons, anything you want." he said gaily, and her frown melted into a joyous smile, taking his heart along for the ride.

"Ohmigod, really!?"

"Haven't you ever had a birthday party before?" Kid asked, blowing the whole moment. The hardness returned to Liz' eyes, the blue going flat and dim under another frown.

"Yeah," she said, flippantly affecting her old tough-girl demeanor, "I had one once. When I was thirteen the dude I was crashing with gave me an eight ball and we played party games with his friends all night long."

Kid looked confused, "Why would he give you an eight ball? That's the best one, but you need more than that to play pool with. We have a table with a complete set of balls down in the game room if you ever want to play."

"I'll bet it's the only set of balls you have!" Liz' anger had a wildness in it that would have made Lord Death's hair stand on end if the cocaine story hadn't already done the job. Patty abandoned her book and dashed back to the safety of her chair. Losing an argument with Kid was better than being in his vicinity if Liz decided to start throwing things at him.

"You are so dumb!" Liz shrieked, "Even for twelve you're dumb! It was coke, moron. And not the kind you drink, in case you're confused about that too!"

Kid honestly didn't understand why she was so upset. Frankly, he just wanted to get back to his geography review. It was going to take a long time because the jagged, asymmetrical borders between countries were terribly hard for him to look at. If intimate knowledge of them wasn't absolutely necessary in his position, he'd have happily failed the subject.

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, I didn't have a birthday party last year either." he offered, trying to make amends.

It just made Liz feel worse.

"How could a spoiled rotten brat like you not get a birthday party?" she demanded.

Kid shrugged, "The staff had one for me, but I didn't attend. Dad was awfully busy that day. I had to work and didn't get home until really late, anyway."

Liz and Patty were appalled and Lord Death shrank back into his chair. Kid tried to look nonchalant about it; like he'd chosen to launch kishin offensive in Visakhapatnam instead of celebrating his birthday. He didn't know why Liz had to make such a big deal about everything. He'd had plenty of parties in his life, just...not for the last couple of years.

"Well, you'd better not forget my party!" Liz exclaimed, "Either one of you!"

"I won't forget. I even have your present ready." Kid said, smugly remembering the four engraved bangle bracelets wrapped in Tiffany's signature blue paper he hadhidden in his bottom desk drawer. He'd taken the precaution of locking it; both of his weapons were incurable snoops.

"You bought me a present?" Liz instantly felt bad for calling him a spoiled brat. Not bad enough to stop doing it forever, but she promised herself to be nice to him for the rest of the day. Guilty feelings were instantly forgotten when Lord Death mentioned a gift list.

"A convertible would be nice." she said, grinning. She wouldn't lie and say that having a chauffeur wasn't cool as hell, but she could hardly wait to be able to drive around town on her own.

"A red one!" Patty added. Liz had taken her joyriding in a red convertible once and they'd had a great time. Stealing cars was a lot of fun, but stealing fast, fancy cars was the best.

Kid looked confused, "What do you want a car for? You can't drive it."

"I'm going to get a license!"

"Not until you turn seventeen." he replied.

"You get a license when you turn sixteen." Liz told him patronizingly. The things Kid didn't know about the real world would fill a book. A whole shelf of books.

"Not here." he insisted.

"He's right," Lord Death put in, "I thought it would be safer to have teenagers get a provisional license at fifteen and practice for two years before driving alone."

Liz was so disappointed she had trouble containing it. She huffed, shrugged, tossed her hair, crossed her arms over her chest and desperately tried to think of additional ways to show her displeasure. Yelling was a good one.

"You start sending the students at your academy out to fight mass murderers at twelve years old! Hell, you send us out to risk our lives all the time. Kid's been putting his neck on the line all by himself since he was ten, for fuck's sake! How is driving a car more dangerous than that?"

Kid peeked around his atlases again, "She has a point, Father. It's rather paradoxical to put protecting us from hypothetical danger ahead of situations that carry certain risk."

"And I've seen kids driving motorcycles and scooters!" Patty added, "You can fall off those real easy."

"Oh no you don't!" Death slapped his palms on the table, "You're not all ganging up on me this time. Sometimes rules are rules and you're just going to have to live with them. I can't go setting a bad example by letting you lot break the law. Now, we can continue to argue about something that isn't happen, or you can put your energy into telling me what kind of party you'd like."

He surprised himself by sounding so firm and fatherly. Kid, Liz and Patty were nonplussed by their standard attack crashing and burning so unexpectedly.

"I...uh...can we have a dinner party?" Liz asked hesitantly.

A dinner party? That seemed like an odd choice for a sixteen year old street urchin, but Lord Death was willing to go with it. Liz had obviously done some daydreaming about celebrating her birthday, though. Lord Death stopped damning Mrs. Hurst and decided he owed her flowers for understanding the situation and forcing him to act on it.

"A formal one?"

Maybe she wanted an excuse to dress up. He was already picturing her excitement over choosing her first evening gown. Something from Versace, maybe, and Chloe had some nice things this season, too. But what was he going to do if she chose something too short, or too tight or totally transparent? He was almost relieved when she shook her head.

"No. I want to have it at the cafe. You know, where Patty and I worked? I thought we could invite Tsugumi and Anya and Meme. And I'd like to invite Mrs. Hurst, and Celeste, and Dave and everybody else at the house. So, you know, they can come to the party and not have to work. You have to invite Nadine, though, I'm too scared to ask her."

"What about Coffee Shop Trevor? Don't forget to invite him." Lord Death elbowed Liz' arm tauntingly. Sometimes he really enjoyed playing dad to a teenage girl. And it wasn't very often that he got a dig in on Liz.

"Oh my God, would you stop with that?" she dropped her head and concealed her red face behind her long hair, "You are such a freak. I'm inviting everybody I know, okay? Even Jackie and that weird bitchy friend of hers with the pink hair. If you keep on with the Trevor shit I might uninvite your ass, though."

"If you invite Nadine, don't forget to invite Mrs. Kasabian, too." Patty sounded like she was reminding her sister to do something patently obvious.

"Who's that?" Liz asked her, baffled, "One of your imaginary friends?" It wouldn't be the first time a character from one of Patty's books had been issued a formal invitation. Elizabeth Bennet had been to lunch just last week, upsetting the number of places at the table and sending the son of the house into a frenzy that planted him in bed for the rest of the night.

"Mrs. Kasabian is in charge of the grounds," Kid piped up, "She's Nadine's wife."

Liz knocked his atlases down in order to give him the full experience of her astonishment.

"What? Nadine has a wife? Like a real, actual woman wife?" she demanded, gaping.

Kid looked at her coldly and his golden eyes flashed dangerously.

"Why, do you disapprove?"

He sounded disgusted and disappointed with her in equal measure and Liz hastened to explain herself.

"No, not that...I mean someone married Nadine? This Mrs. Kashabean has got to be the bravest person, like, ever. Or totally insane."

"Kasabian." Patty corrected her sister, "Her first name is Lusine, and she's super nice. She let me help start seeds in the greenhouse and dig a hole for a shrub. She's Armenian. And she says nobody messes with the Armenians."

"I'll bet. You'd have to be a badass to deal with all that pan-throwing and knife waving." Liz sounded awed, and Kid's stomach relaxed. The possibility that a member of his family might be a filthy bigot had made him a little sick.

Wait. When did I start thinking of them as family?

The sudden, shocking realization stunned him so much that he nearly missed Liz' next confounding statement.

"Well, if she can handle Nadine it's too bad that they can't really be married. Legally, I mean. She's a keeper. But marriage is really only a state of mind, I guess."

"It's legal." Lord Death assured her, reaching across the table to grab the atlases before Kid could start rebuilding his study fort. It was weird and he wished for the billionth time that his son could act normal for more than five minutes at a crack. Deprived of his blockade, Kid busied himself tidying up the rest of the table.

"Well, in some places, sure," Liz agreed, "but not in the United States."

"You're not in the United States." Kid sounded like he was talking to an impaired three year old. Liz hated it when he did that and put her best snotty voice on.

"Last time I checked, Nevada was definitely in the United States, Kid."

"You're not in Nevada, either!" Kid tapped Patty's science pages into a neat pile.

"Ummm...are you sure he shouldn't be in a regular school?" she asked Lord Death, "Or have a different tutor? I don't think the homeschooling thing is working out real good for him. He doesn't even know where he lives, for God's sake."

Kid was so dumbfounded that he let two highlighters roll onto the floor unnoticed. Honestly, the things Liz didn't know about the Death City would fill a book. A whole shelf of books.

"Death City is a sovereign principality," he said, copying Liz' earlier patronizing tone, "A city-state. Located on land ceded to us by the US government from the state of Nevada. I am stunned by your ignorance. Maybe you need a different tutor. You don't appear to have a good understanding of where you live."

He grabbed her latest social studies quiz and pointed to the 72 written in big red letters on its top and added, "Or anyplace else, for that matter."

"What's a solvering state principal?" Patty asked, wide-eyed over the fact that she apparently didn't know where she lived, either. She'd been pretty sure about the Nevada thing, too. Kid rolled his eyes heavenward and got up to search through one of the towering walnut bookshelves against the back wall. Patty immediately snatched "A Little Princess" from his chair. Hugging it triumphantly, she went to perch on Lord Death's knee for her explanation. He was good at explaining things and always took lots of time making sure she understood them.

"It means that when you're in Death City, you're in another country." he explained, "We touch the United States, but we're not a part of it." he opened up one of the atlases he'd confiscated, "Here. This is the United States. Can you find another country that touches the US but isn't a part of it?"

Patty scowled in concentration over the page, tracing borders with her finger.

"Umm... Canada?"

"Yep, just like Canada. Can you find me another one?"

"Mexico!"

"Perfect! Now, here's Death City, and you can see that the state of Nevada is all around us. We're like Mexico, or Canada, but smaller. I make all the laws, and control everything that goes on inside our borders. I'm also responsible for the Death Scythes around the world and the peacekeeping forces that Death City dispatches around the world are under my command."

"'Peacekeeping' my ass." Kid muttered. He knew where Sid and his men were and what they were doing. He'd voiced his disagreement earlier in the day during a training session and had been impatiently brushed off by the puppet in the Death Room. His actual father huffed in exasperation now and pointedly ignored him.

"So that makes you like a king!" Patty said excitedly, watching Kid climb the rolling ladder that provided access to the books on the highest shelves. She was definitely going for a ride on that thing later and wondered why she'd never thought to do it before.

"Okay, fine. We're not in Nevada. " Liz conceded, "But of all the places in the world to steal, why would anybody pick the middle of the effing desert?"

"Hey! I didn't steal anything!" Lord Death cried, "It was given freely. And we needed our privacy. Somewhere I could put down roots without worrying about encroaching civilization for a long time."

"They only gave it to us because they didn't want us being allied so closely with anyone else," Kid sniffed, "They did the same thing with the UN."

He hopped off the ladder and returned to the table with "Death City: A History". He thumped it down in front of Liz, who wrinkled her nose at it.

"I'm not reading that. It looks totally boring."

"Oh, so we bore you? Thanks." The reply was heavy with sarcasm and she belatedly realized that she'd insulted him, his father, and everything his family had built and accomplished.

"Well, maybe I'll read it later," she said in a conciliatory tone as she brushed the dust off the cover, "I guess I really ought to know our family history."

Apparently he wasn't the only one thinking about family these days. Kid pretended not to notice her use of the word "our" or the contrite pat on the back she gave him. He filed her guilt away, intending to use it to get out of trouble later in the day. She was sure to get mad at him again at least once before bed. In the meantime he acknowledged her remorse by suggesting that they return to planning her birthday party, and that they do it over afternoon tea.

"You guys haven't finished your homework." Lord Death reminded them, "And you have tests tomorrow."

"You do have the power to grant us a reprieve from that this week, you know." Kid answered, "Besides, we've wasted so much time already that we'd have to miss dinner to get all our work done. "

"Yeah, you don't want us to starve, do you?" Patty tried to sound as pitiful as possible.

"And we don't have a lot of time to make all the arrangements," Kid added, "We need to design invitations and a cake, decide on a theme and execute it, prepare a guest list, decorate, and of course we can't ask Mr. Masters to close down the cafe for an entire evening without proper advance notice. Really, Dad, you can't leave everything till the last minute like this."

Well, there was that.

If they were going to plan this shindig by themselves, it would take some time. Besides, he was a little concerned about Kid; maybe he needed a day off. Death was beginning to think it might be abnormal for a child his age to be so invested in international affairs. Or to be so cynical about them. He had been working the boy rather hard lately and belatedly wondered if the stress was responsible for the increase in emotional meltdowns they'd had to deal with lately.

"You're right, Kiddo." he said, not missing the shocked look he received, "Next time we'll plan things out right, but for now we'll take some time off and give Liz a great party for her big day."

The birthday girl's arm slid around his neck and he delighted in the quick peck she gave his cheek.

"You are so awesome." she told him, while Patty turned on his knee and informed him that for her birthday she wanted a pink tent out in the yard with twinkle lights, barbecued chicken and "a wedding cake".

"And how about you, Kiddo?" Lord Death asked as they headed down to their tea and Patty excitedly dragged Liz ahead out of earshot

Kid chewed his bottom lip for a moment, trying to decide whether to tell the truth or not. Baring his feelings had become increasingly hard for him.

I...want," he hesitated, weighing his desires against his fear of disappointment.

"You can tell me," Lord Death encouraged. He put his arm across Kid's shoulders in a one-armed hug and the warm secure weight tipped the balance in honesty's favor.

"I want you to take the whole day off," Kid said quietly, "and I want beef bourguignon like Maman used to make and have dinner with just the four of us."

The obvious expectation of disappointment on his son's face added to Lord Death's store of permanent sadness. Such an average little request, made with such trepidation.

"Then that's exactly what you're going to get," he promised, and was rewarded with a brief hug.

"Thanks, Dad."

Kid felt happier than he had in days. So happy, in fact, that he didn't even notice that the kiss his father dropped on the side of his head was completely asymmetrical.

RESPONSES:

Guest: Thank you so much for liking this story - I hope you enjoy this installment!

whenyouwriteat2am: Thank you so much. I feel like just getting another chapter finished is amazing!

Loki son of Laufey: I try hard to portray Kid as someone who's well-versed in abstract concepts but totally fails at applying them to real-life situations. I also love giving him those moments of being a normal twelve year old. I'm glad you think I'm doing okay with plot and characterizations - it means a lot!

SempiternalDreamer: I HAD to sneak my little hint of KiMa in there! Can't live without it, lol. Headcanon says Kid's attitude toward cooties does a 180 the first time he meets Maka. ! I was really going for that turning point toward family between LD, Kid, Liz and Patty without hitting readers over the head with it. I'm glad it came across.

Congrats on the new laptop!

Shizuka Taiyou: I think Kid's definitely a perv. He tries to hide it, but it is SO there and he's not fooling anybody!

REDEADED: Thank you, dearest friend. I'm so glad to see all the great writing you've been doing in the SU fandom. You get better every day!

Carley-Carley-Carley: I had fun with this chapter and I'm happy you thought it was cute too :)

DJKatt: I'm glad the attempts at humor worked. This story gets a little overwrought sometimes. Makes me feel so good that you thought the characterizations were good 3