A/N: If you don't remember the hilarious scene involving Kira, death, and a potato chip, please search the title of this story on Youtube. You won't be disappointed.

"The only name that wasn't written down was Light Yagami's. If that weren't enough, Mikami addressed him as god, and said he did everything Light asked him to."

Near's logic was pounding in his ears, and he could see the shock in Yagami's eyes as the "god" realized his world was crumbling around him. There was nothing that could save him now. Nothing.

"It's settled."

The warehouse was silent following Near's declaration. The members of Light's team, even the SPK, looked much like Matsuda normally did—dumbfounded.

A slight sound of crinkling broke the silence. Near's eyes widened.

"Are you…eating a bag of potato chips?"

"Yeah. I was kind of hungry and didn't have any popcorn."

"…And you are aware that you've just been revealed to be a mass murderer, right? And we're going to execute you."

Light crunched on another chip with apparent relish. "But I'm not Kira."

Near's cool exterior cracked. "Stop eating and pretending that this doesn't matter! You're a murderer!"

Crunch. "Prove it."

"I JUST DID!"

The others in the warehouse looked from side to side helplessly, and Light stopped his chewing for a second. "Let me see that." Near threw the fake Death Note at him, hoping that it would prove more fatal that way than it had when names were written in it.

Light grabbed it out of the air with his free hand (which was now smeared with potato chip residue) and made a show of examining it, holding it at arm's length and then close to his eyes.

"This was obviously a set-up. You're trying to frame me."

"What?" Near hissed. "Then how exactly do you explain the fact that Mikami wrote this just now?"

"He was in on it. Isn't that true, Mikami?"

"Yes, god!"

Near's eye twitched. "YOU'RE KIRA! HE JUST CALLED YOU GOD RIGHT NOW!"

"If I were Kira, would I be eating potato chips at a time like this?" Crunch.

Near had had enough. "Matsuda! Aizawa! Stop him."

Matsuda just stared at him, and even Aizawa seemed confused. "You want us to stop him…from eating potato chips?"

Crunch.

"YES, THAT IS WHAT I WANT!"

But it was too late. Light dropped the bag of chips in triumph. "You were right, Near. I am Kira!" Light's grin was that of a maniacal murder, possibly because he was a maniacal murderer. "But your time is up! I've already finished all of the chips!"

Insane laughter rang through the warehouse.

And, as the laughter echoed from the walls and poured down from the ceiling, everyone in the room began to have a heart attack. The SPK went down first, team members crumpling like dolls around Near as if they had discovered a desire to replace his old toys. The members of the NPA team fell next, Light laughing among them all the while, until only Light and Near were left.

"How?"

Light picked up the bag of chips and shook out the small piece of paper and the little pencil that had been inside. As Ryuk (who was laughing in a way only possible for those who had no need to breathe), Mikami, and Light looked on, the white-haired boy paled and grasped his chest in pain. He tottered, took a small half-step, and collapsed to the ground. Funny, the noise he made when he fell almost sounded like—

Crunch.

A/N: And so Light became god of the new world and ruled over those he deemed righteous for many years before passing away peacefully in his sleep with his faithful bag of potato chips by his side.

Review, or I'll be forced to take a potato chip…[pauses, takes deep breaths]…AND EAT IT!