Disclaimer - I of course do not own Ranma 1/2 and do not profit from this piece.

I started this after finishing the manga for the second time and once again being frustrated by the ending. I have always wanted Ranma and Akane to be more affected by the Saffron arc and mature a little as a result of their ordeal (can't have them mature too much or they wouldn't quite be the characters we know and love). So for my story I have picked up after the group returned from China with Akane after her near death. There is no failed wedding and in my head canon there is no cure for Ranma. I hope you enjoy my take on the characters. I am not an aspiring writer, I just did this for fun.

Chapter 1 - Return from Jusenkyo

Ranma was sitting on the porch staring out at the koi pond. They had returned from Jusenkyo 2 weeks ago and Akane was finally feeling more like herself again. She had been weak for several days while they were in China and Ranma often thought about the first day she was able to get out of bed. She had found him staring at the cursed training grounds, all the pools were flooded, too dangerous to touch. Who knows what kind of monster the victim would become. There was no way to for him to be cured and she had tried to comfort him. Since returning home the family had mostly left him alone. Likely due to the fact he glared angrily at anyone who spoke to him. Akane thought he was mad about not being able to be all-man again and so did everyone else among his family and friends. That wasn't quite it, it was just simply easier to let everyone think that way. He was disappointed but the anger over his curse had faded long ago. While looking at the flooded pools he had begun to accept that he might never be rid of his female side, it was just a part of him now. He had occasionally visited Akane while she recovered but so far they hadn't talked about her near death. The family were all incredibly grateful that she was brought home safely, however he couldn't truly feel the same and their fawning just made it worse. She had died in his arms, he was sure of it and had no idea how she manage to come back to him. The feeling of loss was so overwhelming that it hadn't left him yet; however it was gradually being replaced by guilt. If Akane had never met him, if Pop hadn't drug him all over China training, if… if …. So many ifs. He could barely look at her. Even Shampoo and Ukyo had tried to cheer him up but offers of various types of comfort hadn't been met with welcome. Hell he barely remembered their visits, he was probably rude to them but couldn't bring himself to care. Shampoo had threatened Akane while she was shrunk, even though she was under the control of Kiima, he doubted he would ever be able to forgive Shampoo.

The only thing Ranma found that numbed him a little was training. He spent hours in the dojo running through katas, then kicks, then punches. The faster he could force himself to move the less he became trapped in his thoughts. There was another thought that kept him from talking to Akane, he was scared. Even if this danger was past, there was always going to be another. Another challenger, another plot or another woman out to hurt her. He didn't like the idea but once the thoughts had intruded his mind he knew what he had to do. He had to train her. He felt like he was losing track of the number of times in the past year she had been kidnapped. This last time she was not only hurt but ….

His shoulders sagged further. He had to stop thinking about losing her and reminded himself she was upstairs in her room talking to Nabiki. She was alive and getting back to normal.

Standing up and walking out toward the pond, he could look up at her window. He watched for a few minutes silently hoping she might look out. When she didn't and he walked once again to the dojo. He hadn't pulled out blocks to break in a long time. He could break walls, blocks were pretty elementary to him. But while he broke them he thought about all the times he had watched Akane breaking them, usually when she was mad at him. At that he actually stopped and the barest hint of a smile tried to form. He knew how to interact with her when she was violent. He had no clue what to do these days. He wanted to be nicer to her. He wanted to fight less. She had tried to sacrifice her life for his and he didn't want it ever happen again. He had sat holding her body after falling down into the source waters of Jusenkyo. He knew he had cried, he almost never cried, but the tears wouldn't stop that day. His throat was constricting just thinking about it.

"You are going to have to talk to him you know." Nabiki was sitting on Akane's desk chair with her legs crossed looking bored. Akane knew she really wasn't. Nabiki spent many hours visiting in her room the first week she was back. Her family had barely let her leave her room. Nabiki flipped her hair and looked right at Akane. "If I had a fiance who let me get hurt, he would be groveling and a small clutch of flowers would never earn my forgiveness." Akane glanced at the little vase of flowers on her desk. She didn't know why but she hadn't told the family everything that happened. She didn't want to admit that she was caught off guard when she was taken. She also hated to think about how Ranma's life had been truly in danger. The events at Jusenkyo had remained rather personal for her.

"Ranma was so close to his cure. You should have seen his face when he was looking at all the flooded pools." She was hurt that he hadn't visited much but neither of them seemed to want to talk about the trip yet. "If the family would only be nicer to him, he will get back to being himself."

"Humph, it doesn't matter what we say or do. He just looks like he wants to kill everything he sees. It has been better to stay away from him. He doesn't even eat with us. Kasumi just leaves meals outside the dojo. At least he stopped sleeping in there."

Akane's eyes suddenly went wide. If I can show him I am strong enough to start training again, then maybe his sullen mood will start to go away. She tried to get back to normal every chance she could. So far she hadn't been allowed to go out jogging or to even enter the dojo, although she argued everyday with her father about that fact. Akane had sneaked her weights in her room and was using them whenever people actually left her alone. At night she made sure her curtains were closed and turned on a small light to at least do some basic stretches. They also needed to talk without the risk of interruption. Most nights when she dreamed she felt like she was falling and Ranma was holding her and yelling that he loved her. She never knew if this was just all in her head or if it actually happened. She hoped that Ranma might visit at night, he was usually more comfortable sneaking in at night to say something important. Like the time she hurt her leg and had to stay in the hospital or when their fathers had been fighting. She figured that it was just to avoid anyone seeing him and accusing him of trying to do something inappropriate. Which happened when you have fathers and sisters who seemed to sneak around trying to catch that sort of thing. Their motives never seemed to be to stop them rather to just have an excuse to force them to marry. Well technically he had sneaked in but not to talk to her. She would think about that later. She didn't want to accidentally say something in front of Nabiki.

"What are you thinking little sister?" Nabiki eyed her suspiciously. Akane had an idea she was sure of it. With a half-smile she thought well finally.

"Nabiki, I will pay you 5000 yen to get the family to go out and do something tonight. Tell them I need less visitors and would like to sleep and to just leave Ranma alone. I know you can do it without them thinking they would be abandoning me."

"What are you up to? Going to properly thank Ranma for bringing you back?"

Akane blushed. "NOOOOOOOOOO!" The book in her hand went flying across the room.

"Guess you didn't leave the violence in China. " Nabiki grabbed Akane's wallet from her desk. "5000 huh? Normally a conspiracy like this would cost you more but you get the recovering patient discount"

"Gee thanks."

"Think nothing of it. I will keep them away for 2 hours. Make sure to finish up before we get back."

Akane just sat and growled at Nabiki's back while she walked out the door. After Nabiki was gone she calmed herself down and began to work out the best way to approach Ranma. Her dreams were the same every night, she was falling with Ranma. He was screaming at her to hold on and not to die and every night he screamed "I love you". She wanted to believe he had actually said that but she knew it could be just a dream. Two days after they returned she woke up after the dream and heard soft snoring. Glancing towards the sound she saw Ranma asleep on her floor. The size wasn't quite right for him and she finally realized that he was in his girl form. Akane had learned over the past year that girl-type Ranma didn't snore as loud as boy-type. She wondered why he was doing this and why it had stopped. It was one of the many things they needed to talk about.

On her way downstairs Nabiki stopped by her room to grab the circus tickets she had won in a card game she had hosted a few days ago.

"It just doesn't seem right to go to the circus without Akane."

Nabiki calmly looked at her father while he was talking. "I already asked her, I caught her lifting weights and she had tired herself out," laughing as she told everyone. It was only a little lie. Akane didn't actually know that her sister knew about the weights in her room. "She is going to be fine and frankly Akane has never liked us smothering her when she gets sick."

"That's true father, remember when she was little and it was so hard to keep her in bed whenever she was sick. If she is actually tired we should leave her alone." Kasumi knew Akane so well and was sure that a couple hours of quiet would be good for her. Although she suspected something else was going on, she knew if Ranma and Akane were here alone they might have a chance to talk to each other. She was actually more worried about Ranma. He had never been so surly towards her. In fact he was usually respectful towards her but even though he grumbled a thank you for any help she gave him, he never smiled. One night that she had gone to check on both of them she found that Ranma wasn't in the spare bedroom on his futon, worried further she went to check on Akane and could hear soft snoring through the door. She very quietly had peeked in to find Akane resting quietly and Ranma in his girl form on the floor. Both looked like they were sleeping well and she didn't disturb them. Frankly with how embarrassed both of them got at the mere mention of kissing, she wasn't worried that they would do anything inappropriate. They needed to get through this and recover both mentally and physically and then maybe they could actually get closer and show their feelings. "I think I would really like to go, father." Soun Tendo had always had trouble telling his oldest daughter no. She did so much for the family since his wife had died and asked for so little in return.

Nabiki knew with Kasumi's support it was a done deal. Her older sister could sweetly talk her father into anything.

Genma nodded, "I'll go make Ranma come with us. The boy needs to get over not being cured, maybe a trip out will finally do him some good."

Nabiki caught a quick movement near the brushes outside. "Ha, no way. This is a chance for the rest of us to have fun and Ranma will only ruin it. He has no intention of being kind to any of us, it doesn't matter what we say or do. I for one want a break from it." Nabiki's eyes had hardened and she dared Genma to argue with her. A look crossed Genma face and she wondered if he truly thought Ranma would ever be the same.

"Ranma is in the dojo again anyway. Maybe all the training he is doing will eventually bring him out of it." With that Soun turned to get ready to leave.

Nabiki silently wished Akane good luck and followed the rest.

Ranma was not in the dojo. He was going to go inside and try again to face Akane and had overheard the plans to go out. Jumping into the nearest bush he hoped no one saw or heard him. He had no desire to be surrounded by happy people having fun. Guilt settled over him again, he was making their lives miserable and couldn't seem to stop.

After they left he entered the house and went to the kitchen. Maybe Akane would like some tea and it would give him something to do while he tried to talk to her. He was going to mess it up. He always seemed to. All he knew is that he had to find a way to tell her …. Damn you Ranma, you can jump off buildings, cliffs and into what felt like hell itself to get to her but you can't tell her why. COWARD.

He knocked on her door; frowning when there was no answer. She had told Nabiki she was tired. She must be asleep. I'll just peek in to see if she is ok, he opened the door and looked in. He just wanted to check on her.

The first week he would sneak into her room late at night and fall asleep on the floor of her bedroom but always as his female side. He knew that if she found him she would punish his female side less than his male side. He (she) was really careful to leave before her fiance might wake up. A couple of the nights she thought she heard Akane wake up in middle of the night but since she didn't get hit or literally kicked out, she assumed she either hadn't seen her or was just imaging things. He stopped after a while and started sleeping in the dojo, although he would find himself hanging outside her window. Seeing her sleep had been reassuring enough that the nightmares weren't coming every time he closed his eyes. Sleeping in her room had been for her protection, at least that is what he told himself, but he noticed that he slept a little better too. Three days ago she must have seen him checking on her because she had started closing her curtains. She probably thought he was a pervert, one of her favorite insults for him. Glancing at the bed he saw it was made. He opened the door a little wider and dropped the tea cups. Her curtains were blowing with the breeze… her window was open. His heart dropped to his feet and his mouth went dry. She was gone again. He raced to the window and looked out but she wasn't out there. His heart was racing, his breathing was very rapid and his throat was tight again. Jumping out the window he used the lower roof to jump to the upper one. He scanned the area quickly looking for anything out of place. That is when he saw it, the light was on in the dojo. He was sure he hadn't left it on. Anger quickly replaced fear. She had sneaked out to train. He knew she frequently complained that she wanted to. He was moving quickly toward the dojo roof. She set this up. She probably even counted on me being gone. That idiot.

He tore the door open and started to yell at her for whatever idiotic thing she was doing. Breaking bricks he assumed. "AKANE, YOU IDIOT!" But he stopped and stared. "A_kan_e?" She was in her gi but she was sitting on her knees in front of the little sign at the back. He took a deep breath, walked to her and sat down with his legs crossed. "What are you doing out here?" He was ready to argue with her. Ready to talk her out of whatever insane idea she had cooked up.

"I came out to find you." She hadn't looked at him yet. He shifted a little so that he could face her better but he wasn't completely in front of her. He want to be able to look away if he had to.

"Why? Nobody wants to be around me."

Akane looked at Ramna finally. He is being grumpy, maybe I wouldn't have to see the sadness and guilt in his eyes. She might be able to get through this.

"I want to talk about Jusenkyo." There is was. She had worked on several ways to approach this but suddenly being direct seemed like the best one.

Ranma took a deep breath and sighed. "Yeah I guess we have to eventually. What do you want to talk about?" He was sure she was going to say that he should have been less reckless. Or maybe that he shouldn't give up on a cure. What she eventually said surprised him.

"I'm sorry. I was mad at myself and worried about you. I let my guard down and that lousy, stupid bird man got me. By the time I sensed the danger it was too late."

"What? Akane! They should have been in China. They took you to get to me. It is my fault AGAIN that you were in danger."

"Again?" This was the guilt she had seen so many times in his eyes and she was tired of seeing it there. "Look at me." She put on her sternest face. "Look at me NOW!"

Ranma looked up wide eyed and shocked. She was angry. He knew his face was starting to look angry too. Shit, they were going to fight. I don't know how to stop it. "WHAT?"

"You idiot, they took me because they knew it would work, they were desperate. THEY took me. IT WASN'T YOUR FAULT."

"THEY TOOK YOU BECAUSE THEY KNEW HOW IMPORTANT YOU ARE TO ME!" Ranma froze and looked away. Normally he would immediately try to take the words back. This time he couldn't. Maybe she would now understand that he was dangerous for her. Her life would be better if they weren't engaged. He couldn't bring himself to call off the engagement but maybe if she did it would be easier. COWARD!

"I know, they found the picture of me that you were carrying in your shirt." was all she quietly said causing him to blush deeply. "Ranma, why were you sleeping in my room last week?"

This was not going how he expected at all. Everything she said was catching him off guard. They both sat there quietly for a few minutes.

"Umm… I … I … you knew about that?" She simply nodded. He was trying to find the best way to say why without getting in trouble. "I don't know, but it was the only way I felt less worried. I'm sorry, please don't be mad at me."

"I... um… I'm not mad. It's not like you tried anything funny."

"Why would I try something funny? It's not like…" He managed to stop himself, he couldn't make her angry. He took a deep breath and tried again. "That wasn't why I was there. I was scared you would disappear or that you weren't really okay. "

"Ranma!" Akane's eyes were wide. "I am okay because of you."

"YOU WERE ALMOST DEAD BECAUSE OF ME!"

"YOU IDIOT I CHOOSE TO DO WHAT I DID, I COULDN'T STAND BY WATCH YOU POSSIBLY DIE."

They stared away from each other for a longtime, each waiting for the other to say something. Ranma knew he had to calm down, he would just rather fight. It was easier to fight because he never stopped to think about what he was doing or saying.

"You should have stayed back." Ranma finally said.

Akane felt tears forming. "ARE YOU ACTUALLY TRYING TO SAY THAT I SHOULDN'T HAVE SAVED YOU?" She suddenly stopped. Ranma was crying. She had only seen him cry a few times and all of them when he thought she was hurt or cursed. "Ranma?"

"YOU DON'T GET IT. I HELD YOUR BODY. YOU WERE DEAD IN MY ARMS. I DIDN'T THINK I HAD BEEN ABLE TO SAVE YOU. NOTHING MATTERED ANYMORE." Tears fell down his face. Where had that come from? He hadn't even admitted that to himself.

He loved her, he had to, why else would he say something like that? She had mostly known but wanted to hear him say it out loud. She thought he had said it when he was struggling to save her in China. Her plan tonight was to get him to admit it. She thought it would make things better. She now understood that wasn't what would. He didn't need to say it. He needed to hear it. She had heard it often from her family, he hadn't. His father thought that hardship built character and made him manly and although his mother loved him she was ready to help him commit seppuku if he failed to become a man among men.

She stopped thinking and acted. To hell with the consequences. She leaned forward and grabbed his head in her hands forcing him to look right at her. "Ranma I didn't want to lose you either, I had to try to do something because …" she took a deep breath and closed her eyes, "because I love you." Her world twisted, she wasn't facing the same way anymore. It took her a couple of seconds to orient herself, she was in Ranma's lap, one of his arms under her shoulders and the other around her waist. Damn he was fast. She was never going to quite get used to that.

He was felt like he was back at the source waters, holding her after she had woken up. He had desperately wanted to kiss her but didn't. He knew everyone was watching then, but it was only her here now. "I want to kiss you." His voice was barely above a whisper. Her fingers touched his cheek and then slide to his neck, tightening ever so slightly. That was all the approval he needed, leaning down his lips met hers. The kiss continued tenderly, then Ranma deepened the kiss a little and held her tighter. As they parted he felt a smile form, it seemed almost foreign on his face.

Akane smiled up at him. She was debating getting him to kiss her again. It had been really nice. But as she watched he slowly got a funny look on his face. His brow furrowed into a frown. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing"

She scowled at him, "Can't you just tell me? I think we already got through the hardest part of the conversation. Which is pretty surprising for us."

"That is the problem. Nothing is wrong. No camera flash. No father's running in. No wedding banner suddenly appearing. How do they do that anyway? No pain from being hit."

Akane laughed. "I paid Nabiki to get the family away from the house for 2 hours. So that I could talk to you."

He smiled again. "Well you are smarter than I am. I just kept trying to work up the nerve to come in your window after they had gone to bed and talk to you but the farthest I got was sleeping in there."

She laughed for a few minutes and agreed whole-heartedly that she was definitely smarter. He decided that he could think of a better way to shut her up now and it was a lot more fun than insulting her. He smiled cockily at her and she had about half a second to go wide eyed before he stopped her mouth with his. His guilt wasn't gone but his heart felt lighter than it had in weeks. Now he just had to figure out how to train her without hurting her. She always wanted him to fight back when she tried to spar with him but she needed to learn that speed was as important as strength. She wasn't going to like that.

I have more chapters written and if there is some interest I will post them. This is my first time posting here. I wrote this primarily for myself and wasn't sure if I would ever bother sharing it. R&R please.