"I'm not supposed to miss you, I'm not supposed to care"
― Debra Cox

Steve lounged comfortably in the living room of the Avengers tower, a book in hand as he stretched out across the sofa his legs crossed at the ankles in a rare moment of indulgent relaxation. Despite Steve thoroughly enjoying the presence of his fellow Avengers, ever since Natasha had left he had become rather distant and introverted; preferring his own company and the peaceful embrace of silence. It wasn't that he held any dislike for his comrades, but rather that when they were all together it reminded him that one of the members, that meant the most to him, was missing. After all her covers had been blown in the aftermath of S.H.I.E.L.D.'s desecration she had left, and 9 months later no word had been heard from her. It had been a struggle for Steve to dispel the enchanting red head from his mind, frequently he found that within the mist of a daze his thoughts drifted to her face, her smile, her smirk. Oh how he loved that smirk... In his dreams he was haunted by the feel of her firm plump lips against his, the touch of her hand against his cheek emblazoned by the heat of her soft alabaster skin. More often than not on his outings in the city, his head had turned more than once as a red headed woman walked past, her hair gripping his attention and bestowing upon him the bittersweet memories of her. Now he desperately sought refuge in the menial tasks that life brought, including reading, it wasn't that he still fawned over her but rather the residue of those yearning thoughts remained causing discomfort that he'd rather do without. Consumed by the contents of his book, it wasn't until he heard a cupboard door in the kitchen close, that he realised he was not alone. Glancing up briefly, and expecting to see a hungered Tony Stark sifting through the cupboards for a snack, he was completely astonished to find Natasha stood by the sink filling a glass of water. Steve's lips parted in awe, his eye brows raised high upon his forehead in complete bewilderment. Her figure appeared to be slighter than before, however she had not lost the powerful curves that his eyes would often consume with wonderment. Her scarlet tresses were now slightly darker however they still sported the same luscious curls that framed her features perfectly. His book fell dramatically from his hands as he swiftly moved to standing, before managing to utter,

"Natasha?" Turning to address him, Natasha revelled in the way his arms hung listlessly at his sides and how his expression of shock amused her so much, in turn inducing one of her trademark smirks to adorn her lips. Her voice was rich and low as she responded playfully,

"Hi Captain." His features now shifted to one of annoyance, as his brow lowered and adopted an angered crease in the middle as he frowned, before he cautiously made his way around to other side of the sofa in order to address her accordingly,

"After all this time and all I get is a 'Hi Captain'? Are you kidding me Nat?" With a brisk sigh of exasperation he combed his fingers through his hair, before allowing his head to drop, finding it hard to bestow his gaze on the woman he had yearned for. Natasha's expression now shifted to one of smug amusement to endearing concern as she walked slowly towards him, before using her finger to softly tilt Steve's face up to her,

"Hey... I'm here now." Her voice had now lost its playful jeer, but was replaced by a tone of soft reassurance. His clear blue eyes glistened wistfully as they met hers, and she immediately regretted looking into those perfect sapphire orbs, as she felt her stomach dip in a rare show of guilt. The golden haired soldier could not delve into the secure psyche of Natasha, unable to feel the uncommon emotion that now flooded her core, he did the one thing that induced a sharp pang in her chest, the one thing she didn't expect him to do; he moved away from her. Taking a step back his head resumed its low position, accompanied by slow shakes side to side in disbelief, as finally he spoke, his voice broken and pained,

"That's not the point Nat, anything could've happened to you and I wouldn't have known... and now you've been back here for how long and you didn't even think to tell me? I... Jesus Christ Nat." He now stood upright, although his shoulders still remained slumped as he glanced out the window, a frown still contorting his features as he was overwhelmed by the feeling of disappointment and hurt. Natasha stood her ground refusing to step towards him lest it pushed him away again, something she wasn't sure she could endure once more, so staying put she addressed him with a calm, clear and concise tone,

"Steve, look at me... okay... I admit I've been back for at least 24 hours..." An aggravated and infuriated groan emitted from Steve's mouth as he shuffled his feet slightly, his eyes rolling up to the ceiling as he tilted his head back, wishing to no longer have her in his eye line. Placing her hand out in a halting signal she continued,

"... but I'm not good at this stuff. I didn't know how to tell you, because these past 9 months have been hard Steve... and it would have been so much better if you had been there to watch my back, but I had to do it on my own." After turning away from her, he now slowly turned back to face her, his eyes scanning her features, ensuring she was being sincere. His expression had softened and held the gentle look of attentiveness that he wore so well, and Natasha was sure many women had fallen prey to. Natasha now lowered her head looking down at her fingers which she intertwined with each other, reflecting her discomfort, and Steve took this as a clear show of honesty on her part, before she managed to hush quietly,

"I missed you." Before she looked indefinitely to the left, avoiding Steve at all costs before she couldn't take it anymore, emotional honesty made her shifty and uncomfortable so she decided to do the one thing she did best; leave. However Steve had other ideas, hearing her be so sincere had caused the crippling disappointment and anger to diminish rapidly as he followed her, grabbing hold of her wrist and pulling her back towards him,

"Nat stop." They now stood before each other, a mere few inches of space separating them, as Natasha's eyes seemed intrigued by their feet, refusing to meet his gaze. His warm hearty voice broke through the heavy silence that now filled the room,

"I missed you too." Affectionate smiles broke out upon their faces as they gazed upon one another, both feigning indifference to the fact that their fingers now curled around each other in an endearing show of tenderness. Neither would admit it but perhaps absence does make the heart grow fonder, for it was clear to see that the hurt and anger they had both felt towards each other was sourced from a deep fondness. One that would test the boundaries of partners and lovers.