This story was written by Denise Cameron. I am posting it because there is no other easily available website that this story can be read on. If the author of this story wishes to talk to me about the posting of it, contact me using the email in my profile.

Part 1: The Eternally Lost Boy

Chapter 1: The Order of Things

"You never say what you feel.
Love can't go on with just one.
Sayanora my heart!
I want you back in my arms." - Equal Romance, Ranma 1/2

Akane Tendo felt heavy-hearted as she walked home from school. It was a beautiful day, yet her eyes were focused on the ground. It had been a long week, and half of it had been spent in an emotional whirlwind. She had almost been married to Ranma Saotome, her fiance of two years. Or at least, her fiance in name. When had they started feeling as though they really were engaged? Or had they? Akane's knuckles turned white from gripping on her schoolbag, and she resisted the urge to fix the hair that was being flipped around by the light breeze. Her long, blue school dress and white shirt were being ruffled as well.

Over and over in her mind she played back that moment when Ranma had said he loved her. It was soon followed by the memory of his hesitation, even after seeing her in the wedding dress. She knew she had been jumping the gun when she had finally agreed to go along with her father's plans. She knew it, in her gut, but still played her role. A girl could dream, couldn't she? It wasn't like all was lost either, and yet, she couldn't help feel as though they were back at square one.

"Idiot," she said under her breath, giving an innocent rock a fierce kick. It skittered away, but to her surprise came right back and bounced off of her toe lightly. Looking up, she couldn't decide whether to smile or scowl at the figure that stood before her.

"Hey," said a casual voice. It was always casual, Ranma's voice, which could be either comforting or maddening. After deciding that she didn't want to be teased just then, she continued walking towards him, face passive. She planned to just casually greet him back, then continue on her way, and hopefully he'd continue on his way as well. He would, wouldn't he? He wouldn't linger? If he lingered, he'd tease her as he always did, and though punching him would feel good she just wasn't in the mood.

The figure in front of her was a handsome boy with long black hair, styled in a pigtail at the nape of his neck. His eyes were a dark blue, and he wore a red Chinese style shirt with black pants. A handsome boy certainly, in a mischievous, childish way. His posture spoke of great confidence, and laid back expression of his current ease in walking, without an obvious care in the world.

"Hi," she replied. The boy, Ranma, turned about face and began walking along with her, about half a pace in front and to the side. They normally walked home from school, but for the past couple of days Ranma had been taking off early. She often wondered where he went to, but told herself it was none of her business. They may be engaged, but she didn't own him. And she definitely didn't want to start acting like she did.

Looking out of the corner of her grey eyes, she noticed a small tear on Ranma's shirt. Tilting her head to one side, she raised her eyes to Ranma's face questioningly. He didn't usually get tears in his clothing from just walking around. Had he been fighting? The latter noticed her curious gaze, and returned it with interest.

"Somethin' on your mind?" he asked, walking with his hands behind his head, elbows stretched out. His walk sometimes reminded her of a strutting rooster, but she never mentioned this. Not yet, at least.

"You have a rip in your shirt."

She averted her eyes to be in front of her instead of looking at him. Ranma looked down, squinted at his shirt, and immediately put his arms down to cover it.

"What about it?"

"I can't be concerned? Honestly, Ranma. You don't seem to be hurt, anyway."

He wasn't hurt. Even if he had been in a fight, he wasn't hurt, so the tear in his shirt wasn't a problem. Satisfied, she dropped the issue, still feeling a small urge to be alone. But Ranma kept the pace, and shook his head.

"I'm fine, it's no big deal."

Akane nodded, and they continued to walk along in silence. An awkward silence, that wanted to say more, but didn't. Why was he still following her? Couldn't he feel her aura pushing him away?

Auras don't quite work like that..., she reminded herself, holding back a scowl. Well, Ranma appeared there to stay for a while. She may as well get used to it, and accept the company of her fiancé.

There weren't many people walking around them at this point. There was a large fence, on the other side of Ranma, with water below it. On the other side of Akane was the street, lacking in cars as usual. People used their own feet or bicycles more then anything else to get by in their town, which made for rather quiet streets. Most of the time, anyway. The sound of children playing became more apparent as they were approaching a nursery.

"So what about you?" asked Ranma, kicking a stone out of the way. It landed several meters ahead of them.

"Huh?"

Oh great, he noticed. Can't get much by him, anymore. In a way, she was relieved that he was asking about her. It was something that they did have to talk about. But why right now? She knew she didn't have to precisely tell him, just because he asked. His engagement to her wasn't a full access pass to her mind and thoughts, after all. Looking up at his face, though, she thought she did see a spark of interest. And was that concern? On Ranma's face? It intrigued her just enough to drop her defenses, barely, and continue.

"I was just thinking. About what my father said." Her face warmed slightly, and she hoped she wasn't blushing.

"About...oh. Right, yeah. Have you, uhh...?"

"No! Not yet, anyway. I was, uhh...well, I didn't see Gosunguki today, and I want to start small, before going to Kuno. Are you really sure he's that serious about me? Seems fairly innocent." All images of Gosunkugi, the shy, loner classmate, were only brief ones of him in class. Passive memories, where nothing happened and he didn't even speak to her. But he had before, hadn't he? Maybe he had tried, and she had unintentionally blown him off. She hoped that wasn't the case; she didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings, and certainly not someone who seemed as innocent as Gosunkugi.

"Believe me, 'kane, he has it for ya. Bad. And with that type of guy, if he can get even somethin' as small as a smile from you...he'll sink his hooks in, and never let go. Ya need to tell him bluntly, and tell 'im fast." The tone of his voice sounded as though he were talking about a game, and not breaking someone's heart.

"I will, I will. You don't have to tell me that."

"You asked."

"I know I asked!" said Akane, perhaps louder then she intended. Ranma looked at her out of the corner of his eye, then stopped. The object of his attention kept walking on for a pace, then stopped as Ranma firmly grabbed her wrist. She swallowed, feeling the knot of wanting to be alone spasm. The feel of Ranma grabbing her wasn't an intimate touch, though; it was a normal touch. A necessary one, in his mind no doubt. So she allowed it, though wondered at it still. Had she been too harsh? But he had annoyed her. Her tone was justified. Wasn't it?

"Akane." His voice was rough, but commanding enough that Akane let him keep her in place, narrowing her eyes. Yes, she had probably been too harsh just then. Not that his feelings seemed hurt. Why was he stopping her? He never ended fights like this, by physically blocking her way and without retort.

"What?" They stood for a moment, looking at each other, then Ranma suddenly noticed he was still holding her wrist. He let it go, then smirked. Any spell of confusion that had come over Akane was broken; this was normal Ranma. Whatever he had been about to do, it was gone now, and she felt her insides settle with that knowledge. Once more she let herself sink into her worries and concerns, and once more she just wanted to be alone.

"C'mon, you take everything so seriously. You gotta lighten up."

"But this is serious! Don't you think, at all?" Ranma said nothing, and soon she put her head down. He's got to take it seriously...take me seriously...or else...or else...

"Have you talked to anyone yet?" Ranma's smirk turned into a frown.

"Still workin' on it. I'm coming up with a plan to tell Shampoo; may as well break it to the most violent one first. You have it easy, Akane. At least the guys don't practically try to kill you."

They began walking again, towards the Tendo house. At least, that's where Akane was going. Wasn't Ranma going somewhere else just now?

"Oh, I'm sure Kuno could get pretty close to that by accident. If I let him," she commented, a flash of the sword totting Casanova coming to her mind unbidden.

"Yeah, but what about-" began Ranma, before he stopped himself, and also stopped in his tracks. Akane turned to one side to face him. There wasn't anyone else, was there? Of course there couldn't be anyone else. He couldn't possibly mean the general student body of males, either. They had long ago stopped pursuing her; they knew their places. Unless there was another one, like Gosunkugi, who Ranma had deemed a threat.

"What about who?" Immediately she recognized his guilty face, and fixed him a stare. She had been told more then once that her gaze could really penetrate sometimes, and Ranma lowered his eyes. For a moment. He was hiding something! She was sure of it. Right there, in the corner of his eyes. Bouncing off of his aura. She felt her anger well up as she scowled at him, wondering what it was he was hiding.

"Nothing, I just forgot somethin'. I was actually on my way to meet Ryoga." Digging around in his pants pockets, he soon found a paper, straightened it, and presented it for Akane's scrutiny. This wasn't what he had been hiding. It couldn't be...but when she shot him a look, the guiltiness had faded. Slightly. Frowning and feeling as though she had been played the fool, she checked over the paper, reading it carefully.

"A challenge? For what?" She remembered Ryoga being upset about something at the wedding, but Ranma wouldn't tell her what it was about. It had been the last time she had seen him, and she had assumed he had gone on a journey again. Or at least, tried to. Ryoga often seemed to get lost, going on journeys.

"Dunno. But uhh...why don'tcha head home, Akane? It shouldn't take long. Ryoga probably won't even be there, the challenge is only four days old," he said, starting to back up in the direction Akane had come from. She felt torn. Here he was, finally letting her be alone again, but now he had filled her mind with pieces of information. Another suitor? Maybe? Yes, no? A battle with Ryoga? Why, what for? She stiffened, trying to decide which path to take.

"Are you sure? I have time, I can watch." She took a step towards him, and Ranma half turned.

"No, go home, okay? You'll just be in the way."

"Why you! Jerk! Here I am concerned, and you say THAT to me?"

That settled it. If she had to be in the company of her fiancé for one more moment, he would be sitting in the ditch she knew was on the other side of the gate, sputtering dirty water and sporting a red hairdo.

"We gotta study for exams right? Go home, and get started. I know you want to, you keep talking about it. I'll join you later. Bye!" With a quick, odd bow, Ranma was off again.

"But..." Akane took another step towards him, the internal fire fading with his footsteps. She sighed, and shook her head. Why does he always have to do that? Despite the insults, he was partially right. It was just Ryoga, too, no sense in her being there if she had to study. Him and Ryoga were friends. The super-strong boy wouldn't really hurt Ranma. At least, not anymore.

The breeze followed her as she headed back home.

Ranma had a good point about the exams, too. She was surprised he had mentioned those; he wasn't very eager about the whole process, from studying, to taking the exams themselves. They were in their final year of high school, and this would be the hardest thing thrown at them yet. Although part of her wanted to run after Ranma for various, conflicting reasons, another part made herself go back home. The stronger part. The logical part, she liked to think. Without another glance back, she straightened her posture and headed home.

Ranma Saotome jumped on to the thin railing, running on it a few paces before jumping up to the top of a cart, then moving back to a low stone wall and running on that. He always liked being in high places; he could see more, and train. Ranma's life so far had been one long, never-ending training session, and he had never thought to do otherwise.

With a leap and a small grunt, he cleared a space between gates then tumbled to the ground, continuing at a slower jog. Turning around, he checked for his fiancee and sighed with relief when he didn't see her behind him.

Sorry, Akane, but I need to do this alone. Turning around, he kept up his pace to his destination. The challenge from Ryoga was technically true, but Akane had obviously not noticed the lack of a date on the challenge. It was really an old one that he had found laying around his room, and he had brought it today to use in case Akane wondered why he was running off to meet Ryoga. The latter was camped out in one of the parks in the town, and Ranma had told him to stay there so he could find him. He needed to have a talk with the pig-boy, despite his better judgement.

It had been a close call, when he was talking with Akane. She didn't know yet that she really had three suitors, not just two. It amazed him how she could not see what was before her eyes, but that's how it was. Ryoga was much too shy to confess his love, despite repeated attempts. Instead, he'd cuddle with Akane as P-chan, hiding behind his curse. Little did she know that if she ever added hot water to P-chan, she'd end up with Ryoga. A nude Ryoga, at that. All the more reason to keep her from finding out that way, in his mind at least.

When he arrived at the park, he saw a tree with a tire swing, an iron-made playground with swings, a slide, and a see-saw all on sand. There were a few kids scattered about, and a small group playing tag to one side. Over by the trees, not too far from the tireswing, was an orange tent. Ryoga's tent, he reasoned. Jogging up to it, he stood in front of the doorway and tapped on it to make the fabric bulge inwardly. Immediately, he heard shuffling from within.

"Hey, Ryoga," he said, standing up and waiting. Soon, the zipper opened, and Ranma could see a head of black hair, half tamed by a yellow and black bandanna. Letting himself in, Ranma slid into the tent then closed the entranceway behind him. This was a very familiar process, to him. For almost two years now, since Ryoga had been back in his life, they had a friendly rivalry going. Sometimes he hated him, other times he just wanted a sparring partner. For the most part, he did like Ryoga, despite certain emotional difficulties he had. Especially when it came to Akane.

The tent was fairly small and had a large blanket on the ground. To one side was Ryoga's sleeping roll and a pillow, as well as a pack, his umbrella, and other items. Ryoga wore a yellow shirt and black pants, with laced up brown boots. He gave Ranma a nonchalant look, and poured some hot tea from a kettle into two cups. After handing one to Ranma, he sipped from his own. Steam from the cup moistened his face, and he balanced it on his knee when he was done.

"Ranma," he said, nodding in acknowledgment. His face was expressionless, maybe thoughtful if anything. Ranma had a few quick sips of his tea, then looked at Ryoga. It was time to get down to business. He wasn't sure how easy it would be; would he have to drag Ryoga outside and beat the sense into him? He hoped he didn't have to. Just the thought of what he was doing alone felt foreign; the quicker he could get in, say his piece, and get out, the better. His only worry was that Ryoga would be his stubborn self, and not listen to reason.

"I think ya know why I'm here."

Ryoga put his head down, looking at his cup. Definitely a stubborn look. But Ranma held firm to his plan of action.

"Yeah, I think I do." He blinked once, his brown eyes looking downtrodden. Ranma leaned forward, focusing on those eyes. Damn right you think you do...

"You have to tell her. Enough beatin' around the bush."

"I don't have to tell her...and why should I, really? It would only be so she could reject me. For you." It appeared as though Ryoga may crush his cup, but it managed to stay intact. For now. Smirking, Ranma raised a hand as though to brush away his comment. He was taking the stubborn route, was he? Not with Ranma Saotome there. Sure, he had done it before, and been near successful. But this time would be different. Even if he did have to drag Ryoga out of the tent and beat him into submission.

First though, Ranma had his trump card. Akari. One thing he hadn't had before, all those times Ranma had tried to get him to stay away from Akane.

"So? You have Akari now! Come on, isn't she good enough for ya? Face it, Akane is just..." Ranma's tongue wouldn't let him get out the last words, and became a fat, foreign organism in his mouth.

Why do I always have trouble saying it? Ranma shook his head, as though to make the words obey him and come out as they should. It didn't matter. The point was to push Ryoga over to Akari, not bring in his feelings about Akane. A sinking sensation in his stomach told him he had messed up, and the anger suddenly present in Ryoga's posture only confirmed that. Moron, he still loves Akane more then Akari...that idiot...

"Yours? I know. And yet, you can't say it anymore. When you thought Akane was going to die, you yelled it. You practically roared, "I love you, Akane!" It echoed off the walls of the cave, you know." Ryoga looked at Ranma smugly as his battle aura prickled. This was not the time for that. They were supposed to be discussing Ryoga's feelings for Akane, not Ranma's. Especially since Ranma wasn't even completely sure himself how he felt about his own fiancee.

"So you've said." That memory was still fuzzy, but Ryoga wasn't the only one to insist it had been said. He did love Akane. Didn't he? But he had been so scared that day, so incredibly panicked, he wasn't even sure still if the word love had come from his mouth in relief at seeing Akane alive, or not. If he actually had the feelings to back it up.

"You don't really love her?" Ranma looked as though he were going to be angry, but then a mischievous glint appeared in his eyes. So Ryoga wanted a confession, did he? Wanted to play with Ranma? Well he had picked the wrong person to challenge. Accepting, Ranma forced his own sea of feelings aside, concentrating on Ryoga. He was going to frustrate that boy into submission if he had to, and then Ranma would get the topic back to where it was supposed to be, and make Ryoga give up on Akane. Piece of cake.

"Feh. Does it matter?" Ryoga rolled his eyes.

"Still...you know this isn't going to be easy."

Ranma breathed a sigh of relief, though the part of him that childishly wanted to play with Ryoga's feelings was disappointed. He had stopped fighting, for some reason. Maybe he had sensed what was coming, and backed down before it was too late. Rare for Ryoga, but if depressed enough, it did happen.

"Hey, I know. But ya gotta do it. Simple as that. You could do it tonight, Akane should be home by now, and we're gonna be studying. Perfect chance. Just show up, and I'll make sure you can get some time with her." And I can get a break from studying! Excellent plan. Ryoga shifted his position uncomfortably, as though he had just noticed that he was sitting on pointy rocks.

"Then you get her for the rest of the night. Heh. Sounds fair."

"We're just gonna be studyin', anyway," said Ranma, standing up and feeling accomplished. The first part was done. Although he noted that Ryoga hadn't exactly said yes. He would do it though. A no hadn't been heard either. He had to do it. As he was about to leave, Ryoga cleared his throat.

"Hey, you guys haven't..." Ranma turned around and crouched to be eye level with Ryoga.

"Haven't what?"

"You know...kissed? I mean..." Ranma tilted his head, fighting off a prickly, warm feeling at the thought. He's such a masochist sometimes...he's not going to like any answer I give him. One way, and he'll think I'm wasting her. Another way, and he'll be depressed again.

"What, that uncute tomboy? You gotta be kidding me." Then he unzipped the tent, jumped out, and zipped it back up. He was sure he heard the sound of a cup crumbling as he left.

As soon as Ranma vacated the tent, a short figure standing by the swing tree raised her head. She wore a plain orange dress, and her hair was short and cropped, her bangs partially over her eyes.

"Ranma, you idiot," said Nabiki Tendo under her breath. Once Akane's older sister saw that Ranma was gone, and had not paid an ounce of attention to her, she made her way out of the park.

She had suspected for the longest time that Ryoga liked Akane. To the point of wanting to tell Akane almost...almost. For a price, she would have. But she did care for Akane still, and she didn't see the need to have Ryoga forced to confess his love, then be tossed aside. It would be hard on both of them, for him to confess. Despite how obvious he had been about it in the past. Painfully obvious. Nabiki shook her head. She doesn't see half what I do. With a slight swaying motion to her hips, she calmly made her way out of the park. Although she hadn't decided yet to tell Akane what was going on, she thought she should talk to Ranma. Looking up, she tried to see if he was still visible from where she was. A hint of a red shirt could be seen, but she wasn't positive it was him. He was too far away for her to catch up to him, anyway.

No need to rush, now, she reprimanded herself. I need a plan, first. Ryoga will probably come tonight, but I doubt he will actually confess. Not that easily, and not after those lovely closing words of Ranma's. He needs to have something good come of this. Hmm.

Turning on her heel, Nabiki headed back to Ryoga's tent, mentally making up the script to be used on Ryoga.

Reaching out, Akane tilted the clock on the dresser, then put it back into place as she took in what time it was. Five o'clock already. Supper would be coming up soon, and she had already been at the books for a good hour. Although she didn't want to admit it, she was getting bored with the material she was studying. Math wasn't bad, and neither was chemistry, but she hated languages. I'd probably like them more if English wasn't so complicated.

Picking up the cup of tea from her desk, she sipped it to soothe her growling stomach. She hadn't eaten supper with her family, not tonight, not all week. Instead, Kasumi would bring up a tray of food so she could study and not have to waste time being distracted downstairs. Ironically, this just turned into her being hungry upstairs, begging for a distraction.

She needed Ranma there, to teach him. Somehow, she managed to learn more when she was trying to show someone else how to do something. Even Ryoga would do; she had tutored him before, though that had been short lived.

Ranma's notes were piled neatly on one corner of the desk, waiting for him to get back and use them. Usually, they just used Akane's notes, since she was more likely to stay awake in class and take them. But she still wanted Ranma to take his own notes; she couldn't do everything, anyway, and she didn't want Ranma to think she was tutoring him solely for his benefit.

Hearing the sound of shuffling in the hallway, she leaned back in her chair to glance at her door. It was closed, and she fixed her gaze on the knob, waiting for it to turn and for someone to come into the room. Ranma would knock, wouldn't he? She found herself not being able to remember, but hoped he would have the sense to knock.

Soon she did hear a knock, but it wasn't the sort of knock Ranma would do. It was slow and soft, accompanied by a matching voice.

"Akane, may I come in?" called her eldest sister, Kasumi. Getting up, Akane walked over to the door and opened it. Kasumi stood there, wearing a white apron over her yellow dress. Her long brown hair was tied in a ponytail, and she wore a pleasant smile. In her hands she held a tray with dishes of food on it.

"Thanks, Kasumi," she said, trying to hide how hungry she was. Quickly, she took the tray and walked into the room to set it on the desk.

"Is the studying going well?" Kasumi asked.

"Oh, umm, not bad. It's really easy, don't worry." She lifted the cover on a dish of curried pork, and took her chopsticks in hand to sample a bite. "This is really good Kasumi, I appreciate it," said Akane, turning back to her older sister. Kasumi just smiled, and nodded.

"I'm glad that you like it. I kept Ranma's to one side downstairs. Make sure that you tell him to get it in the kitchen when he returns, please. I have an errand to run," said Kasumi, turning to the door.

"Sure. He shouldn't be long...I think," said Akane, looking back to the food. I hope he isn't long...that idiot, where is he anyway? Still fighting? She didn't hear Kasumi begin to close the door, then open it again enough to allow her to look at her younger sister.

"He will be here, Akane. He always comes back to you; he's your fiancé," she said, in her ever hopeful voice. Akane put on an agreeable expression as she looked at her. It wasn't exactly a comforting phrase. What did him being her fiancé matter? He had been her fiancé for two years, and many times in that period he had been a jerk, or late, or missing, or plain blowing her off. But that was not what Kasumi wanted to hear. And if she did not say what Kasumi wanted to hear, her eldest sister would pursue, encourage, try and lift her spirits. She didn't want her spirits lifted. She wanted Ranma where he was supposed to be, and wanted to stop worrying over the idiot in the meantime.

"I know."

Kasumi's head bobbed, satisfied, and then she exited the room. Slowly, Akane eased herself back into her chair, and began eating. Having something in her stomach managed to help her concentration, at least, but her food managed to disappear rather fast. She was disappointed when she saw that the last of the curry was gone.

Getting up, she picked up the tray and walked over to her door to have a peek at the hallway, but saw no one at either end. As was routine, she put the tray down to one side against the wall to be taken downstairs when she thought of it next. Taking one last look out into the hall, she frowned at it's feeling of emptiness.

Where is everyone? Kasumi was out on that errand, and Nabiki hadn't been home yet when she had entered. The sound of water running could be heard from the bathroom, maybe that was Nabiki. Had her father and Mr. Saotome been home? She thought she had heard them playing Go, but they were out on the porch for that usually. She had no clue about Happosai, but it wasn't odd for him to not be around when it wasn't specifically mealtime. It left the house awfully quiet, and she soon shut herself back into the room, leaving the quiet out.

At least, that was the plan. When she sat back down, it seemed that the silence was still with her. Deafening silence. Her muscles complained about sitting down as well; when was the last time she had exercised, anyway? Surely, she had done enough studying. A part of her felt bad for wanting to leave the studying before Ranma got home. He HAD said he'd join her...but he wasn't home yet. He was out, and besides, he had been a jerk to her before leaving her to walk home alone. She'd go to the dojo, just for a while. One quick run through, then come back.

She was out the door and halfway to the dojo before she realized she had started changing into her gi before even deciding it was okay for her to abandon her work.