I don't own anything relating to Pokémon.

"AND THREE! SMILES GO FOR MILES!"

"Time to get to work!"

The crew separated to perform their assigned jobs, and Gary blatantly ignored Polly as he strolled over to the ladder with a purpose. They were going to complete a damn job today. If they failed again, he'd never hear the end of it from Ash, and Oak was just going to have to kill the moron. Point, blank, period.

However, he was going to do everything to avoid that scenario because being in the same prison as Drowzee would not be a pleasant experience. His ass would be on the line.

"HEY, you two!"

Gary kept moving, because there was no way that the bastard was addressing them. Loudred had to know that the chance of him getting hurt was higher when the eevee was around. Oak had a very low patience level for that piece of shit – it was lower than his level for Ash, and that was saying tons.

"Gary, I think he's talking to us…" Ash muttered from behind him.

"He's not, and if he was, I don't care." However, Gary did pause and peer over his shoulder when footsteps fast approached them. His expression instantly morphed in to a scowl when Loudred stopped in front of the duo, looking sour. If Gary could have broken that irritating alarm clock, he would've done it many times over. "The hell do you want?"

"Aren't you supposed to be trying to get back on Wigglytuff's good side?" Ash stifled a snicker, and Gary snorted at the reminder.

Loudred growled, but didn't respond to that jeer. "We…" Whatever what he was about to say seemed like it pained him. "…need your help with something today."

And Gary completely understood why. Working together? Oak was more likely to throw a pokémon battle. Or mysteriously grow a second fucking head. "Out of all the members here-"

"Do you think picking you two was MY idea?!" Loudred loudly huffed. "I'd rather risk having devious strangers in here than choosing YOU two to help!" The apprentice heavily sighed and gestured over to Diglett, who was waiting by a hole in the ground. "Diglett talked me into it."

"Then talk him out of it!" Ash frowned up at the hole, inching over to the ladder. "I was born for adventure dammit! And plus, I need to see Gary fail so I can rub it in his jerky face!"

"I hate you."

"Love you too, Gareb – ack!"

Gary tackled Ash to the ground, and was putting all of his weight on the mouse's head. He stomped multiple times, the other simultaneously grunting with every hit. Ketchum was squirming violently, and when Oak saw the beginnings of static in those red cheeks, he stomped one last time before hopping off.

Oak disregarded the groaning Ash as he peeled himself off the ground. Gary focused on Loudred, who was staring at him in muted horror. "And why in the hell should we help you?" he asked like nothing had happened.

"Shit Gary…" Ash hissed as he carefully stood back up. "Is me getting my head targeted going to become a daily effing thing? That hurt!"

"I can make it a daily thing."

"And I can push you into a puddle of water in the next dungeon we're in. I don't need to explain to you why water's weak to electric, do I, Oak?"

"…I retract my previous statement."

"This…This is all my fault…" Loudred had a thousand-yard stare. "I was the one who let the two of you in here, and this is my punishment. Just…great." The big mouth held his head in his hands. "I've brought this CURSE upon us!"

Gary blinked. "And…he's lost it. Let's go Ash, we gotta-"

"WAIT! Just…" Loudred held a hand out. "This job'll pay you more than whatever's on those boards."

Ash suddenly perked up. "Really? That's all that you had to say! We're in!"

He should have hurt the idiot more. "No we are not Ash!"

"I really must've killed someone in a past life because NO ONE deserves this kind of curse."

Gary whirled toward the apprentice. "How about you just go fuck yourself." Loudred didn't look mad anymore, he just seemed defeated.

"C'mon Gary! You never know, it might be fun!" Ash nudged his shoulder, mischievously smirking. "And think about it like this…he owes us if we do the job."

Well that changed everything. Gary's mind was already cooking up some ideas as he responded. "How could I decline that kind of offer?"

Loudred was singing a different tune now, highly distressed. "Very EASILY!" Gary and Ash had already begun making their way towards the ground type. Oak snorted in amusement when he heard, "I regret all of this."

When the trio crowded around the hole, Loudred muttered, "Diglett, I brought them…"

"You know, if you were always at that volume, then I wouldn't absolutely despise you right now," Gary commented lightly. But no, the guy had to be screaming all the time. It's a shame, really.

Diglett seemed somewhat stressed as he gazed at the trio. "Thank you, Loudred. This…should go smoothly."

"Yeah I doubt it." Loudred sighed before going over to stand by his friend. "You two are doing sentry duty today."

"Sorry. I'm usually the one to do the job." The ground type sent the purple 'mon a guilty and sympathetic look before continuing. "But today, my dad gave me his duty of updating the boards."

"So it was your dad who smacked me in my freaking head before?!" Ash questioned, "I think I lost a couple of brain cells because of that!"

Gary scoffed. "You're basically in the negatives now."

"Yeah – wait… Hey!"

"I'm sure he's sorry!" Diglett apologized, shifting uncomfortably in the floor. "But anyway, that's why I figured that you two could man my post today. Do a good job…please? See you guys." Diglett then disappeared into the ground.

"…And that's that," Loudred said solemnly, like the world was going to end any second.

Ash frowned in confusion. "What? You're not gonna tell us-"

"It's probably self-explanatory." The eevee pushed the mouse close to the opening. "Ladies first!"

Ketchum yelped at the unexpected shove, frantically grabbing at the thick vine that led down into the darkness. "It least I've never been called one!" he retorted heatedly.

When Ash had crawled down enough, Gary joined him, 'accidentally' kicking other's forehead in the process. "If you mention that again, I'll make sure that you'll get turned into one!"

"Always with the low blows, man!"

"It's the only way to get you to shut up."

Their conversation lulled then as they focused on climbing down and not breaking an ankle. When they reached the bottom of the vine, it was pitch black. Gary started to wonder if this job was really worth it, but then he remembered all of the fucked-up shit he could possibly make Loudred to. Totally worth it.

"I can't see anything!"

"Really? What a surprise. Just feel your way!"

"Ugh…I feel claustrophobic."

"If you start freaking out down here, I swear…" Gary trailed off when his muzzle hit something, and a foul odor had his nose burn. "What-? Get your ass out of my face!"

"Get your face outta my ass! I don't know about you, but I'm not into that kind of crap!"

"And I am?!"

"I dunno Gary. Sometimes you leave me gues-"

"Just go!"

"Wait a sec! There's a rock I gotta push – There!"

Gary grumbled lowly as they tunneled a little further, replacing his plans for Loudred with plans for Ash.

"I see light!"

"It's about damn time." Oak indeed could tell that their surroundings were getting brighter. It wasn't long after that when they encountered a dead end. However, they had more room to move around, and the sun's rays shone down from above. Gary stared at the grate covering the hole above. "We stood on that, didn't we?"

"Yeah!" Ash replied, squinting against the bright light. "Can you go blind doing this? Because I think you can go blind doing this."

"HOW'S IT GOING?" Loudred's loud voice reverberated through the tunnel. "Are you in position yet?"

"I think so! Hurry up and get this over with!" Gary shouted out, already tired of all this stupid dirt.

"Here comes a pokémon! Identify them by their footprint!"

Gary glanced over to Ash. "Is that even possible?"

"I mean, Diglett knew who we were right? So it can be done! Oh look! A footprint!"

Gary lifted his chin and examined the print up above. It looked like a human's foot, it had three toes, and it was very lightly colored. Yep. He had no freaking clue what the 'mon was.

"Ooo ooo!" Ash patted his forehead as he thought. "It's on the tip of my tongue!" He then snapped his fingers. "It's a monferno!"

"Monferno?" Loudred asked, "Let me see! …You're right!"

"Awesome!" The pikachu fist bumped the air, jumping up and down. "Heck yeah!"

"Congrats." Gary couldn't help but to be sarcastic. He was the researcher here, and he couldn't identify one of the starters? Fucking hell.

"Here comes another one!" Ash pointed out. This footstep was a simple paw, but it was so common by this point that if someone didn't know what it was, then they needed some mental help.

"It's a lucario!" Gary called out this time, and Loudred confirmed his guess. When Ash looked a bit put-out, an idea popped into his mind. "Let's make things a bit more interesting, huh Ketchum?" He immediately had the electric type's attention. "Whoever guesses the most right…gets the other's share of dinner."

"You're on!" Ash held out a hand, and Gary shook it to the best of his ability. "So it's one to one right now? Let's change that! Loudred, it's a beldum!"

"What?!" Gary snapped his neck up just in time before the steel type moved out of sight. "How-?"

The pikachu chuckled. "One glance is all I need! Do better, Oak!"

Better? Oh Gary could do better. The eevee lunged at his partner, sending Ash to the ground. The researcher struggled to keep him still as he watched the next foot show itself. It was green and round and small. This was another starter. "It's a chikorita!"

Gary laughed victoriously when his answer was confirmed, "Suck it, Ash!" until he was bucked off the squirming electric type.

"Oh you want to play dirty?" Ash quickly stood up, wiped the dust off his face, and launched himself at Oak. "We can play dirty!"

The eevee attempted to escape the other's grasp, but he only had so much room to run. He yelled out in shock when Ash jumped onto his back, making his legs fail. His voice was then muffled when the mouse covered his mouth with his hand. Gary had full view of the footprint, and he knew exactly what it was, but all that exited his mouth was nonsense.

"It belongs to a quilava!" Gary growled at Ketchum's right response before maneuvering his teeth around one of the mouse's stubby fingers. He harshly bit down, and Ash squealed. "Ah fuck! Stop biting me, Gary!" The rodent got off of the eevee to pull, and he let go in time so that the pikachu would stumble backwards.

While the other regained his balance, Oak – determined as all hell – refocused on the grate and his brow creased at what he saw. It was just a blue rectangle. He wracked his brain for an answer, but he was drawing blanks.

It seemed like Ash was struggling as well, and that was good news to him. He had to keep the electric type distracted. Gary silently snickered before turning his back to Ketchum and kicking his legs, sending dirt right into his rival's eyes. "Eat my dust, moron!"

Ash cried out in surprise and pain, scrubbing at his eyelids. "Y-You dick!" As he frantically wiped his face, Gary tried and failed to mentally name the fucker standing up on the grill. Apparently he was too focused on that, because he didn't see the electricity flying his way until it was too late.

The evolution pokémon bit his lip as he endured the pain, fighting to keep his limbs working. Once they stood strong, Gary tackled Ash, aiming at the other's stomach. Ketchum coughed when his back smacked against the wall, sliding down to the ground.

The two were panting as they glared at each other, both refusing to lose.

"Uh…are you two okay down there?"

Gary and Ash both trained their gazes upward at the grate. The voice came from there. A lightbulb flashed in Oak's mind. "Instead of worrying about us, answer a question for me. What species of pokémon are you?"

Ketchum's eyes went wide. "No! No don't answer tha-"

"I'm a porygon."

"Porygon!" Gary quickly shouted out, and surprise surprise, he was right.

"Th-That's cheating!" Ash pointed an accusatory finger at him. "You can't do that! That's not fair!"

"There's no rulebook, Ashy." Gary was smug, but then his grin faded when Loudred called them back up. "Dammit! Really?"

"It's a tie then?" The pikachu puffed out his cheeks. "I should've won that!"

"Should've. Could've. Would've. Stop fucking whining. Let's head back up."

"Just damn you, Oak."

When the duo reached the surface, they noticed that Chatot had made an unfortunate surprise visit.

Gary's mood dropped even lower at the sight of Polly, audibly groaning. "The hell do you want, Birdbrain?"

Loudred crossed his arms, a vein pulsing in his forehead. "He's here to give you your REWARDS!"

Before Gary could curse the bastard out for yelling in his sensitive ears, Ash spoke up. "What my partner meant to say was 'Oh Chatot! What can we do for you this fine day?'"

Chatot gave Oak a pointed look. "At least someone is making a decent effort to be respectful! I'm here to relay your results!" His expression relaxed somewhat. "They were completely perfect. Very well done."

"What do we get? What do we get?" Ash asked enthusiastically.

"For your efforts, you will receive five hundred poké, a joy seed, a ginseng, and a life seed!"

The pikachu went to collect the spoils, and Gary grunted. "Fucking finally." He ignored Chatot's violent twitch. "We get some money we can do something with."

"But what does the other stuff do?" Ash questioned as he zipped up the backpack.

Polly cleared his throat. "The joy seed increases your strength, the life seed increases your stamina, and the ginseng increases the power of one of your moves."

"Oh…cool!" The mouse turned to Gary. "Wanna try those out in a dungeon?"

"I'd rather just take a nap."

"But I want to go on an adventure!"

"Then you can face the unforgiving wilderness alone, where you can fight all the geodude until your heart's content."

"…Yeah, a nap sounds amazing right now."