Hello world! I am DeathCabForMari and this is my very first story.

I am beyond excited to bring this story to you and would like to say it wouldn't have been possible without the best beta ever, IWriteNaked. Not only did she beta, but she helped me muster up the courage to write a story in general. It took me a while, but I crossed over to the dark side, with her as my guide. I feel so dang lucky to have her helping me. Thanks girl.

A quick shoutout to some of my favorite authors is in order: RippingButterflyWings, Katwood5, SpikeyHairGood, and obviously IWriteNaked. They are all amazing, and if you haven't read their stories...you must. You. Must.

Fair warning, there will be language, underage drinking, drugs, sexual content (though I haven't decided if it will be full on smut or not) etc. I am in no way condoning any of these actions, if anything I hope you learn from the impulsive actions of Clary Fray. I am simply telling a story.

Also, I have a Pinterest board dedicated to, and named after, this story. I highly suggest you check it out! I will update it as the story progresses, but you can go now to see things like Clary and Jon's outfits, Clary's car, what Jocelyn and Luke look like, even Izzy (and some of her summer antics with Clary) makes an appearance! Look me up under the same username. I will be posting a link on my profile either way. Thank you IWriteNaked for the idea, you're awesome. But this is common knowledge...

The most important thing of all: These characters, TMI, and TID do not belong to me, they are entirely Cassandra Clare's creation. Thankfully though, I get to borrow them for a while, and have my way with them. Yeah, I'm looking at you Jace... Which ALSO means the storyline does belong to me, so yes I'm copyrighting it like its hot.

The characters are AU.

As I said I am a music lover, there were definitely songs I listened to while writing. I intend to have chapter songs each time I update for those of you who like that.

For this update I will list songs that Clary listened to while dealing with the heartbreak, so naturally they'll be all over the place. So without further ado I leave you with the chapter songs, the beginning of Breakups and Shakeups, and my heart in your hands, be gentle!

Magic- Coldplay

Fix You - Coldplay

Don't Speak- No Doubt

Hate (I Really Don't Like You) - Plain White T's

Blow Me (One Last Kiss) - Pink

Prologue

"You really think Sebastian gives a shit about you? He already has a girlfriend, Clary! He started dating her like a week before he got the balls to face you and break it off... Not that a freaking phone call is actually considered facing you—"

I hold my hand up, cutting him off, "Will, I get it. Sebastian has moved on, quite quickly might I add, but we are over, and this—" I gesture between the two of us, "cannot happen. It's not right. Seb is your best friend." I lie. I couldn't care less that they're friends, but I can't stand the way Will looks at me. He's always treated me this way, and frankly it's always freaked me out.

Will's hot; don't get me wrong and the feeling of having his tongue snaking its way into my lips, caressing my teeth... Damn. He's a really good kisser. That isn't bad at all. I admit, it's relieving to finally get that first post breakup kiss out of the way, even if it was with Seb's best friend... That's not too bad, right?

Sebastian's lips are the only ones I've really ever known. Seb was my first kiss, my first boyfriend, and the first guy I got to third base with... A lot. We didn't have sex though; I could never bring myself to give him that part of me, despite the fact that I loved him; it just never felt right. Will's deep blue eyes bore into my emerald orbs, piercing through my defenses. I don't like that his stare makes me feel exposed. Pull it together Clary.

His black hair is messily ruffled atop his head, some of the bangs dropping down to brush over his beautiful eyes... Dammit I said pull it together, not get confused! He's a weirdo! Think of how he stares at you when he thinks you're not looking, or the way he used to watch you make out with Sebastian, or how he always sniffs your hair when you hug him. I shudder internally. This boy is creepy as hell, but God help me, he's hotter than my forgotten soda sitting in the trunk of my car— in mid-June, no less. I close my eyes to give myself a sense of privacy— ignoring how false that feeling truly is. It's pretty difficult to avoid feeling trapped when I'm sitting in Will's car with him.

He reaches out and holds my hands, which are knotted together in my lap. "Clary, we were having so much fun just now. I've always been very subtle about this since you were Seb's girl, but I've wanted to kiss you for so long. I don't regret it." Subtle? That was him being subtle?!

Me = creeped the FRITTATA out...

I sigh and run a hand down my face. He isn't making this any easier. I know he's hot, but it just ain't happening…

"Look Will, I am so thankful that you texted me today. Truly, it was good knowing that despite being Seb's friend, I can still count on you to be up front with me. Thanks for telling me about what was going on behind my back. But the fact that Seb has decided to get himself a girlfriend doesn't change how I feel about this. Besides, I don't need a boy in my life right now. It's too soon, no matter how meaningless it is." Another lie. Izzy already has a date lined up for me. I originally didn't want to go, but after hearing about Sebastian's dick move, I'm feeling pretty willing.

I reach for the door handle and slowly open the passenger side door, "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to get back to Magnus, Izzy, and Simon. We're gift shopping for Alec. Catchya later." I get out of the car and hurriedly walk back to my friends, far away from Will's gaze, which is boring a hole into my skull.

Chapter 1

I'm standing in my restroom wrapped in a bath towel; the steam still lingers in the atmosphere as I run my hand across the mirror, wiping off the thick layer of condensation. As the fog clears up I study my features and think about how much has changed in the past few months. I look the same, but inside I know better.

I think of my best friend Izzy and how amazing she's been to me this summer. All the times she came over as soon as I called her, begging for comfort. She would always be there; ice cream, tissues, and 80's movies in hand.

I remember the first night she came over, her words playing back like a mantra for sanity. "Oh Clare-bear, I know you feel like the world is ending. But logically, this breakup was anticipated. I mean you were two high schoolers in your first relationship, you reached your peak and it was time to cut your losses. One day you will thank that asshole for cutting you lose when he did." I stared at her, dumbfounded at how deep she could be sometimes. She sat there, on my bed next to me with her back against the bedpost, shoving popcorn—not so delicately— in her mouth as we watched Sixteen Candles. In that moment I silently thanked God for creating Izzy. She may not have ever been in a serious relationship herself, purely by choice because that girl had men lining up just to be acknowledged by her, but she sure was in tune with this sort of thing. At the time I could only scowl at Izzy. She was thinking logically about the whole situation, but logics were not on my mind when it came to Sebastian. Not. One. Bit.

In retrospect, I can see that deep down I knew it was coming, despite wanting to prevent it as much as I could. What I didn't expect was the hollow feeling it gave me, or how I felt like it came out of nowhere. I should've expected it. But like many things in our relationship... I was in denial. I didn't expect to feel like the breakup left me hollowed out— an empty shell of who I used to be.

Sebastian Verlac was my first boyfriend... Yeah, yeah, OMG I didn't have a boyfriend 'till I was 16. But what can I say? I never had the best of luck with boys... that is, until Seb came along. I was so taken by his looks, charm, and all the attention he gave me, that I ignored those things that should have mattered, the ones that ended up tearing us apart. That's how our year long relationship started. At first things were fine, heck they were as amazing as puppy love could be. But before I knew it, all of that had fizzled out; we were always fighting, and I was always impatient, suspicious, and had less self-confidence than I had started out with, and that wasn't saying much. The relationship was amazing, until it wasn't, and we both held on for far too long. Yes, he was the first boy I ever loved, and still love— we both tried to be better for each other. We tried, but we failed.

Admittedly, I would still be with Sebastian if he hadn't been the one to end it. He was all I knew and unchartered waters were something I didn't like exploring. I didn't even have the courage to have sex with him, and deep down I suspect that was part of the reason we ended. He was ready to give me everything, but something always held me back. How could I have been so stupid? I spent a lot of time doing this all summer; dwelling on the things I should have done and refusing to accept that it was too late to fix anything. It still hurts like hell to be without him, and for a while I did go through a depression. I mean he literally dropped me for another girl. I may have pushed him away, I definitely played my part in our demise, but that shit hurt regardless.

When his best friend, Will, texted me a week after the breakup, the last thing I was expecting was to learn that Seb had found a girlfriend before we even broke up officially. Will trying to put the moves on me didn't surprise me. At all. I remember fighting with Seb about it, he never believed me when I told him Will gave me the creeps. Well, we know how that turned out. Either way, I am beyond thankful for Will. He may have had twisted intentions, but he helped fuel the fire that slowly grew within me.

As I look into the reflection of my green eyes, I can see how I've changed this summer. There are obvious changes, yes; I now have a nose and tongue piercing. I've had my industrial piercing for a few years now; mom let me get it after I complained that earrings were boring. Thank God for my mother's need not to 'oppress' us... Such a hippie, that woman.

I look at the glimmer coming from the hoop ring in my nose, tilting my head as the light from the window behind me reflects off it. I remember going to get it done a few days after Sebastian broke up with me. I had always wanted to get it done, but Sebastian always told me my nose was too cute to pierce. He always said he didn't care if I did it, but every time he looked at me with those eyes, kissed my nose, and said those words, I just melted. In retrospect, Seb did that to me a lot. He had a way of making me melt in his hands, and directing me in the way he wanted. It usually ended with us on his bed, in little to no clothes... God my hormones are driving me insane. Where was I? Oh yes, Seb the jerk, Seb the guy who ripped my heart out and effectively stomped all over it like gum under his shoe. Seb my ex-boyfriend. Sigh... As I was saying, it was subtle but he was a bit of a control freak.

So naturally, once Sebastian discarded me like an expired gallon of milk I felt the need to do almost everything he had always seductively discouraged me from doing… With those lips of his… There I go again, dammit. Sigh. I need a distraction. As for the tongue piercing, I was angry and wanted to piss everyone off, like the mature adult I am.

I turn my head so I can look at my hair; my fiery red tendrils no longer reach my waist, but fall to my chest with streaks of blonde all throughout the bottom layer— Magnus had a field day with my hair.

It's not the superficial changes I focus on though, but rather that good old confident glint in my eyes, the cocky smirk that is now etched on my lips, the single raised eyebrow—which I mustered enough fuel to finally learn to do... Thank you heartbreak. I have clearly been spending too much time with Izzy. Her confident nature is rubbing off on me.

I was a very vulnerable girl this summer, and Izzy used that as a chance to take me under her wing and help me understand how to handle boys her way; how to keep them at arms length, if that's what I want, and be the one to use them and leave them before they do it to me. According to Simon, she's totally corrupted me, but I think she's protecting me in her own way; and I can't say I'm complaining. Anything to stop this dull ache. It's not like I actually feel any different, but appearances are everything in high school. While I still walk around feeling like there's a hole in my chest, a piece missing, and that I'm slowly dying, I want people to think otherwise; for boys to see me differently. "If they smell weakness, they'll pounce you like you're their prey and before you know it, you're heart is broken again," Izzy said one day while we skated through our neighborhood—or better yet I skated while she used her board as a sitting prop while she watched the sunset. I must have been seriously depressed for Izzy to go skating with me, it had literally been years. Izzy helped me channel my crazy array of emotions, becauseabove all else I'm honestly pissed off. At myself? Yes. At Sebastian? Hell to-the-freaking yes. At life? A little. At love? Sigh, I'm honestly too scared to let someone in again, hell no, not going there again. I may look like I ooze confidence, but I'm far from that. I'm such a teenager...

A few weeks after crying to 80's rom-coms and Coldplay (Seb's favorite band) while binge eating, I finally snapped out of my zombie-like trance and decided to let my best friend Izzy give me this makeover. She said it would help me cleanse and renew. I didn't believe her at first, but it really has given me a new level of confidence. I'm still me, but there's something extremely liberating about a clean slate. For once the little confidence I do have isn't fed by Sebastian. That's one thing I can definitely thank him for. When things were good, he was amazing to me.

I was also determined to show myself that I could be a little independent, so I used my savings to buy myself a car and get a license, with the help of my dad of course—hey, I did say a little independent... I mean c'mon, I'm in high school, get with it homebrew.

After I finished getting myself ready for school I headed downstairs for breakfast. As I enter the kitchen I hear what sounds like a bear ravaging his food and I turn to see my brother, milk dripping from his chin as he hovers over his cereal bowl at the table. Very attractive.

He gives me a knowing smirk and uses his arm as a napkin. How charming. "Hey Double K, sleep well?"

I roll my eyes. I'm so annoyed at this kid. I cross my arms, "You're such a hob-knocker Jon, and you blasted your damn music all night! On the night before the start of the school year! You know how I slept."

The events of last night went as follows...

Me: Jon! (Slams hands on door) Turn that noise down!

Jon: (Turns music up)

Me: Dammit! (Slams fists on door) Jon, I need to sleep!

Jon: (turns music up even more)

Mom: Clary, leave your brother alone and keep your noise down!

Me: Ahhhh! (Runs back to room and slams door)

Can you tell who my mom favors? Yeah, neither can I...

Jon feigns a hurt expression and puts a hand over his chest. "You mean you don't like my choice in music? I thought we had bonded over a mutual love of-"

"Shut up, Jon! There's a time for everything, and my nights are for sleep! Quit being such a jock strap and get your head out of your—"

"Did you just call me a jock strap?" He says, a smirk is tugging at his lips and I can see that he's trying not to laugh.

The truth is things are just now getting back to being this way. When Seb dumped me I fell into such a deep depression that I rarely had the energy to argue with Jon about anything, I kind of just... existed. He often spent his nights letting me cry into his shoulder while he comforted me. It was a dark time for me, and Jon was one of the few people who held a light to guide me out.

I unfold my arms and let them fall at my sides. I'm fighting back a smile. He's such a clown. As irritating as Jon may be, it's always hard to stay mad at my twin for long. I sigh, "Maybe."

"Well, at least I know what that is! I still can't figure out what the frack hob knocker means." He scrunches his nose up and squints his eyes in thought, "Why do you call me that anyway? It sounds like a pirate name."

I sputter, where does he get this stuff? Though I'm no better, truth is I have no clue what it means, but I'm sure it can't be good. Either way, I don't tell him any of this, for obvious reasons. "Well, you don't hear me complaining about Double K! I've gotta come up with something too. Besides, Double K sounds like a breakfast bar to me." I huff and cross my arms again.

Jon chuckles, "You earned that nickname again Shorty. Besides... It's not a bad thing, you know..." He looks at me with an unexpectedly tender expression. He smiles lovingly at me, standing to take his empty bowl to the sink. I watch his back as I feel a swell of emotions course through me. I used to hardly see this side of him—until recently. The last thing I want is to start out my first day of junior year crying. Curse you for this, Jon.

I sigh, blinking away a surge of tears that threaten to spill over. Jon started calling me Karate Kid Klary in second grade—according to him, my name was supposed to be spelled with a "K" and everyone was just oblivious to this absolute truth. One day on the playground, I pushed a boy off the monkey bars and kicked him in the shin after he spent weeks tripping me over, making fun of my toothless smile and frizzy red hair, calling me Hairy Clary—often leaving me in tears. Usually Jon made it over and scared him off, but that day he was kept inside during recess. According to Jon, the boy never bothered me again because I unleashed my "wrath" on him. I say I went far too easy on him... I'll get you one day Billy, one day.

From then on I was officially Karate Kid Klary—which Jon later changed to Karate Klary—when we learned about the KKK in History. Being Jon, he still found humor in that. Oh Jon, the maturity of your 5th grade self just astounds me. To make it even better, he later changed it to Kickass Klary, when he learned the word kickass. Jon said I earned the name because I had a new look in my eyes. One of determination and pride; I no longer allowed people to push me around. It remained that way until we got midway through middle school. Basically, my ego took a hit from a monster by the name of Puberty. That bastard snuck up on me like a squirrel's mystical ability to materialize in front of your car, leaving you forever scarred by the inevitable consequences. Rest in peace, Sniffles...

After I started seeing my body go through all these weird changes at a much slower pace than Jon, Izzy, and Alec—who all looked like they belonged on the runway since 6th grade—my strong personality took a blow, until I was as complacent as that 2nd grade version of me. Then after the depression of my breakup subsided and I snapped out of it, Jon says one day he saw me walk downstairs with that same glint in my eye— in short, Double K was back and she was hungry for vengeance.

Walking toward me, Jon stops to my left at the entry— me facing toward the kitchen, him facing away from it. He places his hand on my shoulder and searches my face, for what I'm not really sure.

"You're okay?" He asks, almost unsure of himself.

I turn to look up at him since he towers over me. We may be twins, but at 5 foot nothing my stature is a stark difference to my brother, who is nearly 6 feet tall. His flawless fair skin, with silver white hair, and sharp facial features are rivaled by my pale freckled skin, fiery mess of curls, and round face. The only things we have in common are my mother's deep green eyes; on me it only makes sense, on him it adds to his already unique, and apparently alluring, appearance. Gag me. Jon, with the exception of his eyes, is an exact replica of our father, whereas I'm a spitting image of our mother. If you didn't know us you wouldn't have the faintest clue that we're twins.

I purse my lips tightly, squint my eyes, and nod my head. "Yeah, I'm okay. Just a little nervous, you know." I wave my hand aimlessly in the air. "It's no big deal, just first day jitters."

Jon doesn't seem convinced, I can tell by the tension in his shoulders. He's afraid I'll slip back into depression. He doesn't tell me this, but I already I know it. Call it a twin thing but Jon and I have the ability to silently understand each other. We are so in tune, so connected that often times those who don't know us think we're dating... Ugh, just sick.

People at our school stopped thinking that when I became Sebastian's girl last year, which is why Jon is nervous. Frankly, I'm scared too; those halls we walked through, fingers intertwined, those lockers we met at between classes, our spot in the courtyard for lunch, the janitor's closet that we spent many skipped classes in making out until we didn't know our own names... Why am I doing this to myself?! Sigh... The school is riddled with memories of him, and I suddenly find myself thanking God that Sebastian himself is gone—just a faint memory. Hey, he may only be at a school across town, but that's practically a different universe when you're in high school, especially in a city this big. Frankly, I don't know how else to be around Sebastian, so his transfer is a good thing.

"Well, I'm here for you, Double K," Jon pats my head and pulls me into his chest for a hug. I close my eyes, lean my cheek against his chest, and wrap my arms around my giant of a twin. He may be a jerk sometimes, but he's the sweetest most comforting brother when I need him to be. He's my hob knocker.

"Thanks jerk-wad, now I'm all emotional." I say as I pull away, swatting his arm, and giving him a playful scowl.

"Well, now that I've used up all my cheese for the month, let's go before we're late and end up in Starkweather's Saturday school detention." Jon says as he heads into the living room. I sigh, taking my iPhone out to check the time, 8:05 AM. I roll my eyes, we have 45 minutes before school starts, and we live 10 minutes away… My brother may be a pig when it comes to his room, he may leave the dishes piled up to the ceiling sometimes, he may even let his dirty clothes build until they're a mountain in his room, but punctuality is a must for him. How random.

I grab a few bagels and smile when I see Jon brewed me some coffee. I cannot and will not start my day without coffee, ever. I pour some into my "Fuck Bitches, Get Monet" travel mug. Because I'm a classy woman who loves herself some Claude Monet humor, thank you very much. I couldn't help but love that mug, when Simon got it for me a few weeks after the breakup, as a desperate attempt to cheer me up. I swear I almost threw him against the wall and kissed him. What? I was crazy emotional and hormonal… Thank God that phase ended already... Yeah, right. Thankfully, Simon was spared from the throes of my hormonal episodes. Not quite sure how he would've handled that. My dork of a best friend hyperventilates at the mere thought of holding a girl's hand. Hopefully we can get him a girlfriend this year…

After finishing my breakfast and refilling my Monet mug, I head toward the living room to catch Jonathan fixing his hair in front of the wall length mirror by the door, and I can't help but roll my eyes. This kid, I swear... He spends more time in front of a mirror than me.

I suddenly realize I hadn't paid attention to what he was wearing. The same color as always. Black, like my soul, we always say jokingly... Black converse, charcoal skinny jeans, and a black shirt with the words "Sleep Is For The Weak" sprawled across the front, an xbox controller outline below it. I bought him that shirt, Simon was super jealous when he saw it was for Jon. I smile to myself, remembering Simon's pout as he crossed his arms and huffed, watching Jon's face light up as I gave him the shirt. Imagine how angry my best friend was when he saw that I bought myself a matching shirt, it took a Star Wars and Lord of the Rings marathon—in costume, no less— for Simon to forgive me. It was worth it though. That shirt is special to both Jon and I because, not only do we share a love for gaming, we also both love the reference to one of our favorite bands. Bring Me the Horizon is life man, it's life. Oliver Sykes is my long lost lover, of this I am convinced... Sigh.

I've been such a nervous wreck about going back to school without Sebastian, so I know Jon is wearing the shirt for me. He wants to comfort me; to reassure me, and it truly makes me feel even more emotional. I'm just glad he can do it without compromising his wardrobe. God forbid...

My mother tried adding what she called "a splash of color" to Jon's wardrobe once. It ended with Jon taking a vow of silence for a week, in protest. I know... we Morgenstern's sure are known for theatrics. Eventually mom relented, seeing it as a phase he will grow out of; not wanting to oppress his freedom of expression. Yeah. That's my mom alright, a bit of a hippie. She took a road trip to a music festival once in high school. To this day she can't remember how she made it home, and frankly I don't dare ask for more details.

Mom's an artist, which is where I got it from—thank you God for not failing me in that department—she owns an art studio downtown where she often holds classes, so it takes up a lot of her free time. Not that we mind. It leaves us with plenty of freedom to spend hours in front of our TV, playing Xbox. Gaming is life, yo.

"Trying to look good for anyone in particular, or has your obsession with self-image simply increased over the summer?" I say smugly to Jon, as I lean next to the wall length mirror, arms crossed. As soon as I see the flicker in his eyes, I immediately regret my words.

A grin spreads across his face, "Funny you should say that, Shorty. I should ask you the same question. Hoping the dreamy Jordan will finally, like, totally notice you?" He finishes the question in a high pitched, girly voice.

I roll my eyes as I bite back a smile, and punch him in the shoulder. "You're such a knob head, Jon. Seriously though, any lovely ladies that peak your interest this year?" I lift my eyebrows at him, hoping the subject of Jordan is forgotten.

"One day I will find out what that damn word means, and sadly, no." He sighs, "Unfortunately my one true love remains myself."

"How ever will you cope?" I reply, putting my hand to my chest dramatically, feigning devastation.

"You know how I cope," he smugly wiggles his eyebrows at me.

"Ugh Jon, you're such a pig! Maybe this year you should spare the female population at school. How many unsuspecting victims have you deflowered already? Actually, you know what? Don't answer that, sadly I already know. We are way too close for my taste sometimes." I visibly shudder.

He snorts. "Like I haven't heard about your little escapades in the past—"

"That's not the same Jon! I'm still a virgin, you know." I glare at him. Jerk.

He continues fixing his hair as he annoys the crud out of me. "Yeah, hardly. Either way, I doubt that'll last much longer at the rate you're going with Jace—"

I groan and throw my hands up in frustration. "One date! I go on one date with Jace—which Izzy set up by the way—and suddenly I'm jumping into bed with the guy! I haven't really seen him since then! Besides, he's back with Kaelie again." I say with finality, taking the last bite of my bagel and crossing my arms again. Honestly, he hasn't left it alone since I went on the date at the beginning of summer. I roll my eyes. Serves me right for letting Izzy set me up with her cousin.

Jon's hands freeze as they linger above his hair, his shoulders scrunched up as he hovers in front of the mirror. He slowly turns his head to look at me, an annoyed look on his face. "Again? Didn't she, like, cheat on him with Aline?" Sadly, this was typical of Kaelie. She's attracted to anything that walks: man, woman, dog, Bigfoot, C3PO, Shelob from Lord of the Rings, anything. Okay, maybe not dogs...

I let out a gust of air. "Yeah, yeah, apparently she was 'going through a phase'" I gesture quotes with my fingers around the words "and Jace did what he always does." I raise my outstretched hands to my sides and left them fall against my legs.

"You mean he forgave her, so he can do her?" Jon says as a wry smile spread across his face.

"As always. They've been at this for over a year now. I can't blame him though. I think the closest he's ever been to love is with Kaelie, and when it comes to love you will do anything to keep that person," I say. I definitely understand him.

We've actually been friends with Jace for a long time. Izzy, her brother Alec, Jon, and I have been inseparable since 6th grade, and being their cousin and all, he kind of came with the Lightwood package. He moved away a few years ago while his parents divorced and moved back in the middle of freshman year. He's been a distant, albeit a constant, friend to Jon and I ever since. When he came back though, I was like hot damn boy, you lookin' fiiiine. Puberty did him well. Sigh. Puberty did everyone well, except me.

"Well then, all of that," he gestures at my outfit "must be for Jordan, then. Hoping to get lucky little sis?" He smiles at me as he wiggles his eyebrows.

I am so over this conversation. I glare at Jon, reaching for my coffee cup and taking a sip.

"It is most definitely for him! He is absolutely going to have his way with you and you're not gonna do a thing to stop it." A female voice croons from the hallway.

I choke on my coffee. Jon and I freeze. Oh my god. We turn to find the source of the voice. Our mother, Jocelyn, stands with a large box of paint in her hands, two others set down beside her. She came in here twice already? How did we not hear her?! As she stands before us, I'm forced to note all our similarities. Her deep green eyes stare blankly at us; her fiery red curls are tied up in a knot above her head, with loose tendrils falling all over. She is a bit taller than me, but not by much. Why have you forsaken me in the height department mother?

Jocelyn Fray-Graymark, or as we like to call her Mom, Momma J, the Head Honcho, the Main Pea in Our Pod... we are nickname enthusiasts in this household; so either get with it, or hit the pavement bro-ski. Anyway, she's the reason Jon and I have turned out so... free spirited, I guess that's the best way of saying it. She and my Dad, Valentine, divorced when Jon and I were 5. Ever since then we see him occasionally, but he's a busy man. I love my dad, but I can see why he and mom just weren't meant for the long run. Mom has always been a wild spirit, and she felt controlled by my Dad, like he was trying to drain the life out of her. She left him and took us with her because she knew Dad's job would always come first, and we would simply be another outlet for him to assert his authority on. Though, my Mom would never dare tell us any of this—Jon and I just had plenty of nights were we would sneak out and listen through her door to hear her crying to her best friend, Luke, over the phone about it all.

She stands before us looking straight ahead, a slight hint of annoyance in her eyes—Wait. Back the truck up. Did she just call me easy? Me? Her own daughter? If anything, that's Jon! Heat creeps into my cheeks at this, my eyes widening. I nervously fidget with my coffee cup and mercilessly chew my lower lip. She turns to set the box down, revealing the Bluetooth headset in her ear. Jon and I sigh, collectively. Thank you, sweet baby Jesus.

"Look Amatis, I've gotta go. We'll talk later. Okay? Bye." She says into her ear piece.

Oh God. She was talking to my aunt about her sex life. Gross.

"Oh, look at you!" Mom says as she walks toward me, arms outstretched. "You look wonderful, Clary. You don't need to feel embarrassed by how you're dressed," she says as she places her hands on both sides of my face, pressing my cheeks together. She thinks I'm blushing because of what I'm wearing. I decide it's best to leave it that way. God that would have been beyond embarrassing.

"I personally love that you let Izzy spice up your outfits a little bit; show that boy what he missed out on," she says as she continues pressing my cheeks together.

Yeah, I was undeniably in a very vulnerable place when I let my best girlfriend give my wardrobe a little spicing up. Izzy wanted to change it completely, but as one of my favorite shirts says, Never Get between a Girl and Her Band Shirts. This is why I'm wearing my white Arctic Monkeys shirt today. However, I'm not donning my usual jeans and converse. Instead my shirt is tucked into a high waisted black and white polka dotted skirt—a huge step for me because I'm not a skirt kind of girl, or I wasn't until Izzy had me get used to them over the summer. Lucky for me, she found my green zip up sweater as a great accessory, saying it was a good layer for the skirt or something. All I know is that it's as long as the skirt so I can cover it up if I want. I'm so thankful for the black tights I'm wearing. They help my legs feel less exposed— though I am well aware that they aren't, the tights just help me feel covered. As for my shoes, they were a definite compromise. Izzy wanted some crazy pumps. It's like the girl forgets school isn't a social event. She wanted me to add some height, so the black platform shoes we ended up choosing were a win for both of us. I could never part ways with my lucky beanie, so that was a must; my hair is in two braids, which fall to my chest. Adding to the spunky look, Izzy gave me a black choker to match the black rosary my grandma gave me for the first day of school a few years ago.

I roll my eyes at my Mom, pulling her hands away from my face as I begin feeling my blush change to a deep shade of red. "Mom!" I say in a whiny voice, because I'm a junior now, and I want my maturity to show. "You're gonna mess up my makeup! Besides, Sebastian doesn't go to our school anymore, this isn't for him." I say rather bitterly, and I realize I sound about as convincing as Izzy does when she says we won't spend more than an hour at the mall. In short: not one person in the room believed me. I see you in that portrait Grandma Fray, eyeballing me suspiciously...I see you.

"Well, as much as I don't think you should change to please, I do believe in the road to self-discovery," she says as she places one hand on my right shoulder and one on Jon's left, trapping us in a mini Morgenstern-Fray love circle—with her as the chain that holds us three together. "And what better way than through self-expression?" She says as her eyes dart between Jon, who is to my left, and I. "I love you both so much, and I'm so proud of you," Mom says, and she pulls us both in for an awkward three person hug/huddle. "Now, before you go I need you two to move those boxes back there over to the trunk of my car," she gestures to the boxes with her head. Jon and I roll our eyes so hard they nearly get stuck that way when my mom smacks us both upside the head. Can you feel the love?

We're setting the boxes in the trunk of my Mom's Jeep when we hear Chris Cornell's beautiful voice start blasting from my car. I turn to my look at my brother, a huge grin on my face. "Luke," we say in unison as we run to my car.

When we get to the car we see Luke sitting on the driver's side, door flung open as he fidgets with the new sound system in my car. Wait. New sound system?!

"Luke!" We both yell, over the song that's blasting loud enough for us to feel the vibrations.

Luke's eyes are squinted, his nose scrunched up in concentration as he messes with the wires. We wave our arms to try and get his attention, but he's too focused on whatever he's doing to notice us. My mom walks up behind me holding my messenger bag and coffee mug. We stand there and enjoy the beauty that is Audioslave, until the song comes to an end and Luke finally looks up to see us there, excitedly waiting.

"You've officially made my day Luke," I say, still smiling "Like a Stone is a classic. You know me well."

Luke gets out of the car and walks toward me, a shy grin on his lips and his hands shoved in his pockets. "You are absolutely my musical soulmate," he replies.

"You know it," I say and hug him tightly, burying my head in the space between his neck and shoulder. Please don't see me blushing. He's such a sweetheart.

I love Luke, he's amazing. I would be lying if I said he didn't influence my musical taste growing up. I would also be lying if I said I don't find him the least bit attractive. You know, in the "he's your stepdad Clary so stop crushing on him, dammit!" kind of way. I don't have a crush on him, in case you we wondering...I did when I was like 9, but I'm a grown woman now, almost 18. Besides, he's my stepdad; it's wrong on so many levels...right? Curse you mother for having such good taste in men. Curse you Luke, for being your amazing, fine as heck self...sigh..

Luke Graymark has been my Mom's incredibly attractive best friend for years. They got married when Jon and I were 10. Luke took the courtship painstakingly slow, making sure that Jon and I accepted him just as much as Mom did. We first met him when we were 9. I think the moment he won me over was when I walked into his bookstore to find him jamming out to The Cure, while reading a Kurt Cobain biography. What's not to love?! My mom sure knows how to pick them. Once again, sigh...

Luke is seriously the coolest. He honestly didn't have to try because the second I saw the way he looked at my Mom, I knew he was the one for her. His musical interests were merely a plus. A huge plus. In short: We freaking love the guy. After they got married, Luke bought the book/music store next to my Mom's art studio so he could continue working and keep close to her. So freaking cute right? I never thought I would say this about my Mom, but I ship her and Luke so much. I can only hope to someday find a man that treats me the way Luke treats her; like she's a God-given gift to this earth. Honestly, I think Mom and Luke were meant to be together all along, but destiny had other plans, involving a particularly badass pair of twins...

"So, Luke was it just me or is the sound system in Clary's car like, 10 times better than normal?" Says Jon with an excited smile on his face. I roll my eyes. Boys and their toys...

"Yeah, well, since your father insisted on helping Clary get this beauty of a car," Luke says as he thrusts his thumb toward my white car behind him, "I figured I would help her get a sound system that better suited her needs." I look down at my feet, he's always spoiling me. We are such music lovers and Luke has always made it a priority.

"Thank you so much Luke. The sound is amazing." I say, looking sheepishly at him. I still feel bad that we weren't able to get the car he found for me. It was perfect. Not too old, not too new and flashy. But good old Valentine just had to step in. My Dad, Valentine, had insisted on me getting what he considered, "One of America's top of the line, safest, most reliable vehicles." Basically, there was no way in heck I could ever afford it, so I spent all my savings and he paid the difference. Trust me, when it came to an Audi A3 Cabriolet, there was a huge gap between what I could pay on my own, and what I needed. But alas, my Dad had his mind set. Did I mention Morgenstern's and their inclination for theatrics? We are over-doers, for sure. He refused to even consider letting me driving the car Luke found and offered to fix up for me.

I give Jon a side glare and he smiles at me innocently. We've been at this for days. I suspect he's the reason I was forced to get the Audi. He loathed the car Luke found, while I loved it.

"I sure am glad you're so happy about the sound system too, Jon," I say accusingly.

"It's alright..." Jon says, trying, and failing to sound casual. I'm on to you, bro...

When Valentine first sent the car, Jon tried his hardest to hide his excitement and relief so I wouldn't suspect him. Too late. We've been silently battling this out ever since. I will get him to admit his part in my being forced into this car. Which is why I told him that since he loved it so much I was gonna be the nice sister and let him drive it when the school year began. He's too busy psyching out about it that he doesn't realize he's agreed to be my full time driver. I'm gonna get him. Oh yes.

"Well, we've got about 20 minutes so we'd better get going," I say as I sling my messenger bag over my shoulder and grab my coffee mug from my Mom. Walking over to the passenger side I look at Jon expectantly. He walks toward the driver seat, a huge grin on his lips. Yeah, laugh it up, bro...

I cough loudly, getting his attention. "You forgetting something?" I ask, as I raise both eyebrows at him.

Jon rolls his eyes, "Oh yeah..." He walks back around to my side, sliding his hand along the trunk of the car, and opens the door, gesturing me in. Another condition to letting him drive my car. I am such a forgiving sister...

I slide onto the bright red leather interior. I must admit, it is a nice car. At least I was allowed to choose the colors. Good ol' Val, actually giving me a little freedom.

The engine roars to life and Jon's smile reaches epic proportions while I explore the new sound system. As the Bluetooth detects my iPod, I immediately scroll through my playlist searching for the one voice that will calm my first day jitters. It's a ritual, every year I jam out to this man as a way to start the school year.

Suddenly the car is swimming in melodic sounds, Billy Corgan's voice croons soothingly. I close my eyes, a smile tugging my lips. I take a deep breath and lean my head back against the head rest.

Believe, believe in me, believe

That life can change, that you're not stuck in vain

We're not the same, we're different tonight

Tonight, so bright, tonight...

I feel Jon backing out of the driveway as I open my eyes and wave to my Mom and Luke. Looking over at Jon, whose tapping his fingers against the steering wheel, I smile to him. He reaches over to hold my hand, and the music envelops us as we head to the start of our Junior year of high school. This should be fun.

Oh Clary, if you only knew the fun that awaits you..

One thing is for sure, Clary sure does like to contradict herself, doesn't she? Oh to be a teenager... She doesn't know what she wants but at the same time she knows exactly what she wants! The angst is palpable...

Izzy, Simon, Alec, and Magnus will be introduced next! Maybe some Jace? Some Jordan?

So what did you all think?

Jocelyn accidentally and unknowingly called Clary out, that was a personal favorite moment.

Kaelie...oh that Kaelie, not even C3PO is safe!

Jace and Clary went on a date in the summer? How did THAT pan out?

What's up with this whole Jordan situation?

Please click the review button and sound off! This is my first story ever and I'm pretty nervous about it! It was a rather long chapter and I can't guarantee that it'll always be this way. Again, this is my first time writing a story so I'm not sure how it'll be as I write more. This chapter was meant to set up and introduce some of the main characters in Clary's life. I am a mom so I've got a lot of craziness and hectic schedules to deal with, and I've only got one child! But I will always try to update again as quick as possible.

I want to give the biggest possible shout out ONE MORE TIME to IWriteNaked. She's the Clary to my Izzy, the Alec to my Jace, the Magnus to my Chairman Meow. She has truly encouraged me throughout and continues to do so—quite literally! I'm talking to her as I write this AN! She's the best and if you haven't read her stories you MUST, they will change your life. You will give up everything you own to join a monastery and dedicate your life to changing the world...or you'll simply find some amazing stories to follow and/or like. I see you Reckless Abandon and Shedding Skin, I see you!

The songs mentioned in this chapter were Like a Stone by Audioslave and Tonight, Tonight by the Smashing Pumpkins. All rights go to them.

Until next time lovelies!