Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars or Star Wars the Clone Wars.

How can you love a broken soul? Chapter4

We were sitting on the couch. I leaned my head against his chest and he kissed me lovingly. I enjoyed it. It was definitely the best way to spend your day and I could do it the whole time but then he stopped. I looked at him questioningly.

"Why did you stop?" I asked and he sat me on his lap.

"You still need to write your report." He kissed my montral. I pulled away.

"I don't want to write that damn report; can't you do this for me?" I asked with puppy dog eyes.

"You know I can't do this, Ahsoka. They'd know. Just do it and you're done before you even notice." I sighed and took the data pad. I was still sitting on his lap and leaned back against his chest.

"Can you help me at least?" I asked and he nodded. I smiled weakly and turned the data pad on. I started writing on my report and he rubbed my back soothing me. I started with the background, that Lux and I were a couple and as I came to describing what he'd done to me I kind of had a panic attack. His arms were wrapped around me and I was crying. I held onto him tightly and he rubbed my back trying to calm me down.

I was shaking and sobbing uncontrollably and he tried to hold me as tight as he could.

"It's okay, Ahsoka, I'm here." I heard him speaking but it didn't help much. Just after a little while he managed to calm me down a little.

"Shhh. Shhh. It's okay. I'm here." He held me and rubbed my back. I leaned against him still silently crying.

"What was that about?" He asked me after some time.

"I was remembering what happened." I answered quietly.

"I'm sorry." He kissed my montrals softly. "I'm sorry, I out you through this and I wish I could change that. I didn't want to hurt you; I was just trying to save you."

"I know. It's just that you killed him and it just kind of shocked me seeing you doing this." It was quiet for a while. I was lying on his lap his arms wrapped around me and he held me close to him.

"Promise me you'll never do such a thing again." I asked and looked him in the eyes. He sighed.

"I can't." He looked down at me. "I can't because I will always do exactly what's necessary to save you and if that means killing someone I'll do it again." He kissed my forehead and I closed my eyes.

"I'm glad you did it though. You know, stopping him. What he did to me." I started shaking and he put his hand against her cheek stroking it soothingly. "Thank you for being there." I added and closed my eyes leaning in to his hand.

"It's alright, Ahsoka. It's over. He can't hurt you anymore, okay?" He asked and I nodded.

"Good, because you still have to write the report." He handed me the data pad and I sat up. "Just do it and I'm here protecting you." He kissed the back of my head. I finished the report writing as fast as I could. I wanted it to end. I didn't want to be remembered by it all the time. I put the data pad back down on the table after I sent the report to the council.

"What if they expel us from the order?" I asked him but he shook his head.

"They're not going to expel us. They might just keep a close eye on us but we're way too important to them. I mean, who is it that wins all the battles for them?" He smirked and I just had to laugh.

"See, it's going to be alright." I smiled and hold his arms around me.

"Okay, and what are we going to do now?" I asked him and he shrugged.

"We could make us a lazy day." He smiled at me. I nodded agreeing and he kissed my lek. He laid me down and laid himself down behind me.

"What's wrong?" I asked him as I noticed him staring at me.

"Are you hurt? Like with bruises?" He asked and I looked to the ground.

"I take that as a yes." He said pained. I slowly turned around.

"No, really it's nothing serious. Just a few bruises, that's all." He looked at me in shock.

"Nothing serious? Ahsoka, I want you to see a doctor." He pleaded and I looked away. He was so horrified by the fact that I wasn't being completely fine. I sighed.

"Do I have to?" I asked but his look already told me the answer.

"Please, do it for me! I just want to make sure you're alright." He kissed my cheek and I sighed again. I really didn't want to see a doctor right now.

"We're going later, okay?" He asked and I nodded so he would stop annoying me with it. The next time we just laid next to each other on the couch. His hand rested on my side and his head laid on his other hand. I snuggled to him and closed my eyes. It was nice just lying next to him; Lux had never let me do this.

"Ahsoka?" I heard it suddenly. It was Anakin's voice and the way he was speaking told me I didn't want to know what he's going to say next. I looked up at him waiting for his question and he looked back down at me.

"Did he, did he rape you?" He asked and I'd been right, I hadn't wanted to hear the question. I looked down hiding my face in his tunic. I was ashamed of what the answer was. He seemed to understand and wrapped both of his arms around me holding me even closer to him. Rubbing my back soothingly he kissed my montral.

"I'm so sorry, Ahsoka." He said and tears escaped my eyes as I remembered what Lux had done to me. "I'm so sorry." He repeated and I cried harder. He held me, he rubbed my back, he kissed my montrals, he whispered sweet little things to me, he did everything he could to make me feel better and I was grateful for it. In time I eventually calmed down and thanked Anakin for being there with me.

"You want to talk about what he's done to you?" He asked me but I just cried.

"I, I don't know." I shook.

"It's okay; take your time, little one." I nodded and tried to make a decision, whether to tell him or not.

"Do you think it will help me if I tell you?" I asked him starring in his eyes. He looked so kind, so understanding and I felt save and well protected in his arms.

"I don't know. It might help talking about it so it's not bottled up inside you, but it's still your decision and you don't have to talk to me if you don't want. You could also talk to someone else, a friend or a therapist." I thought for a moment but decided that it might be better telling someone and I also came to the conclusion that Anakin might deserve to know what happened after everything he did for me. I took my time though.

"Well, at first everything was normal. We were like every other couple you'd know but one day he started getting upset with me without a reason and then he got more and more brutal, always finding another way to let his temper out, on me. I don't know the exact date he first hurt me, but it was some time back in summer. We were coming back from a mission and in the same evening I was sneaking out of the temple to see him. We had a nice rest of the day with dinner and everything and then he got a text from someone, I didn't know from who, though, he got pretty mad after receiving it and then he couldn't control his anger anymore and started hurting me. That evening he just pinched me a little and I just thought it was because of that text but the next weeks it got worse and worse. First, he pinched harder and harder and one day he started hitting and slapping me." I cried my eyes out and Anakin held me in his arms.

"It's okay, he can't hurt you anymore. You're save!" He spoke calmly and made me feel better. "It's okay, I'm here. Nobody can hurt you. I'll protect you, with my life if I have to!"

He kissed my forehead and I managed to calm down.

"I'm glad you saved me, I'm glad you're here." I whispered and wrapped one of my arms around his waist. He gave me one of his precious smiles which made me smile as well.

"I love you, Ahsoka."

"And I love you." He leaned down to kiss me.

Okay finally an update. I'm so sorry it's been almost a whole month without new chapters but I'll try updating more often now. Hope you enjoyed this story.

-Svenja