Nyctophilia

Chapter 7

WARNING: This chapter was not beta read; I merely proofread this.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Fairy Tail, Hiro Mashima does.

Jellal shifted in what seemed to be multiple-layered clothing. He frowned, listening to the shuffling of Haru's feet on the wooden floor of their inn room. She had asked him to stay still, but…

"What am I wearing?"

Laughter rang in his ears and he couldn't help but smile back. "It's a kimono," she answered, her voice filled with delight and all things bright. "I looked for a yukata but they were all sold out, so this might be too hot to wear for the day. I chose the one with fewer layers and good silk though."

"Oh no," he groaned. "You spent money on this?"

"Well… Sora said that we looked out of place because of our clothes. I figured I'd go get us some traditional clothing while I went out to buy dinner last night."

He twisted his head to look over his shoulder—though he didn't really look—hoping that she would be intimidated by his sightless eyes. "How much was this?"

"It's cheap, I promise," she replied evasively. "It looks good on you!"

He felt his face go warm. "What color is it?"

"Black with white cranes on the bottom. You look better in these kinds of clothes—we should update your wardrobe while we're here."

"They're expensive, Haru."

"They sell them at a really cheap price though, and they have good designs!"

"Only if you wear them, too."

"I will, I promise."

He felt his lips twitch and it was impossible not to smile. They were getting so much better at whatever this was. They were gathering promises like seashells on the beach shore, beautiful and fragile, easy to lose on the way home. But he didn't mind. He felt at peace this way and it was easy to ignore the world while they talked.

Today was the day when they were going to meet the healer. He was skeptic about the whole ordeal, but Haru was too high-spirited for him to say no. He had no doubt that this healer would do no good. In fact, he was almost positive that he would forever be blind. Somehow, the prospect of never seeing again wasn't all that scary anymore with Haru by his side.

"All done!"

He heard Haru step back—to survey her work, probably. He began to get a feel of his new clothes. He could tell that they were made from fine material and he doubted it was cheap, but since Haru insisted… Perhaps Komorebi was simply a paradise.

"You definitely look better now," she commented, humming slightly as her footsteps padded further away from him. "Now, time for me to change as well."

Ah, he wanted to see her.

Something had changed between them last night. Whatever it was, he wanted it to remain that way forever. Was it selfish of him to wish for her to always be by his side? Perhaps. She had a life outside of their little world. He had nothing, but he was sure that she had friends and a family and so much more than a blind man trying to find his path in life.

He wanted to see her. He wanted to put a face to the name that gave him the push to keep walking. It was during these times that he felt hatred for the fact that he was sightless. And normally, it would never go away. It would burn and burn until he ran out of energy to hate. With Haru, he could rest. It was alright that he was blind because in the end, if she was truly sticking with him to return his sight, then he could finally see her when the time came.

Maybe that's what kept him going all along.

By the time Jellal had finished his musings, Haru's feet were once again softly tapping towards him, silk hissing and sighing amongst each other and the windows rattling from a sudden gust of wind. Beyond their little inn room, the streets buzzed with excitement. Laughter and conversations mingled together. It was easier to differentiate the sounds now than before. Maybe this was his body's way of compensating for his lack of sight, therefore strengthening his other four senses.

Jellal didn't know whether he was grateful or bitter.

"I would ask you about my appearance," Haru began suddenly, laughing, "but I obviously can't."

He smiled crookedly. "That's true." He carefully tucked his hands into—hopefully—the sleeves of his kimono. "Tell me about yours."

"Hm, well…"

A slight shuffle made him think she was nervous because she didn't seem to go anywhere, but he didn't want to assume anything. "It's, uh, blue. A deep blue, actually. It's my favorite color, so I chose this one that's like the night sky with white lined mountains at the bottom. The obi is a very white silk, with a gold link tying it all together. Originally, I was going to get the one with the cranes as well but someone got to it first."

Absentmindedly, he nibbled on his lower lip. "I wish I could see it," he told her.

Silence.

"I wish you could see me, too."

.

.

Click. Clack. Click.

The gentle clicking of their geta on the pavement tethered him to the ground. It stood out from the excited thrumming of Komorebi, a rhythmic reminder of their little world as they walked side by side, clad in their traditional kimono and linked together by a delicate piece of cloth.

Naughty strands of hair tickled the tip of his nose whenever the wind would greet them hello. It made him think of Ultear, how she would always complain about his nest of a hair and trim it with precision. He remembered afternoons with his two friends—Meredy humming a childhood song while the scissors snipped and snapped every few seconds, blue strings falling to the ground like leaves turning away to prepare for the cold. And of course, how could he forget seeing the world despite having his hair cover his eyes?

He should have never taken his sight for granted. Never.

He smelled spring and was drawn away from his thoughts immediately. Haru's presence beside him was strong and bright like the sun on a clear, summer day. It chased away the shadows in his mind. Cleared out the cobwebs and kept the gears turning. He didn't know how she did it, but he would not want anything else than this.

"Hungry?"

Jellal was surprised. Not from the sudden question or from how close her voice sounded, but because he had already known she would speak. "A little," he admitted, lifting his free hand to rub the back of his neck. "What time is it?"

"Just a little before sunset."

"That late already?"

"Yes."

He wondered if the sky was aflame, or if it was a swirl of pinks and oranges.

Oh right, he thought to himself. Komorebi was a dome of towering trees. The sky wouldn't be seen from here.

"Do you want to grab a snack before we meet the healer?"

Jellal nodded wordlessly. To be honest, he didn't want to meet the healer. It seemed too real, too easy, when he had gone through hell after losing his sight. But he didn't want to disappoint Haru, much less make her sad because of his pessimism, so he reluctantly allowed himself to be dragged away.

The air was still thrumming with excitement from the festivities. It was calming, being in the middle of a buzz that concealed them from the world. Jellal didn't know what would happen once they left the comfort of Komorebi at last. Traveling seemed like the only option available—they couldn't very well stay in one place too long.

A strong, buttery and cocoa scent attacked his nostrils, effectively disrupting his train of thought.

"Cinnamon rolls?"

Haru laughed gently. "Not quite." The mystery food was carefully placed into his hands, fresh and warm and—

A smile split his lips. "Taiyaki?" he tried again, though he didn't need much confirmation after getting a feel of the snack. It was fish-shaped.

"Another one, please," he heard Haru say, followed by the chink of coins and the sound of paper being folded. Moments later and they resumed walking. By the weight of the cloth on his wrist, he presumed Haru was using her right hand to eat like he was using his left.

When he bit into the taiyaki, he tugged Haru closer to him.

He smiled when he heard her stumble.

.

.

Her geta clacked loudly as she caught her balance, her arm pressing against Jellal's. She clamped her lips together and swallowed a yelp. She also didn't fail to notice the smile on his lips.

Lucy thanked the heavens that he was blind to the flush spreading quickly down her neck.

"So…" he drawled, biting once again into his snack, "who exactly is this healer?"

Like their previous discussions, she couldn't give him a concrete answer. Did she want to tell him? Though the prospect of telling him that the healer was an enigma was tempting, she knew it would only bring more doubt than assurance. So she settled for the safest answer she could possibly give that was close to the truth.

"From what I've gathered, she's a traveler. Some have claimed that her permanent residence is in Pergrande though," Lucy explained, sighing through her nose as she looked up at the domed sky. "They say she chooses who she will heal."

"Huh, so I'll be judged."

She glanced at him sharply. "No, of course not."

"Then what?"

"Some wounds can heal on their own. If it's too much to handle, she'll likely agree to heal them," Lucy paused, adding, "probably."

She caught his lips twisting and resisted a smile. "Probably?" he repeated with disbelief. "Are you sure this person's alright?"

"You'll be fine."

Jellal grimaced. "That sounds very reassuring."

At last, she laughed, shaking her head and twisting her wrist around until she was clutching at the cloth between them. A second later and a chuckle of his own followed her.

Lucy nibbled on a crusted edge of her taiyaki. "Surely, she'll consider you." She then added quietly for only her ears to hear, "She has to."

Jellal sighed. "I'm a criminal, Haru."

"Oh, she doesn't care about that," she reassured him confidently. That, she was truly sure about. The healer was said to see through the soul, hence why she chose her patients well. Lucy was positive Jellal had a clearer soul than most out there. She would even bet her keys that he was purer than her, considering all of the thoughts she'd conjured up in the past few months. And the sins. And the—

"I'm starting to question the existence of this healer of yours."

Lucy hummed in response, choosing to bask in the silence instead. Though the city was getting dark, the warm street lights provided enough visibility for the people, making it quite an enjoyable atmosphere. Calming, to be more precise. She wondered why Magnolia had never felt like this. Not that she hated the sun—it was much loved. But she supposed that sometimes, too much could get tiring. Magnolia was all blue skies and glaring sunrays. Whereas Komorebi was bonfires and hot chocolates. To be exact, it felt like a fluffy comforter.

She adjusted the sleeve of her kimono and lifted her skirts, beginning to carefully walk down the steps to the stall designated for the healer. Apparently, she didn't like crowds and tended to have her business away from the main path and plaza. If Lucy hadn't asked Sora, they probably would have never found her.

"Damn these geta," she heard Jellal mutter to himself, "Now I remember why I never liked traditional wear."

Lucy suppressed another giggle, smiling instead. "We can replace them for zōri, if you want."

"Please."

The desperation in his voice undid her and she doubled over, laughing.

"Alright."

Jellal shook his head, muttering something incomprehensible under his breath as she continued to amuse herself. With gentle fingers, she held his arm, guiding him down the stairs.

"Are we going off path?" he questioned, a brow perking upwards.

A hum was her only response.

The steps ended after a short right turn, leading to an alleyway lined with fairy lights. Lucy hesitated at the mouth of the alley, considering their means of escape lest things went south. Though she found comfort in the fact that Komorebi was a city of peace, she couldn't help but worry.

Not wanting Jellal to sense her concern, she tugged him forwards and into the long corridor.

A few heartbeats later and Jellal frowned. "Huh, air seems… colder here."

Lucy nodded, forgetting for a while that he couldn't see her. "We're in an alley, the wind must be spiraling downwards. Do you want your haori?"

"Ah, no, I can still manage. I just noticed."

Silence enveloped them while they continued their walk. Every now and then, she would warn him of a bump on the path or a root protruding from the ground but other than that, they were quiet. So quiet that she could barely hear anything over the blood pounding in her ears and the wind howling through the gaps in the trees. The sound of their geta had blended into the rustling of the leaves, disappearing into nature itself. She mumbled a low warning and waited for him to feel around for the rock on the ground before continuing on.

Lucy pondered about this change. Though she knew something was brewing between them, she refused to acknowledge it. To form a bond with Jellal had not been her intention although it was perhaps inevitable. Still, she had simply wanted to save him, and in the process, save herself.

She hated that she didn't mind as much. She was better than this. This was the man her friend had been in love with for years and she—she was simply an outsider in their story, a side character that served only to make the story progress. A chapter in their lives to assure the happy ending that the readers were looking forward to. So she… she could not be anything more than that.

Lucy smiled bitterly to herself. But who was she kidding? She could at least enjoy being in the spotlight for once, even if it was only temporary, and be the character everyone would be reading about.

What a terrible way of life, she thought to herself. She should at least think herself better than that.

Lucy glanced at Jellal. His hair needed trimming. His bangs had done a splendid job at covering his sightless eyes and stubble covered his chin. She found herself staring at his lips and observed. There was nothing special about them. Thin and chapped. There was even a small amount of leftover chocolate on the corner of his mouth that she wanted to wipe away. Yet she kept staring, until the clack of their geta brought her back to reality and she turned away.

"Would you like to have your hair trimmed, Jellal?"

A conversation to distract her thoughts from dangerous territory.

"Hn, sure. Why not?"

"What about a shave?"

He grunted, his left hand coming up to caress his chin. "That bad?"

She couldn't help but smile. "Just a stubble, but I figured I'd ask."

"Then if it's alright with you."

"Of course."

Finally, the alleyway broke into an open clearing with a single stall in the middle. It was a caravan with a purple cloth over the entrance. An old wooden sign saying 'Leave or be damned' pierced the ground in front of it. Lucy tilted her head to the side and walked closer to the sign. Beneath the large, rude statement was a smaller set of words.

The Goddess of Healing does not bless anyone blindly. To be blessed means to face the unwanted. To be blessed means to accept the truth. Only the fearless shall be granted an audience with Her Grace.

The Healer is inside.

Lucy blinked in surprise and curiosity, turning behind her to look at her companion.

Was he fearless?

She winced. Probably not.

"Well, she's inside," Lucy informed him, deciding not to tell him what the sign said. Telling him might make him nervous. She needed him to be fearless.

But just to be sure… "Are you nervous?"

His answer was immediate. "No."

She exhaled in relief. "Alright, let's go."

Noting the steadiness of his fingers, she nodded to herself and tugged him towards the caravan. For some reason, the ground flattened before him, rocks scuttling away from his feet and roots slithering away before she could even open her mouth to give out a warning.

Impressed, she could only stay silent until they had finally arrived in front of the caravan. The archway had runes carved into the wood, some too old for her to decipher while the most recent ones she could manage. The majority of the runes were there for safety and protection which she could understand. On the right side of the entrance was a bell with a string attached to it. A sign below read: Ring once for the servant. Twice for a meal. Thrice for the healer.

"What do you see?" Jellal piped up from behind her, worried at the tense silence.

"It says here to ring the bell three times for the healer."

"Oh," he said dumbly. "Then, what are you waiting for?"

She did not know herself.

Drawing in a deep breath, she reached for the string and clutched it in her fingers. Thrice for the healer, she repeated mentally. No more, no less.

She tugged it once.

Twice.

The final ring was a gentle twinkle, barely heard from the whistling of the wind around them. Yet within seconds, there was a thud heard from inside the caravan, followed by another, and an ancient curse. Then, the purple curtain was swept to the side by some unknown force and a freezing cold wind was blown outwards.

"Enter," a voice permitted, feminine but stern. It brought chills to Lucy's skin.

She swallowed hard and reached for Jellal's hand. "Let's go," she whispered and together, they entered the caravan.

Lucy didn't know what she had expected, but it was certainly not this.

The inside was spacious, contrary to the outside appearances of the old vehicle. Knickknacks and jars filled with different colored liquids filled the unending line of shelves. It was dark save for the soft glow of blue lights hanging from the low ceiling, and Lucy had to duck many times to avoid slamming into them. The sounds they had heard earlier had vanished, leaving peaceful tranquility, their geta near-silent on the carpeted floor.

She felt Jellal shift closer to her, the silk of his kimono hissing and sighing. She tightened her grip on his hand and felt him squeeze back.

"Turn right," the voice said again, echoing all around them.

A door that had not been there before appeared to Lucy's right indeed, swinging open quietly on oiled hinges. She noted that the inside was much brighter and walked in, dragging Jellal with her. As expected, the door closed behind them. She found herself wishing she had left him outside while she spoke to the healer.

The room had a simple wooden round table in the middle with three chairs and bookshelves leaning against one wall. Rather than blue illumination, the lights were a warm yellow, making for a hazy atmosphere that was identical to Komorebi's sunsets. On one side of the room, a small kitchen sat with a pot on the stove, close to boiling. Another door clicked open, this time from the left, and they both whirled around to look—one of them, at least. A woman clad in a long, black sleeved dress strolled in, carrying a book in her hand and a cat in the other.

Lucy blinked, her surprised brown eyes clashing with golden irises.

"Ah," the woman realized, snapping the book close with her fingers. "The boy sits over there." She glanced at the right chair at the table and wordlessly walked past them, placing the cat on the kitchen counter and sliding the book into the bookshelf.

Recovering from her shock, Lucy snapped into action, untying the cloth that linked her and Jellal's wrists together. She guided him towards the chair.

"What does she look like?" he whispered in her ear.

She flushed, ignoring the goosebumps that prickled her skin. "Later," she murmured back, straightening just in time for the woman—or the healer—to return with the teapot and cups.

The woman pushed a teacup into Jellal's hands while she took a seat. "Drink," she ordered.

Jellal, though flabbergasted and confused, did as he was told.

Her long, snow-white hair fell over her shoulder as she turned to Lucy. "You," she started, pointing a finger at her face. "You did not tell him about the sign."

How did she—

Lucy lifted her chin, meeting the eyes of the healer without a bout of fear. "He is blind. Do you expect blind people to be able to know about your little sign? What if they were alone? What would you do then?"

She steadied her heart, daring the woman to push.

Suddenly, the healer laughed, shaking her head and pushing another teacup into Lucy's hands. She smirked. "What a clever girl. Well, no matter. No one is supposed to see the words beneath the sign anyway."

Lucy frowned. "Then how…?"

"Only those touched by the heavens can read the sign," the woman explained, her gaze flicking to the concealed keys inside Lucy's kimono. Golden eyes twinkled with delight. "What brings you here, girl?"

"First, your name," Lucy demanded, ignoring the hiss Jellal gave her. She almost smiled to herself. "It would be weird to keep calling you 'the healer' in my head."

"Ah, point taken." Said healer gestured for her to sit down. "I have many names, but I suppose you can call me Uzume." She pressed her fingertips together in front of her, eyes on the blue-haired male before her. "And if my memory serves me right, this should be that criminal, Fernandes."

Jellal stiffened in his seat and Lucy quickly moved to block him from her. Uzume took notice of this and hummed. "Interesting," she stated, clapping her hands together.

"Alright, what do you need?"

Lucy fisted her hands, resisting the urge to simply slap the woman. "He needs—"

"Not you, stupid girl," Uzume interrupted, narrowing her eyes at Lucy in warning. "I asked the boy."

Her teeth clacked loudly as she clamped her mouth shut. This healer was getting on her nerves but she was more afraid than angry. If Uzume rejected Jellal… what would they do then?

"Well?" Uzume pressed, brow lifting. "I don't have all day."

Jellal pursed his lips. "You know what I want."

"Oh, I do," the healer cooed, smile serpentine. "But do you?"

What?

"I wouldn't be here if I didn't, yes?" Jellal said slowly, blinking once out of habit.

Uzume leaned forward and propped her chin on the palm of her hand. "Oh?" she drawled in amusement. "Girl, leave us."

"But—"

"I'll be fine," Jellal reassured her. "Go."

Lucy sighed and stood up. "Alright." Reluctantly, she moved to the door, looking behind her once. Uzume wiggled her fingers. She clenched her jaw.

She better not do anything to Jellal.

With one final glance, she exited the room and closed the door.

.

.

"I do not heal unwilling patients."

Jellal faced the healer, frowning. "Are you saying I'd rather be blind?"

"Ask yourself that, Fernandes." He swore he could hear the smirk in her voice. This healer was a handful. "How long have you been traveling with that girl?"

"Three days." Had it only been just three days?

There was the clink of porcelain. "You do not know the girl." She said it in a way that left no room for answers, so he didn't bother replying. "Are you sure you should be traveling with a stranger who keeps her identity a secret?"

He bristled, fists clenching. "She's why I'm here."

"Then why do your words contradict with your heart?"

Jellal wished he could see this woman, put a face to the voice that seemed to bring the ugliness and truth out of him. He swallowed hard. "Just—Just heal me, please."

A slight pause. "No."

He shuddered with something he didn't care to admit. "Why?"

"Tell me," she demanded, "what will you do once you get your sight back?"

Jellal's forehead creased in confusion. "What—"

"Where will you go?"

"I—"

"Will the girl stay?"

He sucked in a trembling breath.

She had said something before, about her involvement in his life. Though it remained unsaid, he knew it wasn't a permanent deal. She was bound to leave once he gained his sight back. For what reason, she probably would never say. But he knew she wasn't here to stay.

"No," he answered, slowly, as if realizing himself, "no, she won't."

Uzume hummed in acknowledgement. "Shame then," she said with a sniff. "You will not see her face. Still quite young. I'd even go so far as to call her pretty."

He felt a flicker of curiosity take its hold. This woman obviously knew which buttons to press. But he wouldn't ask her about Haru no matter how much he wanted to. He respected Haru more than that. He would not succumb to his wants. Just this once, let him do something right.

"Please heal me."

Uzume huffed. "The Goddess does not give Her blessing to those who do not want it."

He pleaded, "Please. I do want it—I do."

The rustle of pages being flipped filled the gaps between their conversation, followed by a cat's soft meowing somewhere behind him.

Metal clinked on porcelain.

"Let me tell you why She says no," Uzume began, the sigh leaving her not going unnoticed by his now-sensitive ears. She didn't hesitate. "You may think that you want your sight back when in reality, you do not."

He halted, his breath stilling in his chest as his fingers curled into tight fists.

"Because as much as you hated it at first, it does not feel the same anymore. The days are not so lonely. The darkness does not seem as frightening as it was before. Why is that?"

He knew—of course, he knew.

"That girl," Uzume said, her voice sharp and merciless. "She is now your eyes in the dark. She makes you walk even though you have legs. Makes you live though you are not dead."

Jellal was silent, counting every beat of his heart to the brutal truth being laid bare before him. To the one thing he could not admit even to himself.

"And as you said so yourself, she is not here to stay," she continued, her voice all around him. Like she was circling him. Like she was inside his head. "She will leave the moment you see again though she will not tell you why. She will leave you not because of you but because of herself, and you will not be able to stop her unless you know her. But you don't. You don't really know her. And as long as it remains that way, she will always have one foot out the door."

Jellal didn't realize he was shaking. He shook so hard that the chair rattled and his tea spilled onto his hand.

Either Uzume didn't notice or she didn't care. "So you do not want to see again. You would rather remain in the dark, lost in this endless void, if it means being next to her day after day."

There it was.

It was his shameful secret. The one desire he wanted more than anything else in the world.

The healer sighed, tutting. "She will not rest until she gets your sight back. And even then, you will only be prolonging the inevitable."

"I…" he trailed off. What did he want? Was there really no way out of it?

"The girl is in trouble," Uzume warned, and he could feel her eyes on him. "For that one reason only, she will keep her identity a secret from you. Unless you somehow find a way to break her out of her shell, she will always leave."

Hope bloomed like the first breath of spring.

"But don't count my word for it. Even for someone like me, those touched by the heavens are difficult to read," Uzume admitted, huffing in ire. She muttered something that he couldn't quite catch. "I have told you what it is in your heart, boy. What do you wish to do with it?"

He gently put down the teacup and lowered his head. "I… I had known. But I didn't—I wanted to believe I was still miserable this way. I didn't want to believe I would rather remain blind if it meant having her by my side."

There was a silence that told him more than words ever could.

"Does she… look at me with pity?"

Uzume chuckled. "The girl does not look at anyone with such a disgusting thing. She is pure but her soul is troubled. Do not worry about her. Her concern is genuine."

Jellal breathed in relief. "Thank you."

She hummed once again. "Are you not curious about her appearance?" she asked teasingly.

He felt his face warm. "I-I am. But…" he unconsciously tousled his hair in an old habit of embarrassment, "I respect her. She can tell me in her own time and I will wait."

"Good." Was she smiling? "I am afraid this is it. I truly cannot heal the unwilling. But the doors will always be open for you when you are ready."

They stood at the same time. "Until we meet again, Fernandes," he found his hand encased in two smaller ones and he nodded in return. "Go. The girl is waiting."

"But I can't—"

A finger pressed to his lips. "The path is clear to those who are lost," she whispered in his ear, and a soft twinkle sounded in the distance. "Now go."

A/N: I enjoyed writing this chapter! I apologize for the late update, but I've been busy. I'm graduatin in a month! I hope you guys liked the chapter. Hmm, I don't really have much to say. I appreciate all the reviews sent from the last update, so I hope I get to read more from you guys!

"I hated knowing what I wanted and knowing what was right and knowing they weren't the same thing." — Maggie Stiefvater, Forever

Byee! -Anne :D

- Please support/read my other stories: Celebrity Issues, The Devil and the Assassin, Fragile, Life's Challenges, Forgotten Memories, Queen of Stars, A Love That Lasts Forever and Going Against The Current.