[A/N: Obviously I'm really fast-tracking the amount of time it takes to produce an Asian boy band; I don't think Sakura would put up with a 4-year mission or however long it actually takes to debut. One other thing is that I kind of bumped up the Naruto world's tech level a bit since I didn't feel like I could pull off an idol singer parody without some social media involvement. Also, I changed Shirashi's name because I hadn't checked beforehand that it had the kanji I wanted (it didn't), so he's Shirase now.]

4.

After the announcement of their future band, Sakura and the others' training increased in intensity, leaving her with barely enough time to eat and never a chance to contact Tsunade.

Finally, after nearly ten days of grueling work, Sakura was actually beginning to remember what a decent night's sleep felt like when there was a loud knocking on the door to her and Hikaru's room.

However, since Sakura was dreaming at the time, she heard the knocking as a distant rumbling thunderstorm as she raced to rescue Sasuke from a dragon.

"This dress is ridiculous," Sasuke complained when she finally scrambled into the tower where he had been trapped.

Sakura inspected the fluffy pink-and-white affair he was wearing and had to agree. "Sorry...My subconscious is a little confused lately."

Sasuke opened his mouth again and said "Sakuto, hurry and get up or Kurosawa-san is going to, like, fire us, un!"

Sakura recognized Hikaru's voice (and was annoyed by the interruption of her pleasant dream) before she registered the meaning of the words. "'Kay, I'm up!" she exclaimed as she snapped into wakefulness, the dream scenery around her replaced by the company dorm room. "What's going on?" she asked as she pushed the covers away and sat up.

"I don't know but she says we have to be ready to go in ten minutes, un," Hikaru reported. "And we have to look 'presentable,' so it's not a special training session."

He was already fully dressed and currently was using his reflection in the TV screen to fix his bangs. Sakura wrinkled her nose at the smell of hairspray as she practically dove into her bureau trying to find something nice to wear, quickly picking out a pair of sea-green skinny jeans, a white blazer and a hat of the same color.

Hikaru was wearing distressed jeans and a loose-fitting knit sweater. When he turned, Sakura saw that not only was there a cat knit into the front of his sweater but he had about ten different cat clips affixed to his bangs.

"So...do you like cats or something?" Sakura asked as they hurried downstairs to where Ms. Kurosawa was waiting with a van.

"Oh yeah, un!" Hikaru responded enthusiastically. "I don't have any right now, but…"

…

"...and then when I was ten my next-door neighbor had a ragdoll cat named Fluffy, and I would go over to play with it and—"

"We're there, stop talking," Ms. Kurosawa snapped from the front passenger seat. Sakura breathed a sigh of relief as Hikaru finally, blessedly shut up about the cats. He had barely even taken a break to breathe throughout the entire twenty-minute drive. "Here's what's going on," Ms. Kurosawa continued once silence had settled over the van. "Two of our company's other singers were supposed to appear on a radio program this morning, but they have food poisoning and can't make it. You are going to substitute and promote 5*ELEMENTZ. If you hurry inside you should have about half an hour to talk to the hosts and get an idea of how the show is set up before you go on the air."

"We're going on the radio?" Sakura yelped as the driver opened the van door. A lot of people in Konoha listened to Iron Country radio programs—what if she hadn't disguised her voice enough and one of them recognized her?

"Awesome, un!" Hikaru exclaimed as he bounded out of the van. "Hurry up, Sakuto!"

…

Half an hour later, Sakura was sitting in front of a microphone, trying to compose herself as the hosts introduced the program. Weekly Music Charm was a relatively ordinary music and interview program, so if she could just keep herself under control it would all go fine. As long as she could keep Hikaru off the topic of cats, because if he got started on that the show would quickly turn into Weekly Feline Chat.

The show was hosted by two former girl group members, who had done their best to put Sakura and Hikaru at ease before the show started, although it was clear they would have rather had the high-profile singers who had been originally scheduled to appear.

"X2Z were our intended guests for this show, but since they can't be here due to a sudden emergency, we have some special guests!" Aya, the younger of the two hosts, began.

"With us in the studio are two members of a new band that will be debuting at this year's Continental Music Festival!" The other host, Yumi, continued. "It's 5*ELEMENTZ's Sakuto and Hikaru! Welcome!"

"Hello!" Sakura and Hikaru responded into their microphones. Sakura still felt awkward about the whole situation, but Hikaru looked like he was having fun. At least one of us is, Sakura thought sulkily. I left a dream about Sasuke for this?

"Obviously we can't play any of your music since this is a pre-debut interview," Aya said, "but can you tell us a little about your group?"

Sakura did her best to remember the coaching Ms. Kurosawa had given them before she left the studio. "5*ELEMENTZ has a ninja-themed concept, so a lot of the songs are really powerful," she responded. "There are also some influences from traditional music."

"And it's a 5-person group, is that right?" Yumi asked.

"Yes," Hikaru responded before Sakura could formulate the words for a reply. "The rest of us are Kaito, Kohaku and Shirase."

"Well, we would have loved to have you all, but as anyone watching the video stream can see this is a tiny studio," Aya giggled. "If we tried, two of you would end up sitting in the hallway."

There's a video? People can see me? I know people who listen to this show, oh please don't let them decide to watch it today please! Sakura tried to hide her internal panic as Yumi introduced the first song.

"...and when we come back, we'll hear some more from Sakuto and Hikaru, as well as reading some messages from our listeners!"

Sakura breathed a sigh of relief as the microphones were shut off and the music began to play. There's about 20 minutes left now. I can make it.

"Don't worry, you're doing really good for your first time!" Aya murmured reassuringly, giving Sakura's shoulder a pat. "Keep it up."

Sakura and Hikaru made it through the next interview segment without too much difficulty, although Sakura did have to almost physically shut Hikaru up when Yumi couldn't get her hints and asked him a question about cats.

"And now, we're going to read some text messages and comments from our listeners!" Aya announced, and Sakura wished she'd let Hikaru carry on.

"First off, we have a comment from the Land of Sound. 'redbirdxsasukunforever' says: I already bought 15 entries to the Continental Music Festival's ticket sweepstakes. See you there xoxoxoxoxo. Does either of you have a reply for her?"

Sakura started to say something, then realized what the 'xsasukunforever' part of the screenname had meant and choked. It's someone from Sound who knows Sasuke! If she comes to the festival it could be our big break to finding him...that is if I don't kill her first...

"Uh, sure," Hikaru took over to Sakura's great relief. "We really look forward to meeting all our fans, and it's great that there are so many even before our official debut, un," he smiled into the microphone.

"Okay, next message," Yumi continued, scrolling down the laptop in front of her. "Let's see, 'JashinRoxorz' from Rain says...um...nevermind we'll just skip this one," she finished quickly, her voice becoming very small and her face very red.

This time it was Hikaru who choked up, grabbing a bottle of water and turning away from the microphone so Sakura couldn't see his face. Sakura didn't have much time to wonder what his problem was as Yumi began reading another message.

"Here's a good one!" Yumi announced. "From Fire Country, 'CrimsonLove' says: OMG they're such presh babies! I can't wait for your debut 3. Would you like to say something, Sakuto?"

"Uh, yeah, sure," Sakura said, hoping she didn't sound too distant as she tried to figure out if this was someone she knew. "I'm really glad people are so eager to see us perform. But we all want to be recognized as a real, mature band," she added, remembering some of the buzzwords Ms. Kurosawa had told her.

"Oh, of course," Aya responded. "It's always tough when you're just starting out. Anyway, now we're going to have a few more songs, and when we come back it will be time to say goodbye to Sakuto and Hikaru!"

Oh thank goodness, Sakura thought with a sigh of relief. Then it struck her. CrimsonLove...Kurenai. That was Kurenai-sensei! What is this world coming to?

"You okay, un?" Hikaru asked.

It took Sakura a moment to realize that he was speaking to her. "Huh? Um, yeah, I'm okay," she replied. "I guess I'm just more nervous than I thought I was…"

Hikaru seemed to have gotten over whatever that was earlier, although he still looked a little flushed. Sakura wondered if their distress could have been for similar reasons, but she couldn't ask since it could potentially damage her cover.

Sakura made it through the ending section of the radio program practically on autopilot, and before she came back into realization of her surroundings she and Hikaru were back in the company van on their way back to the dorms.

"That wasn't bad," Ms. Kurosawa declared. "You'll have lots of other promotions coming up soon, so this is good practice."

Just as long as nobody recognizes me, Sakura thought drowsily as the gentle vibrations of the van began lulling her back to the sleep she had been pulled out of so rudely earlier. I would just die if Sasuke found out I was on such a stupid mission.

[A/N: Not directly related to this story, but any crack pairing afficionados who like ItaDei should check out ItaDei Week on tumblr! The official week is scheduled for May 18-24, but the itadeiweek blog is already active.]