So, here it is. The last chapter. I know that this story doesn't have a traditional ending, but it does have a happy one. The reason I decided to write this fic based on her album was because I liked the message, and it inspired me to write a fic that had a bittersweet ending. Anyway, I really like this album, and you should check it out if you haven't, because I think it's really amazing and has a great message. Thanks to IWriteNaked for beta'ing this story, and thanks to all of you for reading it. :)

"Clean"

Rain came pouring down when I was drowning
That's when I could finally breathe
And that morning, gone was any trace of you,
I think I am finally clean

10 months sober, I must admit
Just because you're clean don't mean you miss it
10 months older, I won't give in
Now that I'm clean I'm never gonna risk it

She lost him but she found herself and somehow that was everything

Breaking up with Jace—for real, with a note of finality that no one would dare violate—was the hardest thing Clary had to do. The truth is, she was holding on to some sort of twisted hope that he would ignore the words that she spat at him when she decided to end it, but he didn't. He just nodded and said that he understood, and in the end they hugged and wished each other best.

And it felt so final that she wanted to drown the world with her tears.

And, yes, it took her a long time to realize how terrible it was. She was drowning in pain and a sense of being overwhelmed and she felt, overall, like she was coming apart at the seams, and she needed someone to fix her.

But it was at that time that she realized that she had to fix herself.

It had been a few months—ten, to be exact—since Clary ended her relationship with Jace for good, and she realized a few things along the way .

First of all, she fell in love. The kind of love that people write songs and books about; the kind of love people fight over; the kind of love that inspires people. Unfortunately, her love turned twisted really fast, and she fell into a hole that it took her a year to get out of. She fell in love with him, and then she hated him, and then she fell harder, and it was a vicious cycle without an end.

She learned that it was okay to miss him sometimes—and she also learned that she missed him a lot more than she thought she would. When she was alone, roaming through the streets of New York, and she saw something that made her think of him, she got choked up and had to stand still for a second, her eyes trained on the ground, before she was able to come back to herself again. It was like someone had to hit pause for a second in order for her heart to catch up with the reality of her situation.

Even though she missed him to the point of physical pain, she also realized that she was happier than she had ever been. She began to miss him less and less as the months went by, and she was happy to finally understand that just because she missed him didn't mean that she had to give in.

But, most importantly, she realized that losing a boy would never compare to the joy she felt when she found herself.

Yeeep. That's the ending. Thanks again for reading! Let me know what you think. :)