You have MaddyR to thank for forcing my lazy ass to finish this chapter.

Lucifer respected Sam's wish. It was important to respect what Sam wanted because otherwise he would be just like everybody else who used him, lied to him and hurt him. He would not push Sam even if he didn't understand what was wrong. However, he realised that Sam needed some time to grasp the concept of Lucifer being nice and wanting the best for him. That was all very sweet but Lucifer was not going to let Sam wander around the world unprotected. By that time, it must have been known to many people that Sam was important to him and he was not going to let anyone use his attachment to Sam against him, to say nothing about the possibility of Sam truly getting hurt.

He watched Sam's inner battle and followed the taxi he used to get to Dean. Lucifer's wings may have been broken and he couldn't fly as fast as other angels, but it was enough to go after something as trivial and simple as a car. He waited outside the motel room and he listened to the quarrel between the Winchesters. He didn't know how to feel about the fact that Sam obviously avoided using his name. On one hand he understood it wouldn't improve the situation if Dean knew Sam was leaving him because Lucifer opened his eyes, especially not after Dean was right about Ruby. But there was this small but important part of him that was hurt and upset that Sam didn't talk about him. Lucifer would have bragged about having kissed Sam several times to anyone who would listen. Except there was nobody to listen.

When Sam set out on his directionless march across the country, Lucifer was always only couple of feet behind him, observing, guarding, marvelling. That was something Lucifer could never be tired of – watching Sam and thinking how wondrous the human was. It was not about Lucifer's vanity anymore – look at my vessel, he's so gorgeous – Lucifer was going through an angelic form of puberty and his love for Sam was very intense.

Lucifer knew that a human body was not supposed to go through so much emotional exertion, lack of sleep and physical activity in one day and he feared Sam might faint in the middle of nowhere. Luckily, there was an easy solution – he sent Sam some of his on strength and looked after his human throughout the night.

He didn't enter the diner with Sam. He waited outside, checking up on Sam through the glass. His heart was breaking when he saw Sam alone, exhausted and depressed; he could sense his emotions and even if they were dim, Lucifer perceived them strong enough to feel useless. He knew he could take Sam's worries and fear away, he could make him so happy he would lose his mind, but Sam didn't wish to let Lucifer do it. In a way, the angel understood; Sam was unsure and confused. Lucifer had seen it in his eyes – Sam could feel the connection between them and it frightened him how strong it was. Lucifer had to admit it was quite shocking, and he had centuries to prepare for Sam's existence and over two decades to adjust to the strong passion Sam could awake in him. And even then, he was overwhelmed when he finally stood face to face with Sam. He could only imagine what it felt to Sam who wasn't prepared to even believe in soul mates. Humans are not as perceptive as angels, but it still must have astonished him.

Then Sam went to the bathroom and the cashier left her spot behind the counter and started cleaning the table Sam had just left. She looked around herself and when she thought nobody was watching her, she undid two buttons on her uniform, slipped a hand under the shirt and pulled something out. When she was holding it in her hand, she buttoned the shirt again and then she changed her mind and undid the upper one. Lucifer had a quite clear idea about what she would attempt to do and it cost him all his powers not to do anything. He knew Sam would justify Lucifer following him if he saved him from a monster's clutches, but he had to let the monster attack first. He knew exactly what she was going to attempt to do, but he had to let Sam get in danger to save him. It seemed ludicrous and he didn't wish to expose Sam to any kind of jeopardy, but he understood it was necessary.

Sam walked out of the bathroom and – as Lucifer expected – was stopped by the girl. Lucifer couldn't hear their conversation but he saw Sam's look of discomfort. He couldn't say he wasn't ecstatic when he saw Sam's resistance even when he knew it was futile. Sam tried to walk away and wasn't allowed to which simultaneously brought the girl closer to him, close enough for her to touch him; it was time for action.

Lucifer mustered all the power he had. The sudden force surrounding him broke the glass front wall of the diner. It must have looked intimidating but it wasn't Lucifer's intention. He stepped closer and concentrated on the girl. He held her down with force much greater than the one needed to kill a human; and she stayed conscious for longer than he expected. After a while she finally lost consciousness and Lucifer released his grip on her. His grace crawled back inside of him and he looked like a human once again.

"Hi, Sam," he looked at the disconcerted human.

"Lucifer," Sam breathed out and it sounded like a prayer to the angel. "What happened?"

Good sign, Lucifer thought, no 'Lucifer, what have you done?' 'Lucifer, what is wrong with you?!' just 'Lucifer, what happened?'

"She wanted to hurt you," Lucifer explained, "She's a nymph."

"A nymph," Sam raised one eyebrow suspiciously, "like, a fairy."

"A nymph, which is much worse and more dangerous than a fairy. If she touched you with this-" Lucifer bowed and reached towards the unconscious girl's right hand. After a while he stood up again, holding a small, dark blue flower between his fingers. "You would be gone. I couldn't allow that."

"What does it do?" Sam asked, still too perplexed by the whole situation. His sleep-deprived brain had some difficulties embracing the rest of Lucifer's sentence, to say nothing about why they met so soon after Sam walked away resolutely.

"It hides fervid passion, painful longing so strong it might kill you and would certainly make you lose your mind." Lucifer gazed straight into Sam's eyes as he pronounced those words. They stared at each other for a while before Sam furrowed his brow.

"I guess you are a superior being who is completely indifferent to any of that." He snapped as his eyes fell on the flower.

"It has no power over me, that's true," Lucifer sighed, "but only because I couldn't desire you any stronger."

They stared at each other for long moments. Sam didn't know if he wanted to scream at Lucifer for being so melodramatic and making everything even more complicated or to kiss him. Lucifer could see that in Sam's eyes and he squeezed the flower in his hand in case Sam might actually initiate some sort of physical contact. The bloom shattered into a dust and sprinkled the still unconscious nymph.

"I said I wanted to be alone," Sam said upon waking up from his trance.

"And I let you go. You wouldn't have known I'd followed you if you weren't about to be attacked, I had no intention to reveal myself to you." Lucifer raised his hands in defence. "And I'll go now if you still wish to be alone."

"But it's not the same," Sam whispered and turned around to avoid facing Lucifer. "I'll know you're there, following me, watching me, protecting me..."

"And you honestly thought I would let you walk off and not keep an eye on you?" Lucifer asked in surprise.

"Yes. I did, actually," Sam muttered and glared Lucifer in the eyes. "I guess it was a mistake."

"I would never let you out of my reach now when I'm able to follow you, Sam. I don't want to and I won't." Lucifer said resolutely.

"In that case, you're not better than anyone else. I believed you were the one who would finally see me as a grown man who can take care of himself, but apparently you're just another guy trying to pamper me and protect me." Sam was exhausted and emotionally wrecked. "I thought you trusted me."

"I do-"

"No, you don't. You think you do, just like Dean does, but following me to protect me? That's not trust, that's concern. I don't want your care, I need to know you believe in me."

"But I do believe in you, Sam. But what would my trust be good for if your mind got deleted because of that nymph?" Lucifer took it more calmly than Sam had expected him to. It made him even madder; he wanted to get rid of that layer of security, the layer where Lucifer was the patient parent dealing with a mentally retarded child. This was the Lucifer the angel wanted the world to see and it was just as artificial as the stories that made him ruthless and wicked. Sam didn't know how, but he was sure he had met the real Lucifer, the kind, romantic show-off who was desperate to make him laugh.

"I'm tired of being saved." Sam muttered through his teeth very slowly to stress every syllable. "You know why I ran off with Ruby? I needed to prove everyone that I could do something on my own. Dean would never agree to any plan that involved me doing what had to be done to – well, what I thought I had to do to stop you. He'd say we had to think it through, that there was another option, that we had to stay together because we're the only thing the other has left… I'm sick of that."

"And it's understandable." Lucifer nodded and his expression didn't change a single bit. "It didn't end up quite as you wanted after all, did it?"

"Why are you doing this?" Sam asked with a tone of exhaustion to his voice. He wanted to shout at Lucifer but he was so damn tired.

"I do think your opinion is valid and I'm ready to listen to you whenever you wish to express it. I think you are fully capable of making your own decisions and taking care of yourself." Lucifer's expression finally tallied with what Sam had known about him. "But what I'm trying to tell you is – you don't have to do it alone. It's not a weakness to admit you need help; it's wise."

"That's rich coming from you," Sam retorted without fervour such a statement should possess.

"It is, actually," Lucifer smiled crookedly, "I should have shut up and take a look at what humans truly are and refuse to bow before them after. But I've learnt my lesson."

"So what now? Do we just forget what happened tonight and go be a nice couple?" Sam sighed and he looked at the still lifeless body by his feet.

"No. We learn from tonight and it will help us get to know each other. We've truly met just recently, haven't we?" Lucifer shrugged and for a while – and Sam knew it was probably a stupid trick his mind was playing on him – it seemed as if the air around Lucifer shimmered.

"In that case, I guess you're going to find out what I look like when I sleep very soon," Sam stifled a yawn with his hand but his lips parted again, "I think I'm gonna pass out the moment I reach something even remotely flat to lie on."

"See? You're not even able to feed yourself and sleep enough." Lucifer laughed. "Come here, I'll take you somewhere with a bed."

Sam obviously wasn't exaggerating when he spoke of falling asleep. His head fell onto his shoulder two minutes into the drive and in another one he was snoring slightly. Lucifer smiled tenderly. That's what it should have been; Sam safely within his reach as if they were always meant to be. He still had to learn his boundaries with Sam having to explain them.

They drove for quite some time, longer than Lucifer had intended when they sat into the car. Sam was deep in his peaceful slumber, the sky looked ambiguous and beautiful and the engine hummed soothingly. Lucifer had to admit cars were considerably useful and even though they had a bad impact on the Earth and its environment, there was an undeniable feeling of contentment and power when driving one. And they were a decent substitution for his broken wings even if not as subtle and efficient.

Having lost the ability to fly still hurt Lucifer. It wasn't just remorse and shame of being full of Grace and yet pinned down like a crippled eagle, sometimes it hurt him physically even if he wasn't entirely sure how it was possible since he had no material body. He wanted to show off before Sam so much, he wanted to spread his shining pinions like he used to but even the remnants weren't possible to move. He was ripped and burnt to shreds and it used to be unbearable and humiliating before he saw Sam and understood. Broken and twisted, designed to do evil when meaning good suddenly didn't seem as repulsive. Sam was radiant, brave and in need of guidance. Lucifer was sure he was creating a whole new meaning to the word frustration when he had to sit in his cage and just wait.

Sam woke up about three hours later. He looked around with confusion in his sleepy eyes but he didn't look alarmed when he spotted Lucifer. It seemed like he just nodded to himself internally, shrugged and closed eyes again. Lucifer hoped that was a good thing. They didn't speak; Sam didn't appear to be in a chatty mood and Lucifer could wait a little longer beside Sam after the eternity in agony.

"I've gotta pee," Sam murmured out of nowhere. He startled Lucifer a little when he broke the silence between them. Lucifer glanced over at his companion and he could see that Sam didn't say so just for kicks, he was probably holding it for quite some time.

"You know, next time, you should tell me before it's absolutely necessary." Lucifer smiled a little.

"Will do," Sam assured him, "there's a gas station in two miles."

"Two miles it is," Lucifer nodded and smiled gently as he realised there was going to be next time. If he didn't do something stupid, he was going to get a next time. That was worth all the gas stations in the world, no matter how filthy and dingy they were going to be.

They didn't speak until they arrived into the gas station. It wasn't as bad as Lucifer expected it to be; it was worse, actually. There were bright colours and logos he was sure he had seen before, hoards of mindless, unthinking people and even more awful commercialism than he expected. As he parked the car, he stared in front of himself and wished this place was filthy and abandoned.

"Uhm… is something wrong?" Sam inquired and looked at Lucifer in attempt to convey his discomfort with his expression, but it just didn't seem to work.

"Humans are disgusting," Lucifer pointed out without truly explaining anything. He kept gazing at the building in front of him as if he could make them disappear with just his sight. Sam felt a bit uneasy when he realised it probably wasn't that far from the truth.

"That's…thrilling," he said, "but not new."

"I won't go there, Sam," Lucifer warned.

"Okay. You don' have to. I'll just go do my business and I'll be back in a few secs and you'll wait here for me?" Sam suggested. God, was he dealing with an archangel or with a stubborn baby?

"Alright." Lucifer took his time answering and never let the gas station out of his sight.

"Great. I'll be right back. Try not to kill anyone or break anything or whatever," Sam was almost out of the car when Lucifer finally tore his eyes off the object of his loathing and he looked at Sam, smug smirk upon his lips.

"Or what?" He grinned.

Sam let out an exasperated sigh. "Really? That's what you say? That's the most childish and stupid answer you could have given."

"So what's gonna happen then?" Lucifer pretended he didn't notice Sam's impatience.

"I'm gonna think about that as I pee and tell you then," Sam answered and closed the door behind himself.

"Don't think about me too hard, that might be awkward." Lucifer opened his door to shout after Sam. Winchester rolled his eyes and turned around quickly to hide his flushed face. God, was he blushing again? He was, right? Damn Lucifer and the fucking impact he had on Sam's existence.

Sam tried to get back as fast as possible. Even though he knew Lucifer wouldn't start bloodshed on his own, he wasn't that difficult to provoke and a lot of things could flip him off. Sam believed Lucifer would try to be good for him but you never know.

But Lucifer was right where Sam had left him – in the Porsche that couldn't be more obvious if he tried, parked at the edge of the parking lot as if he was afraid the car might get some car disease. He smiled a little to himself with relief.

"So, were you good?" he asked playfully as he sat down beside Lucifer.

"The best," the angel replied and started the engine. They rode back to the highway. "Do I get a kiss for that?"

Sam stared blankly for a while. He didn't know how to react to such a request – he wanted to kiss Lucifer senseless, but apparently they were "taking things slowly" and he didn't think he could do just one small kiss.

"Or I'll keep it for later," Lucifer added quickly, noticing Sam's hesitance. The human looked at him with pure adoration. How could this guy who spent ages in hell be more sensitive than most people Sam's ever talked to?

"You have it stored safely," Sam informed him. They drove further and Sam knew he had slept through at least one state. "Where are we?"

"Somewhere in Utah. Why?" Lucifer's eyes never left the road. Sam was a bit disappointed; yesterday – was it just yesterday? – he was head over heels for Sam, never stopped looking at him. Sam knew he told Lucifer off for it, but in reality, he'd been so happy to have somebody's attention.

"I wanted to know where you're kidnapping me to." Sam explained and relaxed in the seat. If Lucifer didn't know where they were going, it was probably going to be a long trip, just like when Dean decided to take a job on the other side of the States, just for the joy of pushing Baby all around the continent. The only thing missing was classic rock, but Sam could live without it.

"Denver," the angel said.

"Denver in Colorado?" Sam asked with surprise. "What's in Denver?"

"I don't know. That's why I'm going there," Lucifer was playing mysterious and Sam didn't know if he wanted to laugh or slap him. Probably both, but he just asked once more, obviously giving Lucifer a great time.

"Why Denver?"

"I've read this book and a lot of it took place in Denver. I just wished to see the city." Lucifer admitted. Sam was speechless for a while. Lucifer read a book. Lucifer read a book and liked it so much he wanted to visit Denver in Colorado just for that.

"What book?" he asked because he didn't have the heart to tell Lucifer that he had been to Denver and that there was absolutely nothing there.

"On the Road,"

"You've read On the Road? Well, if that's what you're coming at, I'm glad you don't want to hitchhike all over the States. Or take Benzedrine." Sam laughed a little. He had read the book ages ago, back at high school when they spoke about it. There was something that reminded him of his life in that book – not having a real home, going back and forth without any direction. He had envied Sal and Dean and all the others their choice. They went on the road willingly, not because their father had gone mad after their mother had died.

"I sensed going to Denver was the one thing you wouldn't mind. I wasn't sure about hitchhiking, but I was certain you wouldn't go for the drugs." Lucifer finally looked at Sam. There was a spark in his eyes, as if he was proud of himself for going on this trip, for knowing Sam so well, or maybe for having read the book, Sam couldn't tell. But there was happiness in the angel's eyes and that was all that truly mattered to Sam.

"No drugs," Sam shuddered. He had his share and he did see where it led. The delirium he had suffered right before he released Lucifer from the cage wasn't something he wanted to even recall. Of course because it felt awful but partly even for the fear of remembering how exhilarating, thrilling it was to be powerful, how magnificent and light he felt as his heart beat faster, blood rushed through his brain, thoughts faster than ever.

"You're my righteous man," Lucifer chuckled and his right hand moved slightly to the right as if he was reaching for Sam's thigh but realised it before they touched. Sam felt a little bit disappointed.

"You're hopeless." Sam laughed as they passed the border of Colorado.

"My apologies," Lucifer bowed his head a little as he said that. Sam was sure he would have made a curtsey or something if he wasn't driving.

The landscape was dull. Sam wondered – like many times before – what it must feel for a European to arrive to the USA and then just drive, seemingly forever, and yet pass just a tiny bit of the country even though back home they'd be through three countries already. He was used to the life on the road, he didn't know anything else apart from those few months at Stanford. It felt like lifetimes ago.

"Tell me more about Heaven," Sam asked after a careful consideration. He didn't want to make Lucifer uncomfortable or sad, but he was also extremely curious. And he loved listening to Lucifer, it was very soothing and felt like being wrapped in a blanket with a cup of hot chocolate in hands.

"It's probably very different now," Lucifer replied in a husky voice. He glanced at Sam and smiled softly. He knew the human hated himself because he thought he upset Lucifer. It was sweet and the nicest thing anybody did for him. "But you don't want facts, do you?"

"I just want to listen to you," Sam admitted.

"Heaven has no seasons, it's always that beautiful, cheerful spring that is warm but not hot, cool but not cold and everything seems nicer just because of that. Or at least it used to be like that, but sometimes we were disobedient – not as much as to get us locked up in Hell –" Lucifer chuckled bitterly at this and his voice broke. Sam could swear he saw the glow Lucifer had around him whenever they were together diminish a little.

"I'm here," Sam whispered. He didn't want to say he was sorry; sorry didn't mean anything, it didn't reassure you, calm you down or ease your sorrow. He knew himself how much he wanted to strangle people who said sorry, but he couldn't because they were sorry.

"Then it started raining," Lucifer went on, without acknowledging that he heard Sam, but the latter knew he did. "Not the exciting, thunderstorm rain that is scary but also beautiful. Not even the refreshing rain on a warm day that you let run down your skin. It was the long, grey, ugly downpour that lasts for eternity and makes you miserable. It was supposed to teach us to be good. Don't think it worked."

"Did you… did you have houses or something?" Sam asked sheepishly. "I mean, I get whole Heaven was your home and if the rain was to punish you…"

"Are you asking whether we had a place to hide from the rain?" Lucifer laughed. "Yes. The rain was to punish us but not to make us freeze and die – metaphorically, but still. It was enough of a penalty to be locked inside without the possibility to enjoy Heaven's wonders. Then God would send us away on a mission away and we wouldn't get back for a long time."

"Like…house arrest inside out."

"More or less," Lucifer nodded. Sam had a feeling Lucifer was going to say something but found it difficult to pronounce the words. Sam wasn't going to be the one to make Lucifer suppress his thoughts.

"I used to think that was the worst thing that could happen to me." Lucifer spoke finally. "I never appreciated the fact that I could always come back."

Sam didn't want to say that at least Lucifer had had somewhere to return to, even if he couldn't visit the place anymore. At least he could go there in his memories, seek comfort in childhood joys. While he certainly did have happy memories, they were never connected to a place. He had never had a home. The only place he had actually wanted to go back to was Stanford, and look how it turned out. The only constant in his life was the impala and that wasn't too much of security.

They sat side by side and understood each other without saying another word. Lucifer knew what Sam was thinking about and Sam knew he knew. They passed a sign that stated they were almost in Denver and while Sam did enjoy the ride, he was also really looking forward to hitting a bed after a nice hot shower.

I'm sorry for the shameless fangirling over "On the Road" in this chapter but I just finished the book and it was amazing. In case you didn't know, "On the Road" was an inspiration for Supernatural - the two main characters Sal and Dean (right) spent their lives on going all over America etc. It gives you a pristine sensation so I recommend you all to read it.