Hey, guys! Wasn't that new update (10/25) so fun?

Yeah, I literally cried for an hour and a half.

So, being the emotionally sadistic piece of shit that I am, have a new story! Obviously, it contains spoilers for the 10/25 update and a little before. And I tried to keep it not as graphic as I could have gone, but depending on what you're comfortable with, watch out.

And listen to "Unsung Glory" by Broadway Karkat (cantabileGato) while you read. Trust me.

It's a mess of teal and purple. Her screams will forever be burned into my memory. I'll never be rid of them.

But what I can do is get vengeance for all the pain he's caused her.

Kanaya's started running first, and she's got a pretty good head start. I know that she's thinking the same thing I am. But this isn't her fight. I've never held that damn sickle so tightly in my life, never been so ready to use it. I'm sprinting faster than I ever thought possible, and I pass by my rainbow drinker companion before long.

Too many people have died because of my mistakes. It's not happening again. This tentsquatting clown won't hurt anyone else.

I jump. I prepare myself. Gamzee is watching me. A few sweeps ago, if you'd told me that I was going to be in this position, I never would have believed it. But that's reality.

This fucker, this absolute monster. He'd been my best friend. He'd been my moirail, even if he'd been ridiculously shitty at it. He doesn't exactly seem to be a stellar kismesis, either.

Closer. Almost there. That's when he moves. He reaches down, and I all but freeze when I see what he's going for.

I was stupid. I was rash. I didn't make a plan, I just burst into action. And now he's grabbing me, and his arm is reeling back.

The blade of Terezi's sword pierces me with hardly any effort before he rips it out and plunges another hole in my chest. She's screaming again, but it's not in pain anymore. She's screaming for me. My name. She's horrified. So am I.

I can hardly breathe, and the taste of blood lingers in my mouth. He and I make eye contact for a fraction of a second. The wounds fill me with so much agony that I can't speak, can't allow my screams to mingle with Terezi's. Everything's moving slowly now. My hands are trembling. I can hear my pulse. And I just look at him. And he looks at me. Ignoring the insanity in his features, he looks proud of himself. Like he doesn't have any remorse whatsoever.

But then, I guess I should have seen that coming.

The next thing I know, I'm falling. It feels even slower than before. I wish it wasn't. I can feel heat on my back, getting stronger with every second. But this isn't my main concern.

What's killing me isn't the sword I've been impaled with. It's not the molten rock I'm about to fall victim to. It's the fact that my worst fear is happening again.

I couldn't save her. I couldn't save her, just like I couldn't save any of the others. I've never been able to save anyone. If anything, it's my fault that all of this happened. I've know that since we started playing, since shit first began hitting the whirling device. I've fucked up so many things in so many ways. This is just me getting what I deserve. It wasn't too long ago that I wouldn't have minded something like this. Not the knowledge of just how useless I am, but the general end. I'm not saying that I would have just stood there and let him kill me, but I wouldn't have been so upset.

I don't want to go. I'm not ready.

None of this should have happened. We were kids when this all started. Fucking kids. We should be sitting in our hives angsting about shit and freaking out about our quadrants, not fighting wars. Not watching everything we knew get destroyed before our eyes.

I shouldn't be dying.

She's still screaming for me, and I think Kanaya's joined in. I've never had this thought before, but right now I wish I were telepathic. Then they could both know. I could tell them how sorry that I am. That I never meant for things to end up this way, that they need to get to safety right now. To thank them for never giving up on me, even when I'd long since given up on myself. That they shouldn't mourn me. They've got more important things to worry about.

I've never understood why they care so much, anyway. I didn't start off as an asshole. Really, I was disgustingly nice. But that was before I was really introduced to the world I lived in. Once I learned about the hemospectrum, about the danger that came with my blood, that was when I changed. I was sure to push everyone away, to make whomever I came in contact with to absolutely despise me. And it worked for a long time. But then I met eleven of the most stubborn shitwagons the universe had to offer. No matter how much I tried, they stayed by my side. I would piss them off, yet they never left.

They'll never get to know how much that means to me.

The heat isn't just a discomfort anymore. It's far worse. It won't be long now. A few more seconds, and it will be over. I try to comfort myself with remembering how calm the dream bubbles were. Getting to see Alternia again, even if it was only a projection. Not that Alternia was very peaceful. But it was home. And as I hid out in my block, I could almost pretend that everything had just been a nightmare. That things would go on as they always had.

Suddenly, I feel it. My shirt is smoldering, and my back is doing the same. Oh, God, just hurry up. If it had to be this way, then couldn't it just be quick? Sinking further in, and I'm aware of every moment that my skin is burning. I want to scream, but nothing is cooperating. I'm thinking only of pain. I need to focus on something else.

Terezi. I picture her smile, her laugh. The one time I was at her hive and she convinced me to sit on a branch with her, and I'd nearly fallen off before she caught me. Never did live that down.

The back of my neck is submerged in a red-hot grip.

Darkness is clouding the edges of my vision, and if I didn't know better, I'd say I see a figure reaching a hand toward me. It's only a flash, less than a second, but I can tell that he's a troll, wearing a grey cloak. He's not threatening. He seems to be welcoming.

He looks almost like me.

I push the thought aside for one that's much more important. There are so many things I wanted to do, so many things I wanted to say, so many dreams I wanted to accomplish. And now I'm expected to just let them go.

I wanted so much more than this for them. They deserve better. And you know what? For the first time, I think maybe I did, too.

My horns. My jaw. My face. Searing, blistering pain. I stare straight ahead. One hand is still raised up, as though I'm trying to physically cling to life.

I always thought that I was meant to be something. That I was going to be like the classic underdog who rose to the top. Now I'm just sinking.

My entire head is below the surface now.

Just before my hand goes under, I feel something else. Not quite someone grabbing it, but definitely close. It's cold, and just short of physical touch. It doesn't let go, even after my hand is in the same anguish the rest of me is. And in my ear, cutting through the sound of my burning flesh, a voice. Gentle, clear as day. "You've fought well, child. You can rest now." Though my eyes have burned away, I see him. Grey cloak. Hair and horns not unlike mine. Kind smile.

I say my goodbyes in my head. My final apologies.

I'm sorry I failed as a leader.

I'm sorry for being such a terrible friend.

And I'm sorry for never saying the one thing I've always wanted to:

Terezi Pyrope, I