A/N: I got this idea after marathoning Epic Rap Battles videos. Check them out on YouTube if you haven't. You'll be glad you did.

Disclaimer: I don't own Shingeki no Kyojin. Isayama Hajime does.

Armin Arlert hastily dropped his bike on the parking lot without chaining it up. He would take care of that later. Getting to Classroom 104 as soon as possible was of utmost importance. The echoes of his shoes hitting the ground seemed amplified as he tore through the empty hallways. The sound of it mocked him. He did not dare check his watch. It was pointless because he was aware that he was late. Very late. Again.

Despite the loud creak of the door, nobody even turned to see who the latecomer was. They were either too focused on the english exam (Levi makes them deadly) or they already knew who it was. Of course it was Armin. Nobody else arrived thirty minutes late. The blond walked towards Levi's desk, sweating and catching his breath. He cringed. He would most likely be denied but trying would not hurt. Trying was a formality that you just don't skip in situations like this.

"Sir, please let me take-"

"Oh no. No no no, short stuff. This was your last chance, remember?" said Levi in a quiet voice.

Armin's face fell. He was so desperate that he would do anything to take that English Exam From Hell. He wanted to beg and cry in front of Levi. But he already did that before and Armin knew that doing it again would be pushing it. The english teacher had already given him way too many chances to make up for his tardiness and poor attendance and he failed to comply each time. The tears won't work on him this time. And so, Armin concluded that it was futile.

"Okay. I understand." he said with a dejected sigh.

"We shall discuss this later, Arlert. Come to the faculty room after class."

"Yes, sir."

A distressed Armin exited the room. Deep inside, he was already panicking. He was going to lose his scholarship. It was the only reason why he was still able to attend Shiganshina Academy. Heck, it was the only reason he could still attend school. He could not afford to lose it.

Calm down and think.

Repeating the mantra, Armin made his way to the vending machines in the school garden. All that running earlier made him thirsty. After getting himself a bottle of water, he made his way to the benches. To his surprise, his seatmate, Annie Leonhardt, was there. Armin raised an eyebrow. She was the kind of student who slept in class and would skip three times a week but she would always show up whenever there was a quiz or an exam. She still cared about her grades somehow. Did she finally decide to go full-on delinquent? He did not really know much about her since she would always brush him off when he tried to strike up a conversation. Armin snuck up behind the girl and took a peek at what she was doing. Annie was scribbling poems on her notebook.

Something for english class, perhaps? Wait. No. They're not just ordinary poems. They're... insults. Really nasty ones!

Armin's eyes were skimming the entire page with intrigue when they landed on the verse at the bottom of the page.

I'd give the pep squad a ring 'cause bitch you're gonna get foiled.

You must be out of shit for flinging 'cause you're pulling a Freud.

Well guess what? Your shit backfired, now your rep is soiled

And you're choking on disclaimers while I slay you null and void

Yeah I might be the devil your ass-kissers avoid

Poor bastards don't know...

Annie's pen hovered above the page, unmoving. Her brows were knit together in concentration, oblivious to the world around her. Armin looked at her and back at the verse. He put a hand on his chin thoughtfully.

"Hmm. A word that rhymes with 'avoid', huh?" he murmured.

Startled by the sound of his voice, Annie hastily closed the notebook and jammed it in her bag as if her life depended on it. She turned around to check the intruder's face and she seemed to relax a bit when she realized it was Armin.

"What, late again?" she inquired. Armin winced.

"Yeah." he said sheepishly. "Um, you're not taking the exam?"

"Are you?" said Annie.

"Mr. Levi won't let me. Looks like I'm going to fail English. What about you?"

Annie glanced at Armin and saw the distraught look on his face. She hesitated at first but decided to answer his question anyway.

"I was exempted."

Armin could not fathom how she could be exempted from the exam. Aside from the fact that she was a slacker, Levi liked seeing his students suffer. He would never exempt anyone from taking his notorious exams. There was something going on here.

"You're kidding."

She zipped her bag shut and stood up.

"I'm not. I'm getting an A+ in his class as a final grade."

"What did you do?"

"Why don't you ask him?"

As if to avoid further questions from the boy, Annie turned on her heel and swiftly walked away. Armin did not know why but the fog of worries in his mind seemed to have cleared up a little. Was this hope?

He felt as if he should thank Annie. Armin yelled after her.

"Annie! I think the word you were looking for is 'hemorrhoids!'"

Annie stopped walking as if a life-changing realization paused her entire being into a halt. She recited the now completed verse in her head.

I'd give the pep squad a ring 'cause bitch you're gonna get foiled.

You must be out of shit for flinging 'cause you're pulling a Freud.

Well guess what? Your shit backfired, now your rep is soiled

And you're choking on disclaimers while I slay you null and void

Yeah I might be the devil your ass-kissers avoid

Poor bastards don't know you got a secret called hemorrhoids.

Huh. Makes sense.

Annie smiled in satisfaction and left the troubled boy behind her.

"Mind telling me why you were late again this morning?" Levi asked as he sprayed disinfectant on his desk.

"Sir, it's my job. The manager won't give me another shift." Armin said.

"I thought you quit?"

"Well, I was going to, but then my grandfather broke an arm. He won't be able to work for a while so I have to shoulder paying all the bills and work overtime."

Levi stopped wiping his desk and stared at the boy.

"That's really unfortunate, Arlert. However, you have to understand that I can't even give you a passing grade anymore since you were absent from class more than half the time. It's school policy."

"Oh."

Armin was not sure if he should ask Levi about Annie's exemption. From the defensive way she acted around him earlier, he could tell it was a matter that was supposed to be confidential. Now he might be desperate but he did not want to get her in trouble just so he could save his scholarship. And then he remembered her words.

Why don't you ask him?

"Sir, I heard you're giving Annie Leonhardt an A+."

Levi's eyes narrowed. Armin heard him curse under his breath. "-just couldn't keep her trap shut, could she?" he muttered.

It was true. He really was going to give Annie an A+! Hope swelled in Armin's heart.

"I don't know how she earned it but whatever it is, I'm more than willing to do it."

Levi eyed his student for a moment. His usual frown contorted into a maniacal smile.

"Uh, I mean, I'd do it as long as it's not illegal or... indecent in nature." Armin amended.

The teacher rolled his eyes. He scanned his surroundings, checking for eavesdroppers. When he was sure no one was within hearing range, he leaned in towards an uneasy looking Armin. He spoke in a low voice.

"Fine. I'm giving you one final chance. But before I do, I have to check if you're cut out for this. It's an A+ that's at stake here after all. More than that, actually. So I'd take this seriously if I were you. You hear that?"

Armin nodded, looking determined.

"Alright. What I want you to do is to write a rhyming poem that takes thirty seconds to read. No more, no less."

"Can it be about anything?" Armin asked.

"No. It should be about me. Now, I want you to insult me in the most cutting and witty way possible in that poem. Don't hesitate to use swear words. In fact, I highly encourage you to use them."

Armin was both baffled and horrified.

"I-I don't know, sir. That seems really, um, disrespectful."

"Goddamnit Arlert. It's not disrespectful if I'm the one who asked you to insult me in the first place. Do you want the A+ or not?"

"Yes!"

"Then just fucking do it. Show it to me after school. I'll be in the music room with the other members of the team."

"Yes, sir! I'll work on it right away, sir!"

"Oh and Arlert, do not tell anyone about this. Understood?"

Later at lunch, Armin was bombarded with questions by his two worried bestfriends. He appreciated Eren and Mikasa's concern although he wished sometimes they would just give him some space. He could solve his own problems after all.

"Dude, if there's anything we can do to- what are you doing?"

Eren leaned over the table to see what his friend was doing. Armin stopped writing and hastily closed the notebook sitting on his lap. He had been busy composing that poem ever since Levi dismissed him from the faculty office. He did not know why but for some reason, he wasn't allowed to tell anybody about the strange homework.

"Er, I'm writing an essay for Mr. Levi's class." he lied.

"Oh, okay. Need a hand?"

"Eren, if he's having trouble with homework you're the last person he'd ask help from." Mikasa deadpanned.

"What, you think you and Armin are the only ones who can excel academically?"

Eren gritted his teeth. It was so easy to rile him up. "For your information, I'm getting an A+ on Levi's class!"

"Good for you." Mikasa said.

Three tables away, Annie set her tray down on an empty table. It was because of her that Armin still had a shot at saving his scholarship. He stood up and made his way towards the lone girl. Eren noticed his friend leaving.

"Hey, where are you going?"

Annie looked up and raised an eyebrow at Armin. The boy had suddenly taken a seat opposite her.

"Uh, hey. I just wanted to say thanks." he said.

"What for?"

"You know. For telling me about Mr. Levi's special assignment."

Annie rolled her eyes.

"I didn't tell you anything. I just dropped a hint and you happened to know what to do with it. Thank yourself for not being a dumbass."

What she said was true but Armin was convinced that if he had not encountered her earlier that day then things would have gone differently. More importantly, did she just compliment him?

"That's true but still, I want you to know that I really appreciate-"

"For fuck's sake, spare me the sappy details. I get it."

"O-okay." he stammered.

Tch. Too submissive.

Harshfully digging her fork into the plate of pasta in front of her, Annie waited for the boy to leave her alone. Eren and Mikasa had been watching them from afar the whole time. They looked like parents who got separated from their child at a mall. Annie thought they looked utterly pathetic.

Contrary to what she was expecting, Armin did not head back to sit with his overprotective friends. Instead he opened his notebook and began writing. When she saw what he was doing, her interest grew.

"Let me see it."

"Huh?"

She pointed at his notebook. "You don't mind, do you?"

Armin shook his head vigorously. "No! Not at all. In fact, I could use your advice since you seem to be more experienced at this than I am." His mind wandered back to the verse he saw in her notebook that morning.

Armin anxiously watched her as her bored eyes pored over what he wrote.

"So... What do you think?" he asked expectantly.

"It sucks." she declared bluntly as she handed him back the notebook.

"Oh." Armin was at a loss for words. That tiny hope within him had been crushed by the same person who gave it to him in the first place. It was still too early to lament though.

"Then, what do you suggest I do to improve it?" he asked.

It was only there for a second or two but the twisted smile that graced Annie's lips unexplainably made Armin panic.

"Asshole up." she said.