A/N- I am one big asswipe, starting a new story like this. But an ace!Eren and playboy!Levi was just totally necessary I had to do it. I saw a post on Tumblr mentioning the lack of ace! fics, and I think this is a pretty important topic for a lot of people, including myself. I hope I can capture this rarely approached orientation well enough throughout this fic ^^

The only thing I really have to say is; this story is only rated M because of strong language and MILD (like hella light mild) sexual situations (Just like FF guidelines call for- What a rare occurrence. An M rated story that isn't MA xD) Eren's asexual, after all. After a failed to mention I'm asexual situation, the most intense thing that will happen will be comfort cuddles and chaste kisses.

Comments are always strongly advised and painfully desired. They motivate faster updates, too ;3

It's Not Me... It's You

Gross... Eren shifted uncomfortably beneath Jean and winced when he felt a tongue against his neck. He tried to hold still when teeth scraped against his skin, but he shuddered instead. Wasn't that a good thing though? People shuddered when someone sucked on their neck like a leech, right? Maybe Jean would mistake it for what it could have been, not for what it was.

He groaned when Jean ground himself against his waist, but he'd watched enough porn (an endeavor to at least know how to pretend) to understand that even his groan sounded like he'd end up sick. It had probably put the best porn star's fake cries to shame.

"I'm sorry, Eren... This isn't working..."

The relief Eren felt as those sloppy lips left his neck and the weight of Jean's body disappeared almost overshadowed the way his heart shattered.

Again.

He'd failed Jean and himself.

Again.

One would think his boyfriend was just pointing out that the necking and grinding wasn't working, but Eren knew better. He had those words down to a science, and he knew what it would lead to.

Wiping his neck off and dressing with fervor, Eren mimicked Jean, "It's not you, it's me." A glare and he continued on by himself. "Don't pull that bullshit, I know it's me. I'm the freak here, Jean. If it were you then it'd be every other guy who's tried to make me horny. And that's every single guy, which makes me outnumbered; it's clearly me."

"Eren..."

God, how he hated that look of pity. Like he was missing out on something by not wanting to have sex.

With a growl, he grabbed a pillow and hurled it at his naked probably-soon-to-be-ex boyfriend. "That's all it ever is with you guys! Cocks and ass, boners and sex! Why can't you try to be happy the way I am- I'm sick of having to be the one to try and make things work just because I'm different!" he burst, nearly hyperventilating as he tried to speak his mind instead of appease Jean. "To me, you're weird and different, so why can't you pretend to care less about sex?"

Jean practically paled and struggled to find his words for a moment, and when he did they didn't do much to calm Eren's rage.

"It's not like that, Eren," the blond insisted softly. "It's just, you know, when you really like someone, you want to be together-"

"I'm not fucking ten, Jean, don't talk to me like you're about to tell me how babies are made. You shouldn't have to fuck me to be with me," Eren interrupted, trying to get everything he had never said off of his chest.

It scared him, though. The second Jean had looked at him, pitying him, he had been scared. They had lasted six months, and occasionally Eren would try to give into Jean's persistence; after all, it was the longest relationship he had ever been in. Would they get anywhere though? No. Eren believed it set them back more often than not. It was all just too much of a bother when nothing felt good and everything felt gross.

And this had just been the icing on the cake, so to speak. There had been a sense of finality in Jean's words, which meant in the next month or so Jean would be moving out and Eren would be on his own.

Again.

The thought brought his ragged breathing to a halt. He couldn't be alone, he hated it. He liked when someone stayed up late with him and talked to him, why did he have to offer up to keep that?

"Jean, don't. Don't leave," he pleaded suddenly, but the other boy was already dressed and pulling out his phone. No doubt to make arrangements for a place to stay.

Hazel eyes, solemn and rather apologetic, met his and Jean shrugged. "I can't do this anymore, Eren. It doesn't feel like we're in a relationship, it feels like we're just roommates trying to make it through college. I love you, but..."

There he went again, throwing around "I love you's" like he did every time they failed. Eren knew if Jean really did love him, he'd be able to go without the sex. He wouldn't say it when he needed gloss over a shitty situation.

Eren's legs nearly gave out and he was glad the end result was the bed. He bit into his thumb, trying to ignore the threatening sting of tears as Jean spoke softly into his phone and began moving around the room.

"I'll stay at Marco's until I can find another place," Jean informed him softly.

Eren felt a flash of humiliation and anger wash over him. Marco. He'd have been stupid not to even suspect Jean when he was all about Marco half the time- it wasn't a rare occurrence, after all; the guys who did try to stay with him usually ended up seeking pleasure from others. And Eren had a way of picking guys who weren't all that great at hiding it.

If Jean were going now he might as well figure it out.

"Did you ever..." Eren started carefully, but the look on Jean's face told him everything. Desperation drew out his next plea, "It's okay if you did, Jean. I don't care, if that's what helps-"

A stern look from Jean shut him up. "It doesn't help. I hated going behind your back to do that shit! But I just can't go without a physical relationship, Eren. You don't even fucking cuddle- who doesn't cuddle?" he exclaimed.

There it is, Eren thought with slow resignation.

As if he realized he may have just rubbed salt on the wound, Jean softened up and sighed. "Look, you deserve better. Find someone who can go without the physicality. I guarantee you you'll be happier without the stress."

With nothing more to add, and not entirely ready to humiliate himself further, Eren watched silently as Jean shoved some clothes in a bag and grabbed his keys. With a rather apologetic smile, Jean moved towards him and bent to press a chaste kiss against his forehead. Mumbling another apology and a goodbye, Jean was gone.

The second the door to their- his- apartment clicked shut, Eren grabbed the alarm clock and hurled it at the wall with a ragged scream.

Every time, he thought while working to fight the tears. He managed to keep them back until a battered and ratty little kitten by the name of Rogue padded into the room with a soft cry. The animal worked at his socks, snagging its claws and spazzing until Eren picked him up and buried his face in the little body. He needed to listen to the fuzzball more often; he was an excellent judge of character. Rogue had hated Jean and the two before Jean the second they had stepped foot into the apartment.

And look at where he was now; alone and pitied.

"I'm done, Rogue," Eren mumbled into the fur, ignoring the low growl of protest as he squeezed the kitten. "No more dating for me. It'll be just us from now on."

He collapsed onto the bed and sighed as Rogue managed to curl up on his face, mewling happily as if that were the greatest idea in the world. The solid and furry body blocked the harsh light, and may have absorbed tears Eren would never admit to, but did little to stop the image of Jean leaving from replaying over and over in his head.

"Damn, Yeager. You look like shit." Reiner, always the honest one.

"Jean keep you up all night, tiger?" That was Connie.

"Don't be silly. Eren's above sex. You were safe if you did, though. Right?" Oh, how he could always rely on Mikasa.

Eren had never been more relieved to see Armin at his desk. While he loved all of his friends, and had been happy that more than a few of them had made it into the LAPD with him, Armin had to be his favorite. And Mikasa couldn't count; sibling ranking debunked her humanity.

"Are you okay?" Armin asked softly after Eren had slumped into the chair behind his desk and ungracefully shoved files out of the way. He was basically a grunt anyway, they just gave him the files to make him look like he was busy until a fight broke out at some bar. Or a kitten got stuck in a tree.

Contrary to popular belief, it was the cops who dealt with that. Firemen just liked to pull bullshit out of their asses. He'd punch the next one who mentioned Rogue's rescue; that had been all Eren and he had the ragtag little shit to prove it.

"Just peachy," Eren mumbled a bit bitterly. "It happened again," he added under his breath. If anyone would know anything about his situation, it would be Armin. He'd been the one who'd helped Eren realize he was asexually homosexual, and after that absolutely horrifying experience they'd actually come out of it closer.

Unfortunately, Eren would never be able to say the same about his exes.

Surprise flashed in those blue eyes, and Armin shook his head slowly, doubtfully. "Jean left? Seriously?" he asked. Far too loudly, in Eren's opinion, because everyone in the office who knew him swarmed his desk.

"Who's fault was it? Did you fight? Was it bad?" Connie pressed, eyes wide as he bounced in place. Ever so eager, of course.

Sasha slapped his shoulder. "Don't be rude, Connie. When we talk to Eren about it, it's Jean's fault. When we talk to Jean about it, it's Eren's. That's how things like this work."

"Oh..." Connie hummed, as if it made total sense.

"I'll kick his ass," Reiner declared firmly, then with a rather hesitant glance in Mikasa's direction, he stuttered, "If Mikasa requires any help, that is."

Armin just threw Eren a nervous smile while Mikasa glared at his pencil holder.

"Fuck off~" Eren groaned, his head pounding at the sudden onslaught and the lack of space. Turning to Armin to specifically exclude his gossiping friends, he asked, "I'm going down to Shina tonight. You in?"

The blond frowned, concern etched into his face. Shina was probably one of the loudest, wildest, bars in LA, and a place Eren often frequented after a bad breakup.

"Relax, Armin. I'm not going to hookup- I don't hookup, remember? I just need a friend and some booze," he explained with what he hoped was a reassuring smile. "Besides, I promised Rogue I wouldn't be dating for a very long time. Dating isn't for people like me," Eren added softly, ignoring Armin's nearly pitiful gaze.

After all, Armin's pity and Jean's pity were two totally different things.

"You'll find someone," Armin assured him. "You just need to calm down, sit back, and wait for him to fall at your feet."

Smirking, Eren agreed. "I do like the sound of that. I'm sick of groveling for second chances. Someone else needs to do it for a change." The desperation he had displayed towards Jean the night before had woken him up a bit.

If he could find just one guy who didn't have to try to be with him, Eren would be set for life. He'd just need that one guy to understand he wasn't a total fuck up. He needed someone who couldn't give one shit about who he was, or care about what he could and couldn't do... someone who would just be happy with him.

As Armin patted his shoulder and walked away, Eren laughed softly to himself. The chances of finding someone like that were zero to none; Eren Yeager was destined to be "forever alone."

At least I have Rogue, he thought with a bitter, almost self-deprecating, smile.