The first thing he does when he wakes up in hell is throw up. Or, at least try to – the absence of a truly corporal form makes this a little tricky. But apparently the sensation of having every last one of your illusions and delusions forcibly stripped from you translates as nausea. And, as it turns out? He'd had a lot of both.

After the feeling eventually subsides, he sits on the ground near a rocky crag, shaking slightly, as he remembers the events that had led him here. Had he really-? And then- Oh gods, Kakarrot- AND his nephew-?! …oh. That wasn't so- SERIOUSLY?! He had actually though that was a good idea?! Oh, he'd died then. At least now it couldn't get any- THE JUDGE OF THE DEAD?! He'd- he'd- THE JUDGE OF THE DEAD?!

…he's going to be here forever…

Also, discovering you have morals sucks when you find them too late to do anything useful with them. Like off yourself for the good of the universe. …and he'd thought he'd left that melodramatic streak behind him when he was ten.

…why hadn't anyone told him he was turning into a monster? In a way that made it clear that this was a bad thing, that it? Then again, he'd been raised the way saiyans had been raising their brats for over a century, ever since Frieza found them. Speaking of whom, how had he not realised working for that lizard was a bad idea? Why hadn't he just grabbed a pod and run as far and fast as possible, maybe found Kakarrot and-

-oh right, Kakarrot.

…

…damn but he'd fucked up there. And that was coming from his history of fucking things up. Gods, if his father was still around, he'd-

He freezes as a horrifying realization strikes him.

He's dead.

He'd been a proper saiyan in life.

And he's in hell.

His father is also dead.

His father had also been a proper saiyan.

Therefore-

Therefore-

Therefore he had better hide his ass, because when his father found out what he'd done (and he would find out (he always found out (everything (always)))), he would be coming for Raditz's blood, and if there was anyone who could figure out a way to kill a ghost, it was Bardock.

He curses as he darts for the cover of a mountain range. Life had been easier when he was insane – and he knows how that, after over twenty years in Frieza's service, he had been quite insane, just like Vegeta and Nappa. Things hadn't been as scary when he was insane. Well, except death. Death was always scary. Gods, he is dead, and he's still scared of dying! So insanity wouldn't have actually helped here after all.

Gods, morals and sanity – they really knew how to stick it to a guy in Hell. Which makes sense. It being hell and all.

He ends up hiding near a fountain of blood and a tree, which are being guarded by a pair of oni. No other ghosts are near here – which is a little strange, because the oni don't seem that tough, but whatever. Things seem to work differently down here, anyway. There's this weird yellow ring floating over his head, for one. Then there's the fact that his own solidity seems to vary from moment to moment – he's sitting on a rock one instant, then next he's sitting in it. The only thing that reliably holds him up is the ground, and thank the gods for small blessings. So maybe the oni are legitimately dangerous and he just can't tell. Honestly, that just makes it a better place to hide – no one would think to look for a coward by something dangerous.

And he is a coward. That's another of those things he knows now. He was always hiding behind something when he was alive – Vegeta and Nappa, the threat of Oozaru form, bravado. It wasn't even something he's been aware he was doing. He'd been scared for so long, it didn't register that he was afraid by the time he died. Just one of those many cheerful pieces of self-awareness you got when you no longer had any secrets from yourself. Gods, hadn't he had any good traits?

He's surprised when his mind provides an answer to that, moreso because the answer is 'yes.' He was loyal. He had never faltered in his service to his prince, and not just because Vegeta had been stronger or would destroy Frieza and free them one day, but because he respected the younger man, his strength, his courage, his intellect. Vegeta was the prince of all saiyans, he had been owed Raditz's allegiance, but it was never something Raditz gave grudgingly, even if he did mouth off a lot. Even dying, his last act had been to aid Vegeta, making sure the communication line to the prince was activated in his scouter.

And he hadn't wanted to kill Kakarrot or his nephew. 'A true warrior never hesitates to kill, not even his own brother!' Then why had he prolonged the fight? Kakarrot had been helpless at his feet, the green guy had been powering up his attack; he could have finished it then and there. A snapped neck or a ki blast and, boom, done, no more brother. Then it would have been kill the green guy, grab his nephew, and hole up somewhere while he waited for someone to come and get him. Maybe clear the planet while he was waiting, get the brat started in his training.

He could have won.

If he'd taken that kill shot.

If he'd killed his baby brother.

Which, as it turned out, he couldn't do. That had been a very inconvenient truth to discover, especially after his declaration not two minutes earlier. …yeah, he'd handled that badly.

Really badly.

…

Hell sucks. Which is the point, of course, but still.

…

…he's just going to stay here until his spine grows back. Or grows in for the first time. Or until Bardock comes along and kills him. Whichever comes first. Actually, he'll probably run if Bardock comes. Death is still scary.

So he stays where he is, watching the two oni and thinking, something he realizes he didn't do much when he was alive. He thinks about what he might have done differently. Like maybe turn off his scouter and tell Kakarrot the real reason he'd come to find him – to get another saiyan on their side to fight Frieza when the time came – as opposed to that ridiculous story about needing help clearing a planet. Though he didn't care if it had been wrong, he was still impressed with himself for getting that one out with a straight face. As if Vegeta would need outside help with something as simple as that! Still, it would have been an easy lie for anyone listening in on his transmissions to swallow, if only because they did so love to see Vegeta forced to do things he didn't want to, like admit to lacking the strength to accomplish a task he'd been assigned. If Raditz had asked his brother, instead of ordered, if he'd told the truth instead of lied, would Kakarrot have come with him?

And would father kill him for getting both himself and Kakarrot killed… or for not striking the finishing blow himself? Bardock had been a cold man, a shining example of a saiyan warrior, especially for a third class. He doubts Bardock would have hesitated to strike him down if he had tried to rebel like that, him or Kakarrot.

…he wonders what truths his father had had to face about himself when he got here.

OoOoOoOoO

Time… probably passes? It's hard to tell down here, where nothing truly changes. He begins to get the hang of the whole 'solid/not solid' thing – it's all a matter of focus, a bit like flying, really. Only staying solid's more tiring, at least when he's doing it consciously.

Time must be passing, though, because something on that tree the oni guard starts to smell mighty tasty. Which is a surprise in and of itself because, he realizes, he hasn't been hungry since he got here. And this is nothing short of flabbergasting, because hunger and saiyans go together like- like fighting and saiyans! Which, admittedly, he hasn't felt like doing since he got here either, but that probably has less to do with not having a body anymore and more to do with all that guilt his conscience brought with it when it woke up. That had happened at about the same time his morals appeared, so he hadn't noticed its presence until later. He doesn't appreciate it much, mostly because he doesn't like feeling guilty, especially since there's nothing he can do to assuage the guilt since he is one, dead, and two, already in hell.

That's not important, though. What's important is that, whatever it is that's growing on that tree, he needs some of it, more than he's ever needed anything before. He doesn't even need all of it, just a piece. He doesn't know how he knows this, but he does. Just one piece, but he needs it, almost more than he needs to hide.

Almost.

There are still the oni to consider. He's learning a bit how hell works, but he doesn't know all the rules, and he doesn't know how strong these two are, and they guard the tree. They don't look like they'd be an issue, but last time he assumed his victory was assured… well, he'd ended up here. So he waits, the scent of the thing he needs driving him half out of his mind, but he waits. Let it never be said that eldest son of Bardock was a complete fool.

And, as it turns out, he's not waiting long (maybe (time down here is still confusing)). A short eternity after the scent appears, his attention is brought from remembering Vegetasei to his current location as something drops screaming from the sky to land not too far from the tree, to the oni and Raditz's surprise.

It's Kakarrot.

He hadn't expected to see his brother again, and he's not sure what to think of it now, and he really doesn't know what to say to him, if anything at all. So he stays hidden and watches Kakarrot beat the oni with ease - and though his brother also has a yellow hoop floating over his head, he seems to have no trouble staying solid. Must have to do with having led a virtuous life or something. And… he knows it shouldn't be this funny, but watching the oni try and fling Kakarrot out of hell with that wooden contraption is really hilarious.

It's also an opportunity.

While the three of them are distracted, Raditz flashes over to the tree and climbs it. It's full of lush, golden-orange fruit, gently blushing pink in places, and it's these the scent has been coming from. He doesn't waste time, not even to bask in being in the center of this glorious scent. He grabs a piece of fruit and gets back to where he'd been watching from. They're still at it, and no one seems to have noticed him. Good.

A moment later they stop and confer a bit, then lead Kakarrot towards a nearby mountain and show him a tunnel.

It's a way out of hell.

He watches, stunned, as his brother runs through, pausing only to eat a piece of fruit he had apparently stolen off the tree (and when in the world had he managed to do that?!). The oni leave, returning to their task of guarding the tree. Raditz remains, hidden in the rocks, too stunned to move. A way out of hell. The thing he needs and a way out!

A soft plopping sound snaps him out of his reverie, and he looks down to see his piece of fruit on the ground. He'd lost his grip on his solidity. He manages to firm up again long enough to hide his prize in the rocks, but then he has to rest for awhile, because being solid so long has exhausted him. While he rests, he looks at the fruit. So, this is what he's been craving all this time. And it's obviously good for saiyans, because Kakarrot looked incredibly invigorated after he ate his piece. Only…

He doesn't want to eat it.

It looks good, and it smells better, but he really, really just doesn't want to eat it. It's what he needs, whatever instincts he received upon becoming a ghost are screaming at him that this is what he needs, but he doesn't know what he's supposed to do with it.

It's really annoying.

OoOoOoOoO

Hi all, I'm doing another Raditz story! 'cause I reread DBZ last spring/early summer and, for gods know what reason, fell in love with the guy. I blame the hair. The guy has crazy-awesome hair. Also, gotta admire him a little for seeing King Yemma and going 'I can take him.' I mean, on the one hand, crazy-stupid thing to do, but on the other, that had to take some serious stones. And yeah, whenever Raditz mentions the Judge of the Dead, he's talking about Yemma – that's the saiyan term for him (in my world, at least).

As with most of my stories, this one came about because I am, if not the queen, then at least the Champion of fiddly details, and I read in the DBZ wiki that, in one video game at least, Raditz apparently gets out of hell and into a relationship of some sort with Princess Snake. And I really wanted to know how that happened. SO NOW WE'RE FINDING OUT! Same goes for why those peaches are involved. And I know they've technically got a different name in the show and games, but they also don't seem to be referenced much (maybe I'm reading the wrong fics) and I want you all to know what I'm talking about.

Again, as always, I love fiddly details, but I also tend to play fast and loose with them when it suits my fancy. I'm doing that with quite a few things in this story, but in a consistent manner. So grab your scouter and join me for this ride – I can guarantee you haven't seen this one before! (Because there are almost no fics where Princess Snake is a main character – seriously, there's like, five, I checked (unless said fics like this are hiding on sites that are not ff.n or AO3 (in which case, please direct me towards them, I am open to new sources of literature))).

And, in my experience, the person a liar lies the most to? Is themselves.