Title: The Denial Twist
Rating: T (for now)
Summary: Gray knew what he had to do; he wasn't that dim-witted, moreover what he should do, but he…he couldn't just bring himself to do it. At the end of the day, it was better for the both of them if he just distanced himself, just left things as they were. Gruvia.

Ah, yes, I know - I am still writing the second chapter of Auxilium, don't want to get ahead of myself, right? I had this little ditty sitting gathering some cobwebs and finally decided I should post it. It'll be either a two or three-shot, depending on how I feel about the next chapter, and while it is rated 'T' right now, my intentions are most definitely to have it end in a lemon, because I'm a dirty sack of smut-loving trash. I wrote this story because I thought it was time people stopped ragging on poor Gray for not coming clean about his feelings towards Juvia - there needed to be some sort of inner-feud happening, so this was my way of making sense of it.

Disclaimer: Fairy Tail, its respected characters and its plot are all sole property of Hiro Mashima. Any resemblance to other pieces of literature or fiction, whether published online or on paper, is purely unintentional and merely coincidental. Any quotes or references used will be sourced either immediately or at the end of the chapter in the order that they appear.

"A lot of people get confused and they bruise real easy when it comes to love –
they start puttin' on their shoes and walking out and thinking,
'Boy, I think I've had enough.'"

The Denial Twist, The White Stripes.

Gray Fullbuster was absolute shit at expressing his emotions.

This wasn't anything new though, was it? Gray himself was well aware of his own character flaws; he didn't need to be reminded of them, especially by a nagging subconscious. Staring into the untouched mug of beer before him, the Ice Make Mage groaned audibly, grimacing as the noise echoed against Fairy Tail's hall. Thankfully for him, it was nearing the end of the calendar year. Winter hadn't exactly begun as of yet, but it was steadily approaching – you could tell simply by the chilled air that swam in every time someone barged through the guild's incessantly swinging door.

As all years previous to this one, everyone had wanted to make as much spending cash as possible before the holidays rolled around. It was only fair – vacations to visit family members, …presents to buy for said family members – Fairy Tail always got uncharacteristically quiet around this time as people began taking on more and more missions to line their pockets. In addition, requests seemed to die down around the holiday months – it was in a member's best interest to rack as many missions up as they could.

The young man groaned, slouching down until his chin rested the bar's polished lacquer top, arms crossed in front of him, mindful of the still-full beer mug. You see, the thing was, Gray had absolutely no issue when it came to expressing his opinion – especially his distaste – to anyone. Friend or enemy, he didn't discriminate. So, then, why was it that his real, raw emotions were so impossible to get across? Not only just verbally, but even in his mind attempting to reconcile…attempting to solidify the way he felt, caused such a degree of inner conflict and pain, that it was better to just squash any real emotions he harbored. Pretending they didn't exist proved easier than admitting how he actually felt – to himself or to anyone else around him.

When he was younger and had originally joined Fairy Tail, Erza herself had chastised Gray on multiple occasions, reminding the boy that if he didn't talk about his feelings nobody would know how to help him. Really. Erza. Of all people – it was comical to remember these moments in the present day, especially considering her reaction whenever someone even mentioned Jellal's name, let alone Crime Sorcière.

During Erza's seemingly endless chastising, little Levy would usually peep up from her corner, chirping out some psychological bullshit from one of the books she had been reading, suggesting that Gray's stripper tendencies were a side-affect stemming from a lack of self-awareness and emotional-connection. This was then, naturally, followed by Natsu cracking some sort of joke at Gray's expense, Lisanna flailing to cover Natsu's loud-ass mouth (and failing miserably), and finally, Mira slyly interjecting a backhanded comment to agitate Erza – all because Gray refused to acknowledge how sad he had really been about Ur's passing.

And you know what? Fuck it. Fuck 'em. So what if Gray didn't express himself the way others did? He had his Ice Make magic as a means to express himself, and that was good enough for him. He had friends. He had…he had people who appreciated him, despite the fact it was incredibly difficult

So, why was he feeling so agitated right now? Why was his own existence tormenting him on some grand, overly exaggerated scale?

"Gray! Why the long face tonight? Don't tell me you're missing your friends…" Mira's voice piped up from her usual spot as she wheeled a pulley full of inventory and kegs towards the shelves lining the Fairy Tail bar. Even Cana had left on a job, leaving just enough time for the Mirajane and Kinana to replenish their stock.

The bar maid did have a point, though – Natsu, Lucy, Erza, and Happy had all been out on missions for what seemed like eons (well really, their absence had barely breached a week). Funny enough, you would have assumed that Team 'Natsu' wouldn't have been complete without him, but this time around it was Natsu, Lucy, and Happy that had all taken one job request ('one male, one female only – PLEASE!') while Erza had opted to take on a solo mission – leaving Gray all alone.

Now, don't get him wrong – Gray Fullbuster wholeheartedly enjoyed his alone time. In fact, he reveled in it. He cherished it, especially as it came around so rarely that there wasn't any room for him to feel anyway other than elation towards it.

That was, until a certain damned water mage had been thrown haplessly into the mix.

There was always a catch, wasn't there? And it always had to be her. Mavis, don't mistake Gray's frustration with himself for hatred towards the poor girl – if anything, after they had returned from the Grand Magic Games, she had been nothing but pleasant (excluding the whole bread debacle, among a few other moments here and there). It was obvious that she would continue to fawn all over him, but in the past month or so Gray had…really begun to enjoy her presence.

Ugh.

"I guess you could say that," he huffed to Mira, eventually pulling himself up to take a swig, finally, of his beer.

"Awe," Mirajane gushed, putting away the last of the kegs, "I know you and Juvia had gotten close recently…its sort of sweet seeing you miss her like this."

AUGH! No – what really had the young man annoyed was that Juvia Lockser, that same damn water mage, had been plaguing his mind since she left approximately 32 hours ago with Gajeel, and it just wasn't fair. They had gotten closer recently, yes, this was true, and Gray wouldn't deny this – he had begun to actually anticipate Juvia's company in a strangely cathartic sort of way. Between their regular lunch dates (NOT romantic dates…just…friend dates…), hanging out together at the guild, going for their daily walks – not to mention the odd mission they would take every so often – Gray Fullbuster had found a new, strange appreciation for Juvia and their 'friendship'. Not only was she an excellent listener when she wasn't being such a…a Juvia, but the duo could easily sit, or walk, in comfortable silence with each other for what seemed like hours on end (though Gray knew that Juvia would steal casual – all right, not so casual – glances at him consistently throughout these times). While the girl was still prone to outbursts (one of these damn days she would quit calling Lucy her love rival, Gray was certain of it) those outbursts had eventually become sparser and sparser as the weeks crept on.

Oh, and their conversations.

As the weather began to cool down, the days becoming shorter and the nights waning longer, Gray found himself, on more than one occasion (read: every night) walking Juvia back to Fairy Hills, only to end up sitting with the water mage outside of the building, just talking.

That's it.

Talking.

Alone.

With Juvia of all people.

Caught between the solid earth and the empty night, they talked – well, Gray talked, Juvia listened, but sometimes she would pipe up, delivering a dose of thoughtful wisdom or a supportive quip that seemed to continually take Gray by surprise. He had been able to open up to her, to anyone for that matter, about so much for the first time in a long ass time, and she sat there with him, sharing what she felt she could. It had especially progressed in the past week or so without the rest of their friends hanging around, asserting their dominance in conversation or picking unnecessary fights – and now, Gray found he was actually missing the damn girl.

Mavis, and he had acted so callous when she told him she was leaving for that damn mission! Any normal, warm-blooded male mage would have sucked it up and given the damn girl a proper goodbye – hugged her at least, right? Wished her luck with maybe even…maybe even kissed her on the cheek? No. No cheek kissing. Never. Smiled at her, maybe, at the very least? Any guy with guts, any guy with a fuckin' brain, would have been a half-decent human being and confronted what he was feeling towards a girl and accepted that he would miss her while she was gone.

Nope. Gray just had a glorious tendency of fucking it all up, didn't he?

Juvia had left only after waiting for an eternity for Gray to say goodbye to her. True, it wasn't anything strenuous if the posting was anything to go by – nothing overtly dangerous, it was a Normal-classed mission despite the caste preference ('TWO MAGES, PREFERABLY S-CLASS, NEEDED TO HEAVILY GUARD FRAGILE INVENTORY EN ROUTE TO HARGEON MUSEUM') with the posting price of 400,000 Jewel – but it required an overnight stay, that much Gray could tell, and for some reason he just couldn't bring himself to do much more during their goodbye than a clap on the poor girl's back and an all-too casual,

"Well, good luck. Keep your guard up. See ya."

Before Juvia could react – or before Gray could even catch her reaction, really – he had spun around on his heel and sped-walked back to the guild, nearly sprinting through the doors, sweat pouring down his face with shaking fingers unbuttoning his coat.

Agh, fuck! Even remembering that now, even though it had been nearly two days, Gray still cradled his head in his palms, cringing painfully at the flashback.

'Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid!'

What if she got hurt? What if she got seriously injured, or even worse, what if she just never came back? What if Juvia never came back to Fairy Tail again, all because Gray's parting words to her were keep your guard up?! See ya?! Just who the fuck was he?!

How ironic too that there had been a moment in time where Gray might have secretly wished she didn't come back – only for a moment, mind you, and only because maybe Natsu would shut up about the damn bento box lunches.

No doubt about it, the skies had almost instantaneously become overcast Gray had said his goodbyes, the air heavy with the thick promise of rain.

It…it just wasn't that easy. Gray knew what he had to do; he wasn't that dim-witted, moreover what he should do, but he…he couldn't just bring himself to do it. At the end of the day, it was better for the both of them if he just distanced himself, just left things as they were. Just…did that whole 'friends' thing. Juvia's emotions, despite having been reeled in as of late, still had the tendency to overflow for Gray in a way he knew he could never reciprocate. Juvia, for all she was and all she had been, was in tune with her emotions – she was as tempestuous as the skies, as the ocean her body mirrored – and that was something Gray almost envied. He would never, could never, be the ocean.

"You know," Mira piped up once again, launching Gray out of his bubble of self-contempt, "it's really okay to miss people, Gray." The barmaid took her leave from behind the bar, busying herself with some dishes that had been soaking in the back.

Gray glanced around soaking in his surroundings and ensuring that nobody had noticed his multiple outbursts. Sure, Erza had taken it upon herself to confront him, but… Was it so painfully obvious to everyone else around him? Was it really such a big deal that he had left himself, and Juvia, in this limbo of 'will they, won't they'?

A roll of thunder echoed in the distance.

The downpour that followed shortly answered for him.

Notes: Loved it? Hated it? Disagree completely? Fervently nodded so hard whilst reading you got motion sickness? (my apologies if this actually did happen). Let me know! Constructive criticism is always welcome, while ideas and theories are always delicious to read and consider!