Disclaimer: I own nothing

Spoilers from Civil War! Don't want to know, don't read! (and please go & see the d*** movie!)

Kagome lightly stirred the thick syrup with the wooden spoon that scrapped at the bottom as she mixed the ginger slices. It felt like the motion did nothing to accelerate the speed in which it cooled off and it also did little to help her with the twitchiness so with each house creak and squeak she was tempted to puff and blow at the mass. Usually she would leave it to settle on its own however she was preparing the candies as a surprise and was acutely aware that the intended recipient could come down any minute now.

Taking all this into consideration it was quite amazing how he managed to sneak upon her with a simple "What smells so good?"

"Nothing" she croaked jumping reflexively to hide the evidence behind her back but her flailing arms knocked the handle upsetting the pot instead. In her mind's eye she saw as it plunged crashing on the tiles in a terrible rumble and a heap of sticky mess.

Nothing of the sort happened though as in one swift slide Bucky caught the warm saucepan.

She tried to graciously accept when he returned it but some of her sullenness must have come through because he started to laugh at her instantaneously. Not with the small, hesitant snicker as he sometimes do but with a booming roar that bounced off the walls.

Crossing her arms she shifted the weight tapping her foot in annoyance "What's so funny?"

Chuckling at the petulant display he maneuvered around her snatching the sugar coated piece that was resting in the bowl. Eating it with relish he shook his head "Just like Becca"

Brows drawing together she turned her head "Who?"

"My sister" he answered automatically surprising both of them. Face morphing from merry to wistful he explained "One Christmas she wanted to make a grand surprise so she woke before dawn and started to make the caramel bites. I did not come home that night as promised so I tried to sneak inside the house without waking my mum. Didn't feel like being scolded. Scolded we were when Becca startled dropping the pot, denting it and spilling the syrup on the floor. All that sugar wasted. But well, that was to be expected. She was a bit clumsy at that age."

Dropping the spoon into the pot, Kagome tugged at his shirt leading him to the nearby chairs. This is big! This is great!

Knees touching she grinned, her hand on his thigh while she leaned closer "Have you been remembering things?"

Flustered, he squirmed under the hopeful stare and the scalding palm so innocently encroaching on his personal space.

Fishing out a non-descriptive notebook from the back pocket, he passed it to her effectively removing the invasive appendage that was now clutching the small pad greedily. Glad and disappointed by the increased distance he stilled in place throwing first some furtive glances that swiftly transformed into shameless staring as she leafed through the pages, her face changing emotions: from happy to sad, chuckling to frowning, snorting to puzzled expression "No, that can't be right. It didn't happen." she mumbled under the nose her head shaking.

Intrigued, he outstretched the arm demanding the notebook back but she was not yet ready to part with it so she showed him the page in question.

Eyes darting he smugly confirmed. "It really happened"

"Well, I am happy that you are remembering things, even this kind of... misadventures."

He exploded in laughter. That's one way to describe it. "Taking care of Steve wasn't ever simple. Easy to bait. First to fight. I should have known from the very first day we've met it will be like this. He was only 5 and already protecting Becca from a bully twice his size. Ridiculous punk" his face softened despite the offensive remark.

A comfortable silence fell between them. "In that case don't let me keep you from adding another memory" she absently flipped through the pages intent on returning the leather bound journal but black filled end caught her attention. Turning it around she almost lifted the cover but a cold, shaking palm halted her progress.

"Don't." He pleaded in a rough voice.

Gently pushing his hand away she smiled at him reassuringly before braving the last entry.

Brows knitting together she initially didn't understand what she saw but then it clicked. 1956, 1989, 2004, 1972, 1963…. Careful logs of the assignments he was given: assassinations, acquisitions, attacks. Although lacking any order they were still a clear admission of his crimes and guilt if to believe the chicken scrawl at the margins.

Turning to the next page, Kagome's heart hammered as her fingers traced the familiar date. 16th December 1991. Few days before they have met.

She read it carefully, her focus lingering on the key words:

Save my wife

Assassination

Sergeant Barnes

Begging

Howard Stark… friend

Closing the cover with finality, she swallowed trying to rid herself of the lump in the throat. Whenever she thought she knew the depth of human depravity things like these happened. Used like a tool to kill his old friend.

Anger slowly rising she curbed it mindful of the confusion and pain she could cause if her reaction was interpreted the wrong way.

"I always wondered what pushed you to come to me." she announced in an even voice.

It wasn't what he anticipated. Quite possibly it was the last thing he expected so he looked at her quizzically, incomprehensibly.

In spite of his ignorance this story provided an answer of sorts. The part that was doubtlessly and irrevocably youkai directed him here, to the one person who easily and effortlessly could grant him a sweat release. A painless death. Suicide by Miko.

She studied him with gravity, her eyes wide and fearless. "This is proof that you are more human that those people realised. Whatever they've done to you it didn't change you completely, not even then. This…." she paused "this pushed you to your limits. You snapped. Even when you had no memory of Howard, of yourself, of who you are or were. Deep down you knew it was wrong and it hurt you. Hurt you so badly you run away and came to me. I know it's little comfort but some good came out of it" she squeezed his thigh in support.

In a spur of the moment he fell forward hugging her tightly. Face hidden in the crook of her neck for the first time he allowed himself to shed tears. Did he cry for the youth that was lost during the WWII? Or the man who was brutalised and tortured thereafter? He wasn't sure. But the more he did the more he agreed that indeed some good came out of this horrible, heart breaking kill. Since that time his programming started to break with certain regularity giving him brief periods of reprieve. A day or three stolen every few years might not be much for most but were priceless gifts to him. Most of that time he spent in this house with Kagome. With her firmly standing at his side regardless of the state he was in: when he stumbled in, half dead and covered in blood that was clearly not his; when he just woke up from another nightmare; when he punched the mirror in panic. She was there always patiently taking care of him, soothing and comforting.

Once calmed down he watched her with renewed appreciation finally understanding how silly and unfounded his fear of being rejected was. Confident she won't run away he asked simply "Call me Bucky?"

Ohhh. Her eyes widened and she hugged him because really that meant he remembered enough of himself to be Bucky. "This calls for celebration!" she bee-lined for the glass jar half-filled with the sweets.

Hand gingerly diving in he fished out a shining piece of candy which he unexpectedly fed to Kagome. Grinning she consumed the offering and then returned the favour.

Sitting side by side they munched on the crystallised ginger smiling silly at each other.

A/N - thanks to some fabulous reviews and Captain America: Civil War (duh) I simply want to write this story again. I have seen the movie already three times and I doubt it will be the end of it.

I hope some of you will still read the story despite the long break between updates. In which case please leave a review :)