Neon Genesis Evangelion: A Missive From The Commander

By Jesak_of_Edo

A/N: This Fanfic is styled after Please Stop Eating the Hell Butterflies, By Mistress Nika. Some Ideas/Characterizations may be inspired by Gregg Landsman's NGE:Nobody Dies, Shinji and Warhammer 40k by Charles Bhepin, and from the Little Angel on My Shoulder thread on Spacebattles. This is my first published Fanfic, so I expect that there will be some mistakes. I am open to constructive criticism, so don't hold back on anything if you review. There may be pairings at some point. And without further ado, lets begin!

I do not own Neon Genesis Evangelion

The staff of NERV-1 were a strange bunch, and Commander Gendo Ikari was aware of this.

The Commander had decided that, to preserve some sense of professionalism among the various personnel, he made it known that any "antics" that they caused would be posted publicly, in an attempt to discourage others from acting in such a way.

The result was the opposite. The NERV staff began to compete to outdo one another, and bets were made on who could pull the most ridiculous stunts. When the Angels began to attack Tokyo-3, things quickly got out of hand

Akagi Ritsuko: No matter how much someone annoys you, the proper response is not pushing them off the Eva cage walkways

Aoba Shigeru: Rei does not steal souls, stop spreading rumors to the new staff

Ayanami Rei: You cannot steal souls, stop listening to Aoba

Fuyutsuki Kozou: Stop raiding my liquor cabinet, especially if you share the scotch with Captain Katsuragi

Hyuga Makoto: Stop trying to use the surveillance system to spy on Captain Katsuragi or I will inform her, and you know what happened to the last person to try that.

Ibuki Maya: Unit 01's jet strips are not to be used for sledding

Katsuragi Misato: NERV does not have a "Dress Casual Day". Put your uniform on now, you are impeding the productivity of most of the male staff.