Disclaimer:
Criminal Minds is the property of The Mark Gordon Company in association with CBS and ABC (cause everyone wants a piece of it!)

Three Wishes

(or lucky blackbird)

Chapter One

"The best way of keeping a secret is to pretend there isn't one."
― Margaret Atwood,

Jennifer Jareau marched through the truncated halls of BAU to that den of technological iniquity affectionately called 'the lair.' She was still trying to calculate the wording of her reports and the facts that were necessary versus the missing ones. Only that distraction could explain why she didn't hear the voices until she was right on top of the open doorway.

"I'm not having this conversation, Reid!" Garcia sounded irritated but tender, as she always was when it came to matters involving their savant.

"Garcia, something is wrong. You can't tell me you haven't noticed. I've noticed and I'm the most socially oblivious and inept member of the team! She's reticent, withdrawn, detached and uncommunicative." Spencer, on the other hand, was nearly at fever pitch. He was speaking with a speed and passion of a machine gun, sounding as though his thoughts were about to make his head explode.

"Aren't some of those synonyms?" Penelope "Omniscient Goddess of All Unknowable" was trying to break through Reid's obsessive rant.

"They're adjectives with close parallel definitions but fundamentally dissimilar roots and meanings!" Reid sounded close to either a heart attack or tears. His high speed brain didn't deal well with any kind of obstacle on the tracks. Before Garcia's humor or ration could break the poor boy's brain JJ crossed the threshold.

"Pen, I need a little more information before I can finish this report on the Seattle case. Can you pull phone records to confirm if Justin Leu and and Nathan Chow had any contact after he left his class? Something had to have kept that boy's memory and paper fresh in the teacher's mind." JJ did an instant sweep of the room, hating herself momentarily for using profiling skills on her friends but ultimately unable to resist. The phone vibrating in her pocket distracted her focus and she pulled it out, thumbing a rejection of the call before turning her attention back to the oddly dumbfounded occupants.

"Right, phone records. I can do that in three blinks and a lick of ice cream. Should I just bring them to you?" Garcia jerked her attention back to her comfortingly familiar computer screens. Reid was still looking at JJ, his eyes doing a dance between her face and the phone in her pocket with the clear expression of a child trying to solve a puzzle. She'd seen Henry display the exact same face when trying to work out which parent to beg for candy. The phone in her pocket vibrated again, the shorter staccato of a text message and she ignored it.

"Yes, please." JJ nodded and turned to leave.

"Are you ok?" Reid blurted out then suddenly realized his error, "That's a stupid question. It forces you to the inevitable answer that everything is fine when obviously it isn't. I think what I meant was," Spencer tended to look at the floor when he was rambling but he suddenly took a deep breath and met her eyes, "I can tell something is wrong. I just want you to know that whatever it is, you can tell us."

JJ was momentarily speechless. The only sound in the small room of digital lights was Garcia's motion sensing Darth Vader doll. And JJ's phone. Vibrating. Again.

"I'm fine, Spence. I'm sorry if I made you think otherwise, I've just been having an off day." She assured with one of her patented JJ smiles – the ones that she used to use in front of cameras to reassure reporters and public alike that the situation was completely under control and nothing bad was going to happen. Ever. It was a smile people wanted to believe. It didn't fool profilers for a minute.

IF JJ had stuck around outside the lair she would've hear d a further illuminating conversation.

"She didn't answer her phone. Did you see that? She ignored it at least three times!"

"It's called efficiency, Reid. She has plenty of other demands on her time and I'm sure if it was an emergency –," Garcia was trying to argue.

"That's just it, Garcia! JJ may not be communications liaison anymore but she still knows that any call could be an imminent crisis. For her to be ignoring calls means she knows who they're from and what they're about. And THEN she's deciding not to respond! She's avoiding something!" Reid was frustrated but still slightly pleased to have found a way to make his point. Few things were quite as satisfying as transferring anxiety to another person. The only thing better was transplanting ear worms. 'It's a small world after all. It's a small world-'

"Fine! Give it a rest! I'll find out what's going on just so you can go back to obsessing about British based science fiction!"

Penelope was not one to think the worst of people. In fact, if optimism had a pathological name it would be something like Garica-itis. An insurmountable faith in the goodness of the world (if not human nature) left her completely inured to cynicism, skepticism, pessimism and reality. Yet, despite her bubble of happily spangled stockings and effervescent makeup she felt a tremor of dread as she knocked on JJ's door.

Something was wrong.

Even the carefully accented professional cheer in JJ's voice sounded forced. She smiled as Penelope walked in but the sparkle never reached her eyes. Damn Reid! I never would've started looking if he hadn't made me! JJ was one of the best at concealing her inner turmoil, mainly because no one was watching for it. They all took it for granted that JJ was emotionally healthy (unlike Elle had been) and self-aware (unlike Reid) as well as humble enough to seek help if she needed it (unlike pretty much any of the others). Everyone trusted that if something was wrong JJ was honest enough to speak up. Right now, however, what Garcia saw in her face was a pain too secret to share even with her most beloved friends.

"The phone logs on Leu and Chow. It looks like they must've had regular conversations, almost weekly. Maybe Nathan was continuing to refine his manifesto?" Garcia set the papers on the desk and slid them forward. She saw JJ's phone light up. She also saw that JJ didn't even glance at the screen, just pushed the phone a little further to one side.

"Possibly. It might've just been Chow seeking help from his mentor to get him through university the same way he did high school. The kid was clearly struggling." JJ nodded as she skimmed the logs. It was several seconds before she realized Penelope was still standing in front of her desk, fingers nervously toying with her bracelets. The blonde agent sighed and leaned back, fixing her friend with a patient but questioning gaze.

"JJ, it isn't an off day. You know Reid wouldn't have even picked up on it that fast. You've been . . .different for days. I don't know how long but I think it's been weeks! I didn't notice it enough to think about it and we've been so busy and I thought maybe we were all just trying to find a new rhythm with Kate and now I'm so sorry I didn't see it before!" Garcia word-vomited as rapidly as possible, trying to get all her emotions into a single breath before JJ could interrupt or shut her out.

"Pen! Breathe!" JJ's smile was a bit more genuine now. The love she had for the quirky analyst was absolute and sincere. Very little in the world could make her smile like Penelope Garcia could. She was the most honest soul she'd ever come across.

"Sorry. Right. Just tell me, is everything ok? Are you ok?" Penelope sat across from her, leaning forward urgently. JJ's eyes flickered away from the intensity of the scrutiny. Garcia had spent enough years with the BAU to know that never meant anything good. Then, rather than meeting Penelope's gaze the cornflower blue color drifted to stare out the office window. When she finally spoke her voice sounded as far away as her mind obviously was.

"I'm -," JJ stopped herself, "I will be fine. I'm just dealing with something and I need to process."

The phone vibrated again but didn't even attract Jareau's attention. Penelope waited as politely as possible, wondering if more information would come. It allowed her to study her friend.

JJ had changed a lot over the years. The fairly innocent, small-town girl who held the hands of police, reporters and families and projected the calm, optimistic face the BAU needed had gradually shifted to a stronger version of herself; tighter with her emotional control, stronger in confrontations, firmer in resolve – by the time the Pentagon had taken her she was truly a force to be reckoned with. Then she had come back from the Pentagon – the Middle East, really – and she had hardened. There was no other word for it. There was a sense around the edges of her personality that some innocence had been lost. She'd been scarred, more than just physically and the only time the wounds completely vanished from her eyes was when she looked at and held her son.

The phone vibrating, yet again, broke both women from their individual contemplations. JJ subtly ground herself back in reality, glancing at the phone with a hint of irritation before turning to Garcia.

"Really, Pen. There's nothing to worry about." She assured once again.

"Yeah? Because you just spent 4 minutes staring into space and that is not the JJ I know. What were you thinking? What were you seeing?" Garcia got up to see where JJ's gaze would've been through her window. It wasn't actually just space, she had a full view of the bullpen.

"Is it the team? Is something wrong? Do you not like Kate?" she pressed, certain there were clues and tells that she was missing and damn! she wished she had profiler training at times like this.

"No, don't be ridiculous. The team is great and Kate is a perfect fit. I don't think anyone has ever slid into the dynamic so easily or been so comfortable with the way we role. She's going to do great." JJ immediately assured.

"Has something come up with Cruz or the Pentagon? Did Hastings have partners?" Penelope actually felt herself choke with panic at the very thought. Everyone on the team had been in mortal peril at some point (including herself) but no one had as much to lose as JJ.

"No. The task force is paying close attention and staying in touch with me. No threats have been found." Now she was starting to sound a bit amused.

"Then are things ok with your family? Is Will ok? Is Henry?" Penelope couldn't quite keep the note of hysteria out of her voice when she thought of anything happening to her godson.

"They're all fine. Henry is better than that, he's wonderful. He is and always will be my spot of perfection in this whole world." The truth of the words glittered in her eyes.

The phone vibrated again and this time JJ actually looked pissed. The furrow in her brow told of how much she wanted to crush it beneath her boot heel or put a bullet in the sim card at point blank range. Was she angry at the caller, the distraction or the situation she was in at this moment that was demanding so much concentration? Had one of the questions gotten too close?

"What about –," Penelope was going to ask more specifically about Will. JJ had completely glossed over that part of the question.

"I'm sorry, Pen. We're going to have to continue this later. I need to make a call." JJ held up her phone and marched out of the office. She could've simply asked Penelope to leave and use the privacy of her own space. But she obviously needed to be away from the office, away from Garcia and the questions. She was fleeing. Penelope sat staring after her, completely confounded. Why couldn't people be as simple as code?

The sound of vibration attracted her attention. The phone that had been receiving calls and messages was still there, dancing angrily across the desktop. Didn't JJ take her phone?

There was a split second of war in Penelope's head as she weighed invading the privacy of her best friend against the need to understand if she was in danger. In the FBI, let alone the BAU, danger came from many sources; external and internal. Right now JJ was definitely fighting something.

Penelope snapped up the phone the next time it vibrated. It was a text message. The ID on the sender just read 'Lucky.'

I know you're in pain. Call me when you're ready to let me help.

Whatever qualms Garcia might have had about JJ's rights to privacy vanished. The answers were in here somewhere.

Feedback is welcome and appreciated!