Present

When Tony came to the first thing he noticed was that he was tied up, and not in a kinky way; wrists bound together with thick rope behind his back, and ankles tied to a chair. He tried squirming free but he was good and properly tied up.

"Stop moving."

Tony knew that voice. He hated that voice. He hated that man. It was hard to see in the dark, but Tony squinted, trying to adjust quickly and find the source.

"You're still moving," Loki pointed out, wriggling about as well so Tony could have a taste of his own medicine. His chair rocked Tony's own, their elbows knocking into each other.

"You've got to be shitting me," Tony blurted, looking over his shoulder to find his own chair was tied to Loki's. They were literally attached together. "I can't even get kidnapped without you somehow showing up?"

Loki wished he had use of his limbs so he could smack Tony back into unconsciousness. "Are you saying I'm not worthy of being kidnapped?"

Were they really arguing about this? "I'm a multi-billionaire," Tony responded. Evidently they were. "My face has been on Time."

"I own my own fashion house," Loki shot back. "Haute couture, you uneducated swine. Do you know how many people would die for a piece of cloth touched by my hand?"

"You're right," Tony snarked back. "They probably kidnapped you so you'll make a Jotunheim original. How stupid of me." He pulled at his arms, hoping that somehow he could get his wrists free. "I'm a weapons manufacturer. I think I'm just a little bit more likely to be kidnapped, no offense Edith Head."

"You better hope they kill you, Stark," Loki growled. "Because the second I'm untied I'm going to cut off your tongue and shove it down your throat."

Seven Months Earlier

Coffee was Tony's life support. The stuff was running in his veins. If he could replace his red blood cells with the glorious stuff, he would. That was actually a good idea.

Take a hit of caffeine. Just inject it every so often. Right into his bloodstream.

It would be perfect.

"Excuse me," a meek voice interrupted Tony's fantasies. He stepped forward and put on his most charming smile. "May I take your order?"

"Coffee," he said. "Black, two sugars." He peered down at the pastries in the display case and tapped his lips in thought. "And the red velvet cupcake," he added with a wink.

The barista rang up the order with a blush, clumsily dropping Tony's credit card onto the floor. Tony sent her a reassuring smile as the people waiting in line groaned in unison.

"You must be joking," someone muttered darkly behind him. Tony turned around to glare, only to be stopped by the sheer beauty of the man.

Legs that went on for miles, a lean yet fit torso, and a face created by the gods themselves. Those cheekbones looked positively murderous. And who actually had ivory skin these days? Especially in southern California. Tony didn't even want to get started on the deep green orbs for eyes.

Tony was in lust.

A squeaky, "Excuse me," from the barista pulled Tony's attention away from the stranger. Tony happily accepted his receipt and card, taking his time. Just because the man was gorgeous didn't mean he had a right to be a complete and total dick.

Once Tony cleared the register, the man stepped forward and impatiently ordered an espresso. Tony never understood espresso.

Though from where he was standing, Tony got a great view of the man's ass. Those trousers had to be tailored because no store bought pants could actually cling to that backside so well.

Tony was thinking of all the things he'd like to do to that fine piece of meat when Donna Summer's soulful voice rang out from his shirt pocket. "Yello?" Tony answered, turning to look out the café window.

"Where are you?" Pepper questioned. "Your father's doing that thing with his face."

Shit. The eye twitch. "I'm getting coffee," Tony told her, just as the barista called out his name and handed him his drink. Tony mouthed a 'thank you' as he dashed out of the café.

"Please tell me your secretary is bringing it to you in the lobby."

"Um…" Tony trailed off as he walked to his car, searching his pockets for his keys. He placed the coffee atop the roof of the car. "Yes?"

Pepper sighed loudly. "9:30. I told you last night. I set an alarm."

"I've got fifteen minutes!" Tony told her. He finally found his key and unlocked the car door as he said, "Look, Pep, spice of my life. I'll be there five minutes, tops."

"You better," she snapped, ending the conversation.

"What's the big deal anyway?" he asked himself. He grabbed his coffee and set it inside the car. It was then that he realized he had forgotten his cupcake. "Shit."

He ran back into the coffee shop and swiftly found his pastry sitting on the counter. He gave an apologetic smile to the man behind the counter as he grabbed it. He opened the bag and pulled out the cupcake, taking a giant bite out of it.

Tony let out a satisfied groan. Now that was a red velvet cupcake. He glanced at his watch. There was no way he was going to make it in five minutes.

He binned the bag and munched on his cupcake as he idly strolled back to his car. A good meal wasn't to be rushed, after all.

He made it back to his car within seconds, licking the frosting off his fingertips. He put on his sunglasses and backed out of the parking lot, only to hear an angry scream and a thud! Oh no.

Tony jumped out of his car only to find the lust worthy stranger drenched in coffee and a wet hand print on the trunk of his Audi.

"You idiot!" the man yelled, throwing his now empty coffee cup at Tony.

Tony dodged it, little droplets landing on his shoes. "Did I hit you?" Tony asked, inspecting the man for any damage. Other than the spilled coffee, the man seemed whole. No limp. No clutching of limbs. Well he definitely wasn't being sued today.

Pepper would be pleased to hear that.

"Who taught you to drive?" the man spit out. "A blind man?"

"In my grandpa's defense he's only partially blind," Tony joked.

The man glared daggers at him. Right. Now was not a good time to make jokes. "Look, I really am sorry," Tony admitted. "But I'm kind of in a rush. So give my assistant a call and I'll cover the dry cleaning on that." He pulled out his business card and handed it to the man who simply slapped the card away.

"Just get away from me," the stranger hissed.

Keeping that in mind, Tony just shrugged his shoulders and got back into his car. Jeez. You try to be nice.

"You're late," Pepper greeted him as the elevator doors opened.

"I had a bit of an accident," Tony admitted, walking down the hallway towards the board room.

"What?" Pepper exclaimed, her heels clacking against the tiled floors as she tried to keep up with her boss. "Are you okay? What happened."

Tony waved her off as he buttoned his suit jacket. "I'm fine." He looked at her as he said, "But if you get a call from an irate man, pay any and all costs for his suit."

Pepper nodded, knowing better than to ask for details. Tony paused as he reached the room, spying Janice Cord chatting with Howard. "What are the Cords doing here?" he asked Pepper.

"They called the meeting," Pepper explained, snapping her fingers at her own assistant who pulled two ties out of nowhere. She picked the red one and wrapped it around Tony's neck. "So behave."

"I always behave," Tony pouted, cringing as pulled the tie taut. "And don't bring up that time in Monte Carlo."

Pepper grinned, inspecting Tony one last time before giving him the thumbs up. "Will that be all, Mr. Stark?"

"That'll be all, Miss Potts."

Loki threw his ruined shirt onto the floor. He was sticky all over from where the coffee had landed on him and had to practically peel his clothes off. He glanced at his watch and cursed under his breath. He was going to be late.

He had called the damn meeting together and he was going to be late. Odin was going to kill him when he found out. But he'd rather be late than show up dirty, sticky, and smelling like he bathed in coffee.

Loki hopped into the shower and scrubbed himself down mercilessly. That was his favorite suit too. "If I ever see that man again," he growled, "I'm going to kill him."

It was as he was drying off his hair, towel wrapped around his hips that there was a light knocking at his door. "Bathroom," Loki called out, hoping it wasn't either of his brothers.

The bathroom door opened and Frigga popped her head in, tutting as she saw the state Loki was in. "I thought you were ready," she said. "Baldr's been feigning knowledge of the summer collection."

"I hope you told him to stop," Loki retorted, combing his hair back. He looked at his mother through the mirror and asked, "Could you bring me a suit?"

Frigga nodded and Loki shut the door, finally putting on his underwear. He stepped out of the bathroom and into the bedroom where his mother had laid out a pair of navy blue trousers and a daffodil colored button up. She pursed her lips as she studied the suit jacket in front of her.

"What's wrong?" he asked as he dressed.

"I don't know whether you ought to go without the jacket or not," Frigga replied.

"Dress to impress," Loki reminded her as he slipped on his oxfords. "If we want the deal, we've got to prove we know what we're talking about."

Frigga nodded her approval, putting the jacket back into the closet and pulling out a vest instead.

Baldr laughed along with Howard Stark and Drexel Cord, hoping they wouldn't notice the nervous bead of sweat trailing down his forehead. He glanced at the clock on the wall and held back his curse. It was fifteen to ten and Loki was still nowhere in sight.

On the other side of the conference room Tony was speaking with Obadiah Stane. Probably about what a waste of time this whole meeting was. God, his father was going to kill him if he screwed up this deal. And then he'd kill Loki.

Frigga slipped quietly into the room and nodded her head minutely at him. Perfect. Baldr excused himself from the patriarchs and cleared his throat. "Ladies and gentlemen," he announced. Every eye was on him and Baldr smiled gently. "We are about to begin our presentation, if you'd be so kind as to take your seats. "

He sidled up beside his mother as everyone took their seats and whispered, "What took so long?"

"There was a bit of an accident," she told him. "But everything will be fine."

"This was his dumb idea," Baldr gritted out.

Frigga swatted his arm and smiled pleasantly as the conference door opened and Loki walked in, dressed to the nines and a large presentation portfolio under his arm. A Stark employee took the portfolio away from him and Loki urged the man to be careful.

"Good morning," Loki started with a fierce grin. His perfectly white teeth looked positively feral, but the danger in his smile was what usually drew in his clientele. "Forgive my tardiness. Truth be told you should throw me out this instant for wasting your time," Loki told them all.

Baldr clenched his fist. What was Loki doing?

Tony Stark coughed suddenly and all eyes turned to him. Loki merely sneered in his direction. "However I was invited by my dear friend," Loki continued. Janice wiggled her fingers at Loki, a delighted look on her face. "And I'd hate to disappoint."

"What's this all about?" Drexel asked, pulling his daughter's hand down. This meeting was clearly the work of his daughter. "What do you want so badly?"

"It's not what I want, Mr. Cord," Loki answered, "but rather what I can give you.

"Two months ago both yourself and Mr. Stark, announced the merger between your two companies, which was also accompanied by the good news of the engagement of your children. The Cords and the Starks, united at last.

"The nation – nay, the world – is looking to you all. The two wealthiest, and may I add, most powerful, families are uniting. Your son and daughter's wedding is going to be the talk of the town for months after they tie the knot.

"And I want to help you give them a reason to talk."

He paused a moment, letting his words sink in. Loki knew he had the patriarchs hooked when he saw that dangerous glint in their eye. Oh, he knew he was good but those two were desperate for it.

"Who the hell are you?" Tony asked, not as taken in by Loki's speech as his father or future father in-law.

Loki turned his sharp glare on the man and felt himself seethe. It was the man who nearly ran him over that morning. He held the glare as he snapped his fingers, the employee who took his portfolio earlier setting up the boards inside on an easel.

"He's designing my wedding dress, sweetheart," Janice interrupted. Tony barely glanced at her, wincing slightly at the endearment.

Loki smiled gently at her. "Janice is one of my most devoted clients," Loki informed the table, showing them the different sketches of past dresses she had worn in the past. "From red carpets to charity galas, our lovely Miss Cord has been seen in an Asgardian original, made by yours truly."

"You're trying to get more money out of us," Tony cut in.

"I am offering my services to create the wedding clothes," Loki explained patiently. "Yggdrasil is one of the most sought after clothing empires. We have specialty boutiques in every country. We've dressed royalty in the finest silks and brocades to the most humble of children in wools and linens. Kate Middleton's wedding dress? A rip off of one of my own designs from the 2010 winter Vanaheim collection."

"Congrats," Tony drawled.

Loki chuckled darkly. "Thank you, Mr. Stark. We're quite proud."

The two men stared each other down, Loki with his hands placed defiantly on his hips. Janice, seemingly unaware of the tension of the room, whispered in her father's ear, "He's got some wonderful designs for the bridesmaids dresses."

She leaned forward and placed an hand on Loki's elbow. "Loki, show them," she insisted. After all, she had her heart set on Loki creating her fairytale dress. This extra step taken by him would only ensure her wedding was perfect.

"Daddy, you'll love them," Janice insisted. "And he does suits too." She smiled up at Loki who knew that even if everyone else was adverse to him creating the wedding clothes, Janice wasn't going to let this chance go.

Loki and Janice had planned out the meeting beforehand. The speech was all him, but Janice knew that he needed to really pull at the pride and egos of both men. "They care too much about what everyone thinks of them," she had told him and Loki was sure to use that to his advantage.

What he did not count on, however, was Tony Stark: the fiancé. Loki was certain that as a matter of fact, Stark didn't care if he was married on the moon or in a back alley wearing nothing but a potato sack, but it was their prior acquaintance that made him impossible to convince.

Loki had designed the sharpest tuxedo for the bridegroom and the groomsmen. The bridesmaids dresses were flattering but not opulent, and the wedding gown was still in progress but his early sketches were classically beautifully, designed to focus on Janice's natural curves.

Considering most of those in the room were men, all the decisions were placed on Janice's shoulders. If she approved whole heartedly, who were these gentlemen to destroy her vision of a perfect wedding. But Tony Stark refused to acknowledge Loki was as important or skilled as he claimed.

"I've never even heard of Yggdrasil," he said. "And I've certainly never heard of Loki Odinson."

Loki clenched his fist and smirked at the man. "The very same could be said of yourself, Mr. Stark," Loki grit out. "I thought you were nothing more than a drunkard and womanizer."

Anger flashed in Tony's eyes but rather than lashing out, he leaned back in his chair and chuckled, "You caught me."

"Tony's turned over a new leaf," Janice replied, not sparing him a look as she cooed over another sketch.

The two men met each other's eyes, knowing that wasn't true in the least.

"I don't like him," Tony declared as he stepped into the elevator, Pepper at his side. She was dutifully ignoring him, going through her phone to check her boss's schedule for the day. "He acts like I'm supposed to know who the hell he is."

"Most people know who Loki Odinson is," Pepper replied.

Tony grunted his disapproval. People knew who Tony Stark was. Loki Odinson? No one had ever heard of him. He was no one. At least compared to himself.

"Did you see the way my dad was eating out of his hand?" Tony plowed on. "Disgusting."

As the elevator doors opened into the garage of the Stark building, Pepper rolled her eyes and followed him towards the car. "You won't have to talk to him at all," Pepper told him. "You'll see him maybe twice in the next year."

"That's more than enough," Tony bit out, unlocking his car.

Present

Loki and Tony had two very different plans on how to escape. Loki insisted they wait until their captor showed up, listen to their master plan, and then find a way to escape. Having all the information on hand was much better than going in blindly. Which was basically Tony's plan.

"It's not reckless," Tony argued. "They're not going to expect us to escape right off the bat."

"There's probably a guard at the door," Loki hissed. "What if we're in the middle of the Mojave Desert?"

Tony wished he was facing Loki so he could give him a look that properly conveyed how stupid he thought that statement was. As it was, he had to rely on telling him. "We're not in the desert. Well any more in the desert than we usually are."

"It's so hot," Loki complained, tilting his head back, the top of his head touching the back of Tony's. He closed his eyes and went limp, hoping that that would ease the pain and tension in his shoulder.

Frightened that Loki had passed out, Tony began shaking his body back and forth. "Loki? Loki wake up!"

Loki sat back up with a groan. "I'm not dead," he grumbled.

"I didn't think you were," Tony replied. He was totally lying. He was five hundred percent positive Loki had died on him. "Do you think you can reach into my pocket?"

Loki turned his head, trying to get a look at Tony. Tony turned in the same direction and both men's cheeks were nearly touching. "Have you got a knife?" Loki asked. That would actually be highly convenient.

"I should have keys," Tony answered. "You could probably cut us loose."

"They took everything," Loki told him. "I already checked. I had a nail file in my front po – " He cut himself off, looking down at his shirt. He still had it.

He threw back his head and laughed, pleased as punch. Tony tried turning his head to see what Loki found so amusing. "What? Talk to me here."

"I've still got the file," Loki whispered. He usually kept a few pencils and a nail file in his shirt pocket. He never knew when inspiration would strike, or someone would complain about a chipped nail. He prided himself on his forethought.

"That's great!" Tony exclaimed. "Can you reach it?"

Loki opened his mouth to answer but quickly shut it. His arms were tied… but he could use his mouth! He tilted his head down, pawing at his chest with an open mouth.

"Have you got it?"

"Give me a moment," Loki shot back. "This isn't easy, you know." Tony didn't say anything further and Loki saw it as a win. He bent down again, his mouth biting and grabbing his shirt, but no nail file.

Just as he managed to graze the file with a tooth both men heard the sound of a door opening. Loki lifted his head to see a silhouetted man in the doorway some twenty feet away. "Act I, Scene I," Loki murmured.

"What does that mean?" Tony whispered back.

"Villain speech, I think," Loki said. "Looks like we're going with my plan."

6 Months and 2 Weeks Earlier

Loki set his garment bag on his bed and rechecked the mobile ticket on his Stark phone. He was going to Vienna for the grand opening of Jotunheim, the shop dedicated solely to his menswear line.

He had several all over Europe, but this was the first in Austria and his mother had insisted it would be good publicity to make an appearance. After all, Jotunheim was his brain child.

Loki was a year old when his parents created Yggdrasil. As a toddler he had spent his days in his mother's boutique, playing with scarves and pinning feathers on hats. Where his elder brothers found the swirls of fabric and vibrant rainbow of colors a nuisance, Loki found himself immersed in it all.

The mild sadness of not having a girl quickly dissipated upon learning that Loki was keenly interested in the family business.

And what a business!

What was once one shop in Höfn, became two shops in Reyjavik. And what was once a small, national brand, became a European sensation nearly overnight. The world quickly followed.

In his class notes, Loki would doodle designs for dresses, skirts, blouses, shoes, purses; he'd sketch the perfect upturn of a collar, the weight of a cotton skirt, the texture of a velvet jacket.

He was quickly brought under Frigga's wing and despite being only a teenager, he helped make Yggdrasil a name brand to speak of. Loki would show up to the fashion shows by his mother's side, dressed in a slick suit by Hugo Boss, Armani, Prada – each begging him to wear their name.

Loki was not content to wear a name that was not his mother's. Yggdrasil, at that time, was focused solely on women's and children's clothing. Vanaheim was bridalwear; Asgard was evening wear; Midgard was focused solely on dressing underprivileged children in third world countries (a percentage of all Yggdrasil's profit was given to Midgard); Helheim, casualwear, and so on and so forth.

They didn't have a line dedicated solely to the male figure, and as a man, Loki was outraged. Fresh out of university, Loki knocked on his father's door and laid out his idea. A men's line of business and casual wear. And thus Jotunheim was born.

There were times when Loki regretted ever proposing the idea, as he was in charge of the line. Sometimes he wanted to design a pretty slip made from the softest silk, rather than a tweed coat with oversized copper buttons.

But despite it all, Jotunheim was his baby. It was his own personal design he wore to fashion shows and galas, it was his hand that tailored trousers and coats to celebrities who were willing to dish out hundreds and thousands, it was Jotunheim every man with any lick of sense wore when they needed to make an impression.

So if Vienna he was needed, then Vienna he would go.

Tony didn't understand why he had a private jet if he never used it. Scratch that – he was never allowed to use it. Probably because he never showed up at the scheduled take off time. But once again, what was the point of a private jet if he couldn't leave whenever he wanted to?

His father did not agree. Therefore, Tony was forced to use an airline just like everybody else. At least it was first class.

That was the only saving grace Tony could find, considering he was roused out of bed not forty five minutes earlier by a very irate Pepper Potts. Apparently if he was late, the pilot would fly without him.

He grumbled the entire drive to the airport, not caring in the least that he was wearing a pair of dingy sweatpants and an old MIT sweatshirt. Just because he was a millionaire didn't mean he was going to fly in his best clothes.

If he couldn't have his own personal jet, then by god he was going to look like every other bum that rode an airplane for fifteen hours.

"2C," Tony muttered under his breath, looking at his crinkled ticket. The air steward happily pointed out Tony's seat, right in front – of course, and it wasn't even a window seat – and he paused as he looked at his seat partner. "No!" he blurted.

Loki looked up from the book in lap and pursed his lips. "Mr. Stark," he greeted as Tony flung himself into the seat beside him.

"Just my fucking luck," Tony grumbled, pulling out his Starkplayer and unraveling his headphones. He glanced at Loki once more who was watching him in amusement. "What?" he asked.

"I was just thinking it is quite the coincidence," Loki answered. "Also I can't believe you left the house like that." He wrinkled his nose in distaste and gave Tony the once over. Yes, he still disapproved.

Tony took a gander at Loki's freshly pressed jeans and nearly see through t-shirt and scowled further. "I'm not trying to impress anyone."

"You've made that quite obvious."

Tony turned away from Loki and put on his headphones, scrolling through his music. He settled on AC/DC and turned the music as loud as he could stand, hoping that it bled through the headphones so Loki would be forced to listen to it as well.

Not that there was any chance of that. The headphones were Tony's own design and he knew from the thousands of tests that these badboys were as soundproof as space. Was space soundproof?

A tap on his shoulder a few minutes later by the flight attendant reminded him to turn off all electronic devices and Tony grumbled as he complied. Loki snorted beside him.

"Don't forget your seatbelt," Loki reminded him.

Tony buckled himself in defiantly. "What's with your Wikipedia page?" Tony suddenly asked, elbow resting on his armrest, chin propped up by his fist. "I don't mean you, specifically. Your company's page."

Loki raised an eyebrow, amused. "You looked us up."

"Yeah, of course," Tony replied. "I don't exactly like trusting you with my clothes, but Janice is adamant, so…"

"How long do you think that marriage is going to last?" Loki asked, quirking his head to the side, a cheekily thoughtful expression on his face. "I want to say three months, but your father's seem the type to force it."

Tony frowned at him, ignoring the flight attendant who stood before them giving the pre-flight safety demonstration. "It literally avoids the name of the shop your mother started in, the name of the millionaire and his wife – it's not very detailed," he continued.

"Writing a report?"

"Very strange."

Loki watched in keen interest as the air hostess held up the safety card that detailed everything she had just covered. He nodded politely at her and then turned returned to his book.

They didn't say another word to one another as the plane took off. Tony refused to even look at the man. He had asked a question, damn it, and he wanted an answer.

Two hours into the flight and Loki shut his book, putting it in the pocket in front of him. "I understand why the Cords want to marry into your family," Loki said, breaking the silence. "But why does your family want to marry them? You're already buying out their company."

"I don't have to explain myself to you," Tony responded, crossing his arms and staring out the window across the aisle.

Loki smirked, enjoying how uncomfortable Tony was. "Oh I see," he mused. "You knocked her up."

"What?" Tony exclaimed, turning to Loki, insulted within every fiber of his existence.

"It's perfectly understandable," Loki plowed on. "It was bound to happen eventually. It's been rather lucky of you that it took this long for you to finally get a woman pregnant. Perhaps you're not as virile as everyone assumes."

Tony huffed, pulling his headphones back on and playing his music to the loudest decibel. He really hoped Loki could hear every word Eminem was rapping.

They didn't speak another word to each other, and when they transferred to their connecting flights in Toronto, they both breathed a sigh of relief that they wouldn't be spending more time together.

Present

"Good evening, gentlemen," the man greeted, his thick accent nearly indistinguishable. Was that Russian? Polish? Most likely Eastern European. What the hell did they do to piss of Eastern Europe?

"Hi," Tony responded.

"Lovely weather we're having," Loki commented.

The man laughed, long and loud, the sound reverberating off the walls of the cool warehouse they were in. With actual light in the room they could finally map out their surroundings, which each man was taking full advantage of. "Oh, they said you were funny," the man wheezed, hands on his knees as he tried to get his breath back.

"Who exactly said?" Tony asked.

"And which one of us specifically, is considered funny?" Loki tagged on.

"Me," Tony informed him. "Obviously."

"Oh, please, Stark," Loki huffed. "Your humor is akin to poop jokes told by six year olds."

"Six year olds are very funny."

"Point proven."

"My name is Mikhail Dyatlov," the man informed them, ignoring their little spat. "I hope you are most comfortable."

Tony and Loki gave each other a look, raising eyebrows and twitching their noses. They turned back to their host and said, "I've been better."

"Good, good," Dyatlov answered. "I would hate to hear you were not enjoying your stay."

"Probably my most comfortable kidnapping," Tony said. "Not gonna lie."

"I'm sure by now you're wondering who I am," he continued.

Loki cleared his throat and Dyatlov turned to him, annoyed. This was not how his villain speech was supposed to go. "Sorry," Loki cut him off. "But which one of us did you actually want to kidnap."

"What?!" Tony shouted. "You piece of shit."

"I don't understand," Dyatlov told him.

"I'm sure you only wanted one of us, right?" Loki asked. "I'm the son of a millionaire. He's the son of a millionaire. He makes horribly cliché weapons. I design unbelievably amazing clothes. Which one of us was an added bonus?"

"You can't just ask that," Tony interjected. "Besides, we all know it's me they're after."

"Why do you sound so proud?"

"Why are you so hung up on this?"

4 Months and 8 Days Earlier

Tony stepped into the waiting car, smiling at Janice who was fixing checking her makeup in her compact mirror. "You look nice," he told her.

Janice glanced up from the mirror and pouted. "I was going for sexy," she revealed.

"You look sexy?" he tried.

She sighed, shutting her compact and stuffing it into her purse. "I hate the ballet," she complained, pouting. "Though it's definitely better than the Opera."

"You could have stayed at home," Tony said.

"But then I wouldn't spend time with you," Janice replied, putting a hand on Tony's thigh and squeezing.

Oh boy.

"Why couldn't Jane come?" Loki asked, as he followed Thor up to their seats. Not that he was complaining. He quite liked the ballet. But it was a tad awkward he had to spend the evening with his brother.

His giant, bigger than a house, brother who looked like his suit was going to tear itself in half. Baldr was just as tall and wide, but Thor was a professional football player. He was literally paid millions to be that big.

And Loki was going to have to sit next to him for at least two hours. Oh joy. Nothing excited Loki more than knowing his brother was going to take up half of his seat, elbows digging into his side.

"Dr. Selvig needed her assistance," Thor answered, pausing as he came to their row. Thor held out his arm, letting Loki go first.

"What space thing are they tracking now?" Loki asked, sitting down, his long legs bent in odd angles. His knees hit the top of the seat in front of him and Loki was beginning to dread the whole ordeal.

The problem with Thor, and Jane by extension, was that despite their money, he didn't really care for living a life of luxury. He bought cheap seat tickets, feeling the experience was better than comfort. Thor still drove the 94' Lexus Odin had given him back when he turned 16, and even then it was a few years old.

Thor was a sweetheart, nothing like his rough exterior suggested, which was probably why Jane Foster fell for him in the first place. He was in his last year at UCLA when she was an awkward freshman who sat next to him in writing seminar.

The senior linebacker fell hard and fast, and Jane was quick to follow. The number of years she had stuck around was quite alarming to Loki. What anyone saw in an idiot like Thor Loki really didn't know.

"I don't know," Thor admitted. "But she was very excited." He smiled brightly and turned his attention to the stage, fingers tapping away on his knees. He looked like a bear trapped in a kiddie car.

Someone sat down beside Thor and he smiled at the couple. "Jane's always excited," Loki commented, stretching out his left leg. "Have you told mother yet?" he asked.

Thor's face turned white. "No," he mumbled, picking at a string from his department store suit coat. What was the point of running a fashion line if his own brother didn't take advantage of it. "We were thinking of waiting."

"Until when?" Loki asked. "Your child's wedding day?"

"You know how mother gets," Thor argued. "She picked out the nursery colors three seconds after I introduced her to Jane."

"You can't hide the fact that Jane's expecting," Loki pointed out. "She's already two months."

Thor sighed, leaning back in his seat, the chair creaking ominously. "We've got that dinner this Friday."

Loki grunted and the brothers sat quietly, each thinking on how that dinner would possibly go down. They grimaced at each other. The joyous shrieking would no doubt rupture their eardrums.

A couple disrupted the people seated in front of them and Loki stretched out his other leg, taking up some of Thor's space. He didn't want his knees jabbing into the seat of the person in front. His kindness was quickly withdrawn upon seeing the face of Tony Stark.

"Oh for heaven's sake," he cursed, grabbing his program and covering his face as quickly as possible. He did not need the man to recognize him.

"How's this?" Tony asked.

"I can't see," the woman said. No doubt his date. Loki peered over his program and realized it was Janice. The man actually went on dates with his fiancé. That was… unexpected.

Didn't mean Loki was suddenly filled with good will towards the man, after all, he was a total asshole, but it was probable he was wrong in his estimation of the length of their marriage. It might actually be four months.

Janice switched spots with Tony and she let out a happy squeak. "Perfect! I can see everything."

Tony sat in his chair and bounced up and down a few times. The man sitting in front of him was probably going to be a pain. He looked behind him and blanched. "You've got to fucking kidding me!" he exclaimed.

Everyone around Tony looked up at him in confusion. "Good evening, Stark," Loki drawled, lowering his program. "Miss Cord."

"Loki!" Janice beamed, attempting to turn in her cramped seat. "Oh thank God you're here. I thought I was going to have to suffer the show alone."

"I'm quite the fan of ballet," Loki told her.

Thor squirmed in his seat, trying to pull his legs in and accidentally bumping into Janice's seat. "Sorry," he said with an apologetic smile. Janice raised an eyebrow and gave Loki a significant look.

He merely rolled his eyes. "Thor," Loki began the introductions. "This is Janice Cord and her fiancé Tony Stark. This is my brother, Thor." He waved a limp hand between them all.

Janice's eyes grew wide. That was Loki's brother? Hot damn, the family was made of hotties.

Tony just stared at Thor, taking in all the meat and muscle. He had assumed the man was Loki's date. They didn't really look all that related to him. Though Tony was a bit glad that they weren't together.

Not because he was jealous. Oh no. Because he wasn't jealous at all. He hated Loki with his entire being. His soul thrived on his hatred for the pompous asshole. More like because he was frightened that if he and Loki got into a heated argument the man would pummel his ass.

"Hi."

Thankfully the lights dimmed and any attempt at exchanging pleasantries ended.

Present

"Enough!" Dyatlov shouted, causing Loki and Tony to stop fighting. "Do you two always argue like this?"

"Yes," Loki answered truthfully.

"In my defense," Tony said. "He's really annoying."

Loki snorted, rolling his eyes. If anyone was annoying, it was Tony Stark by far. The man has his name on his vanity plates. He had his name on everything. His phones, his buildings, his bombs.

"Not to be rude, or anything," Loki remarked, "but are we going to be fed or anything? I skipped lunch."

Dyatlov stared at the two men, completely speechless. They didn't have an ounce of self preservation in their bodies.

3 Months, 3 Weeks, & 5 days Earlier

Tony stood on the platform with his arms raised, stripped down to his silky boxers. Long fingers held a white tape measure to his shoulder, running the measure down to his wrist. His arms was lowered and the process was repeated.

His arms were raised once more and the tape measure was wrapped snugly around his chest. "Inhale." Tony did as he was told, the measure slip smoothly about an inch and Loki took note of it.

"Why couldn't you just accept the measurements my tailor gave you?" Tony asked as Loki placed the tape measure on his hip, pulling it tightly down to his ankle.

"I don't trust anyone who isn't me," Loki absently told him, jotting down the number in a notepad. He placed the pencil back behind his ear. "I'm almost done."

Tony refrained from telling him off. Tony had many good years being measured by a tailor. Some hot shot fashion designer with an ego the size of Canada was not any different than that. Though Loki was much more attractive than –

Woah! No. Back off, Stark. Tony shifted uncomfortably. He wasn't going to think of Loki as attractive. Loki was horrible. A horrible, terrible man who was obsessed with clothes and money. Yes. Perfect.

"You're all set," Loki told him, putting his notepad into his back pocket. He was dressed down compared to all the other times Tony had seen him. His sleeves were rolled up to his elbows and he was actually wearing jeans, which were hugging his legs just right.

Tony stepped off the small platform and grabbed his own jeans, ratty and grease stained. "That all?"

Loki flipped open a folder, looking at the contents within. He looked at Tony, squinting his eyes and tilting his head in thought. "You wouldn't do a tux justice," Loki said.

"And you'd look like an underfed penguin," Tony shot back.

Loki merely smirked, tapping his lip thoughtfully. "I think a double breasted suit, six buttons. Black tie, grey? – I'll have to decide actual suit color. Red shirt would no doubt be preferable for you, though it is loud," he thought out loud. "I do know you enjoy being loud." He nodded. "That's all, Stark. Put your pants back on."

He walked out of the room, issuing out orders to his minions who scrambled around him, none wishing to bear his wrath.

Tony begrudgingly got dressed, making faces at his retreating back.

Present

They were thrown into a cramped room, nothing like the large warehouse they woke up in. Despite the crude accommodations, both men were now untied, which was a remarkable plus.

Loki rubbed at his wrists, chafed from where he had tried to pull himself free.

Dyatlov had apparently gotten tired of their shit and decided to punish them. Or was this a reward? They could stand and walk around, but now they were crammed together, unable to take more than five steps in any direction, and Loki couldn't even stand up straight due to the low ceiling.

"Do you think they'll feed us?" Tony asked, hands grazing the walls in search of a light switch.

Loki felt something hit his face and he reached out, taking hold of a metal chain. He pulled and the room was filled with light.

They had to be in a small closet, or even a cellar of some sort. The walls were wood, as if they were inside the walls of a house. It was also completely empty, lacking anything useful to help them escape.

"So what's the plan?" Tony asked.

Loki rubbed at his forehead from where he had smacked it into a wooden beam. "Plan? I don't have a plan."

"You said we should wait until the villain showed up," Tony pointed out. "It happened."

"He didn't give a villain speech," Loki grumbled. "They usually give away their plan and then a hint on how we can escape."

"This isn't a movie!"

"I never said it was," Loki replied. He sat on the ground, not caring if he dirtied his jeans. He was rather distraught after all. "You know he never said who he actually meant to kidnap."

Tony slid down the wall opposite Loki, their feet touching. "Because it was obvious he was kidnapping me."

"I think he might be mafia," Loki pointed out. "We all know the mafia need their own fashion gurus."

Tony chuckled, knocking his shoulder into Loki's own. "We need to come up with a plan."

"Why would someone kidnap both of us?" Loki asked. "Besides the obvious. We have no connection."

"Besides the obvious," Tony added helpfully.

Nine Hours Earlier

"Mother, I am losing my mind!" Loki shouted, fingers pressed to his brow in a dramatic fashion as his models scrambled around him, squeezing into their gowns.

Not even ten minutes into his show and already everything was falling apart. A model sprained her ankle coming off of the runway, and was currently icing the wounded appendage; someone had misprinted the program, leaving Loki off of it, and only last minute PR (and a horrible tongue lashing) got people in the room; and worst of all, Odin was out there, among the other spectators.

This only brought on the pressure even more. Despite Frigga's support and belief that his designs were perfect, Loki was still afraid that if Odin didn't approve, or he didn't do well, he'd cut Loki out of the company. Throw him away like an old rag, for being unable to make money. One could flop only so many times.

That had yet to happen to Loki, but by the way this show was going, he was going to be made a complete fool.

Frigga soothingly rubbed her hands up and down Loki's back. "Everything's going to be alright," she told him. "Just take a breath, and everything will be work out."

"Maggie can't go on!" Loki hissed, glaring at her from afar. "And the other girls won't fit."

Frigga flicked at Loki's ear, and he pouted at her. "Everything will work out," she told him sternly. "We'll figure something out."

Tony sat dutifully in his seat, watching women strut up and down a runway, praying that the whole thing would end as soon as possible. Janice looked at all of Loki's designs with sparkles in her eyes, and Tony knew that he was going to have a very small bank account once they were married.

Well, considering Tony was a multi-billionaire, it wasn't so much going to be small, but rather unnecessarily dented. He felt an ache in his chest. His poor, hard earned cash.

Tony stealthily pulled out his phone and opened up an exhilarating game of 2048 when an excited murmur went through the crowd. He looked up from his phone, only to find a heavily pregnant woman totter down the runway, wearing a long, flowing dress.

She didn't seem your typical model, for obvious reasons, but she was very pretty, with wavy brown hair and a lightly made up face. She was barefoot, which only increased her etherealness. Janice pulled on Tony's sleeve and whispered, "That's Jane Foster!"

Tony looked up at the model and blanched. "The astrophysicist?" he asked. And now that she mentioned it, it was most definitely the revered scientist. Woah, she was very, very pregnant. That was new.

"Who?" Janice asked, pulling out her phone and opening a page of Thor Odinson, the revered football player, the one they had seen at the ballet. "It's Thor's wife. She really is pretty when she tries."

Loki grinned toothily at the hounding reporters. Yes, he was very clever. He was very much aware. They didn't need to make such a big deal over using his pregnant sister in-law as a model.

"If you'll excuse me," Loki said, shoving through the crowd, hoping to get a moment to breathe. He grabbed a champagne flute just before leaving the room into the blessedly empty hall. Everyone of import were well on their way to getting drunk inside.

He quietly made his way to a large, bay window and took a sip of his drink. Silence. Sweet, wonderful, peace.

"An astrophysicist," Tony murmured under his breath, from where he was standing some ten feet away. Loki looked up and frowned. So much for peace and quiet.

"What do you want now?" Loki asked, hand on his hip.

"An astrophysicist," Tony repeated. "You got an astrophysicist, and a pregnant one at that. Also, Foster is the toughest woman in science that I know of. And you got her into a dress and waddle around. It's amazing."

"She owed me a favor," Loki said. Tony raised an amused brow. "And she was the only one who'd fit into the dress."

"Naturally," Tony smiled. They stood there in silence, staring out the window, somehow coming to a truce.

Maybe Loki wasn't as uptight as annoying as Tony thought. He hadn't seen him since his measuring, and there were no more unplanned run-ins. Besides, Loki could think on his feet, which Tony admired in just about anyone.

"Your suit's nearly done, you know," Loki supplied. "You'll have to come in later this week for a fitting."

"I'll get Pepper to pencil it in," Tony said.

Loki nodded, downing the rest of his champagne. "Back to the fray," he grimaced.

"Good luck," Tony offered. Loki nodded, casually waving goodbye before a sack was thrown over his head. Tony stood there agape, making a move to rescue the fashion designer, but suddenly saw nothing but black as he was creamed on the back of the head.

Present

Loki had his hand wrapped in a dirty rag he had found in a crate to prevent burn from the light bulb he was holding. He was holding it towards the door where Tony was making use of his nail file.

They had played rock, paper, scissors to see who would actually try to pick the lock, and Tony was the lucky victor. Unfortunately the nail file wasn't good enough as a singular entity and Tony had to break the file in half, much to Loki's dismay.

"Stop pouting," Tony muttered, as he picked at the lock. He nearly had it. "And stop moving the light."

Loki made a face at the back of Tony's head, but dutifully held his arm still. It was tough, considering his arm was beginning to go numb. "We should probably switch. You're never going to get it."

Tony stopped his fiddling and turned beseechingly towards him. "I can't concentrate with you shouting at me."

"I'm not shouting," Loki shouted. He put down his arm and threw the rag onto the floor. He squatted down beside Tony, trying to take the broken nail fail away from him, whispering, "I just think we ought to trade."

"I nearly had it," Tony told him, keeping the file out of Loki's reach.

He fell over and Loki crawled atop him, arms swatting at Tony's legs which were trying to kick Loki away. "Just give it to me."

"No!" Tony turned onto his stomach, trying to crawl away, but Loki had managed to sneak his hands under his stomach and hold him still.

There was the distant sound of footsteps and both men paused in their fight. They looked at one another and simultaneously jumped apart, Tony pocketing the file as Loki back crawled away from the door. They both stood and tried to look as innocent as possible.

Tony turned off the light and they were plunged once again in darkness. From outside their room they heard voices and they instantly sidled closer to the door, hoping to gain some information on who had them and why.

Suddenly the door burst open and both men stumbled backwards. They could see nothing of the faces of the men who entered, but still they both seemed to understand that now was the perfect chance for escape.

Loki kicked the one man in the groin, elbowing him hard in the face as he bent down in pain. Tony tackled his captor to the ground, punching him in the temple as hard as he could.

Despite their efforts, both men were larger and stronger than either Loki or Tony and managed to wrangle a hood onto their faces and shove them into the wall.

"This was a terrible plan," Tony complained as his wrists were zip tied behind his back.

Loki grunted as his captor grabbed his head and knocked it into the wall. He groaned, bright stars flashing behind his eyelids. "Wasn't my plan," he slurred.

"You alright?" Tony asked, fear creeping in as he heard Loki sound less than a hundred percent.

"Move," one of the thugs ordered as they were manhandled out of the room.

They were led to a new room, most likely the warehouse they had occupied hours earlier and forced them into chairs. Tony was really getting tired of this. These kidnappers had to make up their minds on what they were going to do with them.

Loki jostled beside him and whispered almost inaudibly, "I think Dyatlov is going to try questioning us again."

Tony nodded, despite knowing Loki couldn't see him.

The hoods were ripped off their heads and both men squinted at the bright light. Tony tried his best to look around but couldn't adjust quick enough.

"I hope you're not vegetarian."

Tony looked towards the voice and squinted up at Mikhail Dyatlov, who had actually listened to their griping. Sitting on a table before them were two bags of "Burger King!" Tony chirped. His stomach gave a grumble and his mouth began to water. He really was starving.

"I heard you like this," Dyatlov spoke. "Eat. Enjoy." He motioned to his men who cut their zip ties, keeping a hand on their shoulders to remind them that resistance was futile.

Tony eagerly grabbed a cheeseburger, quickly removing the wrapper and groaning as he took a bite. "Oh my god, I'm in heaven," he moaned, flecks of bun and cheese flying out of his mouth.

Loki was more cautious, sniffing the burger before deciding that this meal was much better than starving.

"Did you get fries?" Tony asked, digging through his bag and crowing in pleasure as he found that his kidnapper had indeed gotten fries. Two cups of soda was placed on the table then and Tony smiled. Wow. Kidnapping was kind of fun when they fed you.

Dyatlov watched them in interest, before sitting down himself. "I hope now we can talk like gentlemen."

Loki slurped his drink, the sound echoing throughout the warehouse. Dyatlov shot him an annoyed look as Tony tried to hold back his giggles. Oh god, they were acting like children right now. "Sorry," Loki apologized.

Wow, this situation was getting more and more surreal. What was going to happen next? Dyatlov was going to introduce them to their kid and make them babysit?

"Now we can get down to business," Dyatlov said. "I took both of you for a specific reason – "

"I knew you wanted to kidnap me," Loki muttered as he stuffed a fry into his mouth. Tony elbowed him sharply and Loki punched him in the arm.

Dyatlov put a hand to his head. He didn't understand why they were so hard to deal with. "If you two do not stop, I will have Petrov here tie you back up!"

Tony and Loki stopped their fighting, looking up at Dyatlov with obedient smiles. "Now, Mr. Stark," Dyatlove started. "Mr. Odinson – I hope that – "

He didn't get to finish that thought as the warehouse doors bust open and a SWAT team swarmed into the room, guns pointed to Dyatlov and his men. Loki and Tony merely sat there and watched as their kidnappers were arrested, Loki stealing Tony's fries all the while.

A Week Later

Tony stood in the middle of Loki's studio, staring up at the ceiling patiently as Loki pinned the suit, taking last minute corrections. The cut of the suit alone impressed Tony, and he was displeased with himself for his candid attitude towards Loki in the past.

It might also be because they had a bonding experience together. Not everyone gets kidnapped together.

To be perfectly honest, they had never quite found out why Dyatlov had kidnapped them. Even after he and his men were arrested, no one had been willing to inform the kidnapped party who, or how, or even who, Dyatlov was. Everything was kept rather hush hush.

Most people didn't even know Loki and Tony had been missing for nearly fifteen hours. Considering their fame, it was probably for the best.

Loki wrapped his knuckles against the back of Tony's calf, saying, "You're all set." Tony stepped off the platform as Loki asked, "You need help getting that off?"

"You volunteering?" Tony teased.

"Don't lose any of those pins," Loki replied.

Once Tony had changed, he stood about the workshop, looking at drawings tacked to the wall. Loki really was talented, no matter how much it had pained him to admit. Now, well now Tony could admit quite a number of things, one of them being Loki was skilled.

"Don't you have a date, or a meeting, or something?" Loki asked, opening a can of Coke, handing Tony one as well.

"Thanks," Tony smiled, continuing to stare at the wall. "That's the dress Jane wore," he said, pointing at the sketch of the dress.

Loki nodded. "We're not friends, you know," he said.

"I never said we were," Tony replied as he sat in an empty chair.

Both men were quiet, sipping their drinks, taking in the sounds of Loki's helpers scrambling in the next room. "Why'd you want to make these wedding clothes so bad?" Tony asked. "I understand the dress, but everything else too? Why?"

Loki shrugged. "I like a challenge," he admitted. "And I knew you'd be impossible."

Tony laughed, raising his Coke in the air. As he lowered it he asked, "That it?"

"You only get one question," Loki tutted. "Now I get to ask one."

"Alright," Tony said. "Do your worst."

Loki tapped a finger against his lips in thought. He put his Coke onto a table and stalked towards Tony, leaning down so they were only a few inches apart. "Why are you marrying Janice Cord?"

Tony blinked. "What?"

"Why. Are. You. Marrying. Janice?" Loki asked again, enunciating each word. He tilted his head in question, unaware of how dry Tony's mouth was suddenly becoming.

Finding some satisfaction from Tony's silence, Loki stood back, taking look at his watch. "I've got another appointment, Stark," he said. "Good afternoon."

One Month Later

"You stand there," the wedding planner told Tony, pointing to the spot just to the right of the alter. Tony did as he was told, watching as the man left him to go take care of everyone else.

He watched the proceedings, completely disconnected to their actions. Weeks later and Tony was still mulling over Loki's question. The obvious answer was because he had to. His father had his heart set on the whole thing.

The merger was for business, the marriage was for – Tony furrowed his brow. What purpose did their marriage serve? They were buying out the Cords. Stark Industries had everything going for them. The winnings were all in Howard's favor.

Was he marrying Janice just to soothe Drexel Cord's wounded pride?

"Mr. Stark," the wedding planner shouted, snapping his fingers before Tony's eyes. Tony blinked, staring at the rest of the wedding party. "This is where you face the preacher." Tony turned to face the alter as the man rambled on.

Tony knew that as the son of Howard Stark, there was an economical, and no doubt, political, stigma associated with their name. He was expected to do great things. His pedigree was high above the rest and no back alley girl was going to become his wife. Tony had accepted that years ago.

But Loki had a point. Why was he marrying her? Janice was beautiful, yes, and smart, even. But she was still shallow, focused on unimportant things. They didn't even have anything in common. Their divorce was imminent.

"And then that's when you say 'I do,' and exchange rings, and all that other stuff," the wedding planner said. "Then you go back down the aisle, and everyone else follows."

Tony looked at the people in the room he didn't even know. Even his best man was a stranger, rather than Rhodey who he had fought to have. This entire wedding was a sham. No wonder Loki had wanted to do the wedding clothes.

The wedding was just a publicity stunt. He was milking it for all it was worth, not that Tony blamed him. He'd do the same.

The Next Day

Loki took his seat on the bride's side, watching as hundred of guests mingled about. There was still about twenty minutes until the ceremony and he should probably go network, but he really wasn't in the mood.

He didn't know why he was so irked. It was just a wedding. If anything, he ought to be preening. That suit Howard was wearing, his design. The dress the flower girl was running around in, his. Anyone of import was wearing his designs, touched and molded and created by him and here he was, pouting in the corner.

Honestly, it was disgusting. Loki had never felt more annoyed with himself. He'd stay for the ceremony and then go home for the reception. He wasn't in the mood to be surrounded by happy, party goers. He'd no doubt bring them all down with his cutting words and bored stare.

A man, no doubt the wedding planner, cleared his throat and asked everyone to take their seats. The music swelled and Loki watched disinterestedly as the procession began.

There was Tony, in his wedding suit, nervously walking towards his spot by the alter. He looked perfect. That was no doubt the suit's doing. Tony, on a good day, was barely good looking. Funny what the right clothes would do for you.

As Tony passed Loki, their eyes met and suddenly Loki couldn't breathe. Tony did not look like a man on his wedding day. He looked like a man being led to the gallows.

Loki stood abruptly, his chair knocking backwards, and Tony stopped to stare at him, the music petering out. Everyone turned to look at them and Loki bowed his head in apology, walking out of the room.

Tony watched him walk away. He didn't know Loki was going to be here. If he had – well Tony wasn't sure what he was going to do about it, but at least he would have been prepared.

He had hardly seen Loki since their mutual kidnapping. It was almost like it had never happened.

The music started up once more and Tony walked robotically to his assigned position. The bridesmaids, flower girl, ring bearer – they all followed him, taking their positions and Tony felt like this was all wrong.

Why was he marrying Janice Cord? Because he had been told to and didn't bother to fight it. That's the reason. And suddenly, Tony wasn't pleased at all with it.

He took a step out of place, and then another, loosening his bowtie as walked back down the aisle, towards the blushing bride. "Tony?" Janice asked as he passed her and made his way out of the room, following Loki's own actions not minutes before.

He could hear the commotion behind him and no doubt someone would be on his tail in seconds, but Tony finally felt free. He didn't have to marry Janice. It was such a refreshing thought.

Loki found his way into a bar not some blocks away from the hotel the wedding was taking place. "Manhattan, please," Loki ordered, taking off his coat and throwing it onto the stool beside him.

What on earth prevailed him to make a fool of himself at Tony Stark's wedding? God that was embarrassing. No doubt the reporters there were going to tear him apart, accusing him of who knew what in tomorrow's paper and magazines.

The bartender set his drink in front of him and Loki took it gratefully. Was it too early to drink? He supposed it was Happy Hour somewhere.

"Mind if I join you?"

Loki looked to the voice, only to find Tony Stark standing beside him, sans bowtie. "You've ruined the suit already," Loki commented.

"Always complaining," Tony groaned, setting Loki's coat on the back of his stool. "Give me one of those," Tony told the bartender, pointing at Loki's drink.

"Shouldn't you be getting married?" Loki asked. It seemed rather necessary to say. "Can't be over already."

Tony grinned. "I realized I didn't have to marry Janice. So I ducked out early."

Something warmed within Loki's chest. "They're going to come looking," Loki warned him.

"That's fine," Tony said. "I'll be here, getting drunk."

Both men lifted their glasses in a toast, downing their cocktails. "This doesn't mean we're friends," Loki felt like adding.

"Wouldn't dream of it," Tony replied. Later he'd be thrown under the bus; the papers would go wild about his abandonment of the bride, but for now he was content to drink with Loki in a cheap bar.

Author's Note: Augh! I'm all done! This was my contribution to the frostiron bang 2014. There's also art which you can find on my tumblr (andquitefrankly), the artist's tumblr (lomezzo), or the frostiron bang page :) I hope you enjoyed the fic. It wasn't what I set out to write (despite wanting to write a super cheesy rom-com), but this is what I ended up with and I kind of like it so...

Aardvark!