Spoilers for Waterloo Road series 10.

Warnings: possible triggers for self-harm

Blood welled up from the small cut on Leo's wrist. It stung but that wasn't what Leo was laying attention. Strangely enough the blood slowly flowing from the shallow cut held his attention as it dripped onto the tiled floor of the bathroom. He hadn't meant to cause the cut but he'd noticed his Father's razor blade just sitting on the counter and all the pain and anger from the last few weeks came welling up. Leo didn't know what had possessed him to put the cool steel to his wrist and press down but he had. And now he seemed unable to pull himself from the trance as he watched the blood drip.

"Hurry up or we're going to be late!" Vaughan Fitzgerald voice carried up the stairs, pulling Leo from his own thoughts and back to reality. Quickly Leo wiped the blood from the floor and cleaned his wrist. It had stopped bleeding now and Leo felt his thoughts re-ordering. Leo felt guilt welling up as he thought about what he'd just done. He knew it was wrong and he should probably tell his Father or maybe Justin but it was just the one off. It wasn't like Leo was going to make a habit of it. The urge had been a mistake. Nothing else and nothing more. Except as Leo went to go downstairs he felt himself glancing back to where he'd placed the razor. Before he knew what he was doing, he put it in his pocket and left the room.

"What where you doing up there?" Allie asked.

"Nothing." Leo said, nervously pulling at his sleeve to cover the small cut.

"Well, you're here now so we better get going." Leo nodded. Justin was just heading down the drive when Leo went to climb into the back with Floyd and Tiffany. He went to say something to his brother but Justin had already walked away without so much as a glance back at him.

"Come on Leo, we're going to be late." Tiffany said, giving him a gentle pull into the car. Leo sighed and climbed in. The drive to school was relatively uneventful but Leo felt more self-conscious than usual. Maybe it was a guilty conscious. The razor was still in his pocket and Leo felt himself fingering it, wondering if he should use it again or not. When Vaughan turned around to ask if they were alright Leo instantly regretted the thought. As the car pulled up outside the school, Leo decided he would get rid of the blade as soon as he had the chance to.

His first lesson of the day was PE with Mr Reid, his least favourite lesson. His Mum had used to give him letters to get out of this lesson but his Dad wouldn't let him. It wasn't that Leo disliked PE; he just didn't enjoy being compared to his brother. In their old school, Justin was brilliant at everything, even here, causing all these problems, Justin was still the best at everything and their teachers all compared Leo with his brother. Mr Reid was one of the worst, telling him to work harder at the games they were forced to play but Leo had never been overly athletic. Maybe if he'd managed to become friends with some of the people in his classes then he'd enjoy it more but he wasn't.

The students in the school weren't exactly unfriendly; they just weren't over-excited to become friends with Leo. He couldn't decide if it was because the head-teacher was his Father or if Justin's attitude had made the other students hate them. Either way Leo found himself isolated from his fellow pupils.

…

Break came around slowly and Leo was just deciding whether to try and find Justin when he felt the razor in his pocket. He'd forgotten it was there and as he fingered it he had a tiny urge to feel the cool metal on his skin again. Except that was ridiculous. Leo shouldn't be thinking these things. That morning was an isolated incident nothing more.

Out of the corner of his eye, Leo saw Justin so he called for him to wait up. "Not now Leo, I'm busy." Justin replied as Tiffany walked down the corridor and Justin pushed past Leo to follow her.

Leo didn't move for a second as he watched his brother go after Allie's daughter. It should have been a good thing, to see his brother being friendly to Allie's children rather than trying to break her and their Father apart except tore a little at Leo seeing Justin leave for Tiffany just like their Dad had left for Allie. Except Leo was being ridiculous. Justin was still there and Tiffany was nice, just like her Mum.

"Move out of the way." A girl with big black hair, that Leo thought was called Shaznay, pushed Leo out of the way. She murmured to Lisa and they both laughed as they walked away. Leo fingered the blade again and was just considering to use it again when the bell went, signalling the end of break.

…

Leo forgot all about the blade in his pocket for the rest of the day until he got home that night. He'd decided to walk home that day, having enough of being cramped in the back of the car. Anyway, he thought he could do with the fresh air after the strange day he'd had. Leo expected his Father and Allie to be at the house when he got back so when he got to the house to find the car missing he was a little worried.

"Mum and Vaughan went out." Floyd said as Leo walked into the house. "Tiffany went out and I don't know where Justin is."

"Where are you going?" Leo asked upon seeing that Floyd was changed out of his school things.

"Out, Mum'll be back soon." And with that Leo was alone in the house. It wasn't the first time that Leo had been left alone while the others went to do their own thing but for some reason this time there hit a nerve with him. It wasn't long ago that Leo would have loved the peace and quiet of the house with no one else in the house but now all Leo wasn't was some company.

Taking off his jacket, Leo remembered the razor in his pocket so he took it out and placed it on his bedside table. He sat there for a while, just looking at it, trying to work up the nerve to just get rid of it. The sound of the door opening and his Dad and Allie's voice's drifting up the stairs made Leo start a little. He pulled the blade back into his pocket as he headed to the top of the stairs.

He heard Allie's voice drift up towards him. "They're all out."

"Finally, some peace and quiet. If only they'd all just stay out of the house for a while." His Dad answered and Leo felt tears come unbid to his eyes. Before he knew what he was doing, Leo went down the stairs, meeting Vaughan and Allie in the hallway. "Leo?" He didn't stop at his Father's questioning statement, just pushed past the two of them and out of the door, trying desperately to keep the tears from falling.

He didn't know how long he walked but when he eventually stopped Leo saw he'd come to the harbour. Leo's fist was around the razor and he slowly pulled it out of his pocket. Glancing around, slowly, Leo put the cool blade to his skin. The tears had gone now as Leo pressed deeper into the cut he'd made that morning. As the bright red blood welled up, Leo felt all the pain he was feeling inside fall away. The stinging pain didn't really hurt, instead it was a relief. As if his emotions were being made physical.

As the blade went deeper and deeper Leo started to relax more and more. Finally he dropped the blade back into his pocket and just watched the bright red blood drip onto the floor.

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