Severus Snape was sitting in his quarters, setting everything out for his once-in-the-year-drinking-session. For it was Halloween. The day the dead were close and the gates to heaven and hell opened a peak. You could hear the voices from beyond the veil if you just listened closely. Thus Severus drowned them out – literally. This year was worse than any year before, because the living reminder of one of those voices had come to walk these halls. As arrogant as his father, strutting down the corridors and sticking his nose in the air as if he was royalty. Not even the Malfoy brat was that conceited! He filled his glas with the brandy Minerva had presented him with for his last birthday and toasted to his empty walls.
"To green eyes!", he said bitterly into the dark room and set the glass to his lips. But at that exact moment, he felt a touch at his neck. Startled, he jumped and spilled the contents of the glass down his front.
"Bloody hell!", he said and turned around, the shiver still tingling where he had been touched. But there was no one there. He immediately lighted his living room and as the fire started burning in the grate and on the candles, shadows were cast off and a completely empty room greeted his sight. Creeped out by this, he set his glass down and – feeling very foolish – looked behing his sofa. As soon as he bend over it and found nothing, he heard a chuckle. He whipped around again and then jumped to his feet.
"Who is this? Reveal yourself!", his own words brought sense back to him and he confidently cast "Homenum Revelo!"
Nothing whatsoever happened, he cast further spells to ensure there was no living creature with him and found fear leaping at his chest, when he heard the familiar chuckle again.
"Ever so paranoid, Sev."
He gulped, when he realized whose voice it was and asked with a disbelieving, shaky voice "Lily?"
"Correct. Finally!", she laughed and he turned on his own axis, still, he could not see her. All logic fled him as unfullfilled desire took hold of his senses and he pleaded "Where are you? I want to see you, I want to touch you – Lily!"
He heard her sigh "I am sorry, sweetheart but you cannot. I am beyond the veil, you know that.", she chided softly and he gave a desperate sound "Don't... Oh, Sev! I did not come here today to hear you cry, darling."
"Where are you? Please Lily...", he pleaded, his voice desperate and his eyes filling with tears at this cruel joke.
"Sev, listen, I do not have the time.", she said urgently "It is only today that I have been allowed to contact you. Only this day I will be able to contact anyone and never again will I be able to reach out for you or anybody else. Can you imagine how I yearn to talk to my baby, my little boy?"
Snape closed his eyes and ground out "Why are you here then? Go to him!"
His jealousy was evident and she let the subject drop "Or to Petunia, that vindictive little wrench!"
Snape scowled, whatever Petunia had done during Lily's lifetime, Lily had always forgiven her. Why was she so angry now?
"But I have come here, because it is here that I can do good, Severus.", she said "For the loved ones I left behind. You and Harry."
He gulped again, yearning and jealousy fighting in his gut.
"Please look at him, look at my child with open eyes! I am begging you-"
"No, Lily, don't! You don't have to beg... You never..."
"But I do! Severus, listen, look, open your eyes. Look at my Harry, my little baby, how he is suffering! That horrible creature, who called herself my sister, what she and her husband did to him. Open your eyes! I see worse ahead, Severus. Please promise me you will look, you will listen!"
"I promise, I promise you everything!", he said immediately "Please show yourself."
"Severus, take him away from there, take him. He is yours, Severus, he is yours!", her voice was fading fast and he frowned at those last words. His? But how...? "They will hurt him, if you do nothing, they will take everything he has left and kill him. Save my child. Save our..."
And her voice was gone. Standing in the middle of the room he gulped several times, trying hard to moisten his throat but failing. What had this been? Lily was there and then again, he could not see her. He brushed the hair out of his eyes. Harry was his? But that couldn't be. The child was a spitting image of James... A spitting image, ridiculously so... Could it be? But that was impossible!
At that very moment a firm knock pulled him out of his thoughts and he went to the door, legs shaking. When he opened it, he found the corridor empty. He stepped out and onto something. When a wail penetrated the empty corridor, he jumped back and looked down. In a bundle of black clothes something was stirring and crying pathetically. Severus kneeled and opened up the bundle, only to freeze at the sight.
A baby boy was lying there, naked and crying. It was bitter cold and Severus couldn't imagine anyone dropping a baby in front of his rooms. For heaven's sake! He took the bundle and wrapped it tightly around the child, then he brought it inside, near the fire to warm it up.
"Who in their right mind...?", he cursed and sat down on the rug in front of the fire. He lay the child in his lap and unwrapped it. While doing so he realized it was a Gryffindor uniform he was unwrapping and he transfigure it into diapers and black pajamas for the child. After fixing the diaper on the crying baby, he wrapped the little boy into the pajamas and a blanket he had transfigured as well. He was glad the Hogwart uniform consisted of so many layers he could use for these transfigurations. When the baby wouldn't stop wailing, he pressed him against his chest and started rocking.
"Shh, everything is fine, everything will be fine. Quiet now.", the rocking and rubbing of the child's back seemed to soothe him and after a few hiccups, he stopped crying "Now, pretty boy, what's your name and where did you come from?"
He lay the child back onto his lap and looked at him closely. The child was a toddler, maybe a year old. He had black locks and green eyes. His breath caught. They were not just any green eyes, they were those green eyes. But looking at the baby, he realized something else. The child looked exactly like a baby picture he had of himself, where he was lying in his mother's arms.
Could it be? "Harry?", the child smiled at the name and nodded. He nodded. "I am going to faint."
Harry pouted at that.
"How did you manage to shrink yourself, stupid boy?", he whispered shocked "And to end up in front of my door!"
The pout grew more pronounced and the child shook his head. He didn't know.
"Well there's nothing for it. We will wait until tomorrow for the effects to revise themselves. If they don't we'll find Madam Pomfrey."
The boy nodded again.
"Well I'm glad you approve!", Snape snarled and narrowed his eyes. Potter obviously still remembered that he was eleven and not one, so no need to hold his snark back! This was the worst possible timing. After that creepy encounted with Lily... "Try to hold any accidents at bay, I do not wish to change your diapers."
When Harry crinkled his little nose – so alike Lily's! – he found himself admitting "You are quite cute."
Harry blinked surprised and Snape began reddening. He cleared his throat and stood up, laying the child carefully on his couch "I will be back in a moment."
But the moment he turned his back and began walking away, Harry started wailing again.
"What? What is it?", he asked, returning to the sofa and looking at the small child, who looked up at him with large, tear filled eyes. He seemed to have the same fears and worries a child of one year would have. Seperation anxiety, Snape realized and groaned. He sat back down and took the toddler onto his lap, who immediately snuggled closer. Snape raised an eyebrow and saw the child's cheeks reddening.
"Its quite alright, Potter. I know you must feel... insecure."
"Hawwy.", the child said and Snape frowned at him, was that a creative swear word? "Du Dada! Me Hawwy."
Snape's frown deepened, he had understood that he was to call the child 'Harry', but...
"Did you just call me 'Dada'?", he asked incredulously, Harry shrugged in response and then scrunched up his nose for the next word.
"pfessssur shape?"
"I guess you were trying to convey that it is easier for you to say 'Dada' than 'Professor Snape'?"
Harry smiled at him as if he was congratulating him on a fine discovery, which had Snape rolling his eyes at him.
"Are you hungry?" The child shook his head "Sleepy?"
In response he laid his big, soft head onto Snape's shoulder and snuggled closer until he had found a comfortable spot to sleep on.
"Wait a moment! No one said you could sleep on me!", the child had already closed his eyes and given a contented sigh "Potter!"
Harry didn't care, the man could growl and snarl as much as he wanted. He was warm and soft and comfortable. And even though he was trying to tell him to get off him, he was also wrapping his arms securely around him. Oh, to hell with all of it! He would just stay here in this comfortable embrace and sleep a bit.
"Unbelievable!", Snape snapped at the small figure in his arms, then huffed and just leaned back, trying to get comfortable himself "Insufferable brat!"
As soon as the toddler's breath had deepened and his weight had settled completely on Snape, his mind drifted back to the... apparition of Lily. He is yours. He looked down onto the soft black curls, which were not in disorder at all. He frowned and slowly raised his hand to brush off some of the soft black baby hair off his neck.
There was the proof, the little magical birth mark that every child of the Prince Blood had on them. He gasped at the sight of the small zigzag shape that faintly resembled a crown. He hid his beneath his long hair and Harry's hair was also long enough to hide the mark from anyone who was not especially looking for it. This child was his. But how was this possible? The child in question gave another contented sigh and licked his lips in his sleep. Snape stared open mouthed at the baby. His child. His son. Not Potter's. His! He tightened his grip around him. Merlin's beard!
The realization was staggering, his breath was quickening. He had a child, a child with Lily Potter. A child who was eleven fucking years old! A child whom he had been harrassing for a couple of months. Oh my god. Karma did come back to bite you in the arse, didn't it?
He looked back down on the peaceful, sleeping child. He doubted Harry would be this peaceful if he ever learned who his Daddy was... Slowly he reached up and cupped his head in his hand. It was so small! His whole hand, with his long fingers, encompassed the whole round back of his head. Severus stroked his son's hair gently and felt a tingle go through his belly. His child.
But how did that happen? He tried to think of a way, any way, that he could have fathered Lily's child. He did not remember. After their graduation he had scarcely ever seen her. The spy was always kept apart from the rest of the Order and Lily had gone into hiding after she got pregnant with Harry. So it must have been before she went into hiding, after she married Potter. But that was downright impossible! She had loved Potter, as much as he hated to admit it. She was not the kind to cheat on him. And especially not to hide the child from him if she had done something like that. She had changed Harry's appearance to match James' – was she hiding his parentage from James or the rest of the world? Was he in on it? But what would he take out from this? It was all very confusing.
He tried to think back on that time, the information he had gotten about her and her husband during his spying days. They had been happily married, working and fighting for the Order. They had fought and defied the Dark Lord three times as the prophecy stated and... wait! The prophecy! If Harry was his child, then the prophecy didn't hold up any longer. But Harry was marked by evil. He looked down on the scar free forehead of his child. He had been shrunk to an age where he hadn't been marked by Voldemort yet. Severus sighed in frustration.
He needed to talk to Dumbledore and soon! This whole thing was giving him a headache. He closed his eyes to relax his mind and slowly drifted off to sleep with the warm comforting weight of his son upon him.
Something was shifting restlessly. No, not something... someone! He realized it just a minute before a shriek echoed through his quarters and startled, he slid off his sofa and landed on his floor.
"Professor?!"
"Damn it!", Snape swore, rubbing his back and sitting up "What the devil is wrong with you?"
He regarded Harry on the sofa, looking flustered but back in his school uniform. His transformation must have given away while he slept and Harry Potter grew back into his normal eleven year old height into them.
"Oh!", Harry said, going red and obviously remembering what had happened yesterday, that ended with him sleeping snuggled to his Potions Professor's chest, the man's arms wrapped tightly, almost possesively, around him. He didn't want to examine how that had made him feel. "I'm so sorry, professor. I just woke up and then... sorry."
Snape had in the meantime picked himself up from the floor and regarded Harry with a stern expression "Very well, how did you find yourself in your... precarious situation yesterday?"
Harry scrunched up his nose again, which inexplicably drew a soft look from Snape "The last thing I remember is eating a pink bubbly drink that Lee Jordan gave me."
Snape groaned loudly "The Weasley twins! They will pay dearly for this."
Harry blinked and sat up straight "Please don't punish them, it was only a joke."
"How did you end up at my door step?"
"I remember thinking it must be a potion, when I began to shrink and ran as fast as I could to the dungeons. I thought you'd be the fastest solution if it was."
"The next time you find yourself in a potentially life threatening situation, please visit the infirmary instead. I am no licensed Medi-wizard."
Harry nodded embarassed and stood up to leave. Snape summoned his cloak to him, which was still laying in front of the grate and lightly put it on his shoulders. While he did that, his fingers seemed to accidently brush a few strands of hair away from his neck. The birth mark was gone. Harry thanked him quietly, before slipping out.
It was time, Snape thought, watching his son leave, to have a chat with the all knowing headmaster.
"Albus, I wanted to ask you, when you would have deemed it the appropriate time to inform me of the fact, that I fathered a son?"
The door quietly clicked shut behind him and he strode forward to a surprised looking Dumbledore.
"How did you realize it?"
"I found myself with a bundle last night. That bundle contained my one year old son. I recognized him from a birth mark that mysteriously vanished, when he grew back to his eleven year old self.", he seated himself "The full story, Dumbledore, if you please."
Dumbledore sighed and then said "It was all for the best, Severus, forgive us."
Snape merely raised an eyebrow and Dumbledore began his story.
"Before Sybil Trelawney made her prophecy, an unfullfilled prophecy of Cassandra Trelawney was discovered. That prophecy stated that the next Dark Wizard would only be defeated by a child of light and dark. A slave and a soldier would provide this child and then that child would be marked by an attack from the Wizard and that child would hold a terrible and beautiful power. He would be the only one able to defeat the Dark Lord. We could not find any couple this prophecy could possibly relate to, as you may imagine. Lily had never forgotten you and always believed in your goodness. I persuaded her to meet you and see where that would lead us."
"What exactly are you insinuating?", Snape growled, not believing for a second Lily would have tricked him into providing this supposed saviour.
"Nothing. Lily did not know of that prophecy, I simply asked her to see if you would want to join our side. You accepted her offer after talking late into the night. She was so happy and relived to have you back and you were equally exhilirated to have a way out of the Death Eater circle that... Well, one thing led to another and she became pregnant with your child. When she realized this, she begged me to help her and I told her of the prophecy. She confided in James, who came up with the plan to cover Harry as his son and hide him thus from anyone evil, who could learn of that prophecy.
But there was still you, wasn't there? We could not risk you realizing that Harry was your son, we were not yet sure if we could trust you. And other than that you spent most of your time at Voldemorts side, a little slip up and you would die. Against Lily's wishes we decided to alter your memories. You went back to believing that you were a desperate Death Eater and overheard the prophecy made by Sybill. You know the rest."
"And why, pray tell, did you not tell me afterwards? At any time during the last 10 years?", Snape snapped angrily.
"Well, you must say that you were not exactly father material, Severus.", Dumbledore said lightly and earned a growl for it "Petunia had the blood wards, that could only be given by a blood relative of Lily's and Harry's. You were not safe enough."
Snape stood up abruptly "I do not care what you say. That boy is coming with me."
"Severus... his safety, your spying."
"If you force me I will resign.", Snape said coolly "I can take my son. Yes, Dumbledore, my only child! I will take him and leave if I must, but I will not live this farce any longer."
"Why Severus, I would have never thought you would be this... paternal."
"You thought wrong, then."
With that Snape turned around and stormed out of the room. He ran down the stairs and thankfully spotted the messy mop of hair in the entrance hall. He barked "Mr. Potter! Follow me!"
Harry jerked his head to him and Weasley murmured "What have you supposedly done now?"
"He is not wearing his name tag, Mr. Weasley.", Snape countered with his famous bat hearing "10 points from Gryffindor for disrespect and another 10 if Mr. Potter doesn't move along now."
Harry quickly left his friend's side to join the descent to the Potions Master's office. Once they entered and closed the door, Snape turned to him and stared. And stared some more.
"Professor?", Harry asked tentatively and Snape snapped out of it.
"Take a seat, Mr. Potter, here's your name tag.", Harry pocketed it, he must have forgotten it in the morning "While you stayed with me yesterday... I made a discovery."
Harry cocked his head curiously and Snape gulped. He still looked so small, so innocent.
"We are related.", he started carefully and Harry raised his eyebrows in surprise.
"How?"
Snape willfully misunderstood the question and answered "You have a birth mark on your neck, I saw it when..."
"You brushed my hair away.", Harry said confidently and then blinked and frowned "Did you?"
"Yes."
Harry blushed and looked away. Oh dear god, what was this all about? He ignored it.
"Well... the fact is... I knew your mother."
Harry frowned at him. Damn it! He wasn't making any progress.
"I mean to say... I am... I, well...", he took a deep breath and then rushed "I am your father, biologically speaking that is."
Harry stared at him and then asked "Can you be someone's father in any other way?"
It was possibly the dumbest, brightest and most misplaced, cheeky question he had ever received and he rolled his eyes at it. It did break the ice though.
"James Potter adopted you, he was your father as well."
"How come...?", Harry started asking, then blushed and stopped. Severus knew the question.
"Your mother and I... had a meeting during which we had revelations that made us very... happy. We had been friends a long time and we... created you."
Harry had blushed so hard by now, he looked close to choking.
"I will be honest with you. It was not planned or correct. She cheated on James. But...", he stared at the boy with his green eyes and his snub nose, that he could crinkle up so beautifully. "I want you. If I had known earlier, I would have taken you then."
"How come you didn't know?"
"Someone took my memory. When I realized yesterday that you had that mark, I asked them and they told me the truth."
Harry looked down on the desk, comtemplating this. "Why do I look like James so much then?"
"They, the conspirator and your mother, arranged it."
"Can you take it away? I want to see my real face."
Snape gave him a thin smile at that. He too wanted to see his son's real face "I can but I will not be able to put it back together."
"That's ok. Harry Potter died today. I don't want to go back to that life.", Harry said with certainty and maturity that surprised Severus. He nodded earnestly and dismantled all the glamours on him. Slowly the hair lost its pitch black color and faded a little to dark brown. The boy's eyebrows arched but his eyes held their beautifull color. The nose too stayed his mother's cute snub, but his cheeks, his jaw and chin transformed into slightly harsher lines. His ears shrunk a bit and his hair arranged itself neatly. The boy grew a few centimeters but the rest of his body, covered by clothes, didn't give any indication of change. Severus and James had both been skinny. The boy blinked a few times, then took off his glasses and squinted.
"Everything alright?", his newly found father asked, as he began looking around in wonder.
"I can see clearly!", Harry exclaimed and set his eyes back on Severus, who conjured up a mirror.
"Then look here.", Harry took it and curiously examined his new features "Might I introduce, my son Henry James Severus Snape."
Harry looked up "I get to keep my name?"
"Do you wish for another?"
Harry shook his head, what he was going through was quite enough change. When he had looked his fill on his face, Harry gave back the mirror. "What now?"
Snape struggled a moment and then asked "If you don't mind I would like to... hold you."
Harry blinked confused at this. No one had ever made that request of him. He shrugged and moved forwards, naturally hugging Snape. He felt the sharp intake of breath as well as he heard it. Then strong arms wrapped around him and held him tightly. The hand on his shoulder moved upwards, getting lost in his tangle of hair. "Henry. Henry Snape. My son."
Harry closed his eyes, pressing his ear against the thumping heart under the chest he was pressed against.
"I have a son now."
The fingers kept lazily stroking Harry's hair and Harry began feeling drowsy. It was quite comfortable here... Like home.
Years later
"Dad!", Harry came rushing in to the living room, clad in his Quidditch training gear, his hair messed up handsomely and green eyes sparkling. Severus would never understand how he could have a beautifull child. That must be all Lily in him... "I just did the Double Taker, it worked!"
Snape frowned at him, it was still hard getting used to his Gryffindor son's dangerous antics "I see you survived."
Harry grinned and flopped down beside him on the sofa, earning an annoyed groan by his father, who swished his wand to clean the mud off it "When will you ever learn...?"
He stopped dead as his son hugged him tightly out of nowhere. He held him a moment and then said "What's wrong?"
"Nothing.", Harry answered, letting go and jumping up "I just realized. I love you, Dad."
With that he sprinted out again, calling for the Weasley boy to continue their game. Severus sat there, stunned by this admition. They had been living together for a while now, every summer since they realized, Harry was his son. He had started calling him "Dad" more out of neccessity than anything else. It seemed silly to be called "Professor" and "sir" all the time at home. And Severus was rock solid sure that he held affection for the child, one might even call it love. But that he would reciprocate those feelings was... unreal.
He stood up and went to the window to see Weasley laughing doubled over at his son, who was sitting in a puddle of mud with a very snape-ish expression. Harry then grinned and threw a handfull of mud straight at his friend's face, who gave a loud "Oi!" and then tackled the laughing boy. They wrestled playfully in the mud, earning a shaking of Snape's head until they let go of each other breathing hard and grinning. Snape stared at his son, covered in mud, grinning contently into the sky. I love you, Dad. How was that even possible, he asked himself. How could this vivacious, friendly, warm-hearted boy love him? Him of all people?
He scarcely regarded Molly, who walked passed him with a short greeting, before descending on her son to scold him. She then took the redhead away, who waved cheerfully at Harry, not concerned at all with the mud footprints he left behind. Snape heard them floo away and he stepped out into the backyard. He came up to Harry, who was smiling softly and had his eyes closed.
"You will catch cold, come up.", Snape said, extending his hand, Harry took it and let himself be pulled up and led into the kitchen. Snape, quite unusually, took a wet flannel and started wiping off his son's face. A Scourgify could have done the job, but he wanted to take his time, kneeling in front of the boy.
"You OK, Dad?", Harry asked, concern showing on his face.
"Quite alright, lad.", Snape said, wiping away carefully. When his hands and face where cleared up, he sent him up to change and take a bath. "Tell me when you're ready for bed."
Harry nodded and raced up, leaving similar prints as his friend. A while after, he called for his father and Snape entered the room with Harry already settled into bed. Snape sat down, facing him and picked up the picture of James and Lily the boy had, right beside a picture of him and Severus at their first Christmas. He examined the young, happy couple and then picked up the picture of the awkward father and son. There was quite literally distance between the two of them. They were both looking relaxed and Harry was smiling a little, showing his first present from his father. Snape put both pictures back to their place and asked "Why did you not put in a recent picture?"
Harry looked at it and smiled "I like this one."
Snape glanced at him and back at it "Will you tell me why?"
Harry shrugged and then said "Because of the present I guess."
"It was nothing special."
"It was from you. The first thing you got me.", Harry said, shrugging again and then looked around his room with a fond, happy smile. Severus put a hand on his knee to get his attention back to himself.
"I know you asked me to and until now I respected your wish... But please, tell me about the Dursleys."
Harry looked up at him, sadness filling his eyes and asked "Do I have to?"
"No.", Severus allowed "But I wish to know how much I failed you."
"You didn't.", Harry whispered "They did."
Snape nodded and looked expectant, Harry shrugged.
"They just didn't like me, I guess. Its no big deal. I was like... I guess like a house elf to them... No, no, exactly like a house elf. I lived in the cupboard, I cleaned for them, cooked for them and they treated me like filth they had found at the buttom of their shoes."
Snape stared at him "Did they hit you or...?"
Harry shook his head "Shoved me, Dudley liked to hit me but not Aunt Petunia or Vernon."
Snape nodded, hatred for those people filling his gut. "I wish I could... put it right."
"You can't.", Harry said firmly and looked up at him with those unnaturally aged eyes "You can only make the future better and you have been doing that already."
Snape nodded and then gulped. Out on a whim he took Harry by his arms and pulling him to his chest. He gruffly said "You are a good boy."
Harry gave a short laugh but settled into the embrace and closed his eyes. Snape looked down on the peacefull child and felt a thud on his heart. Lily had never again shown her presence and he yearned for her to return. But not for him. For Harry. He felt ashamed now that he had been jealous of Harry. He settled his hand on the boy's head. The words flowed easily, more so than he would have ever expected them to "I love you too, Harry."
Harry smiled. He was home.
So this is my entry for the halloween fic fest at potionsandsnitchesDOTcom! Really hope you guys liked it, its just a little short and sweet oneshot :)
I really wanted to have Harry as an eleven year old because I haven't done that yet :P
Did you like it? Then I recommend reading my other stories as well *shameless promotion* ;)
I also wrote a book and would be delighted if you went and took a look at it, you can find it on Amazon:
The birds and the bees - Halal Edition