It was raining. Yes, that must have been what started it. Mr. Phantomhive was always a bit more down than usual on rainy days. They brought back memories of the fire, seeing as rain falls much in the same way as ash. On most occasions such as this, young Ciel would order his servants to stay away for the day, slipping meals through a crack in the door. On this day, however, it had slipped his mind. The order was left unsaid. There was a soft knock at the door.
"Yes? Who's there?" Ciel's voice cracked in the middle of his question.
"It's just me, master." Sebastian, the butler with the closest connection to the child, slipped through the door. "I simply wished to inquire as to what you might be wanting for supper... Master, are you alright?" He had noticed a single tear dripping down Ciel's cheek. A butler must be observant of his master's emotions, even if mostly blocked by a large chair and desk.
"I'm fine." Ciel sniffled and wiped the tear from view. "Now leave me."
"As you wish, master." The butler hesitated before turning to exit the room. He was pulling the door shut behind him when he heard a scream coming from the chair. "Master?!" Concerned for the boy, Sebastian burst back into the room. He rushed over to the desk and knelt down on one knee next to his sobbing master's chair. The scream he heard was much the same as one makes after severely injuring their leg; it was a sound of agonizing pain. "What's wrong? Are you hurt?"
"I- *sob* I'm fine! *sob* Now go *sob* away!" Ciel had curled up into a ball on his chair, his arms wrapped around his legs, face hurried in his knees, slowly rocking back and forth.
"Sir, let me assist you to your bed." Sebastian began to rise.
"No! I don't want to go to bed! And stop calling me 'master' or 'sir'. It's Ciel. That is my name and you shall call me by it."
"But sir-"
"It's. Ciel." He shot the butler a stern look.
Sebastian sighed. "Ciel, what's troubling you?" He put his hand on the boy's shoulder, displaying his concern for this outburst.
"I've told you." He turned away from the kind gesture. "It's nothing."
"If you insist..." He stood up and, once again, headed for the door. He made it half way across the study when he heard Ciel whimper softly.
"W- wait."
"Hm?"
"I- I'm sorry. Please come back?"
"Of course, master." Sebastian walked back to the crying child. This time, rather than assuming his previous position beside the chair, he knelt in front of it, facing his master directly.
"R- really. You can call me Ciel. I mean it."
"That would be improper."
"I- I don't mind. Really. It's- it's okay. I insist."
"Ciel."
"Yes?"
"Is there anything I can get you?"
"C-could you carry me to my room, please?"
"Of course. Your wish is my command."
Ciel lifted his arms, wrapping them around the butler's neck (much resembling a hug) as he was scooped up without trouble and carried down the hall. The boy was now limp as a rag doll aside from his arms, still embracing the muscular shoulders of the butler.
"Here we are. Allow me to help you into your night clothes." Sebastian set him down and took off his tailcoat before helping the boy to undress. After gently sliding him into his nightshirt, Sebastian slowly lowered himself to sit on his knees at Ciel's feet. Ciel, who's sobbing after all this timehasn't really let up, wiped his still flowing tears on his sleeve and hung his head.
"Ciel," Sebastian took him by the hand. "Please tell me what's got you so upset."
Tearing himself free, Ciel flung himself upon the butler with a deep longing for comfort. "Don't leave me, Sebastian. Don't ever leave me." He tightened his grip.
Sebastian was surprised by by this display at first. After a few seconds, he returned the embrace, pulling the boy's head to his chest with one hand and wrapping the opposite arm about his shoulders, holding him firmly to his torso. Ciel just sat there in his lap, crying violently, grasping the butler as if his life depended on it. They sat like this for nearly an hour. The only sound was the rain on the window and Ciel's staggered breathing between sobs. When the tears slowed and his sobs became less frequent, he began to realize something.
"Sebastian, why are you holding me?"
Sebastian paused for a moment before answering. "It is my duty as butler of the Phantomhive household to ensure my master's sanity is intact. What is it exactly that's got you in such a mood?"
Ciel sighed. "It's the rain. It brings back memories of my parents." He looks down in grief. "The way the light glistens off the droplets turns them a sickly gray colour, quite similar to the colour of the ash that fell that day. The day all I knew and loved went up in flames." He snuggled in closer to Sebastian, nuzzling his head against the butler's chest.
Sebastian began to caress the boy's head, running his gloved hand through his hair. Sebastian ALWAYS wore gloves. They hid the tattoo that kept his contract with Ciel. On this occasion, however, he felt it only appropriate he take them off. Ciel was the only other person there anyway. He bit the finger of his glove and carefully slid it off, then did the same with the other. Now, with his bare hands, he could properly hold his crying master and feel the boy's soft, delicate hair.
"Everything will turn out alright, Ciel," Sebastian whispered gently. "I promise. I will keep you safe." He bent down his neck, resting his cheek atop the child's head.
"Sebastian?" Ciel mumbled against the chest of his butler.
"Yes?"
Are you sure it's merely the contract binding you to me and nothing more?"
Sebastian sighed. "Yes, I'm sure."
"Oh." Ciel sounded a bit dismayed by the news. "Well I fear... I fear I cannot say the same."
"What do you mean?"
"I just mean... I mean to me, you are more than just a butler. I'm not entirely sure what this feeling is, but it's the closest I've come to having parents in years. It isn't quite the same, but it's close enough for me. Sebastian, I've thought on it for a long time now, and I've come to the conclusion that I love you. You're NOT simply a butler to me anymore. You are the closest thing to a father I will ever have again."
Sebastian knew not how to react to Ciel's confession. Should he stick to what he said before or should he tell the boy he felt the same, true or not? He didn't want to speak the truth and have the professionalism of his being a butler be blurred because of the boy's reaction. But he didn't want to lie either. If the master found out he had lied, he'd be furious. All Ciel would need to do would be to order that the truth be told and he would have no choice but to tell. Even demons aren't trained for this sort of situation. Ciel felt his butler becoming tense.
"What's wrong, Sebastian? Is it what I said?"
"No, sir. It's just I believe I left the oven on. I should go check."
"Can I come along?" Ciel looked up hopefully.
"Well, I certainly won't stop you." He smiled at the child's eagerness to tag along rather than keep to himself. Could it be that admitting his feelings has allowed his near-permanent depression to lessen? Sebastian sighed to himself, speaking under his breath. "Only time will tell..."
"What did you say?"
"Hm? Oh, nothing of importance. Just thinking aloud. Are we going?"
"Yes." Ciel climbed slowly out of Sebastian's lap, reluctant to leave his new-found sanctuary. Sebastian allowed him up and was reaching for his glows when Ciel grabbed his tattooed hand.
"No gloves. I like your hands. They're warm like Mother's were, but strong like Father's. Stronger, really."
"But my mark- the others mustn't know."
"I could do this." Ciel wrapped his other hand around the butler's so his palm covered the demonic emblem. "Well?"
"I suppose this shall work."
And so they left the room and headed for the kitchen. All the while Ciel wondered if what his butler said was true. Did he really not care beyond the contract? Perhaps it was wrong of him to show his feelings, especially in such a manner. After all, he is to spend a lifetime with Sebastian. Wouldn't want it to be awkward for eternity.
Thankfully, in their stroll down the hall, they didn't encounter any of the four other servants.
"There we go. Oven's off. Shall we go back to your room now?"
"No. I think I shall like to go and sit in the garden. The rain has stopped and the moon is rather bright tonight."
"In your night clothes?"
"Sure, why not?"
As they walked the silver moonlit path, it dawned on Ciel how late it must be. They reached the bench, but neither one sat.
"Ciel, are you not going to sit?"
"You sit first."
"... If you insist." Sebastian sat down on the bench and motioned for Ciel to sit beside him. When Ciel began toward the bench, the butler realized that it was not the bench Ciel was after, but his own lap instead! Rather than stopping the child or asking what he was up to, Sebastian merely moved his arms out of the way and welcomed the boy's advance. Ciel crawled up onto the butler' slap and snuggled in yet again. This time, Sebastian didn't hesitate to hold Ciel firmly in his arms. He strokes Ciel's hair sweetly and once more rested his cheek on the boy's head.
Ciel yawned. "Sebastian?"
"Yes?"
"I like it here."
"In the garden?"
"No. In your arms. It's soothing: the way you pull me close, how you run your hand through my hair, how you keep a firm grip around me as if you never want to let me go. Are you certain you're bound to me only by the contract? The way you hold me, the look in your eyes when I crawl into your arms, it seems as though there is something more."
"Well, I am one Hell of a butler," Sebastian smirked.
Ciel yawned again. "But do you think of me as more than your master? Oh, never mind. I'm too scared of what you might say. But, either way, could we at least pretend it's more? I do love a game."
"Of course, my lord. Only when we're alone though. Otherwise it really would be improper. Is that alright?"
"Woof." Ciel nuzzled in closer still and fell asleep.
Once Sebastian thought he was out, he lifted the sleeping child and carried him back to his room. After ticking him into bed, the butler decided it only fit to spend the night with his master.
As he sat down next to Ciel, he muttered something quietly to himself, "Only it won't be just pretend." It was then that a smile started to grow upon the innocent-looking Ciel's face.