The look in his eyes made me realize his intentions, they were the farthest thing from pure. The look of lust and desire in his eyes surprised and excited me. I am not exactly the prom queen, I am about 250 pounds and at the illegal age of 17; but there was no escaping that longing in his eyes. The way his hand moves back and forth on his pants, almost as if he was trying to hide his thought process. I know it's wrong, I know the ungodly thoughts going through my mind couldn't lead anywhere other than trouble for the both of us. But I couldn't help what I was thinking, even with every other girl sitting in this classroom, it was like we were in our own little world, where we had our own language and our own rules. I was not used to receiving the look of desire that was reflecting in his eyes, it was exhilarating, flattering, and I had to check around to my peers and make sure that no one else noticed.

Now don't start to think the worst of me just yet. He is not married, he does not have any kids, and I will be 18 in a mere 4 months. I have run these thoughts through my head at least 32 times in the past two weeks trying to justify the butterflies in my stomach when it is time for his class. So far it makes me feel less guilty and helps me sleep better at night. However, it is not until night time that I rid of that deep longing in my gut, the one that I cannot hide from. The one I have been trying to hide from for a month now, thinking that the lingering glances were in my imagination. However, one day when the comments on my returned assignment had some subtle unprofessional comments like "nice outfit for spirit week," and "good work but I still think there are a few things you need to learn from me." Little things that could be completely overlooked by a normal eye, that is until I looked up and saw the redness in his cheeks and the subtle, yet definite wink that followed. This continues for most of the year, every once in a while there was the casual extra five minutes that I would spend fidgeting with my books in class, having to stay behind everyone else after class was released, which was led to his hand lightly directing the small of my back out of the classroom.

Fast forward to June, I am 18 now and have lost a good 50 pounds. And what do you know? But Sr. Morgan happened to be chaperoning the summer trip abroad that I had signed up for before taking his class. The night before the trip a million emotions ran through me. I just kept reading and rereading the email sent out by Sr. Morgan the night before about plans for the following twenty days. There were just boring agenda and preparation points, until the very end where he had sent attachments for everyone separately, going over little questions he may have about our parents role in the trip, or about the amount of spending money, or even discussing his concerns about whether or not our Spanish skills were strong enough for the part of Spain we were going to. I was expecting the basic procedures, hoping for a comment about being sufficient enough to not have to worry about my language skills, which was all there. Only in the end of the email was a note that said I am so excited to get to know you on a more personal level. I have had such an amazing time getting to know you this year, your intelligence and maturity far exceeds my expectations. I hope that I have made an impression on you as well, time will tell ;). See you tomorrow, Sr. Morgan.

I couldn't stop reading this. I knew I shouldn't have read as much into as I did, but at this point I was certain I was not making these feelings up in my head. There was no way this wasn't happening for him too. This trip was going to be the best time of my life, and all I had to do was act innocent until the time was right.