Disclaimer: I don't own the Legend of Zelda. If I did, I wouldn't be stranded at school for 10 hours. :P
"When the Shield Became the Sword" is rated "T" for mild language, violence, and romantic themes.

When the Shield Became the Sword
A Legend of Zelda Fanfiction

I don't know if there's a record for "most times rescued."

If there is, I'm the winner of that pleasant contest for sure.

Seriously, in the future, if they write stories about princesses needing rescuing, I'm probably the inspiration for that trope. In my twenty years of life, I have been kidnapped and subsequently rescued a whopping sixteen times.

I've told Daddy that he needs some new security—you would have thought a change of staff would be necessary after the fifth, or at least the tenth kidnapping—but he's so stupidly loyal to the buffoon he calls "Head of Security" that I'm the one that pays the price. Sixteen times!

My name is Zelda and I am the Crown Princess of Hyrule. I am beautiful, smart, and a born leader. Daddy, the King of Hyrule, is set to willingly abdicate the throne in favor of me when I turn twenty-five. He was supposed to step down at my twentieth birthday but changed his mind the night before the ceremony. Why, you ask? It wasn't because I wasn't ready to be ruler, no, I've been more than ready since the day I was born, but because he feared for Hyrule's stability since I was "unable to remain in Hyrule safely for a certain amount of time." Hello, the kidnappings are not my fault. I fight with my words, not swords. If he wanted me to be some sort of warrior princess, then he should have let me take fencing lessons when I was a kid instead of panicking at the sight of a mere firework and throwing me into the nearest closet for "safety."

That's how the kidnappers always find me. The Princess is always stored in the wine cellar in the East Building behind a very poorly designed false wall. Seriously, it doesn't take a genius mathematician to find me.

Being kidnapped is not a pleasant sensation. They love to bind my arms, gag me, and tease me mercilessly that I'm the easiest sorry girl to take and have their way with. They usually throw me in the highest room of the tallest tower, shackle my feet, and throw me a piece of stale bread. And they complained my hiding place was unoriginal. Speaking of which, I'm hungry.

"Her Highnesses' royal meal," as if on cue, a snarky voice chimed and before I knew it I had a very delectable piece of—you guessed it—stale bread. Hey, at least there wasn't any mold on it.

Now if only I could reach it with these stupid shackles…

…yes, you're reading this all right. I, Zelda, Crown Princess of Hyrule, was kidnapped yet again.

"C'mon," I grumbled under my breath, trying to position my body to slink over to the bread. You'd think with all the practice I had being bound and chained this would be easier. I closed my eyes and mentally tuned out my captor's morbidly gleeful chuckles, trying to pretend that I wasn't undignified and this really wasn't a big deal…

I felt a small tap on my forehead.

"Need a hand?"

My eyes widened instantly, no longer shut by fear. I knew that sweet voice, the wonderful melody that signaled my immediate rescue. Despite being kidnapped sixteen—sorry, now it's seventeen—times, I was never harmed and the longest I spent in danger was a whopping two hours.

Even though my security was absolute shit, my rescuer was the best in Hyrule. So good, as a matter of fact, that he was too vital to Hyrule's overall protection and couldn't serve as my personal guard because then Hyrule would need rescuing instead of me. Of course, there was another reason why he could never be my personal guard…

"Untie me," I ordered, flapping around like a fish out of the water as I tried to position myself so the shackles could be easily cut. After moving like some sort of demented Manhandla plant for what felt like an eternity and getting my favorite blue dress dirty, I finally managed to line up my bounds easily so he could cut them in one swift strike. I gave a huff, my once porcelain perfect face stained by dirt and hay.

"Untie you?" He asked, kneeling down to my level and giving a nonchalant shrug of his shoulders. "Why your dearest Majesty," he said, his voice no longer taking the gentle tone of a rescue aria and instead morphing very irritatingly into a similar tone to that of my abductor, "I'm afraid that's impossible since I don't have the key."

…which brings me to the aforementioned other reason the Hero of Hyrule could never be my personal guard.

He's an asshole.

I glared at him, my face turning hot pink from the embarrassment of my pitiful state. He knew exactly what I meant. I was certain the cretin who had my keys was dead, probably from a simple swift strike from Link's sword—that's right, I'll praise him all he wants about his sword skills as I mentioned there is no better rescuer in Hyrule than him when it comes to fighting, but I'll chop off all my hair before I praise his character—and Link most likely didn't bother to check the corpse for any keys. I blew up indignantly at my disheveled bangs.

"Would you please set me free?" I asked, my voice taking too much of a pleading tone for my liking. Unfortunately, groveling at this jerk's feet was usually the only way he'd rescue me. Y'know, I was beginning to believe that he was starting to take pleasure in seeing me like this.

Link brought down his sword suddenly, not even looking in my general direction and instead at his right fingernails. Wait…what!? What was he doing!? I screamed at the sight of the magnificent blade bearing down on me, fearing for the worst, that he finally snapped at was about to chop me in two…

…when I heard a strong snap and suddenly found myself able to move again.

I frowned. The little sucker could have warned me that he was going to free me. And I'd really appreciate it if he actually looked where he was swinging his weapon that was capable of severing my pretty little blonde head from my body clean in two.

"Would you watch where you swing that thing!?" I screamed at him, brushing the dirt off me and angrily scrubbing at a patch of mud that would leave a horrible stain. What a mess I was. My hair was no longer in my neat braid, my dress was stained and ripped with the right shoulder fabric lying loosely on my chest, and I was covered in dirt. This was the worst part of being rescued…I always ended up looking like a hot mess. At least I still had my treasured earrings, the beautiful Triforce pieces I always wore to honor my late mother…

I ran my fingers through my hair and reassuringly rubbed at my earlobes, expecting to be comforted by the dainty and delicate articles and instead being filled with horror as I realized one was missing.

"My earring," I whispered, frantically glancing around. I would tell Link, but I didn't really want to hear from him about how stupid girls are and how I shouldn't get attached to material things. He remained completely oblivious to my desperate state, still glancing at his badly bitten fingernails. As disgusting as it was, I threw myself down on the ground, crawling on all fours as I combed the room for any sight of my beloved earring.

"Zelda."

I wasn't in the mood to deal with him. I wanted to push him aside, to yell at him to shut up, stand there and guard me while I found my mother's earring, because there was no way I was leaving without it…

"Zelda." If I was paying attention, I would realize that a touch of anxiety had crawled into his voice, indicating that something was wrong, but I continued to flail around the floor in my distressed search…

"Zelda!" This time the panic was clear in his voice, even in my frazzled state. Even then, I refused to go to him, to be at his every beck and call, at least not until I found my precious memento, the only thing I had left of my beloved mother…

A loud bang, the sound of rocks pelting into the structure wall, echoed throughout the mangled building. No doubt another captor, one with more fire and manpower with bigger fish to fry, had heard of my capture and was attempting to steal me for themselves. They could wait, they could all just wait….

…at least, that's what I wanted to happen, but before I knew it I was grabbed forcefully from behind and flung over a very anxious Hero's shoulder. I screamed at him to stop, to take me back because it had to be there somewhere, yelling every insult known in the Hylian language—and even in the ancient Sheikah tongue—at him, but he continued to run away from my cell and away from my most beloved treasure.

"Put me down!" I screamed, slamming my fist as hard as I could where the chainmail didn't quite protect a very vital part of his shoulder. I heard him cry out, as even I had serious strength when I was determined, but he continued his dash, never looking back as I could only stare as the last connection I had to my mother went up in flames.

I screamed, a poignant call that echoed throughout all of Hyrule.

My seventeenth abduction would forever go down as the worst.

I didn't know where Link brought me, but it was some sort of cave. I was still completely and utterly heartbroken over my lost treasure. It may seem silly to many that I would risk my life over a trinket but it was the only thing I had that connected me to her, my gentle mother that always sang me a sweet and soft lullaby. I vaguely noticed Link make a fire and lazily throw a few sticks in, each time glancing up at me, as if words were on the tip of his tongue, eagerly waiting to get out. After what seemed like days, he finally gave a heavy sigh.

"What's with you? It's like you were ready to die there."

I didn't answer. If I told him about my earring he'd laugh at me, uncaringly lecturing me about how an old rusted piece of metal wasn't worth my life.

He pinched the bridge of his nose, an evident sign of his frustration and stared at me, his bright blue eyes meeting mine. I could see questions and thoughts swirling around in that thick head of his, still so out of it that I didn't notice a look of realization that turned quickly into deep concern. Seemingly satisfied with our inner dialogue, he stood up and brushed the dirt off of his pants.

"We'll probably be stuck here for awhile," he said, peeking out of the cave. He'd covered the entrance with a few branches from a nearby tree. I had to give him credit; it was a pretty good hiding place. When I didn't respond, he gave another heavy sigh. "So, that being said, we're gonna need to get something to eat. You stay here and I'll be back in an hour or so."

I gave a nod, still opting for silence.

He opened his mouth to say something, but instead gave a shake of his head. At the entrance of the cave, he paused briefly and gave a worried glance back my way.

"Stay out of trouble."

With that, he was gone.

The second he was gone, I found myself frustratingly craving his presence. He was a jerk of the worst kind, yet, I could tell I needed human interaction, especially from someone I've known since I was three years old…

Alone and depressed, I cradled my body, trying to ignore the red band around my wrists that told the story of endless capture, and cried myself to sleep.

The morning light peeked through the small opening of the branches and very rudely woke me up from a pleasant dream involving my mother. Angrily trying to banish the coming of reality from my sight, I waved my hand frantically around, accidentally slamming my chest. I gave a groan, unhappy with my own stupidity, and opened one of my eyes. To my surprise, Link's familiar green tunic covered my torn and tattered dress. Under the tunic was his chainmail, serving as a layer of protection from attackers in the night. I sat up, glancing frantically for Link himself…

…he was towards my right, sword still very much in his hand, fast asleep. There were some fish over the fire as well. Deciding not to wake him as he'd done a good job protecting me during the night, I nibbled at the fish and was surprised at how delectable they were. I wolfed all five fish down—hopefully Link had already eaten—and comfortingly hugged the tunic that still covered my chest. In that moment, even Jerkface seemed so sweet when he was asleep…

A bang, one that brought back haunting memories of yesterday's events, interrupted my moment of peace. Link reacted immediately, reaching for his shield and leaping towards the entrance. I screamed, instinctively hiding behind his strong back, cuddling the tunic and chainmail…

"Damn, how did they find us here!?" Link exclaimed. I didn't know what he saw, I was too afraid to look, but I was sure that the enemy was here and in big numbers. Still huddled behind him, I was still somewhat reassured, because I was with Link and he was the best fighter in Hyrule and as long as he was here I would never be in true danger.

All of a sudden, the strong back in front of me collapsed, leaving me exposed to an army of at least a thousand strong, with catapults to boot.

"Link?" I whispered, afraid to look. No. This was an emergency situation. I was a future leader of Hyrule, and I needed to remain calm in the face of adversity. I shook my head, slapping myself with Link's tunic and mentally preparing myself to observe Link. I knelt beside the fallen Hero, running my fingers through his honey blond hair and quickly pulling back when I felt his forehead. Goddesses, he was hot. His temperature was soaring through the roof! That meant…

I ran my fingers all over his unprotected body, trying to locate the source of the fever. I was no fool, I knew what a fever meant…

…sure enough, there was a deep crimson stain on his lower left back. I pulled his undershirt up, revealing a nasty wound. I forced bile back down my throat, forcing myself to thoroughly examine the deep, festering wound, the crimson morphing into a mixture of black and pus. Link needed immediate medical attention, or…

...Hyrule would be without its greatest Hero forever.

"You need help," I finally whispered, tearing at my already ruined dress and forming a rather hastily and terribly made bandage. "This wound…"

"…can't stop me," Link gasped, trying to force himself up. I couldn't imagine the pain he was in, but he was already on the ground before I could make him. There was no way he could fight in his condition, and at some level he knew it too.

"No," I pleaded. "You have to rest."

He gave a weak, choked cough. "And what? Leave you to fight for yourself? What kind of Hero would I be?"

I pulled him up, rubbing circles on his back in case he needed to bring up any bile or vomit. I pulled him close, closer than I would normally ever want him as another bang from the catapults came our way. The enemy would show us no mercy. I couldn't just go "oh hey, wait a few weeks while Link recovers, then let's fight." They sensed weakness, and any strategist worth his salt would pounce at the opportunity.

Link gave a pained cry, an obvious struggle of mind over body, his limbs shaking like Chu jelly. The strain was too much on him and his body let him know with harsh vomit, forcing the weakened Hero back to the ground and in my waiting arms. Even still, he tried, time and time again to get up…

…why was he doing this for me? I was only the Princess. Sure, Hyrule would be in deep trouble if I died, but it wasn't like I meant anything personally to him. But the way he was acting, it was almost like he could never live with himself if something happened to me…

Just like I couldn't live with myself if I let something happen to him.

Seeing Link struggle in front of me transformed me. There was no way he could fight and he'd die within seconds of stepping out onto the battlefield at this rate.

What kind of Princess was I? It was my duty to protect my subjects, especially one as loyal as Link. All these times he came running to my rescue…not because of my father or security's ineptitude, but because of my weakness. When was I going to take a stand? When would I finally be responsible for my own protection? When was I finally going to say "enough, you can't capture me anymore?"

This time it would be different. It was finally time for me to repay him, seventeen fold. I placed his green tunic over my body, leaving the chainmail to protect his weakened form, brushed my frazzled hair out of my face, and stood. I grabbed his shield and pried his special sword from his hand—too easily, which was a sure sign that he was unable to fight—and pushed back the branches that temporarily and fragilely shielded us. With the light of my lone remaining earring shining brightly in the sun, I, Princess Zelda of Hyrule, would not allow myself to be captured anymore.

It was my turn to be the rescuer.

"Zelda," Link croaked. I turned to him, to tell him not to worry that I would be back soon, but he cut me off the moment I opened my mouth.

"Swing the pointy end."

I only smiled and stepped into the harsh light.

The commander of the army only laughed. "The Princess? Well, this will be a piece of cake."

Yeah, that's what he thought.

After years of watching Link work his magic, it was impossible not to pick up on a few tricks or two. I ran straight for the catapults, using my quick reflexes and keen eye to avoid injury, intuitively dodging every blow my way. It was almost like I was born to fight. With a hearty battle cry, I swung my sword at the weak points of the catapults, bringing them down with two mere precision strikes. With the biggest threat to Link gone, I knew better than to waste my time on all the battle grunts.

Take away the leader and you win the fight.

With moves so graceful they resembled dancing, I leapt over hordes of idiotic foot soldiers, using one of their shields to boost me into the air. The fat commander's eyes widened as he saw his impending doom. He had no time to react as I plunged my sword into his gut, knocking him off of his horse as his remains became a pile of mush on the ground. It was the first time I killed someone, and a wave of emotions ran through me. Even someone as putrid as him surely had friends and people who loved him. It made me more motivated to be a better Princess and solve things diplomatically instead of with swords. I spurned his horse on, charging to the front and bringing his horse into a powerful rear in front of the cave where Link lay.

Without leadership, the army panicked and ran in multiple directions, cursing whoever told them that the Hylian Princess was a piece of cake to catch.

Tough to catch? Nonsense. All I did was take down a couple of catapults and a leader.

As a bonus, I had myself a new horse so I could rush back to Hyrule and get Link the help he so rightfully deserved. With the army in disarray, I decided to take Link and rush him out of there before they had a chance to regroup. I led the horse into the cave and leapt of its back, kneeling beside Link.

"Not bad," he coughed. "Maybe you're not so useless after all." Another cough as foamy bile spit out of his mouth. I was no doctor, but I was beginning to suspect that poison was to blame for this, not just infection. Link had what, a couple of hours tops? I had to act.

"Shush," I said, trying to bring him to the horse. The little bugger was heavy.

"I always knew you had it in you," he continued to ramble deliriously. It had to be delirious, of course, because he was actually complimenting me. I wish he was lucid so I could actually enjoy it and never let him forget my greatness.

"Are you complimenting me? You must be sick."

He laughed, another pained cough. "Yeah, probably," he said with a smile. "After all, giving you a couple of compliments isn't the first stupid thing I've done for you recently."

"Oh?" I wanted to keep him talking and distracted and readied myself for his boasting and bragging of his various rescues. The horse, seemingly grateful for my unintentional rescue, knelt down so I could get Link on his back. As I was maneuvering him onto the horse, Link reached up his fingers brushing against my wild and crazy hair, settling on my left earlobe. There was a quick prick and all of a sudden my left earlobe felt comfortingly heavy again, as if…

My mother's earring.

Despite the precarious situation, I stopped, mouth agape at him. My earring? He found my earring? But…where…how…is that how he got hurt? No, stupid Link would never go on such a fool's errand for me…

"How?" I only gasped out.

"Your expressions are written all over your face," he said with a smirk. "I knew something major was up when you were willing to risk your life to stay in that dingy hell-hole. It was obvious when I noticed your earring was missing. That's the last link to your mother, isn't it? It's important. You should probably keep a better eye on it next time." His body heaved, and I quickly moved into a more comfortable position to puke.

My name is Zelda, Crown Princess of Hyrule. I'm beautiful, smart, a born leader, and actually pretty damn good without a sword despite never actually wielding one until today. I've been kidnapped a lot, as matter of fact, you could probably make a good game about it. But you see, it's all my fault. I let myself be thrown helplessly in a cellar. I refuse to do that anymore. I am a strong woman, and I will protect myself and my country so I will never be kidnapped eighteen times. I will protect myself and my country so my Hero will never get hurt on a stupid mission for me again.

Sitting in a pile of vomit and stanking to the high heavens of poison, rot, pus, and barf, in tattered and mangled clothes and unkempt hair, I did the most unbelievable thing. I wiped the puke from Link's mouth, and…

…I kissed him.

Y'know, it's a shame I'm not a more patient and consistent author or this would have made a really cute short story with about 5 chapters or so. There's quite a bit I didn't overly develop (and I wanted to) because it was a oneshot and I wanted to keep it brief.

We have a couple of different things for me! A "weak" Zelda (Zelda is a very strong woman and it was fun to write an incarnation of her that wasn't a battle-hardened Princess), a first-person narrative, and a jerky Link. I thought it was time for a fun change.

Please let me know what you thought in a review! It would fill my heart with Eponas and rainbows. :)