Souichi sighed; never sure what to do at times like this. He wanted to be in the holiday spirit, everyone around him was, but he just couldn't muster it. Even Lisa, who was normally so headstrong and full of attitude got giggly and warm hearted in the month of December. Their entire apartment was decorated to the rafters, complete with a Christmas tree surrounded by dozens of presents. Souichi had no idea who most of the presents were for or what was in them, they could be empty boxes for all he knew, but he doubted it. Who would ever guess that Lisa would go so crazy for the holiday? He only wished he could.
"Hey Souichi!" Lorna called from inside her car. She and Ren were out doing some shopping of their own apparently. "What's up?"
"Nothing really, just taking a walk. I'm assuming you two are shopping."
"Yup! You wanna come with us?" Lorna asked.
"No thanks, I'm not really in the mood, and besides I don't think I'd fit in the car with all your presents."
Lorna shrugged. "Suit yourself, but remember we're having our Christmas party tomorrow and you're supposed to bring a little present for the kids."
"I remember, I'll pick something up on my way home, thanks."
Lorna drove off leaving Souichi on the sidewalk wondering what the hell he was supposed to be buying. The idea was a good one, each person bring a gift suitable for a child, and they'd play Santa on Christmas morning giving presents to all the little kids in the city's orphanage. That part he didn't mind, but he really didn't feel like going to a Christmas party. He sighed, knowing full well Lisa wouldn't let him out of it.
Rei Kazama, the eX-Rider that five years ago Lisa wouldn't have said two kind words to, shrugged. "Maybe you should talk to him about it."
"I've tried, he just says it's nothing and changes the subject."
"Hmph, typical man for you," Rei said. "You're going to have to force it out of him one way or another. Have you tried withholding sex?"
"What?!" Lisa cried, nearly dropping the bags she was carrying.
Rei laughed. "Hey, a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. Always remember that."
Lisa was speechless.
"Don't worry," Rei finally said, still laughing a little. "I'm sure you can find out. Just be caring and loving, pamper him a little an she'll pour his heart out, then you can fix it."
"But what if I can't fix it?"
Rei patted Lisa's back. "You can, I'm sure of that. I mean, how is it gonna look to your kids if their dad hates Christmas?"
"What?!" This time she did drop her bags, causing Rei to laugh even harder. "Kids? No way! I mean, not yet, not any time soon! We haven't even talked about marriage, we're just-"
"Calm down," Rei was barely able to say. "It was a joke."
Lisa picked up her things feeling the heat spreading across her face. She knew she was blushing, but there was no way to hide it.
They walked a little father and Rei was finally able to regain her composure. "Really though, I was being serious when I said I know you can fix whatever problem Souichi has. You just have to be patient."
"I can be patient." "Please," Rei said. "If I laugh anymore I think I'll collapse."
Lisa glared at her and kept shopping.
Later that night Lisa was waiting in the apartment for Souichi to come home. He'd been gone all day, and she was starting to get worried when he walked in the door, a small shopping bag in his hand.
"Sorry I was gone so long," he said in a tired voice. "I had to buy a present for the party."
"Oh, you're going?" Lisa asked.
"Yeah, I didn't think you'd let me get out of it."
Lisa sat in silence, choosing to neither confirm nor deny his statement.
"Is something wrong?" he asked.
Lisa motioned for him to sit next to her on the couch, which he did. "I want to talk," was all she said.
Simply hearing his girlfriend utter those words sent a chill down Souichi's spine. "I want to talk" could mean anything from "we should get a new microwave" to "I want to break up". And the human brain has an amazing ability to run a million different scenarios through a man's head in the minute it takes for his girlfriend to continue. Souichi's hear was pounding already. "About what?"
"About, this!" She motioned towards the tree. "About you refusing to tell me why you hate Christmas so much."
,br Souichi breathed a sign of relief, though he knew he wasn't in the clear yet. "I don't hate Christmas, it just makes me sort of sad."
,br "Sad? But why?"
"Because Christmas was always a happy time spent with family, or at least when I was a kid it as. Growing up I loved it, all kids do, but when I was ten my parents sent me to a school in England, so I could start training to become an eX-Driver."
"When you were ten?"
Souichi nodded. "Don't get me wrong, my parents weren't being cruel, they had just seen my potential and wanted me to use it. They'd visit when they could, and of course they'd call and write, but I never got to spend another Christmas with them. While all my friends got to be with their families I was celebrating with all the other kids who couldn't be with theirs."
"So your parents ruined Christmas for you…"
"I love my parents, and I'm glad they encouraged me, but yes I guess you could say they ruined it for me at the same time." He sighed. "I don't hold it against them though, they're good people and they're very proud of me."
"So why don't they visit you?"
"They're… dead."
Lisa stared back at him in surprise. Granted, they never really talked about their families much, but Souichi had never once mentioned that his parents had died. "You didn't tell me."
"It never really came up."
Lisa just kept staring at him, blinking.
"What? You're making me a little uncomfortable you know."
"I'm sorry, I'm just… surprised, that's all. How long ago was it?"
"Years ago, when I was in England, and it was a car crash of all things. My father always hated A.I. cars, he said he couldn't trust a machine he couldn't control, and he was right. The damned thing killed him, and my mother." "I'm so sorry…" Lisa said quietly.
Souichi had never mentioned his parents' death to anyone before, mainly because he didn't want them to feel sorry for him. Any time family came up he'd skirt around the truth, and though he wouldn't really like, he'd speak of his parents in the present tense. He'd known he'd have to tell Lisa eventually, but he'd planned on waiting a little longer.
"Don't be sorry," he told her. "It's been seven years, I've had time to adjust. I guess holidays just bring me down that's all. I mean, I've been living like I have no family since I was ten, before my parents even died."
"But you do have a family," Lisa said. "You have me, and Lorna and Ren. You have Ogawa, I know he likes you the best out of all the drivers, and you have Rei… none of us are related, but we're still a family."
Souichi thought for a second and smiled. "Yeah, I guess you're right."
Lisa kissed his nose as she stood up. "Well, I'm going to bed. Tomorrow is the last day to shop for presents, and you know what that means."
"The worst traffic of the year, and a bunch of runaway A.I. cars," Souichi said with a nod. Ice plus cars, plus frantic people did not equal good things.
,br "Yep. You coming to bed?"
"Not just yet, I think I'll sit here for a little while longer."
Lisa went off to bed after saying goodnight and Souichi was left along in the living room. The only light he had were the alternating lights on the Christmas tree, and he stared into those blinking multi colored bulbs intently.
For most of his life Christmas had meant loneliness, envy, and a secret resentment and embarrassment. Though he hated to admit it, he was always jealous of the other kids, and was angry with his parents when they couldn't come for him. Then when they died he just stopped caring about holidays altogether, and the resentment, embarrassment and envy melted away. The loneliness however, stayed. No he had no reason to feel those old emotions, but it was so hard to trade them in for holiday cheer. He really didn't know if he could.
"This is ridiculous," he said quietly to himself. "I have no reason to hold on to this… so why am I having such a hard time letting go?"
He sat until the tree seemed as if it was mocking him, when he finally turned out the lights and went to bed.
There was no waking up lazily for the eX-Drivers on Christmas Eve, instead they were jolted awake at 6:00 am by the first runaway car of the day.
Lisa loved it of course, she always did, and Souichi was unusually thankful for the break from thinking. He'd already decided to not even try getting out of the Christmas party, and he needed to find some time to buy Lisa a present. All in all he felt better, at least a little bit.
"Souichi, I've got this one!" Lisa said over the headset. She sped up in front of him and within minutes had the runaway A.I. car stopped.
"What's up with you?" she asked as she got out of the car. "You seemed really out of it."
"Oh, sorry," Souichi apologized. "I guess I can't stop thinking even at work."
"Huh? Are you feeling okay Souichi, you're being kind of weird?"
Souichi laughed. "Yes dear, I'm feeling fine. I was just thinking of… what I was going to get you, that's all."
"Get me? You mean for Christmas?" Lisa's eyes lit up.
"Yeah, I guess your little talk last night made me realize what a jerk I'd been for the past few years. It's time I let go of my loneliness face up to the fact that I'm just stubborn. I have a wonderful family here, not to mention an even more wonderful girlfriend."
Lisa could cry. "I honestly don't know what to say."
"Well you should be very proud, it was you who made me change my mind."
"Wow, and I didn't even have to withhold sex!"
"Huh?"
Lisa laughed. "Oh nothing."
Another alert prevented Souichi from pursuing the conversation any further but he made a mental note to bring it up later. For now though, it was time to work and also time to get used to his newfound holiday cheer.