AN./ I know that in the canon, Jane doesn't cry for a few days after Frost's death but here's a what if.

"There's nothing you can do. Jane, there's nothing you can do."

Jane was still shaking as Maura opened her front door to let her inside. Angela followed with a hand on her daughter's back but Jane barely noticed her.

"I'll make some tea," Maura suggested quietly.

Jane shook her head. "No, I should go home," she fretted. "Jo Friday—"

"—Knows full well how to forage food from your cupboards if it comes to that," Maura finished for her. "She's independent. She'll be fine without you for one night."

"I want to be alone," Jane whispered. She shied away as her mother tried to offer a hug. "No, Ma. I'm sorry… Just don't."

"I'll take care of her," Maura promised, resting a hand on Angela's arm. "I promise. You go to bed."

Angela sucked a deep breath in. "Barry was a sweet man," she announced. "I'm gonna miss him too, Jane."

Maura gave a half-hearted smile and squeezed Angela's arm. "Get some sleep," she said. "You're exhausted. I've got Jane."

"You'll make sure she's alright," Angela asked anxiously. Jane had turned away and wouldn't look at either of them.

"You know I will." Maura embraced Angela briefly and then patted her arms, dismissing her.

"I love you, girls," Angela told them in parting and then Jane and Maura were alone. The house fell dead silent as Angela's footsteps faded down the corridor.

"Love you, Ma…" Jane's words came out as a delayed response, several long seconds after Angela was gone. She turned back toward the empty hallway, as if confused, and met Maura's eye in the process. Her lip quivered and Maura stepped immediately into her arms. "Wait," Jane whispered. "You told me once… You don't like to be hugged when you're upset."

Maura shook her head and pressed her hands tighter against Jane's back. "You needing me trumps that, Jane."

Jane rolled her bottom lip between her teeth and bit down, desperate to keep her tears at bay. "It's not fair," she whispered.

"It's not," Maura agreed gently. She lifted a hand to cup Jane's cheek as she began to cry, despite her efforts. "Honey, it's okay to cry. It's okay."

"You're not crying," Jane argued. Her voice was weak and thready and it broke Maura's heart.

"I will," she promised. "It's too soon for me right now. And I— I need to be okay for you, Jane."

"You don't—"

"Yes, I do. It's okay." Maura tilted her chin up to kiss Jane's cheek softly. "You can sleep in the guest room if you want. But I'd rather you come to bed with me."

They stayed up late into the night. Little was said, although Jane cried a lot and Maura held her. Sometimes she kissed her cheek, her neck, or her shoulder. She kept her composure well and did everything possible to soothe her friend. When Jane fell to sleep and was awoken by a nightmare only forty minutes later, Maura wiped her brow and stroked her hair back and she kissed her—a soft, certain pressure against Jane's lips. Her eyes, as she tipped her head back, showed no sign of guilt or doubt. Only love.

Jane felt her heart stutter. She was feeling too much, too suddenly. It was building up inside her like water inside a balloon and she felt like she was going to burst without some kind of release. Crying wasn't doing it but, just for a second, Maura's kiss had distracted her. The pain had dulled. Jane didn't even think about it. She took Maura's face in her hands and she kissed her hard.

It wasn't soft. It wasn't sweet. It wasn't romantic. But it was necessary.

Jane had Maura on her back within seconds. She sucked and nipped Maura's tender bottom lip until she opened her mouth and then she pressed in with her tongue, tasting her, claiming her. She tasted like lip-gloss and tears, sweet and salty and perfect, and Maura took one of Jane's hands from her cheek and clasped it against her chest, squeezing it as she submitted to Jane's kiss. She responded only enough to encourage her friend, letting Jane remain firmly in control and giving her a respite from the helplessness she felt at Frost's death.

"You understand why I'm doing this, don't you?" Jane moaned and Maura nodded, rubbing her thumb back and forth over Jane's hand reassuringly.

"I'm here for you, sweetie," she answered. "You use me in any way that gives you some relief from the pain."

"I— I shouldn't—"

"I don't mind," Maura insisted. "I told your mom I'd take care of you. ...Jane, this is how I can take care of you."

"It's not fair."

Maura smiled and shook her head. "None of this is fair. But I know you, Jane. When you wake up tomorrow, you're going to go right back to bottling your emotions up, working yourself to the bone to avoid thinking about Frost. Let me help you tonight. I'm the one who started this. You're not taking advantage."

"I am," Jane sighed, leaning down to lay another, gentler kiss against Maura's lips. "But I'm not going to stop..." She released Maura's hand and reached for her waist instead, holding her in place possessively. "I'm so sorry, Maura. You're right. I do need you."

Maura leaned up to peck Jane's lips, showing her that it was okay, and she turned over Jane's hand in hers, encouraging her to touch her breasts. "It's okay," she kept saying between kisses. "It's okay, Jane. I'm yours. Take me, sweetie."

Jane wiped her eyes and threw herself into kissing Maura. Moving her leg between Maura's thighs, a thrill passed through Jane as the doctor gasped beneath her.

"You're perfect, Maur…"

"Thank you," Maura whispered with a soft, inviting smile. She lifted one hand to play her fingers through the fine curls at the base of Jane's neck and she slid the other up Jane's side, beneath her shirt. "How about we get rid of some of these clothes?"

Jane could only nod, kissing Maura deeply as the blonde pushed the shirt off her shoulders and unclasped her bra. Her whole body seemed to shake as Maura's hands found her bare breasts and Jane moaned when Maura guided her to lean over her mouth so that she could suck one nipple between her lips.

"Maur…" she sighed. "I want…" Jane swallowed tightly and reached her hands down between them, gripping the hem of Maura's shirt. Her friend stopped playing with her breasts only long enough to allow her to remove her shirt and then she renewed her efforts. Jane groaned, long and low, threading her fingers through Maura's hair. "Maur…" she began again.

Jane pulled back and the wet pop of her nipple escaping Maura's lips sent a rush of heat between her legs. She didn't give Maura a chance to ask if something was wrong; she slid down the doctor's body, dragging her lips between her breasts and over her ribs and she kissed her soft, pale stomach as she unfastened her skirt. Then she kissed her way down over Maura's silk panties, relishing the way Maura's breath caught and her muscles tensed in anticipation.

"You," Maura gasped. "Trousers off, now."

Jane was quick to comply, sliding her panties down with them, and she moved up to give Maura a long kiss. "Let me touch you," she begged. "I need you."

"I am letting you," Maura reassured her gently. She ran her hands up Jane's legs, folded at either side of Maura's hips. "Anything you need, I'm here… You want my panties off?"

Jane nodded, biting her lip hard, and her hands brushed over Maura's as the doctor helped her slide her panties down her legs. Their naked bodies met, so warm and alive that Jane's heart was breaking all over again. She kissed her way down Maura's neck and across her clavicle, sucking and biting and soothing the marks with her tongue. It was the only thing that helped—hearing and feeling Maura's response to her.

Jane tensed her leg between Maura's thighs and gave the doctor an appreciative kiss when her hips jerked up automatically. Maura's wetness smeared against Jane's thigh and Jane set a rhythm, which Maura followed, rocking their bodies together as their mouths moved against one another.

A tight gasp escaped Jane's mouth into Maura's as the blonde raked her nails over her ass. Her pussy was liquid heat and she couldn't help but quicken the pace, bring herself ever closer to orgasm against Maura's leg. When she finally brought herself to stop, it was because she couldn't go another second without tasting that woman's sweet, salty wetness on her tongue. She needed to please Maura above all else, needed to hear her beg and scream until the rest of the world and all its cruelty fell away. She needed to do that for her, so that she didn't have to think about all the things she should've, could've, done for Frost and never did; all the things she should've said before she saw him for the last time.

Maura's hips spasmed as Jane's tongue traced the outline of her vulva. Her hands wove themselves into dark, curly hair, damp with sweat born of fear, despair, arousal—desperation of any and every kind. Jane slipped her fingers between Maura's lower lips and relished how smoothly they glided through and the little catch in Maura's breath as she skimmed past her clit. She kissed over Maura's hipbones and brushed her nose through damp blonde curls, teasing her, and she could've sworn Maura purred beneath her. Jane brought her lips over Maura's clit and rewarded her with a little hum, sending vibrations rippling through her. Maura made the same little sound, louder now, and Jane licked her. It didn't take the doctor long to figure out that she could get Jane to give her more by responding vocally.

"Inside," Maura whimpered, her hands tightening in Jane's hair as the detective sucked her clit. "Inside me, Jane."

Jane did as she was asked, slipping one finger into the tight wet heat of her best friend's pussy, and Maura hissed at the sensation.

"Y-yes!" she gasped.

Maura tossed her hips, begging for more until Jane had to wrap one arm around her thigh to keep her still. Without letting up the rapid movements of her tongue, Jane pushed another finger inside and soon Maura was whimpering and hissing and wiggling her restrained hips. Her hands tightened in Jane's hair until she seemed to realise what she was doing and settled for brushing her thumbs over Jane's cheeks instead. Maura's touch was tender and affectionate and it made Jane's heart beat fast just as surely as her more carnal reactions.

Maura let out a sharp cry as Jane changed the angle of her penetration and a small sob escaped her throat. Her heart was full to overflowing with emotion and desire. "I love you," she choked, caressing Jane's face and shoulders desperately. "Oh, god, Jane. I love you… I'm so close. Just let me kiss you."

Jane swallowed hard, her throat tight as she crawled up Maura's body. She brushed her palm over her lover's hot, sensitive clit to replace her tongue and her breath caught for a second before she managed to lean down and take Maura's lips again. Their kisses were short but intense as Maura was rapidly running out of breath and Jane's heart filled with love at the sight of the woman beneath her—so open, so understanding, so willing to help her cope in whatever way she could. There was no way Jane could force back the confession that tumbled from her throat as she met Maura's eyes.

"Maur, sometimes… Sometimes I think you're the only really pure, beautiful thing left in the world."

Maura's eyes widened in shock and, for several long seconds, she could only stare at Jane—mouth open, chest heaving—and then her eyes squeezed shut and her whole body clenched as a powerful orgasm ripped through her. Maura tried to get Jane's name out but it was too much. She settled for clinging to her, bringing one arm tight around her shoulders and placing the other hand on the back of her head, pressing Jane's face into her neck. And Jane held her back, brushing her nose against Maura's clavicle and touching her so, so gently as she came down.

When she could speak again, the first thing Maura said was, "I love you," for the third time in minutes. She pulled Jane's mouth back to hers and gasped out breaths between kisses until she felt like she was going to faint if she didn't stop. Jane rested her forehead against Maura's and watched her disbelievingly, unable to reply.

Soon the tears were falling again and Maura stroked Jane's back understandingly. Her skin was cold to the touch as the sweat cooled and Maura gently brought the blankets up around them, cocooning herself against Jane. She knew instinctually that her best friend wasn't ready to go any further yet. Jane needed to strike a balance between her despair and her escape. Finally she found it.

"Frost would be happy we were doing this," she admitted softly. "He never really said anything but he liked to hint… About you and me."

"He wanted you to be happy," Maura answered. "And we do… We do make each other happy, Jane."

"Maura, thank you for letting me do that."

"Anytime," Maura whispered.

When they began to kiss again it was slow and tender but not uncertain. Maura rolled Jane gently onto her back and she kissed down every inch of her body, lathing her in sweet, loving kisses and embedding a silent message into each one.

It's not your fault that you weren't there, her lips tattooed against Jane's skin.

Barry looked up to you so much.

He loved you as much as you love him.

And it's okay to miss him, Jane…

…But it's not okay to blame yourself.

There was nothing you could do.