A/N: YO!

HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY!

Although I'm not in America at the moment, I still wanted to say it!

I'm alive! Had some serious health problems-not to mention taking up a second job-but I'm back. Ah, I wish I had more time to write for you all! But life has been keeping me terribly busy and I haven't been able to update what I want as consistently as I could. Working two jobs SUCKS. Not only does it leave you grumpy and tired, but I have at most a few hours to myself a week now, and that's if I'm lucky. Don't worry, I'm not giving up by any means, its just hampered my writing time severely.

And for that, I apologize.

On another note, I'm trying a slightly different perspective for this chapter, primarily being told from the girl(s) point of view. Hope you all like it! And if not, well, its just for this chapter. Also, another bit. Thinking I might upgrade this story to M-rated soon. Why, you ask? Well...you'll soon see. I agonized over writing this for the longest time because I hate, hate, HATE writing sad chapters, but let's face it here guys and gals; the hero can't win all the time.

Sometimes they make a mistake.

Sometimes they just break.

Sometimes they'll lose.

Sometimes they fall.

And a warning!

SAD MOMENT INCOMING!

You have been warned!

Sorry if its short!

"Sometimes you need to hurt in order to know,

You need to fall in order to grow,

Lose in order to gain,

Because the greatest lessons in life are learned through PAIN".

~?

Rusted Shadow

I understand.

I understand everything now.

Really, how could I have been so blind?

Me?

A hero?

Ha!

I'm no hero. Never have been. Never will be. I'm just some fool. Honestly, what was I thinking? Trapped in this game, I deluded myself into thinking I could be something I'm not. I thought I could have happiness. That my life-my immortality-could have real meaning. I thought I could have hope. A family. I thought I could be that hero. I was wrong. A hero would save everyone. A hero. Me? No. I'm not worthy of that title. I see that now. I was a fool to think I could protect everyone and emerge unscathed.

Don't look at me like that!

I tried! I really fucking tried! I tried to be the good guy, I tried playing by the rules! And what did that get me, I ask you, hmm?! What, I ask you?! Nothing! A big fat zero! Fuck all! Why should I for that matter?! Why lift a finger for the masses when they'd sooner turn on me for petty reasons, for jealousy and hate, for wrath and spite for death and DISCORD...!

Don't you understand?!

THEY! ARE! DEAD!

BECAUSE OF ME!

TWO OF THEM!

GONE!

The moment I fell to Kuradeel's insipid plot, I killed them, as surely as if I'd stabbed them myself! And for what? Misguided mercy! Stupidity! My own naive ideals! Because I thought I was better than everyone else, that no one could touch me, that none would ever turn on me. My pride killed them. Now there's no bringing 'em back. No do-overs, no reset button. Nothing. No amount of power can ever make this right again. I lost more than just a friend. Someone I cherished died today and it makes me feel hollow inside. Now I have to stumble home and tell everyone what happened. I can already feel the guild's-and their-accusing eyes on me; their stares boring into my very soul.

I can't.

I can't do it.

I can't do this.

I can't take it anymore. This is going to be my last entry. Better to just switch my feelings off than accept this pain. I'd rather be numb. I'm cursed. I see that now. Its been that way since the war. Whenever I find love I will inevitably lose it. Whomever gets close to me will inevitably meet the same fate. Still, I wanted to believe...no. There's no point in trying to change the past. If Akihiko Kayaba wants this world so badly, he can do what he wants with it. Someone else can conquer the floors.

I'm done being the hero, done with everything.

Do you hear me? No more! I...

...give up?

Is that what I want?

Even here, now, empty as I am, I feel something.

Anger?

No, not anger.

Wrath.

I'm going to find him.

And then...

...AND THEN...

I'M GOING TO KILL HIM.

(...The First Floor of Aincrad...)

Asuna finally found him three days later.

Merely tracking nearly proved a daunting task by itself. It was impossible to understand even if one looked at it objectively; Naruto hadn't just retreated from the front lines. He'd simply vanished altogether; abandoning all the progress they'd made without so much as a word or a goodbye. Messages would reach him-those that did were left unread. He effectively cut all ties without any explanation. She'd not have found him at all if he hadn't made a mistake. By a stroke of luck, he'd forgotten to delete his friend's list, and it was by luck alone that she chanced upon him in a field on the first floor.

It wasn't fair.

Not at all.

"Look, I guess what I'm trying to say is...gah," Shaking his head he straightened and reached into his inventory. "I almost lost you today. I couldn't bear the thought of that." Anxiety broiled like a hot flame deep in his stomach. Despite all his years, this was one of the few things that never got easier, even with time. "So...I wanted to ask...and I know its kinda sudden but...

...but?"

Then he dropped to a knee.

"Will you marry me?"

She'd wanted an ending like that! Dreamed of it, even!

Instead she found herself here, force to hunt.

She knew it in the moment she saw him.

One couldn't physically change their appearance in Sword Art Online beyond equipment and minor cosmetics, but even so, Asuna barely recognized him and found herself looking twice to be certain. For Naruto had discarded his bright-colored armor in favor of a dark cloak and red robes the color of old blood. If that had been the extent of the changes, she wouldn't have been worried. Despite sitting, he seemed to sway as she looked at him. It took her a handful of seconds to realize he wasn't moving at all, rather, that it was the air itself. It twisted and writhed like a living thing, an almost mournful note filling the cloud-laden sky overhead.

Almost as if it were trying to get away from him.

'What in the world?'

Caramel orbs turned to the field, once a lush and green paradise, now barren and dry. Then they fell upon the blond. Life-and-death aside, this was just a game. This world was made up of pixels and data. He couldn't possibly have done this without some outside assistance. Could he...? Perhaps, had she any idea who she was dealing with, she would have believed in such a thing. He looked so vulnerable-defenseless really-blissfully unaware of his surroundings or the danger they posed. The countless weapons scattered around him told a different tale; clearly someone, or rather, several someones had found him and attempted just that.

They'd failed, obviously.

And he'd cut them apart like wheat from chaff.

The closer she drew the more frightened she became.

Magic didn't exist in the world of SAO, even energy-reliant skills such with chakra were few and far between. Whatever he was using defied even that. This was no mere skill; Naruto was clearly surpassing the rules of the system itself, as though he were affecting the server through sheer emotion alone. That was impossible of course. They might be trapped inside the game, but there were limits. Rules. Reality. Yet she could clearly see the pixels peeling back from the air around them, feel the heat warm against her face. There was something wrong, here. Terribly, horribly wrong.

"Naruto...?"

He didn't respond when she called out to him.

Didn't recognize her.

Didn't speak to her.

Didn't even blink.

Worse, he'd become horribly pale, seemingly little more than a broken scarecrow ready to be swept away by the whims of the wind at any moment. Eyes that had once burned with fire and determination seemed hollow now; as though someone had reached deep inside him and snuffed out their light. As if he were staring into empty space, seeing nothing, yet everything at once. The intensity of his gaze sharp enough to cut. There was something inherently terrifying about that vacant expression. Tentatively, she inched out a hand to touch his face, cupping his cheek...

"You shouldn't be here, Asuna."

"Eeep!"

The suddenness of the statement -its calm, placid tone- startled Asuna badly, causing the poor brunette to jerk her body away and accidentally topple backward. A strong arm snaked out immediately, catching her before she could fall, holding her close. Her heart skipped a frantic beat and her cheeks grew uncomfortably warm as he held her. Her mind didn't fare much better, she was left reeling clamoring for a foothold and finding none. In the end she settled for splaying her hands against his chest, gaining a few inches from her captor. A burst of yellow flashed through her vision.

"Naruto?"

It was, she realized with a small start, followed by the curious absence of relief. Those empty blue eyes had regained a hint of life that hadn't been there before, and now they were fixed firmly upon her. His hands were warm and steady, firm, without clutching at her or prying. By all rights, she should have been relieved. So why did she feel so afraid?

His words caught up with her a moment later.

"Shouldn't be here?! What's that about?!" Indignant, she righted herself and wriggled free from his arms, shooting the silent blond a burning glare. "Do you have any idea how worried the others are? We've been trying find you three days, now! Do you have any idea how concerned everyone is?! Sachi's been worried sick! And I...you're not going to answer me, are you?"

His expression proved telling.

"What are you doing?"

"Searching." came the quiet reply.

...no you're not." she shook her head. "You're sitting."

"No, Asuna. Not me." he chastised her with a cross look, tapping his forehead. "Not me. My mind. I'm looking for him. The bastard." for the first time since she'd found him again, Naruto's expression changed; a spark of rage twisting his whiskered face into an ugly scowl before he snuffed it out. "I'm so close now! I can feel it. I've almost got him. All I had to do was scan the mind of everyone on the server. It took me awhile, but," A bitter laugh escaped him, "My old talents came in handy after all. It comes with not being human I suppose. So what if it breaks the game? I'm going to find him. Then...

"What are you talking about? Searching? Searching for who?"

"Doesn't matter. You need to leave."

CRUNCH.

Endurance or not, a physical attack from a high-leveled player hurt. From one of Asuna's caliber, it was akin to taking a truck to the face. Naruto grunted and his health bar dipped a quarter, then sprang back up as his passive regeneration kicked in. Asuna didn't give him the chance to recover or use a teleport crystal. Instead she pounced on him, digging her fingers into the his robe, preventing him from pulling away. She knew that he wanted nothing more than to retreat inward at that moment; to hide himself away from the world. Not on her watch!

"Talk to me, you ass!" She demanded, shaking him! "Who are you looking for?!"

Just like that, the life in his eyes guttered out.

Naruto exhaled heavily through his nose.

"For the one who took them."

Asuna had a sneaking suspicion who Naruto was speaking of, and it was here again that her friend's list served her. Two spaces had turned blank recently, three days ago in particular. Around the same time of Naruto's disappearance. When they had vanished as well. She didn't want to believe it, but somehow, she knew. In that instant she had an epiphany. She understood why he'd left, why he'd closed himself off, refusing to discuss anything with the guild, with anyone. Worse, it aligned with what she'd heard of Kuradeel; it explained why Naruto might want to keep secrets.

Even from her.

"Naruto," she began slowly, "Where's Argo?"

He didn't answer.

A pit of cold dread opened in her stomach.

"Where's Alkaid?"

His only concession was to close his eyes.

"C'mon. Hey. This isn't funny."

A dreadful note of silence.

"I killed them."

Asuna knew the words to be a lie the moment he spoke them.

"Bullshit!"

"I DID, DAMNIT!" The words burst out of Naruto in a vitriolic snarl as he exploded into motion; bolting upright with such force that she nearly lost her grip on him altogether. "They're dead because of me! Because of my stupidity! Don't you see?!" he rounded on her, eyes burning. "You're in danger, too! Everyone I care about? Poof!" he snapped his fingers, hissing. "They get snuffed out like a fucking candle in the wind! I still hear their voices sometimes, you know?" his voice wavered a note, bringing tears to her eyes. "I keep turning my head, expecting to see them. But they're not there. I can't find them. I don't even know if they're in my head or if I'm just hearing things." mournful blue eyes turned to empty, upturned palms. "I can't find them in the world. I can't call them. Can't see them. They're dead because of me. You all are, or will be. So I have to find him, I have to break this world, so you can be free."

Then he turned those pained orbs on her.

"Please, just go. I don't want to lose you, too. I can't."

Asuna found herself balking at the sincerity of his plea, enough so that she took a physical step backwards. Her resolve faltered for but a moment before she recovered. In that fleeting instant, before he could turn and bolt, she grabbed him by the collar and pulled. Hard. His resistance flared but she pulled through, smashing her mouth against his, holding him there in spite of his efforts to escape.

Her?

Leave?

Impossible.

She was already his.

Heart, body, and soul.

"I'm not going anywhere, silly."

Something crumbled in him in that instant.

His arms closed around her with crushing yet gentle force and he buried his head into her neck, shuddering. It took Asuna handful of seconds to realize the enormity of it all, the true depth of his pain; those tears on her vest, to understand the hardened warrior was actually crying. Had she ever seen him cry before? She couldn't recall. The despairing man in her arms seemed an impossible contrast from the steadfast warrior she'd seen on the battlefield, known in her arms. Quietly, she eased him to the ground, stroking the back of his head, murmuring sweet nothings to him.

She held him like that for a very long time.

A/N: And there we have it. Our first casualties. Or do we? Its been awhile, hasn't it? I've been pestered for ages, to do this, haven't I? So lets establish the likely candidates for the harem, thus far. Asuna, Suguha, Sachi, and Lisbeth. ALSO! THE NEXT LINE HERE IS TERRIBLY IMPORTANT!

Suggestions for this story and the path it takes are more than welcome!

And yes, for those of you familiar with .Hack GU, Alkaid is in this story. I sincerely hope that isn't a problem. Other characters such as Haseo and Ovan will make the occasional appearance.

As a another note, if you're wondering about Naruto's armor, for now, its a variation of the Anbu attire, only orange. He'll get better equiptment-and plenty of girls!-as time drags on. I want to try and make this as real as possible, no leaping into relationships straight away. Naruto's essentialy forgotten what it means to love; and he'll be forced to relearn that emotion as he goes on...

...and ah, what a story this'll be!

Just in case ya'll are wondering about my intentions to update this story, rest assured I plan to stick to this and them all! I'm sure many of you have seen my most recent update for the Crimson Prince, after all. That's right, baby! I'm back, all healed up, and ready to update my fics to your heart's content. If there are any particular ones ya'll want update, feel free to give me a shout! So that now its been said...

So...in the immortal words of Atlas...

...Review...Would You Kindly...?

And enjoy the preview!

(Preview)

"Nope."

Naruto spun on his heel and promptly marched in the opposite direction.

Asuna yelped in surprise as she found herself over his shoulder. Sachi's startled squeak told her all she needed to know about that.

"W-What're you doing?!"

"Kidnapping you of course. Thought that was obvious."

"HA?!"

"We're getting married if its the last fucking thing I do in this game."

R&R! =D