Headmistress Dolores Umbridge was a right cunt.

Dust snowed violently on the passerby students as Flitch; the squib janitor, hammered into the corridor wall. He proceeded to hang a thick frame hosting the latest decree from the High Bitch of Hogwarts.

The masses of cunning Ravenclaws, brave Gryffindors, proud Slytherins and oblivious Hufflepuffs didn't waste a glance at the freshly inked parchment. Everyone knew the new decree was going to be just as ridiculous as the last twenty five Umbridge had hastily delivered since the fateful day she was appointed to Hogwarts by the Ministry.

Nothing slipped by that woman, it seemed as though she was writing down on a whim whatever was annoying her right that second. If a student so much as flicked a Bernie Bots Every Flavor Bean in her general direction, all sweets from Hogsmeade and care packages would be confiscated. The whole school attempted to tip-toe around on their best behavior, but the stress of it was causing cracks.

As the between-class rush of students bustled around him, Harry Potter massaged the aching scrawl on his hand where Umbridge inflicted his detention punishments. Harry knew he was blocking traffic, he knew he should be rushing off to Divination, he knew Peeves would be around soon for his daily toilet-water-balloon tossing… yet he couldn't help but to stop and scoff at the latest 'dipshit' decree. Umbridge must be running out of things to outlaw.

In large offensive type, the parchment boasted:

"Boys & girls are not permitted to be within 8 inches of each other."

Hearing a nearby sob, Harry turned to see a frail third-year girl looking at the same decree, tears welling up in her eyes as she clutched a much larger Ravenclaw boy. No sooner did the girl bury her splotchy face into his embrace when she was forcibly sent sprawling across the hall by some unspoken spell cast by the power-walking pink menace herself.

"Hem-hem!"

The sticky sweet cough wasn't fooling anyone, least of all Harry. Umbridge was out to see what reaction her latest decree would get so she could suck in the satisfaction.

"Well, what do we think Mr. Potter?" She squinted daringly at Harry with her piggy eyes, waiting eagerly for him to misspeak so she could dish out more detention. Harry did not feel like reopening his flesh when it had yet to heal from his last session with the torture toad, so he slowly chose his words with care.

"Very… creative." He lied, despite the new creed Dolores had him live by as dictated on the back of his hand. The pink eyesore of a woman drew up proud and tall (as tall as she could get anyway) and chuckled;

"Yes, well, i had some inspiration! I heard through a little birdie in the owlery that a certain little someone-who-lived has the admiration of a little certain Ravenclaw seeker! I figured, if i nip this in the bud i might as well make it fair and impart the rule on everyone! Got to keep things about the school work around here, not silly little crushes!"

"If thats the case then i'd have a talk with Filtch if i were you" Harry spat, unable to hold another scathing thought back. He hurried away before the flushed menace could grasp what he just insinuated, just in time as the squib in question came skipping loyally up to the headmistress, drooling like a lovesick house elf.

'This is getting out of hand!' Harry thought, fuming as he pressed through the halls,

'This woman has to be taken care of, why isn't anyone doing anything!?'

Harry's imagination went wild with all the creative torture he could think of for a woman that foul, becoming so engrossed in the fantasy, he hadn't paid attention to where his feet were carrying him. A familiar chill in the corridors stirred Harry, stopping him dead in his tracks out of confusion. Harry had accidentally turned to the dungeons instead of the forrest-impersonating classroom where Firenze had probably started teaching Divination long ago. He hadn't even noticed the halls had thinned of students, now comfortably on time in their classes.

'Shit!' Harry's stomach churned. 'I hope Umbridge isn't going to be hawking over class today…'

Ruffling his untidy dark hair, Potter sank into a nearby alcove in defeat. Nothing to do now but wait for the next class. Questioning why he unconsciously chose to walk to the dungeons of all places, Harry jumped as he heard the smart slap of shoes on the flagstone.

'Oh gods!' He fretted, 'Umbridge already knows I'm not in class!'

Harry promptly unfurled his invisibility cloak he had tightly folded in the front of his pack. He had put it there just a few weeks before as a precautionary measure after constantly running into Umbridge an uncanny amount of times. Once properly tucked under the velvety folds, Harry tried to quiet his breath as a familiar drawling voice bellowed out;

"It's ridiculous, honestly Blaise!" Draco Malfoy strutted to the dungeons, puffed up and clearly agitated, "How's a guy supposed to get a proper squeeze in with a decree like that!"

Harry snickered under his breath, surprised to hear one of the Inquisitorial Squad complaining openly behind the headmistress's back.

"Oh come off it Draco," Blaise, dark and dashing, towered over Malfoy.

"Only girl around here who wants a squeeze from you is Parkinson, and she made it very clear you didn't touch her with your ten foot pole the night of the Yule Ball."

"If that wasn't a compliment you hid in there i would put your lights out right here and now!" Draco threatened, though he stepped a little further away from his companion, obviously knowing he wouldn't get a punch in if he tried.

"She's just not what I'm looking for, i have very particular tastes."

"Oh i can guess who that taste is you want." Blaise's face squinted into the fuck-i-can't-believe-i-said-that-aloud expression and waited uncomfortably for Malfoy's reaction.

The Slytherin seeker's steps faltered before Blaise and turned slowly back to him, sleeking his white-blonde hair away from his grey eyes as they flickered menacingly.

"Would you like to elaborate Blaise?" Malfoy's voice was so thick with contempt even Harry gulped in fear before his wrath. Blaise had clearly hit a sore spot and knew something Harry suddenly really really wanted to know. The two Slytherins were dangerously close to being out of earshot, so Harry made the daring choice to uproot from his hidden alcove and cautiously sneak closer, deeper into the dungeons towards the enemy's common room.

"Uh, hey, i'm sorry i was just joking around." Blaise stammered, walking a little faster down the flame-lit corridor, attempting to leave the situation he roused up.

"No no, please Blaise, entertain me here, what little bedtime stories has Pansy been scrambling up about my love life, i want to know!"

Harry could have found better things to do with his time, but going to class late wasn't an option and homework wasn't half as tempting as this. Besides, Harry had always been curious of Draco and his motivations; ever since they first met in Madam Malkins robe shop in their first year, Harry had felt a strange draw to the villainous blonde. No one else seemed to care what this snake was up to as much as Harry, so he felt it was his duty to keep tabs on him.

Feeling validated in his choice to follow the green-clad students to their lair, Harry rushed along as to not miss entering their common room as they uttered the password; "Boomslang Skin." No sooner had Harry invisibly slipped in through the passageway when he was almost maimed by a sliver oil lamp chucked across the room. It shattered on the damp stone wall and flames licked dangerously as the oil spread. Harry had no time to worry about this, as a silver trinket box whistled past his ear and rebounded off the door.

"TELL ME YOU PRAT!" Draco huffed, a crystal inkwell was chosen as his new weapon, waiting in his white-knuckled grip to be tossed at the panicked 'friend' hiding behind a well-stuffed couch.

"What is going on?" The prissy pug face of Pansy Parkinson peered out from the girl's dormitory; she and a dark haired boy had cut class to attempt to break Umbridge's new 8-inches-apart decree, but it was obviously a failed attempt due to her face sporting a fresh cut from being magically forced apart.

"What are you saying about me Pansy?" Draco hissed, rounding back on her, allowing Blaise to escape up to the boy's rooms.

"W-whaaaat me? No-o i didn't-"

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?!"

"I say a lot of things, what specaif-"

"PANSY, i WILL hex your face more ugly than it already is!"

Exasperated, the girl whipped her dark hair out of her eyes (which she rolled). Pansy was clearly on the cusp of caving and Harry couldn't explain why he was getting so excited to find out what was making Malfoy this crazy. He felt a little disgusting with this guilty pleasure, but he was ready to hex the answer out of the girl himself before he'd wind up late to yet another class.

"I just saiiiid that you're lucky; you get a loophole in this new stupid decree of her highness's." Pansy was clearly still sore at Umbridge for making it hard for her to sleaze with this unnamed Slytherin boy between classes, whom had now smartly snuck off to the boy's dorms, away from the confrontation.

"What?" Draco subsided his anger for bafflement, he was looking very ruffled; blond hair no longer perfectly slicked but instead falling softly over his wide eyes, his crisp school shirt jutted half-hazardly out from his crumpled jumper. Even his usually perfectly placed Inquisitorial Squad badge had flown off his heaving chest at some point. The room stood in silence, waiting for elaboration.

"Oh my gawd, don't make me come out with it for you." Pansy whined, her eyes glistening with mischief. "You know… only GIRLS and BOYS need to stay apart."

Draco continued to stand amidst his rubble, agape.

"Becauuuuuuuse," The girl drawled, now clearly amused, "You want to be eight inches closer to booooooys."

Harry didn't know how to process this. First he was impressed. That was a huge loophole in Umbridge's decree to prevent hanky-panky, one he was sure not many people had thought of. Then he wondered how many students in Hogwarts felt sexually inclined that way. It had never been brought up before that there was likely a handful of students that did not conform to one sexuality. Though he supposed, why should it be brought to attention, its nobody's business who likes what with who.

But Harry never considered Draco's preferences before… he never thought about Draco's softer side much at all, he didn't think he had one. But it made sense, obviously Draco didn't hate everyone, just Harry, Weasley's and Mudbloods; so he must like, even like-LIKE someone in the school. Thinking of Draco lusting after someone, another boy at that, kissing and groping at a guy… brought an uncomfortable heat to Harry's gut as the image of lips clashing flashed in his mind. He quickly banished the thought as Draco's voice rang in his ear, realizing how dangerously close he was to the Slytherin.

"Wha- i… no. What?"

"Draco, baby," Pansy coxed, reaching out to him with a motherly intent,

"You told me about that dream remember? I know you were pretty drunk at the ball but come on, you know you were just dying to spill the beans."

"Wha…what." Draco looked pitiful as he withered in Pansy's grasp, sinking into the nearby armchair, "No i wouldn't have told you… your fat mouth…"

"Im going to ignore that." She snapped, but quickly she resumed her comforting coos, "Draco you dreamed about him. You told me how you can't stop obsessing… do you remember the dream? The one where you followed him into the quidditch showers? You were going to beat him up but instead you… beat him off?" She snickered, proud of herself.

Draco looked up in disgust. "NO. I never-"

"Or the one," She guffawed, "Where he kept you as a pet after you were turned into a rat and you saw him-"

"SHUT UP! i was a FERRET you moron!"

"Aha! You admit it!" Pansy was very proud of herself indeed, she leapt up and pounced around in glee, gushing about like a Lockhart fangirl.

"Oooh you have to get with him! Please Draco! it would be so hot knowing you're sucking that prat's face, it's destiny i tell you!"

Harry was still in shock over the news of Draco's sexuality. Combine that with having never seen Draco unravel before AND sneaking into the Slytherin's common room and that chalks up to a very big day. Potter was ready to leave the dorms to go blabber the news in Ron's confidence but he wasn't sure how he could open the door without the two Slytherins noticing. Very much so stuck, Harry edged closer to the door, still wary of the leftover flames consuming the dripping oil from the smashed lamp. Harry held his ear as close to the door as he dared, listening for the sound of an entering student so he could slip past.

"Draco baby, stop moping!" Pansy continued to chatter,

"The first step is admitting it to yourself and coming out of that broom closet you've been so deeply wedged in! You don't have to start with snogging him, you can have any guy in the school, shag a few others for practice!"

"I don't want others!" Draco snapped suddenly, snaring Harrys full attention once more. All three of them were shocked to hear such a testimony; could Draco actually be feeling something other than hate or pride? Capable of something bigger than himself, something real? Harry was shocked that Draco could have more emotional range than a teaspoon and was intrigued. This was a side of Draco he would never allow Harry to see. Something barley anyone would ever be privy to.

"Draco…" Pansy breathed with anticipation, "Are you in love with him?"

Malfoy sat there, hunched over in the leather chair, weighted by his thoughts. The air around him seem to stay still, holding the moment dear. Harry almost missed the tell-tale click of the common room door being unlocked from the other side as he waited for a name to be uttered. Frustrated with his only chance to escape, Harry prepared to slip past the unsuspecting Slytherin about to walk into the fray.

"I… god Pansy, whats wrong with me?" Draco brushed his blonde hair away from his face in his signature way.

A small barley-there first year pushed through the door and went unnoticed by Malfoy. Harry stepped unwilling outside the door but kept close as it closed and heard just before it shut;

"I'm in love with Potter."

Notes:

Decree from the High Shipper Mschmnged;

I know how much it sucks waiting for the hot smutty goods in a fan fiction, and this fiction of mine is brand new and not near when i want anything sluttastic to happen. i want to develop a feel and understanding tangled in closely with the world J.K.R. gave us. Because i am not a patient person and i do not expect you to be specially after seeing a 'M' rating, consult my fan fiction 'Thats My Shirt' for a instant smut-satisfaction short sex romp. please stay tuned for more development here, it will get steamy, but it must unfurl slowly as to tantalize the readers :)