Nami tossed in her bunk unable to sleep. He had done it again. That empty headed, oblivious, child like, unobservant, unthinking...wonderful...

Another day, another miniature war, another person trying to hurt his crew, but it was different in the same way it had been different in the past. Touch his hat, you were in trouble. Touch his crew, you were never getting away.

But something about Nami, you touch her, you're dead. The smile was gone. The laughter, the playing, the thrill of adventure, the desire to be pirate king. Gone. You tried to take his navigator, what did you think was going to happen?

This was what kept Nami awake so many nights. It just made no sense. Anyone else they ever met would call it love, what else would it be? Why did he change when it was her?

She knew enough of their stories. A man went back on his word and tried to kill Zoro, Luffy beat them all senseless. Pirates tried to attack Ussop's village, Luffy broke them. Other pirates tried to take over the restaurant that was Sanji's home, Luffy destroyed the strongest man in East Blue. Crocodile tried to destroy Vivi's nation, obliterated a Shichibukai. CP9 took Robin and tried to kill her, he declared war on the World.

Arlong lied to Nami and made her cry. She had never before or again seen such animosity. That was a rage she never wanted to see again.

But why her? When so many other lives were at stake in other fights, why was it that when she was at risk, Luffy turned into a real monster? The rest of the time when he wasn't at war with something, no one could believe he was even capable of those emotions. And that is exactly what confused her so much when people said it must be love. Look at him, just LOOK at him. Is that the face of someone who has women on his mind at all let alone a relationship, marriage, children, or anything else involved with it?

She sat up in bed, curled her knees to her chest, and pulled them close. No matter what happened, how much she thought about it, it didn't make sense. Everyone seemed to see them ending up together, the Pirate King and his chosen Queen. The crew even made jokes about a little black haired son named Ace and a red haired daughter named Bellemere. Everyone saw a happy end, but not one could explain how it would get there.

She thought of waking Robin to talk about it, but it would go the same as always before. No real answers and Robin just ending with "He loves you, everyone knows it. Just be patient and it will happen."

And there was no question to anyone about her loving him back, how could she not? Not only was he her ticket to the greatest wealth in the universe, and the best chance for her fulfilling her dream of mapping the entire world, but she wouldn't even be alive without him. So many things that could have ended it all for her, she was only saved by her pirate in rubber armor. She saw that deep side of him more often than anyone else on the crew, and she saw right through his motives whenever he went off to a fight. She saw the same end that everyone did and she wanted nothing else. But she felt no closer to having it than she did to owning all the world's wealth.

She got out of bed and walked out into the moonlight hoping some fresh air would do some good, or that some big storm would hit that she would have to focus on just to get these thoughts out of her head. But no such luck on the latter, just a calm sea and a steady breeze. Absentmindedly, she walked out onto the deck with no chosen destination, but wound up in the same place as she always did on nights like this. But unlike normal, there was someone seated on the figurehead- wrapped in bandages, with a telling straw hat on his head, staring out over the sea as he did every chance he got.

He didn't seem to notice her. She just stood a few feet behind him. She wanted so badly to walk up, put her hand on his shoulder, have him look up, smile softly, and pull her down to sit in his lap with his arms around her. But what was the use? He would just look up, smile big, and ask if she came out to play. He just didn't behave the way she wanted him to, but it wouldn't be love if she wanted to make him. She loved him for who he was, even if it frustrated her. She pulled her bathrobe tight around as a breeze changed direction, bringing the night chill close.

Luffy suddenly lay backwards and saw Nami standing there, and as expected, that giant grin came to his face. "What are you doing up Nami? Aren't you tired after that fight?"

"Oh, Luffy, I was...shouldn't you be in the infirmary? You got hurt really bad today."

"Yeah, but laying in there won't make me better any faster, so I might as well be where I'm happy."

She sat down on the deck a few feet from him and pulled her legs close again for warmth, the next island would likely be a Fall one by the night temperature. To her surprise, Luffy slid himself from his usual seat over close to her.

The fantasies started again. Him putting his arms around her and stroking her hair until she fell asleep in his lap. Looking over at that grin actually hurt. She didn't want that. She wanted a small smile and that look in his eyes that just said "I love you". She wanted it so badly and knew it wouldn't come, it made tears run down her cheeks.

"Oi, whats wrong? We saved you, we're all ok."

"You just wouldn't understand, Luffy. I want you to but I don't think you ever will."

She tried to get up but felt that rubbery arm snake around her waist and pull her back down, right into his lap. Her heart started pounding, but she still didn't get the look she was hoping for. This one was concern.

"Nami, whats wrong? I can't kick its ass if I don't know whats hurting you."

She paused a while. How could she say that he was hurting her by being who he was instead of who she wanted him to be? The idea of confronting him at all about her fantasies was making her nauseous. But with no one else around, no way to get out of his arms, and nothing else to say, she just let it go.

"Luffy do you love me?"

"Of course."

"I mean love me. Not as nakama, not as your navigator. The way a boy loves a girl but not like Sanji loves...any girl."

"I said of course." His big smile returned to his face.

Nami was just at a loss for words. She was prepared for probably anything else. A no, a yes and a kiss, a blank stare of confusion. But not the same look of happiness he gives meat.

"I mean like love, marriage, kids, your queen love."

"I just told you, of course. How do you not know that?"

"What do you mean? You never act like it?"

"What do you mean I don't act like it? I always want you to come play with me, I'm always there for you, I always do what I can to make you happy even if it makes you mad sometimes. When you wake up sick or hurt, who is there beside you? I let you touch my hat, I've even GIVEN you my hat to protect. I thought I was being obvious. Everyone talks like we should be together, and I think so too. I want you to be my Queen. And I want kids. I'll name one after Ace, and you can name one after your mom."

It never really occurred to her that when he was bothering her trying to get her to leave her maps to come play that he was trying to show he liked her. How he never stole from her plate. How he let her do all the shopping she wanted with the crew's money. Zoro might be first mate but he had given her almost complete control of the ship and the money. He was always trying to do something he thought would make her happy.

"I just, you never hold me or kiss me or anything else."

"You never want to come play or sit with me on my seat, so I thought you didn't love me." The big smile was gone, but he wasn't upset. This was the only serious but not upset face she had ever seen on him.

It also never occurred to her that maybe he had his own kind of fantasies about her, playing, laying in the grass laughing about nothing, sitting on the figurehead looking out over the horizon at their next adventure. She was denying his idea of being together because it was upsetting her that he wasn't showing HER idea of being together.

"I do, Luffy, I love you. I just was afraid you couldn't love me back. I thought your goofing off meant you didn't have feelings for me like that."

"What gave you that idea? How could I not love you? How else is any of this supposed to go? I love you, you love me, someone touches you I kick their ass, we live life happy together. What did you think was going to happen?"

He took off his hat and placed it on her head. All the time he had done it, she finally understood, this was his way of showing he cared. Sometimes the hat on her head was like one of those tiny kisses she wanted on her forehead. Other times it was like a deep kiss that said 'I love you, and now I'm going to go show you how much.' That hat meant more to him than her preconception of intimacy did to her. He just had his own way of showing his feelings that she mistook as being oblivious to the concept of love.

She shifted herself more comfortably into his lap, buried her face into his neck, and they sat there on the grassy deck in silence until they both fell to sleep.