Disclaimer: I don't own YuYu Hakusho or The Familiar of Zero or The Legend of Zelda

The Walking Terminator of Hell

Chapter one

The

Fear

of

God?

"What a ride that was," Sarcastically quipped the founder of the prestigious Makai tournament and member of the most renown demon tribe in existence; Yusuke Urameshi.

Nonchalantly fanning his entire arm to the side Yusuke completely blew the cloud of debris smoke aroused by the former explosion to the side revealing his attire.

It struck him as odd to see so many oddly-dressed folk eyeing him with varying degrees of confusion and bewilderment. It was very peculiar, especially considering the fact his garments consisted of a simple long-sleeved green dress shirt over a short-sleeved white t shirt. For extra comfort and decency, the young man additionally wore a pair of beige slacks and green wooden sandals on his feet.

Although none of the aforementioned piece of gear on the young man's person was particularly prominent. That one light spot in the abyss of darkness that was his heart was saved for a medium-sized gun-shaped pendant wrapped around his neck.

His black gelled-back hair offered a supplementary touch to his style of delinquency.

"I'm in a bad mood now," Yusuke muttered to himself.

He was already increasingly annoyed with the world before he was rudely dragged here.

…Well, not so much as 'dragged' here – wherever 'here' was – more inappropriately lured here via underhanded means.

Just gazing around gave him the impression he had been brought over to Hogwarts, but the last time he checked he hadn't miraculously walked through a wall. In his case the wall had been substituted for a magical vortex distributing an alluring voice.

Closing his eyes to momentarily give his hearing a boost in adequacy, Yusuke calmly listened in to the various conversations, trying to single out the voice that lured him here with a tone that promised him enlightenment.

It didn't take long for him to frown in his failed endeavour.

'Um. Can barely understand a fucking word that's flying out of their traps,' Yusuke mused, feeling a little more troubled now, 'Their gibberish sounds like french to my knowledge, but if that was the case…' He would be on Planet Earth, but if he was on Planet Earth then the distinct energy-signatures of his beloved ones would be as plain as day to his senses.

Yusuke kept his cold expression on even when a short girl with luscious, glistening pink wavy hair stepped in front of him. By her eyes he could tell she was in dry debrief, a discovery which instantaneously made him suspiciously narrow his eyes at her.

The fact that her expression turned outright indignant in response to his accusatory-look made it clear she arrogantly expected him to be more passive.

When she opened her mouth, she ranted, that much was clear to the disinterested young man who was more interested in studying the expressions of the girl's fellow classmates, it seems, judging by their identical garments. When he saw that most 'wizards,' but not all were distinctly sniggering at the pink-haired wizard, he inwardly sighed.

At least he could understand their laughter.

"Shut up," Yusuke commanded, now thoroughly fed up with the girl's venomous shouting. Seeing the blank expression now adorning her features, Yusuke quickly deduced she couldn't understand him as much as he couldn't piece together her words. Lazily putting his finger to the blinking eyed girl's forehead, Yusuke slowly pushed his index finger outwards, forcing the girl several feet away from him.

"Kyaaa!" Well, at least her screaming was decipherable.

Shuffling his hands into his pockets, Yusuke watched the crowd of gathered wizards gaping like a band of deer caught in the headlights, as if he had committed some unspeakable crime.

"You jerk!" The pink-haired girl's insult was crystal clear to Yusuke. He had spent enough time in french-classes and just about every other class teaching students to speak in an entirely different language they wasn't familiar with to insult someone in just about three varying languages.

It was because of this was why his next course of action would be very simple. Internally singling out the word he was searching for, a mischievous grin crossed his visage.

"Bitch."

That one word, so venomous, but spoken in their native-tongue silenced the wizards in utter mute contemplation, trying to theorize how a supposed loyal servant of some sort could speak with not only such profanity, but also disrespect to his partner.

But since the floored girl appeared to be an object of ridicule the floodgates broke to allow a wave of cruel, mocking laughter to thunder across the clearing, eliciting a small, barely noticeable soft sympathetic sigh of leniency from a nigh-bald man.

"Louise the zero!"

"-Can't handle her familiar!"

"And he's just a peasant too."

"I'm surprised he wasn't an explosion with her trapped record."

"You know what they say, once a zero, always one."

Be able to instinctively discern bits and pieces of their language when it came to slander, Yusuke not only gained the oddly named girl's most known title but a sense of guilt as a sort of weird backlash to obtaining the knowledge.

'Stupid conscious,' Yusuke dryly reflected, watching Louise tentatively stand back up to her feet with an air of consternation hanging over her, her cheeks blazing with shiny red circles printed on them.

"I-It's not funny," Louise insisted with a stammer of equalled persistence and wariness.

"My, how fitting it is for the 'Zero' to summon a disobedient familiar," A busty dark-skinned woman with long rosy hair stretching past her lower back cheerfully tossed the dubbed Zero a cruel, snide remark.

Yusuke stared open-mouthed at the obvious distinguishable limps on the red-haired wizard's body, "Hot damn! What a pair of watermelons those are. Sure is enough to turn a guy's frown upside down alright," He said, instinctively speaking in his native tongue.

"Why… can't I understand you again?" Louise murmured cautiously, simply not willing to demand anything of the absurdly strong, rebellious young man until she had definite supremacy in some form over him.

She did, however, look on with dry annoyance at Yusuke's leering expression directed at her chief rival, 'Does he really have the nerve to orgy that hussy Kiriche after he so impudently knocked me, his master, down!? How dishonourable!'

It was just unfortunate for Louise that the sultry smile on Kiriche's countenance divulged her awareness of Yusuke's ogling of her. It was only natural. She had a myriad of experience when it came to seducing men to know when they were checking out her DD-cup breasts instead of her eyes.

"It would seem your familiar would much rather prefer me as opposed to you," Kiriche said with a wink at Yusuke, eliciting a flinch from Louise while the male populace of the wizards just smirked knowingly, "Isn't that so, dearie?"

"Stop flirting with my familiar, you slut!" Louise screeched commandingly.

"Oh. Why, I can't help it if darling happens to have tastes, right handsome?" Kiriche retorted lecherously, striking an above elbow raised sexual pose to go with her tone.

"Fuck knows," Yusuke said curtly, not caring if his french-vocabulary was minuscule or not. Louise and virtually all of the wizards with the exception of two looked outright disgusted at Yusuke's utterance of obscenity.

As Louise sharply jabbed her finger at Yusuke as if it was a ruler of unholy punishment, determined to reprimand the rude-man, she was immediately frozen in place by an icy-cold glare from Yusuke's malevolent orbs.

Her mouth went dry, her entire outstretched arm loosened considerably, and her knees buckled underneath her, 'W-What's going on?' Louise asked herself in a nigh-panic, shivering just at the utterly angry cold stare the devilish young man was sending her. In that instance it was like the whole world had not only completely disappeared but had also vanished off of the face of the now dark realm.

…It was just her, her, and those eyes, the eyes of a creature emitting godly malevolence.

It made Louise weak in the knees.

'He can't be a human,' Louise concluded on jelly legs, tentatively hugging herself with her arms, 'There's just no way!'

"Oh, dearie. You're so courageous speaking with such immorality," Kiriche gushed, earning herself a scowl of disgust from the newest object of her affections. The effects only put a slightly more lecherous, yet equally determined smirk on her red-painted lips, "Oh. Playing hard to get are we? I just love it when they play hard to get." She said slyly.

Yusuke snorted. Having not understood even half of what the lustful woman was yelling, he knew enough to know she was a typical fangirl. That or she was a straight-up slut. Oh well.

The attention of the aspiring wizards was drawn away from Louise's apprehensive gestures from Yusuke's mere glance and Kiriche's sexual advancement toward him by a gentle cough to their left.

Pivoting smoothly on his heels, Yusuke found the marginally strongest reiki-signature in this Hogwarts-esque dimension standing to his left in the form of a middle-aged, nearly bald man save for the brown hair that was clung to the back of his head like a half-torn headband. His garments easily made him stick out like a sore thumb, as he wore a long blue trench-coat with a long collar, had a long staff held in his left-clasp, a pair of black pants, black shoes on his feet and a business-bag slung over his shoulder.

"Finish the summoning ritual, Miss Valliere," He sternly commanded, his words too advanced for Yusuke to decipher with his minimum french-vocabulary.

"But Professor Colbert!" Louise cried out in a protesting manner, pleadingly balling her fists up in front of her obvious superior, "Allow me to attempt the Summoning Ritual one last time!" The pink-haired wizard eyes sparkled from the tears of desperation that had leaked just out of her eyes, "Please."

"I cannot allow that." Colbert said earnestly, having his answer all but delivered to the green-clad young man via Louise's crestfallen expression.

"Access denied," Yusuke said robotically, mimicking the noise a computer would make when they prohibit a growing young boy access to an adult-rated site.

Louise managed to send him a meek glance of reluctant anger from the corner of her eyes, before she turned back to Colbert with even more plea in her voice.

"But why?" Louise asked.

"The Summoning Ritual is sacred and effects the mage's entire life," Colbert explained, "Trying a second time would be a blasphemy for me against the ritual itself," He sent a somewhat wary glance over to the young man who hadn't even looked at him, "Whether you like it or not this man has been chosen as your familiar and nothing can change that."

"But Colbert he's,-" Louise squeaked, but quickly shut her mouth and hastily looked back to see Colbert giving her an understanding expression.

"Yes, I'm aware of the man's… issues, let's say," He said with a hint of optimistic awkwardness, but like a bad spell performed horribly wrong it was gone, leaving behind a strictly professional expression, "However, rules are rules. Finish the ritual."

Louise yelped at the insinuation of Colbert's order. Sparing a glance at the emotionless face that felt as if it was mere inches from hers, Louise nervously asked, "With him."

"Yes or I'll be forced to expel you." Colbert said with finality.

His warning caused a shiver of petrified acknowledgement to surge up Louise's spine.

Louise slumped her head downward, wishing she could dig a hole and die in it to get away from the loud obnoxious jeers of her fellow peeps. Swallowing a timid gulp down her throat, the pink-haired wizard straightened her brown wand.

"Okay, Louise. You can do this. He's just a human, a peasant at that," She quietly said, filling up her own arrogance as she reminded herself that she by definition was above some commoner.

…Even if he was super scary.

"Aw, what's wrong Louise? Handsome is your familiar," Kiriche taunted with a smirk, instantly triggering the irritation within Louise, "Don't tell me you're scared of giving handsome one little kiss? You are, aren't you? Aw, isn't that adorable? Well, if you're not ready for this stage of intimacy, I would be glad to do the deed for you. It's the least I could do for a fellow mage-in-training. Honestly, it can be considered a delicate procedure. Not something an inexperienced 'zero' can handle."

The last word uttered from Kiriche's mean-spirited speech was the cue on for the laughter and snide comments.

"Yeah! Live up to your expectation zero!"

"You always do!"

"Maybe she's afraid she'll blow him up like she does to her inadequate attempts at spells!"

"Why you-?" Louise shook furiously, lowering her head so the bangs of her glossy pink hair could shadow her eyes. When she rose her head up, a resolute fire could be seen blazing within their compass strongly, "I'll show you I can to do it!"

"Then what are you waiting for?"

"Do it!"

The other students eagerly nodded in agreement to the two nondescript students' challenge.

"Fine!" Louise huffed in contempt before she looked back at the young man who had his eyes closed. Though, as if sensing Louise's eyes on him, he opened them so intensely it made Louise shrink back barely indistinctly enough to be missed, "Why me?" She murmured despairingly.

Still with his hands in his pockets, Yusuke sauntered forward on a one-way destination to a petite pink-haired girl, "Till dunno what the hell's going on fully, but she's definitely the one who brought me here. There's no mistaking her voice even if I can barely understand her. As of right now, she's the only lead I got of returning back to Japan, pronto."

"Oh great. He's making my life easier. What a wonderful familiar," Louise said sarcastically, her weakened knees making it extremely difficult for her to stand up. She naturally faltered slightly in her stance, causing a few snickers to ring out from her fellow students. She couldn't even muster a glare at them with her apprehensive glance caught in the ominous eyes of her would-be partner.

In what seemed like years to the petite-wizard, the man had closed the remaining distance between himself and her in a matter of seconds, eclipsing the sun.

'He's so damn tall! How am I even meant to reach him?!' Louise mused. If she wasn't in such a panicked state right now, she would have known how refreshing the artificially made shade the man inadvertently offered her with his massive built was.

"Your move." Yusuke kept his statement curt as he waited for Louise to start talking. She nodded tentatively, muttered a few choice words with a raised band starting with her name and slowly rose on her tiptoes, puckering out her lips and closing her eyes, 'She's coming on to me?' Yusuke concluded with incredulity, feeling the tiniest of clutches take a hold of his arm.

Being the well-known pervert that he was with a relationship all but ended anyway, Yusuke's next innocent endeavour was predictably easy to make for him. Roughly grabbing Louise's arm, Yusuke would accomplish his next three motions before the girl even had the time to gasp.

Firstly, he wrapped his arm around her rear.

Secondly, he effortlessly pulled her up so she was technically level with his height.

And most prominently, he smacked his lips against Louise's, feeling her gasp into the compass of his mouth. As if sensing its master's anger toward the girl, Yusuke's tongue surged into the entrance of Louise's mouth and easily overpowered her tongue, forcing the girl to moan.

The band of wizards was shocked into silence at how passionate the two were going at it. Even Colbert had literally nothing to say in this scenario.

"Well I, for one, didn't know the zero had it in her," Kiriche said slyly, a sneer forming on her lips, "I almost feel sorry for handsome having to kiss the zero… so," She paused to wrap her arms around herself, shivering lustfully, "-Exotically."

Eventually, the kiss did indeed end, but it wasn't on Louise's terms. Her supposed ally had easily dictated the mooch as if she was nothing more but his mere maid, a commoner one at that.

"You pervert!" Louise pouted with red tinted cheeks.

Surprise flashed across Yusuke' features, his hand still cupping the rear of an exceedingly embarrassed Louise, "Whoa, would you look at that. I can understand you like you're speaking in my native-tongue now," He oddly noticed a mildly sharp substance of some sort trying to penetrate his mind. This also had the unique effect of making his dominant right hand feel slightly warm, but he ignored that and simply absorbed whatever was trying to attack his mind, cooling his hand down in an instant.

"Huh? What are you talking about?" Louise asked blankly, trying to theorize why the impudent perverted man said he could only now understand her, "Are you trying to tell me you barely understood our language till now?"

"Yeah. Don't know much french to tell you the truth."

"It must be the runes that link our eternal bond granting you the ability to understand us," Louise theorized in an indoor tone of voice.

"Eh? What the fuck are you talking about baby girl?" Yusuke asked bluntly, his countenance mirroring his peculiar confusion.

"Must I explain everything to you?" Louise asked, the fondling of her ass making her hold onto the hem of her shirt. It was too cute watching the girl still attempt to hold an aura of class around her even when being groped in broad daylight. "And as my familiar, I expect you to behave with morality. In case you're too pigheaded to understand this, it means speaking formally, no profanity, and," She blushed, "-I prohibit you, as my familiar, to touch me ina-."

"No." Yusuke denied, causing the girl held in his strong grasp to moan with a waterfall of tears running from her eyes.

Fortunately for the embarrassed girl, Colbert decided to dismiss the class, though they didn't fly off on their familiars without first tossing a few jeering remarks at the girl who was obviously, in their eyes, the loser of the class. The jibes indicated nastily at Louise could basically be boiled down to one simple misinterpreted observation.

"Your familiar can't fly, haha!"

'Ain't they in for a surprise?' Yusuke mused sarcastically, watching the nigh-bald man walk up to him.

"Pardon me, but may I see the runes on your hand?" Colbert asked politely.

"What runes?" Bewilderment appeared on Yusuke's visage as he flipped up his dominant right hand.

Louise rolled her eyes in a distasteful manner, "The ones on your ha-. Oh." She said, changing her angry tone to one of confusion as she gazed at the virtually blank backhand of the young man. If it wasn't for the one shiny, golden vertical scar-like symbol engraved onto his hand, it would be as blank as a recently cleaned chalk-board. A deep seeded fear sunk inside of Louise, "Uh, What about your other hand?!"

"Hm." Colbert droned on in a contemplative manner, cupping his chin, "Now that's odd. Tell me, did you happen at some point after Miss Valliere finished the Ritual Contract feel an extreme burning sensation on your hand... Uh? I'm sorry, I'm afraid I don't know your name sir?"

"No. Why? Yusuke Urameshi," The man bluntly answered all two of Colbert's questions and asked one of his own.

"You-Kay, Youra-messy?" Louise said, utterly failing to repeat Yusuke's name.

Yusuke rolled his eyes at the girl's complete butchering of his name and turned the full-force of his glare on the wizard-teacher, making him shrink back indistinctly, "What's this about old man?"

"I-I'm n-not quite sure Mr Urameshi. I have a theory, but I'm afraid I'll have to undergo some research to confirm it. I would rather not make a thoughtless observation only to prove my incompetence," Colbert explained.

"Meh. It's no problemo. Just call-up the dimensional door that brought me here and I'll be out of your hair," Yusuke said with a toothy grin, eliciting a small yelp from the girl held in his grasp, "Easy peasy, right?"

"No, Mr Urameshi."

"No?"

"You have been summoned by Miss Valliere," Colbert said earnestly, "Once a familiar is summoned the summoning cannot be reversed. Doing so is not only unthinkable but also hazardous to the ritual. I'm sorry, but now that you are summoned you will be stu-."

"Okay, bitch. I'm gonna stop you right there." Yusuke dispassionately interrupted.

"Watch your mouth when you speak to your bet-." Louise tried to scold her partner, only to be mercilessly dropped onto the ground by the one who was supposed to protect her.

"You can just shut your fucking mouth," Yusuke said, striking Louise across her face with a backhand, sending her sprawling across the grassy ground of the clearing.

"Mr Urameshi, please refrain yourself," Colbert ordered, hastily trying to aim his massive staff-like wand at his student's out-of-control, berserk familiar. The overly huge wand wouldn't even get the chance to lock onto the rebel before he disappeared as if he had teleported, shocking the teacher to the core.

He didn't get a chance to process the situation before the back of his shin was kicked in, forcing his entire upper body to bend downward. An incredibly tight grip on his staff-like wand wielding wrist made him instinctively spread out his fingers, causing his staff-esque wand to fall to the grassy ground.

Colbert cried out in agony, feeling his right arm forcibly held above his head, "Mr U-Urameshi, I beg of you. I do not wish for conflict. I only wish for a peaceful solution."

"Then send me back to Japan already," Yusuke said impatiently.

"But I ca-."

Yusuke found himself rolling his eyes for what seemed like the nineteenth time that day, "Spare me the repeated fuckery, bitch." He quipped coldly, "Instead answer me this, motherfucker, what in the hell did you actually expect from me?" Yusuke demanded, "By that I mean as her 'familiar'," He pointed sharply to the downed form of Louise.

"W-Well," Colbert gathered all the moist in his dry throat. "I'll admit your case is highly unusual."

"Meaning?"

"It's a rarity for a human to be summoned as a familiar," Colbert explained, praying his patient and polite approach would make the disgustingly powerful warrior be a lot less forceful on his arm, "But now that you have you will not only be expected to act as your master's guardian, but also as her personal attendant tending to her everyday's needs."

This was all sounding disgustingly familiar to Yusuke's knowledge. One more wrongly answered question would prove his insinuation right.

"Do I get a paycheck?"

"..."

Fear would've weighed down Colbert itself if the wizard-coach was sure Yusuke wouldn't.

"-Well."

"So that's a no," Yusuke finished for him with finality, the silence from Colbert giving him his answer, "So, you expected me to be her slave then." A particularly devilish smile found its way to his visage.

"Um. No, Mr Urameshi I regret to inform you that you have misinterpreted my explain-."

"Shut up," Yusuke curtly commanded. With what could be considered a neighbourly pat on the back Yusuke flattened the elderly wizard with a enough force to rupture the ground, making the man cry out in pain. Feeling absolutely no remorse for his kidnapper, Yusuke ruthlessly pinned the struggling old man with the sole of his foot, forcing him to cough blood out of his mouth.

"Listen up, old man 'cuz this is how it's gonna go down. You're gonna get me the fuck out of this Hogwarts rip off joint pronto, or else you're dead," He chuckled scornfully, "Think of this as a game; you refuse to comply with my command, you die – You fail to accomplish your employed task you die – if you don't pay the extension-fee every month for the next twelve months, you die – and if you even dare to rally the troops to defy me… then." He gave off a deep belly chuckle.

"You don't even want to know. Let's just say I'll kill you faster. Comprende?"

Colbert whimpered as he felt utterly humiliated. It was as if he was a tiny feline creature on the bottom of the food chain being backed into the corner by the King of all feline-creatures. Scared? Sure. But that was an understatement. There wasn't even a word to describe the otherworldly amount of fear Colbert felt in his heart. He could barely breathe with the overbearing malevolence the devilishly rebellious young man was emitting.

It was terrifying.

"I-I only ask that you spare the students of Tristain Academy of Magic. They don't deserve such punishment from your hands, Mr Urameshi," Colbert pleaded.

"No promises," Yusuke said flatly, "If they fuck with me then I'll fuck with 'em. Comprende? Good. Get your ass to work. I want to see you working on a way to get me back home in the next ten minutes, if you fail to comply," He just snorted, crossing his arms with an aura of supremacy hanging over him while also pressing Colbert further into the ground, making him wince, "Think I've made my point clear enough."

"...Y-Yes, Mr Urameshi."