"How does he do it?" Nigel suddenly asked.

"Huh, what … who?" Wally said, confused. Nigel had been elaborating about his theories on the rampant corruption in the High School wrestling league for about fifteen minutes, so it had gotten a bit difficult to keep track.

"Hoagie." Nigel pointed towards the dance floor about 20 yards from their table under the banner "McCLINTOCK HIGH SCHOOL FRESHMEN DANCE". It was dominated by their friend and classmate Hoagie Gilligan who was dancing with tall blonde Kimberley. The chubby teenage boy was surprisingly light on his feet on a dance floor and spun and twisted as if gravity was somebody else's problem.

"Hoagie? What do you mean?" Wally asked.

"I don't know if you've noticed, but ever since we started here at McClintock we haven't seen much of Hoagie," Nigel said. "And it's usually because he is doing something with a girl – having a soda with Veronica, going to the movies with Rachel, shooting paintball with Fanny Fullbright …"

"Now that you mention it, yeah …" Wally said.

"And at the parties, he's out dancing with all the prettiest girls. I mean … it's like he's the star quarterback or something, instead of just president of the AV club. How does he do it? What's his secret?"

"What can I say?" Wally said. "Some guys are just lucky." He took another sip of his soda.

"No, there's got to be more to it than that, Wally." Nigel scratched his chin. "And I'm gonna find out what it is."

"Hello, guys," the two boy's friend, Abby Lincoln, sat down at their table. "So whazzup?"

"Hey, Abby," Nigel said. "Maybe you can help us. You're a girl, right?"

"Abby fits that description, yeah."

"And we wondered – why is it that all the girls are so fond of Hoagie. What's his secret?"

"So," Abby said, "you want Abby to betray the innermost secrets of girl-kind to the enemy, is that it? Well, all right – but it's gonna cost you the rest of that soda."

Nigel pushed his glass over to Abby, who took a gulp.

"I'll skip the obvious, that Hoagie is nice and kind and fun to hang out with," she said, " 'cause so are you two – otherwise Abby wouldn't be hanging out with you so much. Basically, it boils down to two things. First: Hoagie is not afraid of girls."

"Hey, I'm not afraid of girls," Wally objected.

"Oh, yeah? Then why are you sitting here and drinking soda and not out dancing with Kuki?"

"I'm … waiting for the right moment to ask," the Aussie boy said, defensively.

"Is that so? Well, while you have been waiting for the right moment, Hoagie has already asked five girls if they wanted to dance. And sure, some of them said no, but he did not take it personal. He figured that they just didn't want to dance at that time and moved on, until he found someone who wanted to dance with him. Girls like boys with that kind of confidence. The second reason is that Hoagie likes girls."

"Hey, I like girls!" Wally protested, a bit red-faced.

"So do I," Nigel said.

"I'm sure you do – but Hoagie really likes girls. So when he's with a girl, he really wants her to have a good time, and does his best to give it to her – and when she talks, he actually wants to hear what she has to say, instead of just waiting for her to stop, so he can talk more about himself."

"Is that really all?" Nigel asked, skeptically.

"Oh, you'd be amazed at how difficult some guys find it." Abby sat for a moment and let her words sink in. "But if it's the competition that you're worried about, then don't be. Hoagie is going steady with someone."

"What, with Kimberly?" Wally asked.

"No. With me."

"WHAT?" Nigel and Wally said in unison.

"Yeah. We danced and talked at a party, then he walked me home and we kissed and he asked me out for breakfast the next day, and we have been going steady since then."

"When did THAT happen?" Nigel asked, shocked that he could have missed such a monumental development between two of his best friends.

"In about fifteen seconds", Abby smiled. "See you guys on Monday." She emptied her soda, rose and strode confidently over towards the dance floor, where Hoagie and Kimberly were just finishing their dance. Nigel and Wally stared after her.

"Some guys are just lucky", Nigel sighed.

"You said it, mate" Wally agreed. "Let's get another soda".


This was inspired by Hoagie's constant and unafraid wooing of Cree Lincoln in the series. Now, there's a guy who is not afraid of rejection, even with deadly laser beams.

Hope you enjoyed the story

Ulathon