Natasha doesn't know what's worse. That she didn't see the bullet or that Pepper took it for her.

It's not she first time she's been shot at unexpectedly. She normally sees it coming though, either sees the shooter, or the weapon, or felt the tension. Something to tip her off. It wouldn't even be the first time she's been shot unexpectedly but usually she's quick enough to avoid a serious injury so she can fight her way out of any situation. It's not even the first time someone's been shot instead of her, plenty of people have gotten in the way of bullets meant for her or just been hit by ill aimed shots.

No one has ever jumped in front of her before, to take a bullet for her like that.

Now Pepper is bleeding out onto the sidewalk, and the guy who shot her is making a break for it and Natasha doesn't know what to do for a moment. She hesitates.

She never hesitates.

They were just heading to a coffee shop when it happened, Pepper holding her hand as if she would lose her in the movement of New York's and Natasha was smiling at her, because, well, Pepper is gorgeous and funny and Natasha thinks she might be happy.

She's not sure.

It's only been a couple of months since their first kiss, since she finally gave in to her desire to kiss Pepper. It had helped that Pepper had ramped up the flirting because she had been unsure about the other woman, about how she felt about Natasha.

Had been unsure until the moment Pepper jumped in front of her and took a bullet for her.

She left her bleeding on the sidewalk and went running after the guy who shot at her, getting a glimpse of long blonde hair and a black catsuit before losing her in the crowd and heading back to Pepper. Whoever had shot her was gone and would be back and Natasha would make them pay. Until then she needed to see to Pepper first.

Which was what made her realise she loved her. She couldn't remember ever letting a mark get away before, even one who had hurt someone she cared about. That didn't matter though, did it? Pepper mattered, bleeding onto her stupidly expensive perfectly tailored blazer, ruining it completely and she knew she was going to pissed about that later.

She just had to live long enough.

Ambulances had been called; Natasha could hear them in the distance with police cars and she didn't want to deal with civilian medics or law enforcement but Pepper was so pale and her blood so bright and she had taken a bullet for her.

At some point it had occurred to her to try and stem the bleeding, taking off her own jacket and pressing it down onto Pepper's chest. At some point a crowd had gathered around them, watching and whispering and Natasha blocked it all out to listen to Pepper's breathing.

"Tash-a?"

She heard that. Heard Pepper's voice crack as she spoke, her eyes still closed.

"I'm here Pepper," she said, "I got you."

"You stop her?"

"No. But I will."

Pepper didn't answer and Natasha was tempted to shake her, keep her awake, but then there were people pushing through the crowd and pulling her away. She almost broke the EMT's nose and wasn't let into the ambulance until she pulled a weapon from her hip and threatened to take the damn ambulance herself.

On the way to the hospital she held Pepper's hand and called Tony and Coulson.

x

Pepper was going to be fine.

Natasha had a hard time believing that though, sitting in the hospital room with Tony, watching her breathe gently while she slept. Neither of them had left since they'd arrived, a couple of Shield agents were outside, mostly there to stop Natasha from injuring anyone else and to make sure both of them ate something when the others weren't also hanging around in the small hospital room.

It got crowded easily and Natasha hated it, but she couldn't tear herself away from Pepper's side. Couldn't tear herself away from the woman she loved.

The woman who loved her?

"Are you okay?"

Tony's voice sounded too loud over the sound of Pepper's quiet breathing and the beeping of her monitors and the man looked as shocked as Natasha felt.

"I'm fine," she said, almost whispering.

"You're crying."

Natasha touched her cheeks and felt the damp skin for the first time. She hadn't even noticed. It had been a long time since she cried over anything for a reason that wasn't about frustration or pain. And even that had been taken away from her long ago. She remembered another woman, with dark red curls like her own, and crying because she was crying. Crying because she was gone.

She nearly said something to Tony about it – about her – but looked over at Pepper and wiped the tears from her eyes. She was going to be fine, she was fine and Natasha wasn't even sure why she was crying.

"Do you love her?" Tony asked, keeping his voice low this time.

Natasha looked over to him where he sat quiet and pale in the chair in the corner. There was no jealousy there, no ego in play, just a man worried about the woman he had known longer than almost anyone else. The woman he considered his best friend, still, even after their relationship and break up. He didn't care about that, he only cared about Pepper.

About the fact she had taken a bullet for Natasha.

"Yes."

"Good," he said.

They were silent again, for a long time, even as people came in and out, checking and visiting and trying to get them to eat. Natasha ate but Tony had lost his appetite. Natasha had apparently lost her ability to keep her emotions under tight control.

"Na-asha," Pepper muttered. She tried to sit up and both Natasha and Tony were up in a flash, urging her back down with careful hands.

"Hey Pepper," she said with a smile.

"Are you okay?" she asked and Tony laughed. Natasha smiled too, because it was so typically Pepper Potts.

"I'm fine," she said.

"Good, that's okay then."

She reached out with a shaky hand to take Natasha's, fingers fumbling to twine with hers and she smiled, closing her eyes again.

"How you feeling Pepper?"

"My chest is heavy," she said, "and it aches."

"You were shot," Natasha said, "you..."

She looked over at Tony who nodded and bent over to kiss Pepper on the forehead.

"I'm going to tell everyone you're awake," he said. "I'm glad you're okay Pep."

When he left the room, Natasha bent down and kissed Pepper gently on the lips for as long as the other woman would let her, before looking at her.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"I'm okay if you are," Pepper said, with a faint smile.

"You stepped in front of a gun for me. Why the hell did you do that?"

She didn't answer right away, Natasha already knew the answer and she rested her head on Pepper's pillow, watching her.

"You've been crying," Pepper said instead.

"Apparently."

"You didn't know?"

Natasha shook her head and Pepper frowned, then hissed in a breath when she shifted to look at her better.

"Ah, that hurt. A lot."

"Pepper, promise me, you'll never do that again. Please."

"I can't. I can't promise."

"Why not?"

"I just did it. I didn't even think about it, or hesitate. I just jumped," she said, voice a little strained. Natasha wanted to cry again, felt the tears this time pushing at her eyes.

"Why?"

Pepper kissed her, reverent with every touch as always.

"Isn't it obvious."

Natasha wanted to say yes, because she couldn't think of any other reason why this woman would take a bullet for her but she had to hear Pepper say it. Confirm it. Tell her the reason she thought Natasha was worth taking that bullet for. The reasons she thought Natasha was worth almost dying for.

"I love you," Pepper said, in that matter of fact tone she used when she was trying to get Tony to take her seriously. "I love you," she repeated, softer this time and Natasha kissed her, feeling the tears spill over and track down her cheeks until she could taste them on her lips as she kissed Pepper. She felt ridiculous, crying like this, felt vulnerable and stupid and horrible and happy.

"Natasha?" Pepper muttered pulling away to wipe the tears away.

"I love you too Pepper," she said, "I never cry. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to cry."

"You never have to apologise for crying."

Something deep down in Natasha disagreed with that, burning hot and angry within her and she fought it back, but knew the smile on her face wasn't quite right. She wasn't sure how she felt about that. Only that she loved Pepper.

She was sure about that.

"Pepper, please don't put yourself in danger like that again, please."

"If I don't, if you get shot, who is going to stop the bad guy?" Pepper said. "I can only do so much."

"You're hardly some blushing damsel in distress Pepper, I've seen you throw a punch," Natasha said with a grin. She loved seeing Pepper argue, she rarely got violent, but she didn't let people push her around either. There was a guy walking around New York who had learnt that the heard way.

"Yes, but it's not my job, I'm much better to the board room."

"Perhaps. I think I could make a super hero out of you."

"I don't like to fight Tasha, not even with you."

Natasha nodded.

"Are you willing to keep getting into danger though?" she asked.

"For you? Of course."

Natasha didn't know if that made her feel any better, but she would take it for now and maybe see if she could get some of Pepper's clothes lined with Kevlar or something.

"I think we're about to be interrupted," Pepper said with a sigh.

Natasha turned around to see Tony, Thor shoving him aside to see into the glass of the door. Pepper chuckled.

"Who do you think she was? The woman who shot at you?"

"I don't know," Natasha lied, not ready for any conversations about her past just then. "But I'll find her."

Pepper seemed to accept her answer and kissed her again.

"I would do it again in a heartbeat," she said.

"I know."

They kissed again, briefly as the jostling outside continued.

"You better let them in," she added, looking at the door again.

"I'd do the same for you," she said, before pulling the door open.

Her reply was drowned out by Thor as he burst into the room and had to be restrained from scooping Pepper up but it didn't matter.

Natasha knows how she feels and she figures that's the best part of all this.