I feel the need to explain this project before I begin.

In the 1970's a television show called SOAP ran for four very successful seasons before it at last stopped airing - its creators never expected it to be such a success, mainly because it was written as a spoof on all daytime soap operas of the day. It was a bizarre show, filled with everyday occurrences such as demonic possession, adultery, kidnapping, embezzlement, murder, and the list goes on, but most of all it was full of LAUGHTER.

I myself am not a comedic writer; the majority of my work is science fiction of fantasy. I spent several weeks toying with the idea of taking a fandom by storm with an interesting mix of drama, humor, and unbelievable happenstances before I chose Super Smash Brothers Brawl, mostly because of the freedom it gives the writer (being a hybrid of many different video games). But I digress.

So here it is. Review often, review kindly, but most of all, LAUGH.

The Jeep's tires crunched over the gravel and slowed to a stop in front of a three-story beach house, and Link was the first to poke his head out of the top of the vehicle to investigate. It was pretty much what the real estate agent had advertised it would be: just a lakefront cottage (though the term 'mansion' might have been more accurate) with a large gravel driveway, a massive backyard, and a sandy sidewalk that wended down to the lake. The trees that towered around it were old and strong and provided the grounds with excellent shade on sunny days; Link found that he was pleased with their temporary residence.

Ike cut the engine and hopped out of the Jeep, heading up the driveway with a little less enthusiasm. "Is this it?"

Link vaulted out of the back, not bothering to retrieve his bag, and looked worriedly at Marth; the prince, thankfully, seemed to share the Hylian's optimism. "How quaint. It's exactly what we wanted, isn't it?"

They shouldered their gear and treaded up the path after Ike, who led the way inside looking slightly harrassed. "Remind me again what the point of all this is? I had a great training facility, unlimited supplies..."

"It's exactly that kind of uptight attitude that landed you here with us," Link informed the stockier swordsman, flashing a wink Marth's way. "You need to learn how to relax, big guy - look at this place! Sun, sand, water, and there's a liquor store within walking distance. The city's only a few miles up the road, and you know that girls are gonna dig this place..."

At the mention of women Ike's face softened, and instead of griping aloud he decided to mumble beneath his breath; Marth and Link smiled at one another.

"The backyard is large enough to train in, Ike, I wouldn't worry," Marth informed his friend, peeking out the blinds at the grassy slopes behind the cottage - it was incredibly spacious and well-shaded, thanks to all the trees. "This place is enormous... how many bedrooms...?"

"Sixteen, according to that real estate lady who talked me into renting it," shouted Link from the kitchen, and he dumped his gear on the dining room table for the moment being while Ike raided the fridge. "I don't believe this place... three levels, a sublevel, an industrial-sized kitchen, a pool around the side, a boat dock on the lake, and the fridge is even fully-stocked! And I'm pretty sure you can access the roof from the third floor - did we score or what?"

"You and your visions," scoffed Ike, his mouth full of cold chicken. "Still... it has potential."

"Somebody's finally coming around!" exclaimed Link, elbowing his comrade in the ribs, and scooping up his equipment he called, "I think I'll just snag a room on this floor - closer to the kitchen - and start getting unpacked. Marth?"

"A room next to yours, I suppose." The slender swordsman followed Link to the east wing on the first floor and let his belongings pile on the floor beside his new bed; outside his window the lake glistened in the sun, perfect and pristine. He kicked off his supple brown boots and unclasped his belt, letting his sword fall to the ground. "Link - do you think anyone else will come?"

The Hylian's laughter rang from down the hall, as though he found Marth's skeptism amusing. "Are you kidding? Look at this place! They'll be beating the door down to spend a summer here with us - I know for a fact that Pit is coming later this afternoon, and he said he was bringing a friend... And what's a party without Falco? He'll spend a week or two here at least."

Ike stalked into Marth's room, clearly displeased that he hadn't gotten to choose his room first, before backing out and turning down the hall, settling for the room on Marth's right.

None of them were at all interested in wasting the day unpacking, so as soon as their essential items were stored away they explored the rest of the house. There were pleasant surprises at every turn - the sublevel housed an in-home bar, entertainment center, and pool table, while the third floor opened out onto a sun deck complete with jacuzzi - and, as it turned out, the roof was accessible from the sun deck, a feature they knew they would all enjoy once they'd gotten unpacking out of the way. Link and Marth headed down the path to comb the lake, pleased to hear from their neighbors that the wildlife department allowed fishing, boating, and swimming in the nearby waters, and when in half an hour or so they had returned, Ike was waiting for them on the rear-facing patio with a beer in his hand.

"We've got company already," he told them gruffly, quaffing half his drink in two gulps, "and they brought their stuff, so I'm guessing they're planning on staying."

In the foyer the pair were happy to find Pit, the former kid leader of Palutena's grand army, in the company of Kirby, a denizen and hero of Dreamland, with a great deal of luggage in tow; they shook hands and greeted each other fondly before gathering up all the traveling gear and hauling it up to the third floor (where both Pit and Kirby had decided to reside). The room Pit selected was eclectic, interesting; it seemed to be a former greenhouse - all its walls were made of glass.

"Looks like you won't be spending any time naked up here," Link joked, and he dashed out laughing when Pit looked disappointed.

Most of the equipment turned out to be Pit's - Kirby needed very few things to survive, besides a great deal of food - and Link found the plumpy pink creature reclining in a tanning chair on the sun deck, already napping and snoring contentedly; smiling to himself, pleased at how his newest harebrained scheme was developing, he bounded downstairs to check on Ike.

He found Ike, and the crown prince Marth, both relaxing in the shade of the back porch.

"I changed my mind," Ike told him when he stepped out onto the warm floorboards to join them. "I like this place. It's pretty sweet."

"How many beers has he had?" Link asked, frowning over at Marth, who was enjoying a lemonade.

"I'm not absolutely certain..." Marth ran a hand through the navy-blue strands of his hair, thinking. "I think perhaps three."

Link shook his head and laughed. "No wonder he likes the place. At this rate he'll be passed out by dinnertime - and we'll be out of booze! Thank God the liquor store is within walking distance..."

The afternoon continued to pass in a similar fashion, filled with states of half-hearted unpacking and boisterous conversation, until around seven o' clock when the doorbell pinged off the walls of the cottage, announcing more guests. Link was the first to the door, followed by an enthusiastic Pit -

The man at the door was not someone they had been expecting, but they were still thrilled to see him - Lucario, the Aura Pokemon, the last of his kind and certainly the most exceptional.

"...Lucario! I don't believe it! You actually came!" exclaimed Link, taking the Pokemon's lightly-packed knapsack off his shoulder and ushering him inside. "Come in! There are rooms open on every floor still, where - ?"

I have brought a friend, echoed Lucario's smooth-as-velvet voice in their minds, stopping Pit from shutting the door by extending a paw out behind him, and they all glanced out the door and into the driveway. Beside Ike's Jeep the Dragoon hovered serenely, the mode of transportation that had delivered Kirby and Pit to their doorstep, and directly behind it was a black luxury sportscar of very expensive import, out of which stepped Meta Knight, his cloak trailing behind him in a breeze.

"My greetings," said Meta Knight when he joined the others at the top of the stair, and while Link shook his hand Pit ogled the sleek black car with a slightly open mouth, completely awed.

"That sportscar is AMAZING, Meta, is it YOURS?!" stammered the angel.

"Of course not," grated Meta Knight, and he slipped past Link and disappeared into the basement to unpack his belongings. Link and Pit both turned their attentions onto Lucario, who smiled in his own peculiar way with his eyes.

Yes, it is mine, he assured them telepathically, retrieving his knapsack from its peg near the door and traipsing off after Meta Knight; both men followed him, still at a loss for words. I could not resist, you see; I have a weakness for very fast vehicles, and I assure you, gentlemen, that THAT is VERY fast.

Link shook the stupor vigorously from his mind as they followed Lucario to the largest room in the basement, all the way at the back of the sublevel in the west wing, and said, "Something tells me that you're going to fit in really well here."

They played poker, all seven of them, on the spacious back porch while the sun sank ever lower toward the sparkling surface of the nearby lake; Kirby took the Dragoon into town for pizza, and they relived the epic battles against Tabuu and Subspace over various alcoholic beverages until a very late hour. One by one they vanished into the house for a bit of sleep, certain that more of their fellows would turn up in the morning, certain that their antics were only just beginning.

Link was closing up the sun deck when he noticed Pit, wrapped in a town from the waist down and heading toward the spa room at the opposite end of the third floor; he slung a friendly arm around the angel's shoulders and steered him to a halt just outside the door. He could hear the water running; steam was pouring from the crack between the bottom of the door and the carpet.

"Showertime?" asked Link with a smile, and Pit nodded, returning the gesture of friendship. "Let me ask you a question, Pit - do you know most useful thing about soap?"

Pit's smile disappeared, and he regarded Link as a sane person considers an asylum patient. "Uh... it gets you clean?"

Link leaned companionably against the wall beside the door, crossing his arms and gazing at Pit as though preparing to share a bit of infinite wisdom. "Everybody knows that, but let me tell you something that someone once told me. When Zelda and I were kids and she was still in Impa's care, Impa told me that 'the most important thing about a bar of soap is not that it cleanses our skin, but that it washes away the difficulties of a day gone by, so that we can enjoy another day when we wake'. To be honest, Impa always scared me a little when I was young, but something about what she said stuck with me... that was fifteen years ago, you know, and I remembered every word. Strange, huh?"

And he shrugged away from the wall, leaving Pit to mull over what he had just said, yawning and stretching as he retreated downstairs.

Pit paused outside the spa room for a moment longer, then chuckled beneath his breath and went inside.