Summary: Lucy's into a new book. Natsu's confused when she calls him Jack. Nalu one-shot, Romance/Humor.

"Natsuuuu!"

The fire Dragon Slayer turned around on his bar stool warily to face Lucy. Whenever she screamed his name, it meant something - not necessarily bad, but not good either - was about to happen.

"What?" he asked as one of his teammates entered the guild hall, running over to him. She sat down on the bar stool next to him and Natsu stared at her face to get a good idea of whatever was about to happen.

After a year or so of being her friend, Natsu had a good idea of her facial expressions. For example, if she was beaming, then she was happy and he would probably not get a kick to the face. However, most of the time when his name was yelled by her, it meant she had an angry face. Those always resulted in him being abused by her feet.

Luckily for him, her face displayed bright brown eyes and a happy grin. Natsu relaxed - slightly - but still readied himself to make a run for it if her face changed. Lucy had been known to catch him unaware before screaming about how he had destroyed her apartment, or how he'd ruined the mission as well as her chances of paying her rent on time.

"I found a new book from the bookstore down the street from my apartment," Lucy said excitedly. It was then that Natsu realized she held a book in her right hand, the faces of a woman and a man as well as a large ship on the cover.

"What's it about? Is it an action book?" Natsu asked. Lucy stared at him for a moment before laughing.

"Sure, if you want to call it that. But it's a - well, it's a very good novel," Lucy replied, her eyes avoiding his own. "I-in fact, I'm going to read it again!"

And with that, she faced the bar counter, ignored Mira's questioning of if she wanted food or a drink, and flipped open the book. And started reading.

Natsu sighed.

The next day, Lucy didn't appear at the guild. By late afternoon Happy grew so worried he begged Natsu to go to her apartment with him.

"Nah," Natsu said, shrugging. "She's probably reading the same book as yesterday - Lucy's obsessed with it."

"But Natsu!" Happy wailed. "What if she's in trouble? Kidnapped? Dead?"

This got Natsu's attention, and soon enough the pair were running - or, in Happy's case, flying - down to Lucy's home on Strawberry Street. Happy seemed to be distressed. Natsu rolled his eyes at the blue cat's behavior as Happy's flying was worse than usual and every time he spoke, there was stutters and slurs in his words.

"Happy, she's fine," Natsu said as they arrived to Lucy's house. "Here, we'll go through the window like we always do and nothing will be wrong! She probably just got caught up writing her book or reading or something." And with that, Happy shakily picked up Natsu and took him to the second story, where Natsu slid open the window to hear -

"Once more you open the door!"Lucy shouted as she jumped around in her room. Natsu stared at her, and suddenly he did feel worried. Not worried that she'd been injured, no - worried for her mental health.

He said, "I opened the window, though."

"And you're here in my heart!"

"I'm here in your room."

"And my heart will go on and on!"

"Are you singing, Lucy?" Happy asked the blonde. Lucy stopped her shrieking and jumping like a crazy person to finally notice that Natsu and Happy were there.

"...How long have you been standing there, Jack, Happy?" Lucy questioned her teammates in a small voice.

"Long enough," Natsu grunted. "What are you singing? You sound like one of those sirens. Worse than Gajeel."

Lucy frowned. "My Heart Will Go On. I found the movie lacrima for the book I'm reading and this song is just - it's perfect." She twirled around as she said this, doing a small dance before straightening up again and glaring, as if challenging the males to tell their friends that she had been dancing and 'singing'.

Then Natsu realized something.

"'Jack'?" he repeated. "Did you forget my name already, Luigi?"

Lucy stared at his face for exactly three seconds before her face turned bright pink. And then she spoke the dreaded words Natsu seemed to hear every time he visited her apartment.

"Lucy Kick!"

Natsu and Happy trudged back to the guild, Natsu with a bruise on his face and Happy attempting to comfort him as they entered the guild and sat down at the first and closest table to the two.

"It's okay, Natsu! I'm sure she didn't mean to call you the wrong name! That's why she kicked you, because she was embarrassed! She's such a weirdo, you know," Happy said.

"Yeah? Well, it still hurts," Natsu grumbled.

"'The wrong name'?" Mirajane echoed as she walked over to their table, handing an ice pack to Natsu with a small "here." After thanking her, Natsu explained the events that had occurred in Lucy's apartment.

"And she called me Jack," Natsu finished. "Prancing around like a mad woman, singing some song called 'My Heart Will Go On' which is her favorite stupid song from her favorite stupid movie and her favorite stupid book. Like, Nat-su and Jack? They don't even sound the same!"

"Oh!" Mirajane exclaimed, putting a hand to her smiling face.

"What? Do you know why?" Natsu asked as he held the ice pack to his face.

Mirajane didn't reply.

"Mira?"

The demon's grin grew wider and more sinister.

"Mirajane...?"

The barmaid seemed to gurgle words he couldn't understand - something about "love" and other mushy things that just made Natsu sick - before running away, tripping on her dress for one moment but quickly getting up and sprinting back to behind the bar.

Over the past week, Lucy had called him "Jack" exactly forty-three times. It had gotten annoying after the second time, but now it caused Natsu to stew for several hours, wondering why the hell she seemed to think his name was not Natsu anymore. However, those several hours had led him to one conclusion: Lucy's obsession with the new book had ruined his life.

"It's not that bad, Natsu," Happy said. Natsu realized he'd spoken the last sentence out loud, causing many strange stares from other guild members.

Resting his head back onto the cool wooden surface of the table close to the stage in the guild hall, Natsu sighed. It was the sigh of an old mad who had seen many years worth of wars - not the one of a boy who couldn't understand why his friend thought he needed a name change, although Natsu always had a flair for the dramatics.

Natsu groaned. "It is. She's called me by my real name only twice ever since she found that book - the first time she showed me it, and this morning when she couldn't get my attention... after calling me 'Jack' sixteen times."

"You counted? That's sad, Natsu."

"Do you know what's sad, Happy? That Lucy can't get my name right! I've known her for eight years!" Natsu growled, ignoring the fact that seven of eight years didn't really count. "Is this revenge for me calling her Luigi? Maybe because I crashed her place one too many times? Or something else that I don't remember?"

"Probably the first one," Happy replied. "But don't you think it's because of her new book?"

Natsu nodded, rubbing his chin with his right hand before coming up with an idea. "I know how we can find out what's been up with Lucy!"

Happy still asked why, even though he already knew the answer. Sure enough:

"We'll steal her book!"

At first, it seemed to be a total disaster. Natsu couldn't remember the name of the book so the two relied on what he had seen and could describe - "some boy and girl and a giant ship".

While Lucy spent two hours shopping, Natsu and Happy spent one hour and fifty minutes looking for the book. Happy finally found it under Lucy's pillow and the two high tailed it before Lucy returned.

"Hm... Titanic? That sounds boring," Natsu said. "Let's get Levy's gale-force reading glasses so we don't have to spend hours reading some dumb book."

They ran back to the guild, grabbed Levy's glasses off of her head, and used Happy to fly out of the building while being chased by an angry Levy, Jet, and Droy. After finally shaking off Team Shadowgear, Natsu and Happy decided to hide in Magnolia's library.

"They'll never expect us to hide here," Natsu explained to Happy as he put on the glasses, sitting down on the ground in between book cases. "Alright! Let's start reading!"

"I'll keep a lookout for Levy," Happy said as he flew and sat on top of a book case. "Plus, reading sounds bor-ing!"

About twenty minutes passed. Natsu's curiosity for the "dumb book" increased once Jack was introduced. However, so did his confusion when Jack was described to be almost nothing like Natsu. If Jack was a large, strong dude with muscles and ate fire and was famous, Natsu could understand why Lucy seemed to forget who was who. However, Jack didn't even have cool salmon-colored hair!

Natsu was about to roar with frustration, but just then Happy swooped down. "Code red!" Happy cried out. "Lucy's entered the building! She'll want her book back"

"What the heck is a 'Code red'?" Natsu asked, annoyed. "Let me finish the book first. Keep her busy...or something. Just make sure she doesn't come over here."

"But Natsu! We're in the romance section!" Happy yelled before lowering his voice when one visitor glared. "This is her favorite part of the library!"

Natsu snapped, "Then make her favorite part of the library the action stuff - I dunno! Just distract her!"

Happy frowned but nodded, flying over the books and to where the front doors were. Natsu did his best to concentrate on the book. Only a third of the book to go!

Lucy was not as dumb as Happy and Natsu had perceived her to be. Within five seconds, she had deduced that Natsu was also in the library with Happy, they had stolen her book, and Natsu was acting like an idiot again. Happy didn't have to say a word.

"Where's Natsu, Happy?" Lucy asked.

"I - he's at home! Cook- training! Training!" Lucy yanked on the flying cat's tail.

"I asked you a question, Happy," Lucy growled. "Where. Is. Natsu?!"

"In the Romance Section!" Happy squealed. When his tail was released, he felt the shame and guilt crashing down on him. "Uh oh... I sold out Natsu!" he said. He watched Lucy stomp to the back of the library, muttering about crazy idiots and "why in the world is he in the romance area?"

Meanwhile, Natsu slammed the book shut. "Done!" he cheered.

"Care to return the book, now?"

Natsu looked up, the glasses falling off of his face. "Uh oh."

"Natsu." She'd said Natsu's real name. That meant he was in a lot of trouble.

"I- I can explain, Luce!" Natsu hurriedly said. "I was confused why you were calling me Jack, and then you wouldn't tell me why or what sort of book this was. A-and Mirajane was acting all weird, too! So I had to find out for myself and I read it and..."

Lucy was the same shade of pink that she'd turned the same day Natsu and Happy had found her singing in her apartment. "Give me the book back, Natsu," she said with a tired tone.

Natsu glanced back at the book. Then back at her. Book. Lucy. Book. Lucy. "But... why were you calling me Jack?"

Lucy stared at him for about three minutes. When Natsu was starting to feel really antsy and waved a hand to her face, she flinched, snatched the book away from him, and threw it at his face. Smack. It left a large, red rectangular mark right next to the foot imprint from earlier. As the book slid down from Natsu's face, she screamed so loud several librarians flocked to the area of the noise, resulting in both Lucy and Natsu being kicked out of the library.

"Lucy...?"

"I- I can't believe you still don't get it!" Lucy shrieked. "I've been calling you Jack all week, almost hoping you'd get it, but you're as dense as... as a pile of bricks!"

"I'm not that dense," Natsu whined. "Whatever that means."

"You're proving my point way too easily."

Lucy started to run away, but Natsu grabbed her wrist before she could - the same wrist he had on that fated day at Hargeon Port. The only difference was that he was behind her, trying to stop her, instead of leading her to the Fairy Tail Guild.

"Wait! Rose!"

Lucy struggled in his grip before it dawned on her. She stopped, completely still. "Did you just-"

"-Read your whole book in thirty minutes? Yes."

"-Call me 'Rose'?"

Natsu looked at her face, blinking several times. Then, his face stretched into a large grin. "Maybe."

After a bit of looking it up on the internet and seeing if it really is true, there is a book of that romantic version Titanic.

Please review! Also, please tell me if anything about it - lyrics from "My Heart Will Go On" or anything else I mentioned - is false, or if I got my facts wrong.