On one hand, her fingers twisted the engagement ring in circles, the other gripped tightly onto the sink she was leaned against. "I can't associate with you guys anymore." She said softly, "It's too dangerous for me to even talk to you after what happened at Malfoy Manor."

"Why him, Rem?" Neville demanded, his eyes burning into her face even though hers were turned down. She had slipped him a note telling him to meet her in the fifth floor boy's lavatory. Without any small talk, she dove right into the hard stuff. "Of all the people- It could have been Seamus, Dean, hell, that Zabini kid. You would have been safer." He paused, closing his eyes for a second, turning his gaze upon the floor. "It could have been me."

"It's not worth it, Neville." She said.

"I know." He agreed softly. "I just-" He stopped again, looking back up at her. "I care more about you than anyone else in Hogwarts. I want you to be safe."

"That's why I'm cutting myself off from the DA." She remarked. "I need to keep Draco safe, too. Not just me."

"You asked me if I had feelings for you once, a while ago." He began, stepping over to lean against the sink beside her.

"Neville, I hope this isn't going the way-" She started to say, her body tensing up slightly.

"No, Rem. I do love you. But like family. You know?" He looked at her for a moment, waiting for her response. She turned her eyes on him, but didn't say anything right away. "Neither of us really have much family, right? Well, we could be like our own kind of family. And I could be like the brother who hates your boyfriend." He offered a smile.

She laughed gently. "I guess."

"I don't expect you to talk to me anymore after this." He said, "And that's alright. I just wanted you to know that you mean a lot to me, Rem."

She nodded. "I know," She said, "I'm sorry." She chewed on the inside of her cheek for a second. "Life sucks."

"You're telling me." He breathed.

"I know you'll take good care of Fay. But make sure you don't tell her anything. The less people who know I'm not doing this of my own choice, the better." She said.

"I know, Rems."

She exhaled heavily. All she could do is hope that the war would be here and done before too much longer. She moved away from the sink she was leaning on and wrapped her arms around Neville in a hug.

He hugged her back and she was struck by how much taller he was than her. Only a few years ago he was the same height as her, and now he was several inches taller. He was easily as tall as Draco, if not taller still.

Remington walked down to the front of class, her insides screaming. She knew exactly what was about to happen, and all she wanted to do was turn and run out of the classroom. She could feel everyone's eyes burning into her. Her eyes settled on Neville, who was staring back at her.

"Go on, Alvers." Alecto said, the greatest jeer ever within her tone. "Demonstrate for us."

Rem stopped once she'd made it to the very front of the room, standing opposite of Neville. She knew she really had no choice. If she defied Alecto now, now that she had no protection under her engagement to Draco, she was sure to be thrown into what was left of the old dungeons and killed later, if not right on the spot. She'd make a good demonstration of the Killing Curse.

But it was Neville. Neville, whom she cared for deeply, and whom she knew cared for her as well. Neville, who'd been a friend to her since she'd come to Hogwarts. Neville, whose parents were tortured into madness by this very curse she was being commanded to perform.

While she stared at him, carefully still and carefully expressionless, she could have sworn she saw him give her the slightest nod.

She raised her wand and the words seemed to leave her lips without her mind ever allowing it. "Crucio."

Neville crumpled to the ground in a writhing mass of agony. Rem could nearly feel her heart trying to tug her wand away, kicking and screaming. She released the spell only when she could see Alecto cross her arms in her peripheral. Rem looked at the woman as she let her wand fall back to her side.

"Very good, Alvers. I didn't think you had it in you." Alecto said, a terrible smile on her face. "Have a seat."

Rem couldn't bring herself to look at Neville, a panting, shaking figure slouched on the ground, or any of the faces in the class, people who had trusted her, or Death Eaters' children who hadn't yet been asked to do what she'd done, as she walked back to her seat. She silently slid back onto the chair beside Draco, who stared at her as well.

She shouldn't have done it. She was officially the worst person in the entire world. They all stared.

Rem began shuffling through her papers as Alecto announced that the class was dismissed. She shoved everything back into her bag and threw it over her shoulder. As she passed the desk where Neville had sat, at the back of the class, she stuffed something into his bag and prayed he'd see it soon.

As soon as they'd left the classroom Draco drug her by the arm into an alcove beneath the stairs and cast a silencing spell. His hands seized her face, forcing her to look at him. She realized that she hadn't looked directly at anyone since the ordeal.

"Stop doing that." He said.

"What?" She asked, confused.

"The thing you do when you're trying to do Occlumency. The thing with your face." He replied.

She also hadn't realized the thoroughness with which she'd put her guards up.

"Are you okay?" He asked, "Oh, fucking hell you're not okay." He muttered, pulling her into a hug.

"How sweet of you." She mumbled, feeling like a limp noodle in his embrace.

"Jesus Christ, Rem." He breathed into her hair. "I'm sorry."

She propped herself against the wall of the fifth floor men's lavatory, near the sinks. She rubbed her forehead anxiously, trying to think of how she could possibly explain herself. What on earth could she possibly say to even remotely make things better?

She just wanted to punch the wall, hex the mirrors, lay waste to the entire room, anything to release her frustrations. She might need to take back her assertion of waiting until marriage with Draco, if it came to that. It was literally hell on earth already, what worse could it possibly do, anyway?

She thunked her head back against the wall. She hoped to God that Neville found the note she'd left him. The sooner she could speak with him, the better. Less time for her to feel like an utter and complete piece of troll shit.

"Rem," The voice startled her, as she hadn't heard the door open. It was Neville.

"Neville, I-" She began, but her throat dried up as she spoke. Instead, her eyes started to grow fuzzy. Oh God, not now-

"Rem, it's alright-" He stopped a few feet away, unsure. He couldn't see her eyes misting up from where he was.

"It's not alright!" She disagreed sharply. "It's not!" And the tears made their debut.

"Rem," He said again, crossing the space to place a hand on her arm.

"I tortured you! How can that be alright? How are you alright?" She was trying not to full-on cry, but it was growing more difficult.

But he just pulled her into a hug. "I'm not talking to you until you aren't hysterical anymore."

"I'm not hysterical." She argued, resting her forehead on his shoulder.

"Stop crying."

"I'm not crying!"

"Are too." He remarked. "Don't lie to me, Rem."

She said nothing, focusing intently on calming her breathing down. Once the hiccups of fresh tears had dissipated, she straightened her neck and he released her, looking at her expectantly.

"I'm sorry." She said.

"For this or for… that." He asked, putting his hands in his pockets.

"… Both." She replied.

"Rem, I know you had no choice." He said, looking directly into her eyes despite her trying to avoid his. "I'd take every Cruciatus Curse if it meant the others didn't have to."

"But-" She began.

"Listen," He interrupted her, "I know what you want to say. My backstory doesn't have to affect what's happening now. Understand?"

She met his gaze finally. "Okay." She said softly.

"Good." He said, "Now if Alecto ever has you torture anybody again, I mean, I don't want to be tortured, but I'd rather, you know."

"I hate that." She said pitifully.

"Yeah." He agreed. "Me too."

"How the hell did we get here from fifth year?" She asked.

"Good question." He said, giving her a tiny smile.

She cracked a weak one of her own. At that, his smile grew.

"You need to get some sleep." He commented, "Do you want me to walk you to Gryffindor Tower?"

She rubbed her cheek guiltily. "Actually, I'm going to-"

"Right," Neville remarked, cutting her off. "I don't want to know."

She gave him a weak and tired smile as they parted ways and she headed down to the dungeons.