Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS or any of its characters. This story is entirely fictional and is based on my own experiences. Reviews and/or comments would be greatly appreciated as I am loving this story and it is a pleasure to write.

Italics are thoughts

Authors Note: I have re-done this story again, because I felt that the story was progressing too fast, and I want to slow it down a little.

Thank you to all those who have left me reviews so far, and I apologise for the long delay in writing.

I hope to write more often now.

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Ziva David presented herself as a strong tough individual. Her training had taught her to hide her pain, and use whatever means necessary to complete her mission and get the job done. The strict rules imposed on her, gave her structure and consistency and as such she did not deal well with change. Weakness was never to be shown, and there were serious consequences for those that did in Mossad. But since coming home from Africa and her ordeal with Saleem, she could not forgive herself for being so weak, and allowing that monster to think he could own her.

She did her best to hide what she was doing to herself. She work baggy clothes, ate her one meal of the day in front of her co-workers, contained her self-harm to her stomach and legs to avoid suspicion and put on her best Mossad smile to try and fool everyone. Little did she know they weren't fooled.

This is the story of Ziva's decent into the depths of darkness.